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A relationship with my cousin
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Years ago my male cousin and I started a very close relationship. To be honest I've no clue how and who started it. We have never had sex per se but have come very close to it. Well years later I got married and my husband found out about this and told my cousin to stay away from me and he did. It has been a year and I saw him once again just the other day at a family get together. My husband wasn't there because we have separated for a while so I ended up giving him my phone number. Its been a week and we've been texting all day, everyday. Neither had mentioned past events until tonight and I've come to realize how extremely attracted I still feel towards him. He feels the same way. We started talking about how bad he wants me and to be honest I want him too. I know its not right. He wants to see me next week and maybe do "something." I just want to know if anyone has ever been in a similar situation. I would appreciate kind advice.
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Comments (40)
YOU ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL. There are many uninformed people in the U.S. regarding cousin relationships. Visit www.cousincouples.com and read the info. There was also an article in the New York Times regarding cousins marrying and having children. The risk is VERY low.

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/04/us/few-risks-seen-to-the-children-of-1st-cousins.html

By the way, my 1st cousin and I have been married 8 yrs and are expecting our first daughter. She is perfectly healthy in every way! (and we were married in the Catholic Church, which was fully aware. :)
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Tami(39122), Its funny i was Just reading your post i hope you guys are still together.....i had a similar experience except in my case she kissed me in back of a taxi lol! I was already in a relationship of five years and then I went on vacation which I didn't really wanted to go but my mother said it's been so long since I went (almost ten years) and so I caved and at that time my girl said "take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid" now I'm an honest guy and I get along with everyone so I didn't expect to do anything crazy and plus I never really cheated on anyone before so to make long story short I went on that trip back home and instantly fell for my 1st cousin who was all grown up and just stunningly beautiful with green eyes brunette and her hair cut down into layers just how I liked it on a girl and she has this nice soft white skin but not too white I mean it's just perfect and so I took one look at her and I thought "this girl must have a line full of boyfriends and guys after her, I just have no chance" but within three days she confessed to me when we went alone to get pizza and bring it back and that's when she said that she liked me and I told her I liked her too and whatever we stared at each other and laughed and hugged and then we got our pizza and left and in the taxi she sat really close to me with our hands locked and then within a couple miles in the ride almost getting back home she lifts up her seat and kisses me and I just couldn't believe it cus a second later I was going to do the same thing well anyways we've been talking on the phone for a few months now I'll be going back to see her and spend christmas and new years with her. I really thought the distance would kill us after a few weeks but it has made our love stronger and now we just want to live together. My point is you never know who you are going to fall in love with an it's true that the heart wants what the heart wants, I've never been so in love with someone like I am now it's amazing! And there's nothing wrong with being cousins, turns out we have a lot of married cousins in our family who all have kids and they were born just fine!
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Wats ur status nw?r u still eachother?
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i have been there i dated and had sex with her so you are not alone the heart wants wat the heart wants. so i say don't fight just embrace it and enjoy it
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Agreed. If you both feel strongly for each other then go for it. Don't let anyone hold you back. Live your life with no regrets. My best wishes to you.
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IF U LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES YOU THEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO !!!!!! IT EVEN RHYMES!!!!
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Well is he your first cousin? And I say as long as your legally divorced then go for it. Just no children! I can understand where you are coming from. Just be safe and keep it on the DL if possible.
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Why not children? Genetically cousins are far enough to have babies without worries. A genetic check can confirm their compatibility, just in case they have doubts - and by the way, nowadays many unrelated people do genetic check before going forth to have a child!
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If a relationship is safe, sane, and consenual then there's nothing wrong with it.

You're both consenting, you don't plan on doing anything crazy, and it's perfectly safe.

If you love each other, there's nothing wrong with it. There's no danger of having "mutant babies" or anything in cousin couples (as far as I know).
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I find myself in a similar situation, but I'm afraid that mine is more complicated. My wife has zero interest in sex, but I still want it. My cousin, lost her husband 2 years ago (we're both 57). We were always attracted to each other but never did anything about it. She recently confided in me that she misses the sex very much and we have always been very open with each other with talking about relationships. Her family is set and she can't get pregnant and I have no kids nor do I want any. I am considering approaching her about becoming "friends with benefits". Any comments?
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@: GrandAm
i say go for it man i did and im happy and i don't care who likes it or not so tell her wat you just said here to us man
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Well, we actually did get to act on it. My wife had to go out of town so I invited my cousin here to just get together, and when she got here, we just took one look at each other and knew what was going to happen. We didn't even talk...just hugged and went into the bedroom and tore each other's clothes off. It was the best sex I've had in a long time. She even liked to do things like anal and swallowing cum that my wife would never do. We plan on getting together every time my wife goes out of town now.
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This is pervasive and on going throughout the world, do as your heart leads you to do
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i am in a similar situation my cousin and i just bacame of age and i really really really wish i could tell her but i just dont have the cojones i wish she would give me something to work with but it is wat it is and trust me u are normal
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i dont see whats so wrong with being in love with ur cousin.
im in love with my cousin & yes she does know how i feel.
we have been naked together but have not had sex yet.
she is beautifull & we get on great together.
i say good luck to you both & go for it....
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me and my cousins were very curious as kids of 5 yrs old !! we would make out and show our privates i feel its wrong but cool at times!
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i think its normal love is love u cant help who you fall for my 1st cousin and i are in a relationship and ive never been as happy we love each other and dats al dat matters he is the love of my life and maybe one day we wil hav our own family after al the tests of course look wat im tryin to say is go 4 it he kissed me in the back of a taxi and look what happend
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hey if it aint yo bro or sis then it aint really big deal. ppl used ta do dat all da time. dats how dey kept da money in da family. do u girl.
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My first cousin & I re-connected last spring on facebook; I was always very close with his younger siblings but because he's older we didn't hang out much when we were kids. Started chatting, didn't take much time to get to know each other again; we just clicked. Flirting began almost immediately, we developed a very close, trusting relationship, relying on each other for advice and support. Things got intense as we opened up to each other more and admitted that we each always had "feelings" for the other. He told me one day he was falling in love with me and I said I feel the same. He was serving overseas at the time, but we got together in the summer for a family event. The attraction was undeniable in every way...physical, mental, emotional. Neither one of us has ever felt anything so strong for another person. We did end up kissing and having sex, a couple times...the BEST EVER! Unbelievable chemistry! He had to go back, I was left behind to deal with some family that found out about it. I don't see what's so wrong if it's legal in most states and we make each other happy and are deeply in love. Why do people have to make such a big deal out of it. It's not like we're molesting or taking advantage of someone or committing a criminal act. Go for it. P.S. I too am married; abusive relationship, getting divorced...long story. Shouldn't have cheated, I know that was wrong. But it's not the horrific thing that people around me are making it out to be. I wish people were more educated on cousin relationships.
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Its perfectly ok to be in a relationship with a cousin.. There is nothing wrong about it in the bible.. You can have children.. I know two different relationships where cousins get married and have smart beautiful kids.. First set of cousins are first cousins and the second are third cousins.. True Love finds you when you least expect it.. God Bless You both.. When the family finds out it will be challenging but at then end of the day its just you and him..
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Its frowned upon, but I can sort of understand. I have a cousin who is pretty and im close to, but I dont feel that way about her and I dont think I ever will.

It isn't completely wrong, but as someone else said, do not have children and make sure you are legally divorced.
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I use to slip the johnson in my cousin we had great fun for many years. It was great.
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FDR and his wife were first cousins.I have a second cousin I've had the hots for sense we were old enough to know each other.I have found out she always had it for me. She never had children and the thought of banging her gets the wood moving.If that chance ever comes I'll jump at it.
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Update: we decided to meet up a couple times, nothing happened. Until recently. We Finally hooked up and 1 month later I find out we're not even blood related. Turns put my dad, his uncle, is not my bio dad. What a relieve!
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My cousin had a huge crush on me for a number of years and I kinda liked him too...thank goodness I'm adopted and we weren't blood related- that would be gross!
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Btw, I'm sorry, but I forgot to mention to you that, yes, I do think that you are normal. Just be very discreet, as I doubt if the reat of your family would approve if you were found out.
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reat=rest
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There was a time when I wanted to do my really foxy 2nd cousin and I am sure she also knew. Now she has kids and all well I will never know. Kinda a turn on for me when I reminisce...
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I really like my aunt. Is that wrong
.ive had a few wanks thinking of her
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Yes its normal. my sister and i have been having sex together since we are 15&16. we are now 51&52 and still having sex. we have two grown kids together.
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I am surprised there are soo many people who think this is ok
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I so kw hw it feels.i am in a relationship wid my cousin.in nt situation is our age difference as well.i olde then him n being a girl m the one blamed for iniating the relationship.we havnt seen eachother for months knw cz of the distNce as he lives in fiji n i live in new zealand but the love is still there.m going to fiji to meet him in a week.the problem started a few months back whn hia mum n sis found out n frm then we r nt allowed to talkd to eachother but we still do without ny one knowing.his sis has told all my cousins abt us n recently my eldr cousin talked to me n hw all this is wrong.n wat impact it will ev on our family n may even create conflicts in our family between brothers. N since m elder i will b blamed 4 everything. So rite nw n jst totaly confused as to wat to do.i love him n he love me madly. There r so many situations to consider.i wantd to giv him time to grow older like atleast 2 yrs.n then after that lets c if we still wana continue it...wats u guys thoughts?
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Hi.. I'm in my 30s and been married for 12 years with 2 kids.. About 5 years ago I met my cousin and we've both been madly in love with eachother since then.. Everything about us is perfect. We want to do everything together and everything together is SO PERFECT! Initially I resisted what I was feeling for him and asked him to move on.. He started dating some girl about a year and a half ago.. During this time he's come to visit me twice and I realized I can no longer fight what I feel for him and told him so.. I know he's loved me since day one.. He's now broken up with his gf.. Now we're both certain that we cannot be away from eachother anymore.. Our families will not accept us.. I love my children to bits but I also love my cousin just as much.. My husband is an excellent father to our children and I've considered leaving them behind and running away with my cousin so we can be together for the rest of our life.. I don't know what to do..
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It's normal yes, but it can pose a slightly higher risk of pregnancy complications and can cause severe defects if the child of yours is to also reproduce with a cousin.
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I personally don't think its normal but I guess it fine just as long as you guys don't have kids...please for the sake of the children DON'T have kids...
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I think it is our human NATURE to sometimes be attracted to people we shouldn't be attracted to. It's honestly happened to me that I've felt kind of "attracted" to my cousins and even gone as far as being a little bit flirtatious and I think that's innocent enough, but I think you should restrain yourself. In life, sometimes there are limits that shouldn't be crossed. It's just a pesky ATTRACTION and you should just leave it at that.

If you're distant cousins, then you may be in luck, but if he's the son of one of your parent's siblings, then JUST STOP IT. That's just too much.

I'd suggest you stop texting him and keeping in contact with him (the temptation will just INCREASE that way) and you restrain yourself from your cousin and just try to be happy with your husband or try to meet other people.

I totally think these attractions are normal, they HAPPEN, but you just have to be a big girl and realize that this is not right and that you have to cut the contact for the best of you both.
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i guess make sure one of ya'll is fixed and go for it
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For the sake of your marriage, don't meet with him. Regardless that he is family, your basically cheating on him. If your doing something that your husband doesn't know about, and you don't want him to find out about it, that constitutes as bad as cheating. You need to stop talking to your cousin, at least until you figure things out with your husband. And really, if you let the marriage fail so you can continue the charade with your cousin, like is that honestly a relationship that could develop in the future? probably not, as your family. So you need to get over him.
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It is frowned upon, yet i dont think theres anything wrong with that, a word of advice,SCIENCE HAS SHOWN US THAT IF KISSING COUSINS(if you will) HAVE A CHILD THERE WILL BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.
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You need to get counseling. There are plenty of men out there who are not related to you, maybe you should check them out. You obviously have some major issues even considering having sex with your cousin. You need to remind him that you are related and unless you are both morons stay away from each other
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