What do you think?

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so there's this guy.. he was my first "crush"? i guess? only because he liked me first and woudl hit on me all the time. this was about 4 years ago, my freshman year of high school. we dated for a couple of days once, but he dumped me, even though he was obsessed with me before. i know it's because although he thought i was very pretty, he didnt think i had anything deep in me. well he made me SO nervous, i could never talk to him!

and though it may have been true then, i have changed so much. what i know now is that he still thinks im pretty but that's all. for the next 3 years i would love just seeing him in the hallways, and we talked occasionally, he has the deepest, most significant conversations...

ive never been in love though there have been MANY guys since him. the thing is, hes so DIFFERENT. he's intelligent, he talks an dthink so different from everyone else. he's in college now so i dont think ill ever see him again. i might be going to the same college in a couple years as it was also my first choice.

my issue is just that i cant develop feelings for anyone else. and can't think of anyone else i would want to be with. i dont want to be with anyone that doesnt think the way he does. I don't think i'll ever get over him. but i just need to. i wish i could just not have known him, not know that there is anyone like that out there. Or get a second chance SOMEHOW.