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Flashbacks

Sometimes, actually, a lot of the time I have flashbacks of watching my father die a couple months ago. They are persistent and almost tangible to the point that sometimes I think it's happening all over again. The only way I can stop it all is to cut myself. I use razors, or anything I can find to hurt myself, and end up with blood everywhere. I could paint entire pages with all the blood. Sometimes I can't stop either, I just keep going. At this point in time I have over a hundred scars on my thigh. Some are a couple inches long, and a good centimeter wide. Is this normal? Does anyone else have flashbacks, and have to control it with pain? PLEASE leave comments.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (4)
Anonymous
2005-07-01 01:02:40
This is not normal, is dangerous, and you need help.

Please go speak to your doctor and tell him/her everything. They will be very understanding, and will help you get over this self-destructive phase in your life.

I am so sorry for your loss.
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Element10010 (520)
2005-07-03 14:09:49
Flashbacks are normal. The pain part isn't. It sounds like you need desperately to talk to a doctor.
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Anonymous
2005-08-26 03:08:18
Please talk to someone. And who the fuck voted for this in fake.
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Anonymous
2006-06-20 00:55:00
Its normal to have flashbacks given your situation. With memories that have very strong emotions (especially negative)these are harder to just displace then everyday memories. Its tough to push a memory to the side when there are such strong emotions associated with the memory. Id agree with the others that you should see a doctor. Along with one-to-one counselling there are also medications out there that help ease the intense emotions associated with the memory, making it easier to control. There are also more extreme treatments that would be able to basically erase that specific memory from your mind (not everything surrounding it). See a psychiatrist!
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