Are You Normal?
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What was I supposed to tell her?
When I first had a girlfriend, I was really exited about it because I allways wanted to have a girlfriend but I was shy to ask one out. Altough other people might say that the way we met each other is a typical one for a teenager, for me it was amazing and even romantic. We were at a high-school party after exams ended; I had my hair all gelled up, a nice white shirt with grey vertical stripes; I'm a tall guy (1.95 meters) and I guess I was irresitable that night. I'm not a party guy, or an alcoholic and like I said before I was still shy. The moment I stepped on to the dance floor, this blond girl was sort of flirting with me. We danced together, got closer and closer untill she kissed me. Then we continued kissing for a long time, we exchanged numbers and I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She nodded and we decided we will see eachother in school. The next day I saw her first and so did she but she didn't reconize me saying that it was because my hair wasn't gelled. The relationship only lasted 3 days and we barely got to talk about anything interesting. The thing is that our time-tables didn't match and so we could barely see eachother in school, and also she lived miles away from me. We were supposed to go out to the cinema but because she didn't reply on sms after I've sent her the list of movies, implied that something was wrong. And so the next day (the day I was supposed to have my first date ever) she dumped me saying that she didn't wanted to hurt me but she isn't ready for a relationship and wants to be with her friends. "It's not you, it's me" (hmm, I think I heard THAT before) I asked her to be honest and she said "Maybe it is because we don't talk much."It was that phrase that turned me down that day. I ignored her niceness and her claim that she didn't wanted to hurt me and basicly I went into depression. I had a difficult past which silenced me throughout my youth and made me shy. That is why I kept on asking myself questions about her and about me and about what was I supposed to do in order to maintain the relationship. Was she drunk at that party? Did she use me cuz I was good looking at the party? What was I supposed to talk with her about, to be more social? Was she honest when she dumped me? Am I over-reacting? Am I too sensitive? What does she want from me now? - I mean she always smiles and says hi to me whenever she sees me and she asks me basic questions like "How are you?" but that is what we did when we were a couple aswell. Was I supposed to talk about sex with her? I don't know and I need serious help with it because I want to lead a normal life and start dating. Can anyone help?
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Dating to find that special person is a numbers game, you have to be willing and open to searching and lower your expectations in what will come of your meetings. Raising your expectations so high is a sure way to set oneself up to disappointment and hurt.
I assume you are young, that means you should not be looking to settle down and make any relationship permanent. That will come years later and will be legally certified by way of marriage if you both are right for each other over time.
Because we do not click with the opposite sex does not mean one has done anything wrong and there is no reason to beat yourself up. This girl you write of sounds very honest and sincere so do not fault her. She was not rude to you was she?
I always suggest when you do date, keep the first one very short. The reason being many people are just not much fun to be around and/or have nothing in common with us. In other words, they just do not match our styles/interests. Thus, I wash my hands with them after the first time, but always in a polite manner.
If I told you of the numbers of girls who talked about former boyfriends on a first date with me you would be shocked. That is a sure turn off to me never seeing them again. You will get the same act at some time or another.
Move on and cheer up. Remember, to repeat........ it is a numbers game.