What do you think?

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hey there,

So i understand i am at a "perfect" weight.
Sometimes i like what i see in the mirror, but most days i dont. I really want to have a flat stomach. and no fat on my thighs.
I want to be as skinny as a model, and i sorta wish models didnt have to be so freeking skinny because that is the reason i feel pressure to be thin. When im board i eat, luckily everything in my house is organic but i still binge eat.

this week at school, i was doing my homework in the library every day at lunch so i didnt eat, and i didnt realize i wasnt eating. untill my mom pointed out how thin i looked. and i was happy. then i spent a few nights at my best friend, lets call her Delaney*, house.her parents make such delicious meals and i always ate more than enough and i feel like i gained all that weight back. so i want to go anorexic and i know thats bad, but i do. i dont think its possible though because i always want to eat. and only when i fall in love with a guy i dont eat because i feel like i have butterflys in my stomach and that prevents me from eating. so im gonna try and fall in love again. anyways i know celery is pur water, no calories, so im gonna scack on that from now on.
if you know any other ways of loosing a few pounds tell me.