Are You Normal?

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i dont know what to think anymore

Well, first of all i am not trying to sound like a b**ch or anything and i truly do love my mom but i dont know how to feel anymore. Well it all started when i was about 8 and she was verbally abusive to me and my bro calling us ugly, stupid, retarded, etc, so one day she took it too far and beat my bro with an extension cord for not cleaning his room ( i can still remember there being blood on the walls) then when he finally stood up she threw a full plastic 5 pound bank at his head and she almost killed him, after he came back from the e.r we got sent to foster care for about 2 years. Thats when i started not to like her. I felt as if she had totally abandoned us. So now she is still the same except for the beatings. She usually just slaps me around a bit and yanks on my hair. She still calls me mostly names and blames absolutely everything on me because im the most mature even tho im not the oldest. i dont do anything a regular teen doesnt do but she continues to make me feel like i should be dead. Now im starting to wonder if i should be and if it would be better for her. I dont understand because i would die for this woman and she continues to show her hate toward me and acts like my brothers are perfect angels. i even take care of my 8 month old sister whens she asks and i cook and clean and break my back for them but i am the bad one. Help, what should i do. I love her but she hates me am i wrong for not liking her???
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (9)
sexy_college_girl18 (5974)
2007-03-11 00:43:51
How old are you??......First let me say that I am sooo sorry this happens to you...and of course you are normal for disliking someone who has put you through so much pain....I do not know what to tell you except you should not try to be "perfect" just to please her....if nothing you do is good enough for her then it never will be...and also if you think you could talk her into going to therapy(sounds like she needs it) then you and her should try and do that together....if not (and I do not think she would go).....then you must understand that your mothers abusive behavior is not because of you she has her own issues that she is obviously taking out on you...when you are old enough you should get out of the house and keep in touch with her but remember her constant put downs are out of anger and are NO WAY TRUTHFUL......Again hunnie I am so sorry this is your life....but ppl worse off than you have survived and you will too.....BE STRONG!!!....GOOD LUCK
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smithee (4389)
2007-03-11 00:48:48
No, you dont need to feel like its all your fault or ashamed. It has something to do with her mind, she is not right. She needs to see a counselor or a professional. you arent sounding like a bitch. If she gets real bad again call 911 or some authority. You have the right to disassociate ourself from an abusive parent.

I hope everything works out!
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cabinet70 (4440)
2007-03-11 05:42:43
she sounds like a cunt you should throw a big pot of boiling water on her I think
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Nodo_TheRanter (5564)
2007-03-12 14:54:51
WHERE IS YOUR FATHER?
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kristina_696969 (6736)
2007-03-22 17:06:12
This is actually the firstcommon sence thing I have seen Stargirl post! Really some people just aren't meant to be parents! Peoblem is our court system these days seem to always give the kids to the mother and taht is not always the best choice. Like someone else asked where's yuor father? You mention an 8 mo. old sister do think it is fair to her to be brought up in this envirment think about it!
If it happened to you and you will no doubt sooner or later be on your own it will happen to her! So if the father of that child is not yours also, you might want to try talking to him! And, I know I sound repetitive but counseling...you guys need it!
Good Luck!
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Knock_It_off (6904)
2007-03-31 23:39:36
Why did they release you guys back to her care??? You know you can change that? Your mother has serious psychological problems. I hope you or any of your siblings don't become her. Are you the oldest female? Many abusive parents tend to channel their rage towards one child in particular, I'm sorry she picked you. I don't know why they allowed her to have more kids. Hopefully you'll grow up, become successful, and make it your goal to not be like her.
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thefrizzkid123 (8550)
2007-06-02 16:53:39
omg im so sorry! music and chocolate.
music and chocolate
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ChrisEnder (8654)
2007-06-17 02:56:22
Get the book "A child called it" and ask her to read it, maybe then she will stop being a stupid bitch
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Neuroticism (9109)
2007-06-29 01:48:20
I would seriously stop seeing any value in her, my dear. I would use scare tactics on her if you're brave enough, put a knife in one of her end tables next to her bed with a note.

"Fuck with me, you ugly cunt and I'll dismember you in your sleep."

OR

Run to your local police station, make sure your clothes are ripped, this might evolve pain, but cut yourself up at bit, fall down, something, start bleeding and tell them she tried to seriously hurt you.

Don't be loyal to her, she deserves your worst veagence, mother or not, no mother or father should EVER treat their children that way.

You're not a scapegoat, you're not a punchingbag, and you do. not. deserve. that. ever. It's her fault for being fucking mentally off her rocker, you know?
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