He is a ScumDog and would cheat on you just like he will cheat on that other Beeotch. Beware of Men.

I'm in agreement with METHOSjr on this one. The guy gets pleasure out of playing around with people outside of a relationship. If you were with him, he would flirt with someone else.

Thanks but he's not like that, and what we do isnt cheating, he wouldnt cheat on his girlfriend, he'd dump her first.

You don't think abvious flirting is cheating? There is physical cheating, and then there is emotional cheating. While he may not get physical with someone other than his girlfriend, if he is doing as much flirting as you are implying, he is emotionally cheating. While this does not necessarily lead to physical infedility, it can lead to other problems. People who get cheated on emotionally tend to have the same self-esteem issues as those who get cheated on physically. The fact that this guy is willing to do it in front of his girlfriend, whereas most people try to hide physical infedility, only makes it worse. If you doubt what I am saying, pretend that this flirting with someone else really is a habit (which it very likely is), and place yourself in his girlfriend's shoes.

But how do you guys think he actually feels towards me if he is actually willing to "emotionly cheat" on his girlfriend and flirt in front of her?? please reply!!

I think there is a good chance he is just doing it for the thrill.

That's great you get along and it's normal to tell someone you like them. Who initiated the talking about sex and being together? I really feel sorry for his girlfriend. She has every right to be jealous. I wouldn't put up with that crap. I would have thrown a bucket of water on both you and dumped him right there on the spot. I expect this isn't the first time he's done this, she's gotten used to this kind of bullshit. You're stroking his quite-a-bit-older ego and he likes the thrill. You're getting quite a charge out of it too, aren't ya? I think he's a cad and you're both cruel for carrying on like that in front of his girlfriend. Neither of you seem to have any respect for her or the person you say you're with. Maybe you belong together.

It's on VERY rare occassions his girlfriend see's us like this! its really hard to explain unless you see it. we both start speaking about being together and sex, its all mutual. he loves his gf and i love the person im seeing. but its just this thing we have in the background that i cant understand....

My apologies for jumping to conclusions. You have made your situation a little clearer. It's mutual but it doesn't sit right with me. I still call it cheating. Could it be that you are both enjoying these 'talks' because both of your relationships are lacking in areas or not open with each other? Here's an example. My partner isn't very affectionate but we are like a pair of old shoes. If one of his buddies gives me a little hug or gives my hair a quick stroke, I lap it up. It feels good! (It goes no further than that though.) Is it sort of like that with you? If both of you have been in relationships for a long time, possibly this is the excitement you both crave.
Sometimes we must think back and remember all those feelings we got in the beginning with our sweeties. The adreniline rush, sexual attraction and general goofiness fades in time. You've caught a whiff of those feelings like walking past a bakery, so tempting and you're both sneaking a taste. I hope this will pass and you don't end up betraying the ones you love. I don't think we have only one true love in a lifetime but like best friends we must be loyal and truthful to them. (but then again, I am just an old fashioned girl)

I agree about us being faithful, and i would never cheat as i love the person im with a great deal! and i dont think its that im sneaking a taste, just that im attracted to my friend and now i know he is back it makes it so much harder not to flirt. We spend ridiculous amounts of time together, even though we aren't going out, and were not the match to be hanging out together, although we are for hours at a time, talking about being together, sex and general flirting! i know something isnt right here...i want to try and understand how he actually feels about me, before i can work out how i actually feel about him. please comment.

Well, like you said, the question still stands. You want to know how he feels about you. With all the talking about sex and being together I'm puzzled that your feelings for each other are so clouded. I don't remember you saying you love being with him, he makes you feel wonderful or that you lie awake at night pining for him. The mutual attraction hasn't got you pouring your hearts out to each other. This is why this 'talk and flirting' appears to me like pure entertainment in this friendship, you see? Sure he said he likes you but in the way he likes ice cream? likes you as a good friend? what?
This is your point that has had me wondering right from your first post. Obviously you can talk with each other with great ease but it reflects a lack of deep feelings on both your parts if neither has discussed any feelings. You can't decide how you feel about him until you understand how he feels about you! Your feelings shouldn't rely on what he feels. I am curious about your ages. Are you 15 and him 25? or are you 20 and him 50? Him being 'quite a bit older' is vague and so do tell us..........

The reason i don't talk about me having deep feelings for him is because in my head im stuck on..."its never gonna happen" The way we speak to eachother, I think it shows fairly deep feelings for eachother, And as for the making me feel wonderful ect. He does make me feel very special, and i love being around him even if his girlfriend is there aswell, i don't lie awake, but i do think about him alot of the time. And i am physically attracted to him alot now, when we first met i wasn't attracted to him straight away, now i love his personalitly aswell! im 17 hes 23 but neither of us thinks age matters! please comment back.

Basically my only answer to you is this. You are only 17 and your friend, being an adult (and having a girlfriend) shouldn't have encouraged you. Friendship is fine but when he saw the signs of mutual attraction, he should have bowed out gracefully. It's impossible for me to help you any further.
Here is a story that will show you why.
A girl who is 16 and a married man, 32 yrs old, are neighbours. They start hanging out and are friends. The wife is suspicious and jealous of the girl's presence but is assured it is only friendship. The flirting is just 'for fun'. After being married 11 yrs the man has an affair with the girl for months. The 34 yr old wife finds out so he leaves her, empties their bank account and takes everything. The happy couple move far away as her mother is disgusted and he is ridiculed and shunned by everyone. The wife is totally broken and destitute. She has a mental breakdown then takes him to court. The girl turned 17 when the couple's divorce was final.
Ten years ago I was that 'wife' but I'm very happy now. I'm quite biased to say the least. Your situation is not exactly the same but it smacks of creepy similarities. I still stand by the previous posts that I've made. You're only 17 and you are 'The Other Woman'. His girlfriend should dump him because he is a cad.

I am so sorry to hear about that i really am! But i think people grow apart, and we have never done anything more than harmless flirting and we won't do anything more untill his single and i am. in a way its done you good to get away from him as he was clearly a complete nob and im glad your happy now, thanks for your help