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Is It Normal?
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I've been dating a married man. His story about lack of passion and relationship in the relationship sounded like the typical story until he recently told me he is married to a former body builder. They met at the gym when she was in her late 40's, fifteen years older than him. She had never had a child or been married, and was pregnant just months after they married. After the baby was born 12 years ago, she lost interest in sex, and apparently has not been interested since. He says there is no relationship, that she's not interested in him as a lover, and he gets turned off by her. Apparently there is some unspoken agreement that they will stay together until the child is 18. I admire him for that, but he tells me the relationship is like being with a cousin. He tells me I'm the best thing that's happened to him. He brings out the best in me with his passion, humor and generosity. At the same time my interest is wondering. What is going on here?
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Comments (8)
roger49 (3711)
2007-03-29 23:52:05
You're being used. That's what's going on there.
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dukepost (6726)
2007-03-29 23:55:06
He is just stuck in a shitty relationship, and has decided to wait it out for his kid. Unless he is just playing you. And ask him to explain to you how it will be better for him to wait 6 more years. It will probably be more traumatic for the kid then, because it will be in college (hopefully) and will probably feel like it is his/her fault if it happens just after he/she leaves. And ask him if it is good to set an example for the kid by having a loveless relationship.
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kamatantra07 (7041)
2007-03-30 00:03:18
@: roger49
So you don't think the female bodybuilder has anything to do with it? I wondered is she's gay - kay call me ignorant. But do men get turned on by muscle women 15 years older than they are? The man is so good to me an called me the minute his plane landed yesterday when he went on a business trip.
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kamatantra07 (7041)
2007-03-30 00:12:55
@: kamatantra07
Thanks for your quick response. You know the guy has been so attentive in every way - spending all his free time with me. Yet I still wander. He tells me he really needs to be in his son's life. His older children suffered when he divorced the first time and there is much jealousy. For the last 12 years he has traveled every opportunity he gets. Now he relocated from the east coast to the west coast where I am. It's been three or four months and he's never been away that long. He tells me if his absence isn't a clue that it's over, he doesn't know what is. He plans to move the wife and son here at the end of the school year, to a place where he can still see me, when the child is busy with other things. I don't know why I think of a short man marrying a bodybuilder 15 years older than him as well, unusual. Well thanks for the advice. His absence is making me rethink.
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roger49 (3711)
2007-03-30 00:27:19
@: kamatantra07
I don't know that he's using you, but my first reaction when I see woman dating married man is he's using her. That's usually the case.
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little_white_angel (6940)
2007-04-05 16:15:58
ur being used. how can you not see that
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kitty_time98 (8701)
2007-06-05 14:59:31
He should love her. He feel in love with her first. He's in it for the sex, hun. Loose him and find a real man. Besides, it's like betraying that woman. Horrid, just dump him. He's probably just sweet talking you. Besides, he has a child, my age, you know how devastated I would be if I found out my dad was cheating on my mom with another woman? I think you should forget him.
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tinkius (10153)
2007-09-09 23:16:49
Female bodybuilder? That's like being with a man altogether. Why would she be interested in a man? And why would he want her? Most guys like females to be feminine. With no ab or little boy muscles. Yuck!!!!! The guy is lucky he's leaving the transvestite.
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