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Is It Normal?
What do you think?
threesome issues..
I'm 23 years old & have been with my fiance (who's 27) for 6+ years now. For as long as I've known him, I've always been aware of the fact that he's wanted a threesome. Being that I'm bisexual and have never gotten very far with another woman, I've always been curious and as a result, the fantasy has always been in play when it comes to fantasy and sex.
Fast forward to this weekend. My bi friend that I've had a crush on for almost a year came over to spend the night. Almost right away, it seemed that things were constantly going towards flirtation. She would sit on his lap (though he'd ask me to join, too) and he'd cop a feel on her... I've never felt so jealous. Part of me feels greedy, because I want to explore another girl, yet I feel so awkward and like I don't belong when I see my fiance doing things with this other girl. I want to be with a woman and I want him to do something he's always wanted to (I don't blame him for being curious about being with another female, when I'm the only other one that he's been with) and I want to try things and not be a prude, you know? And I want to make my man happy. I believe that he's not lying to me when he tells me that I'm the one for him and that he loves me more than anything else, but at the same time, I'm just not comfortable in my own skin enough for a threesome to fully go down right now. I've been overweight my whole adult life & have lost a good bit of weight over the six years we've been together. We are both each others' first (I'd never been in a relationship before; I lived a very sheltered life..), but I just don't feel comfortable yet. I feel like I've ruined things between us, because this whole thing just has me acting so moody and testy and as a result now there's nothing sexual going on at all and instead there's a tension, though we have all been hanging out still and getting along (though that awkwardness is most definitely there). I've tried to explain my feelings to my fiance, but this was only met with a request from him for some space today & as a result, we are currently not on speaking terms. I'm hurt, and I don't know how to make things better. At this moment, I feel like things will never be the same again.

I guess, essentially, I want to know that my behavior isn't totally in the wrong. I've tried to move into things and get comfortable, but I need time & I don't think I'm wrong to ask for that...Are my feelings (at least) somewhat normal? Is there anything I can do to a)help my fiance understand & b)get more comfortable with seeing my fiance with another girl and being in the middle of it, too?
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Comments (8)
deric (6714)
2007-03-25 14:11:20
I thought someone would have commented by now. I'm no help - my mind is a blank. You just have to do what you are comfortable with - don't compromise.
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dukepost (6726)
2007-03-25 18:23:02
I don't know what you should do, but I do know that having a threesome rarely works out because it is too hard to see your boyfriend with another woman and no think of it all the time.
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dukepost (6726)
2007-03-25 18:23:29
^ ...not think of it...
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cabinet70 (4440)
2007-03-25 19:52:19
If you dont feel 100% ready for this dont do it or your relationship will be ruined. If you were able to do it you would have done on the night.
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Randy_Storm (6941)
2007-03-26 19:58:59
The problem is not the threesome but your own insecurity. Do you think he has been with you or six years because he is too lazy to look around or, because he is too blind to notice your weight?

To get into group sex one needs a mature outlook on relationships, absolute confidence (meaning knowing that if he leaves you is his loss) and, a basic understanding of non-monogamous relations.

People who participate in threesome usually find cheating un-acceptable yet, want variety and excitement. Is your boyfriend committed to you or just committed to his own hormones?

And how about you? How do you intend to take care of your "bi" tendencies? Are you planning to bring him into that part of you or, are you planning to keep that all for yourself?

Are you planning to have sex with another woman just not in front of him? That may be the reason he is mad. He knows your solution to the problem is to cheat.
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stargirl (5057)
2007-04-06 11:28:32
Threesomes are not for everyone.

It's not your fault that he cannot accept that threesomes may not be your thing...it's his own fault.

You should not have to "get used to" seeing your future husband with another girl. If you don't want to do it, don't. If he tries to push you into it, he obviously cares more about his sexual satisfaction than your emotions and is not worth your time.
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Smlowe5 (6816)
2007-04-09 03:12:05
just masturbate
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iamdick100 (7493)
2007-04-13 12:00:58
I know a woman who had a husband that wanted her to do another man while he watched. She gave into the idea. He really like it. He wanted her to do it again with another man and then a third. She was liking te new advanture. The other men were better lovers than her husband. So, one day she suggested that she do this 4th man. He became upset. It was OK when it was his pleasure but when it became her pleasure, it was a totally different matter. Be open and be careful.
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