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Im now 58 and my life couldnt be better I got a wife who loves me two beautiful children and five grand kids who look up to me more then anyone but I am having trouble letting the past go I made a mistake when I was a young man and I feel like ive paid for it ever since by not being able to stop thinking about it. I was 18 and fresh out of high school I was driving to a job interview a state away and I didnt have time to stop for sleep I had to keep going but I found my self starting to fall asleep behind the wheel so when I saw a hitch hiker I thought it would be a good idea to pick him up to keep me company and make the trip pass. His name was Miles and given my old age has prevented me from remembering alot of things I can remember that night like its was happening now. He was a cowboy with a guitar trying to get to nashville and we really hit it off well im not going to beat around the bush about it he asked me how I wanted him to repay me for the ride and of course I told him I was glad to have him then he just asked me "do you want me to suck your d***" I wasnt gay and im still not gay to this day but when I put two and two together with how good we were getting along and how tired I was maybe getting a blow job wouldnt hurt so I let him. It was the most incredable moment of my life and I when he got out of my old Ford truck I knew a part of me was leaving with him and well what im getting to is I have not forgotten him I love him even though we havent seen each other for years and hes probly forgotten me by now but if I could trade my whole life in right now to re-live that night I would, everything I have now is nothing compaired to that moment being with him made me complete. Letting him get out of that truck was the biggest mistake of my life and I constantly wonder how my life would have been with him at my side, my lover.