Are You Normal?

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A disease of isolation
35% Normal
25 Comments

I have a real problem. I'm 19 years old. I have no real friends that I hang out with. I'm always at home, alone. I go to university. All I do when I come home is watch television, go on the computer and study a little. The only times i go out is when I go to school. My weekends are spent alone in my room watching tv, surfing the internet, watching porn and studying when I have to.

This is even worse during the summer. I don't have a job so I do not work. May, June, July & August, 4 months of summer are spent indoors. My routine usually consists of sleeping in until 12 or 1 in the afternoon. After eating breakfast, I go on the computer then watch a little tv or play some video games til I have to go to sleep, which is usually at 2 in the morning. And this routine is repeated everyday for the entire summer! Now of course..sometimes i have relatives coming over...or I go to the supermarket..small stuff like that but most of my time is spent in my room all alone.

If I didn't have to go to school, this is what my entire life would be. Pretty sad and pathetic you must be thinking, yes it is. I've never made many friends in high school. I've never had much social experiences. I've never had a girlfriend, ect...

So why am I writing this? Well..maybe to see if anyone else has a similar experience and to seek advice. I don't know where to find friends. I've tried at university, but seems like everyone wants to stay friends as "school mates" and not more. I'm shy so I don't approach people often. I don't want to get a job because i'm lazy and also shy around people and don't want to work where there is interaction between large groups of people.

Now I'm a pretty normal guy. I can be funny at times and serious at times. Although I have been told I'm too serious sometimes. I like to crack jokes. Nothing is wrong with me. I'm 19, average height, average-looking, so it's not like there's something wrong with my physical appearance. I'm not dumb or mean or anything like that either. I'm an average guy. I like sports, going out to see movies, chilling, ect.. I don't do drugs or smoke.

I never really understood why I'm so lonely. Part of it is a lack of socializing in high school but there is more to it. Sometimes i feel it's simply bad luck. In the summers, I get so depressed that I start having suicidal thoughts and even sometimes I start crying at night.

My parents yell at me for not going outside and they yell at me for not getting a job like all other teenagers. I don't feel like working in a fast food restaurant. I'm afraid of going and applying for a job.

All I want is friends. A job, perhaps. A girlfriend. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. Not having a social life or not experiencing sex. I want to change, but I need help. I don't know where to start. I'm afraid this will eventually end up torturing myself to the point where I just decide to kill myself and end my misery.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (25)
well, just looks like me and a looot of other people with social anxiety.

you might want to serch around about it and if you think you have it look for real help.
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violent10dency
This is pretty normal actually, but I do suggest getting a job. I need to get a new job, because my current one is making me really depressed since I get treated like shit by practically everyone because now I'm the assistant manager and I guess that makes me the enemy or something. I do have a little bit of a social anxiety problem I am practically afraid to get another job, but I must get another one sooner or later.

You must really think about something here, if you don't go get a job now and get used to being around people, and aquire people skills, how will you be successful in life? Most any career involves conversing with people on a day-to-day basis. You don't have to work at a fast food restaurant go work at a movie rental store, golf course, skating rink, electronics store, bookstore, video game store, porn shop. LOL. There are many possibilities and a great place to find friends is at a job. You should try working somewhere where you stock shelves like walmart. It isn't really that hard and you will meet a lot of guy friends and maybe even girls will notice you. =) Plus I don't know where your income comes from, but you should probably try to stop getting all your money from mom and dad. This is a part of growing up, you don't want to be a 40 year-old virgin living with mom and dad do you? Your parents probably should have tried to make you get a job at a much younger age. Good luck.
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Yes. I should have gotten a job years ago. Now it could end up being a real problem since i'm 19 and have no work experience. Thanks for the advice.
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violent10dency
no problem. =)
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I would ask what else are you afraid of man? Life is simple, you live it once, Fucking do something. Why rot behind a puter in your rents house?
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i had the exact same thing happen to me when i was 12-15. and just like you im normal and funny. yeah the summers are the worst arent they? you HAVE to get a job, get out join a class, do anything, i know how hard it is and i still find it a bit hard to go to parties but its great once you get used to it
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I think you have a mental problem. Your not crazy or anthng but I just think you should see a psycologist to be evaluated. I done this before when I went to therapy, I had to be evaluated. There is nothing wrong with it. Either that or you must force yourslef to be social.
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Hi there. I THINK I know what's wrong with you. I am the same as you. Throughout my whole summer it was like what you described, just swapping video-games with reading. I have went to the doctors and found syptoms of Depression but I know i'm worse than that. But really, I think you have some kind of depression. The first thing to do is to see your doctor, if you don't want to talk to your parents about it. I hope you get better!
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And it's not your fault when you rot behind a computer because it just isn't your fault, you're probably ill.
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Maybe you need to build some confidence. You can email me or send me an SN. I feel the same way a lot. I have a boyfriend, but he lives kinda far away and when I'm not physically in class, I'm just home - doing nothing. First semester of freshman year of college went by and I didn't go to a single party... I guess I feel (some of) your pain. idk if it's against the rules, but sometimes you just need someone who wants to talk to you... I'll put some basic contact info on my profile.
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lol at myself. IM not SN...
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I've been incredibly isolated for a long long time.

I'm similar to the guy who originally posted this, only... I average going out like once a week and only for a few hours.

It's come to the point where I became extremely overwhelmed and anxious trying to go out one day.

So now I'm seeing a counselor, I go out everyday now and am slowly trying to put my social life back together. This means I'm contacting old friends and family to make socializing a new normal for me.

Hope anyone who is going through isolation issues gets over whatever is keeping them away from people. Take care.
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Low self esteem that's all your experiencing! Also that your LAZY and don't want to do anything. Get a par time job or even taking a co-op course volunteering in the field in which you are studying will help.
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same here !!
but i fell out with my bff and she turned all my m8s against me so i had a few left....then i had to move house so then i had none !! so now im scared to go out and because im ver chubby...i think people stare and me and think im extra ugly

i dont work...and im just like u !
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I'm the same way! You should join a club at school; something your interested in; and then maybe youll find someone whos alot like you and you two will click; even if you two do the same thing your doing now; just together. This way you can expand your social skills and eventually, you'll be HOME FREE!
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im just like you too. Exactly the same, i dont have a job but i did went out and applied to places but nobody called me back. Im really shy so i hate socializing. I dont go to school, i was refused from the college i applied to so gotta wait til next year. And i dont have any friends either. So mainly i stay home all the time which annoys my parents so much. I only go out when i see my boyfriend and thats like 2x a week max. You should see a counsellor or therapist and let them help you out, thats the best thing to do.
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Ollieo
It might be an idea to talk to a Dr or school counsellor about depression. There is a feeling of inertia and hopelessness in your post. It is really very common - as others here attest. Practical strategies do require that you get move your butt: e.g. look for work, join interest groups, network etc..
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story of my life. i didnt do shit for the longest time just sat around watched tv played video games did school and spent my time eating in mcdonalds corner booth by myself.

solution. i got a job. meet friends and a nice girlfriend through work. its hard to get out and meet people when u have noone to hang with and nowhere to go.

so defiantly find a job and move on from there
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Awwwe, dude that really sucks. I'm sorry :(
It does suck doing the same things every single day, and not having someone to hold and all that... but once you do find that girl you'll treat her like she's a queen I'm sure
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You NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO for one. Some1 to give you a little interest whether that's a friend or a psychiatrist.
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I'm a lot like you, except I'm not even going to school. I have no job, I'm afraid to drive. I go out for an hour once a week most weeks, to guitar lessons. That's it. I'm lonely, lonely, lonely in ways most people will never know about. I'm sorry we have so much in common.
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I'm basically the same, I have no close friends and barely ever go out. I'm infront of my computer most the time even though I don't want to be. The worst was in the summer holidays. I did nothing throughout the entire summer, I'm in a shit mood all the time, I'm only ever happy in college because I'm actually doing something. There was a time when I looked forward to the weekend... Now I dread it.
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This is going to sound weird, but you need to try it. I used to be in the same situation as you until I tried this.

Exercise.

You're thinking it's strange I know... but start exercising everyday just for an hour... doesn't matter what you do as long as it's a little strenuous. make it your job, your brain is going to be flooded with feel good chemicals, and you will automatically become more optimistic and feel better about yourself.

After that getting a job or making friends or joining a club will seem easy. I know it seems like magic but give it a try for just 3 weeks of your life, you'll be amazed. I was!
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I understand what you are going through because I go through that at periods. I mean I have a large circle of friends and I do go out alot but my problem is more I just don't feel like that is enough like they are my friends but I feel they don't know me kinda thing im just there like s rent a friend and now I feel like not doing anything anymore because of it I just want to sit at home and hide away.
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Yeah, man, I used to be like that and to a certain extent I still am.
The fact that you admit your problem and have taken the effort to put it in writing and seek advice is a good sign. Now you have to be consistent and pick the piece of advice that suits you best.
I could recommend one of 2 things:
a) Try to overcome your social anxiety and apply for a job at some place that seems more or less nice and cozy to you. E.g., if you're an intelligent type and like reading, get a job at a book store. If not, try some other place.
b) If you think this would be asking too much, go to your doctor and tell him that you have a depression. He will give you some antidepressants or Xanax, depending on your diagnosis, and that will take some of that emotional weight off your shoulders. He might also recommend attending some meet-up group where you would meet people with similar problems and make friends with them and see for yourself that you are not alone.
Hang in there, buddy.
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