I am 36 and I love a 17 year old boy

Ok here's the story. Refer to the age of consent chart to determine whether it is legal. Use the below link I've posted a hundred times over to this point:


http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm


17 year-olds may be very bright, but they are also very inexperienced when it comes to life. Your maturity level is likely grossly above his, regardless of his mature appearance.

Expect to get resistance from just about everyone if you pursue it, even possible physical threats regardless if it is legal or not.

In less than a year, he will be of legal age anywhere so would be free to do as he pleases. But for now, he is living under his mother's authority, as she is his guardian, and has the power.

At age 36, you are at a different stage in life than he is, not likely a compatible match. Intimacy may be great, but relationships are a lot more than just about great sex.

I don't know about the ethical guidelines at your school, but if he is no longer a student at your school, it likely is out of the school administration's hands as far as dealing with you in a disciplinary manner or policing what you do. Only the law can come down on you if he is not of legal age to consent. Check into this so you don't jeopardize your job.

I'm not telling you what to do, just giving you things to consider. Please check the age of consent chart link I listed above as to the legality of your situation if you make a move.

Good luck!

I don't know where you live, if you live in the states I'm not sure if we have different laws by state, but I know in my state it is definitely illegal for a woman your age to have a relationship with a boy who's 17. Have you ever seen Dateline NBC's "To catch a predator." This usually deals with older men trying to get with young girls but I suppose the situation could be reversed. You are old enough to be his mother. I suppose if he is of legal age though, there's no problem, but chances are it's illegal.

Rory,

In the state of Illinois, if that is where you reside, the age of consent for both males and females is age 17. So, it is legal for a 17 to have sex with anyone who is older who consents. Check out the link I posted.

In three years time he will be 20, which means you guys can be together just fine.

And then anybody who has a problem with it should just mind their own business.

thank you very much. I'll check the site you posted. I wanted to tell you he was never a student in one of the schools I work and he was NOT one of my students. Thank you very, very much for the good advice.

My pleasure.

Strangelad, you are very rude and you don't have to agree with me of course. But do you need to be rude? My relationship with this "boy" is not all about sex and we share many things and have manymore things in common than I thought we had. Thank you for your nasty reply...

I now feel compelled to make a suggestion. Go for it!!! and..... to hell with those who disapprove, there are always outsiders who relish the role to tell us how to live our lives.

Do you realize, life is short and all that truly matters is happiness as long as we don't cause harm to others. If both of you are happy then it is the right decision to pursue it. Just lower your expectations and be willing to accept when or if the relationship comes to an end. Keep up your guard too, at all times.

You are much like Sisophous who is feverishly trying to push a boulder up a hill, against all forces and conventional wisdom.

Please post a follow up as to what you choose to do and the outcome, I'm interested to find out how this turns out.

sisophous, I really don't know how the story goes. We haven't seen each other since March 11th and he lives 8 blocks away from my house and I know that there are many chances he'll fall for someone his age. He fears his own mother. I will write whenever sometihng new happens. He'll be 18 on March 20th...he might show up then. But I want him to be happy, even if I am not the one to make him happy.

You are best approaching this as a close friendship and not a whole lot more. At age 18, guys are not emotionally or psychologically prepared to settle down with someone long term. They are naive, simplistic, and really are all about exploring the world, not committing themselves to any person. It may not seem this way at first, particularly during intimacy, but over time, it will show as you both will slowly separate. Outside forces will act on him and persuade him to change his choices.

I only tell you this in that most post 30 year-olds, are looking for more than just a short term relationship. If a short term thing is ok with you, which means cutting off all emotional attachments in time, then go ahead. If it will cause you deep hurt, then you are best off not even getting involved.

Sex changes everything and often leads to big time regrets from someone when the other chooses to depart for whatever reason.

Weigh all the factors and then come to a decision.

As long as hes not ur student, do him

apathy is setting in *yawn*

i say follow your heart! if you love him and he loves you then go for it! And i know lots of young people out there who are as mature as alot of adults who have alot of wisdom in life. good luck and be happy and i really hope you two give it a good go because you both love each other and that is all that matters.

Hear, hear! I'm 22 and dating my 33 former professor (former because the institution we were at is very conservative, and they found out. But I wasn't in her class or anything.). Especially if he's 18 now, you both have every right to pursue happiness, regardless of whoever disapproves. It's not their business. Go for it.

elephanititis, thank you so much for your words. But I am giving up on this love. I lost all strength...we haven't seen each other for a long time and I know he is young and will forget me sooner than later. It's painful and I don't understand why people in general won't let us be.

Give him some Poke-E-Mon cards and a twinkie, then offer to buy him booze, he'll love you forever.

Tobra