Am I being played?
My guy and I live together. He has an adult step-daughter who is jealous of me and I can't stand the sight of her anymore.
For his sake, I did try and get along with her until one day he told me that she called me a door mat to his face. Now I want nothing to do with her and I won't have her in our home.
On the rare occasions that she has come around, I have made myself scarce. I avoid her as much as possible and my guy knows we most probably will never get along ever again.
He seems dedicated to me but, for along time I have asked him when he's going to start moving all his possessions over to our place. He has a bad back and most weekends, all he wants to do is stay home with me and watch movies, drink wine and have sex (which I am not complaining about).
He told me a few days ago that this Saturday he is finally going over to pick up his things. The trouble is, tomorrow is his birthday and when I mentioned this morning if he was still going over, he said he would have to ask his daughter. Now I asked him if she had something planned for him, he said he thinks she might have but, it was not his choice.
Now I'm upset because he didn't say anything about it to me earlier. Am I justified in feeling like I'm being played here?
Sorry this is so long....guess I need to vent! He did ask me originally if I wanted to come over with him, I said yes. When I mentioned it to him days later, he said the more people who go over means, the less things he can pack in the car.
Step children frequently resent people who enter into a family and compete for the attention of others.
The step daughter likely resents you, considers you an intruder who is taking away attention she would be getting from your boyfriend (her father). Instead of taking her pain out on her father, she transfers the anger onto you.
I have no idea what you are after in this relationship. If you are not married, you have no right to complain or dictate what this guy is doing, or what time he spends with his daughter. Because you live with him gives you no special right to what he does with his time.
If you are married to him, you then have a say.
You are correct, it sounds like this guy is trying to have all the pleasures without making any committment. He wants contact with both you and his daughter, with no responsibility. So, yes you are being played, but you put yourself into this position by living with him and having sex with him.
Do whatever you wish, just quit complaining. You made a choice, now live with it or change it. Do not try to change the guy, he is what he is.
Don't walk.
Run.
You are overlooking something EXTREMELY important here, based on what you wrote two things stand out:
So glad he told you that. Uhm did you think to ask him if he DEFENDED you to her? If he did, he should have Told you he did. If he didn't, don't you think that is a little strange, for a guy who says he cares for you?
This guy IS a grown up, right? Let me see if I get this right: He has to Ask Her to get His stuff from the house? And she Might have something planned for his birthday but it is not his choice. (So you have to Wait to see if he chooses to see her or You?)
This guy has issues, and it sounds like you can do better.
Tobra