Am I going insane?

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16 Comments

Fascinating

you are either going through a phase, or have stress/anxiety caused depression. going through depression is difficult and you do start to question almostt everything you know of. i reccomend you go to see your local doctor, ask for some tests to be done, if you are suffering from depression i recomend that you put yourself on waiting lists for couceling sservices as i am finding them a Big help in my current state of depression.

I wish I could meet you, my friend. You and I would have some amazing conversations.

totaly normal, but you do need to sort your life and your problem

Could be depressed. Their is also a psychological condition called "psychopathy" or Dissocial personality disorder. It's not too common but a trauma may create one type of it, but a certain percent of the population may just be different born that way. Some think one type of it is a genetic evolution to a competitive environment. Such people may be very likable and popular and have many friends as they possess the ability to be charming, kind and adapt to the way in which other people want to be interacted with on demand as they speak the social language very well and with less hampered emotional interaction. They may not be able to feel empathy or guilt like others do though.

There are 2 ways for these types of people to go. They can be very logical and great leaders accomplishing great things both for themselves and others. They are very good at manipulating and this can be done for positive or negative gains. They are socially more flexible in a way being free of certain constraints but can also be prone to anger violence or impulsive behavior with much less provocation then most take to react this way.

They would need to take steps to avoid falling into to a violent path in life and eventually prison and to be sure they are able to avoid all kinds of problems both circumstantial and emotional.

could be and advantage as well as a handy cap in a way depending on circumstance and how it's dealt with as they are not aware of other people in the same way they are aware of themselves. They may need to logically define right from wrong before having to make a split second moral decision. They can choose a positive purpose for living as just because they can not feel right from wrong simply by instinct alone doesn't need to lead to destructive or antisocial behavior misery (theirs or others)or to legal woes.

I think as a philosophy (even if not as a religion per say) Buddhism and meditation might be a good practice to find peace calm, freedom from anxiety, and a good logical and tangible connection to their fellow man and a mental focus that would further allow them to channel their mental uniqueness towards success and a fulfilling and stable, happy life.

As to the killing. Most people don't know what it is like to say jump off a bridge or start fires or blow up the neighbors car for instance, but can reason why not to do it why it is bad for them and others as well and not very productive or rewarding bringing only worry and trouble after words. One could become a government mercenary or a solider and kill for his country in combat I suppose and it might be acceptable socially and have value and maybe even be considered heroic when it was necessary rather than meaningless, helpful rather than harmful.

It may be important to be tested for this as a disorder or a genetic based difference depending on the root. As if you are (may not be though) there are ways to deal with it, use it positively, helpfully, productively or with purpose not by turning to violent crime and self destructive behavior. Even one who may not feel empathy can find reason to be constructive rather than destructive. Their are different types of psychopathy though and it can stem from other mental conditions or you can be born that way. It would be a good idea to seek counseling to find out and address or learn to deal with what ever is bothering you.

according to wikipedia One may "experience normal to above-normal levels of anxiety but are nevertheless highly stimulus-seeking and have trouble tolerating boredom. Their lifestyle may lead to depression and even suicide." These may not be perceived of as a result for letting your self do bad things but there are emotional costs and consequences if one acts impulsively without guidance of empathy or guilt. Consequences are always tied to making senseless and violent choices in life regardless of empathy and they can do you psychological damage regardless of some nature I would imagine even if you didn't feel guilt or have a warning of the problem.

having this mental condition and not dealing with it properly. could possibly lead to violent impulsive crime or predatory behavior and the negative emotions and or consequences that result still take a toll wither or not huge amounts of guilt or empathy were involved. Not having these intuitions and understandings in place to guide you can land you in a bad place if you do not know how to cope without them.

oh I also think alot of that type of personality can enjoy being Jet fighter pilots or enjoy other thrilling high energy careers but seek advise from professional might be a must to get diagnosed and to know whats going on. I think getting into Buddhism/meditation as that too might be helpful.

i think its normal. sounds like your a thinker, an introvert. someone told me introverts go over things over and over again in their head until they go crazy with thinking too much. i'm in intovert so i get it. i think way too much, but it sounds like an interesting brain. just write it down, have a creative outlet or soemhting. dont go crazy with thoughts. i know what it feels like to be caught up in your head.

Sounds like you're thinking too much. It could be: A manic episode (Unless you've always been like this), it could be Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

IDK I wouldn't worry

Oh! If you don't think there are morals you might have Anti-Social Personality! That might make sense!

Hey, I think I've had the same experience as you before and it seems to me you're experiencing some kind of psychosis. The best thing to do is rationalize everything to why it really is the real world. I know it's hard but you have to keep the thought in your head that it really is reality. Also, you have to realize to yourself that whatever is in your head, first of all, might be true, but can't be proven at all. Second, you have to realize that all these things just make your emotions go haywire and that none of these things will actually affect you in real life if you don't want it to. They are all just thoughts, not reality.
The best way to think about things are is this what would really be the best task for you and other people? If you accomplish these tasks, where will that exactly leave you in the end? No where. Basically, you have to realize in a world where everything makes sense, you have to act in a way that would make sense; a way efficient for everybody, not just your own thoughts.

The right way to live is hard to figure out of course. I'll give you my philosophy on it, maybe it can help you get over it, because it helped me to overcome a similar situation.

The first thing is, efficiency is key. Think about it, all the things that are truly good in this world, is efficient. Happiness, for example, is efficient. If everybody was happy, there would be no problems, we could all get along, and we could work together to solve every existing problem we have and is therefore, efficient.

Keeping this efficiency in mind, what would be the best mindset to have? An optimistic one of course. Keeping optimistic allows you to not only get over your mistakes and problems, but allows you to learn from them and fix them as well. I always try to keep an optimistic mindset.

By empathy, I'm assuming that you mean compassion, although that's not the exact definition. But is that really a bad thing, not feeling compassion? People feel compassion when they see something going wrong and badly, but if you don't, that doesn't really mean much. Of course compassion can prevent you from murdering and whatnot, if you just realize that murdering is not what would be the best course of action, then you can get over it, even if you don't feel compassion. Again, efficiency at work. What would killing someone really solve?

I don't feel an overwhelming emotion of pity or compassion when I see something going wrong. That's not really efficient. I try to understand the situation from an objective point of view, so I have to separate myself from any emotion when thinking about any situation, even the "good" ones. So not feeling empathy isn't actually bad, it allows you to see things a lot clearer.

I like to look at the big picture, which I'm sure you're probably doing constantly, just with different topics. From doing this, I think I have really changed myself to care about other people. Now caring has that connotation of specific emotions you feel when you care about someone. Well, I really don't feel those emotions too much now. I care about people because it is the most efficient way of doing things and I feel happy about doing all this.

For example, lets say there was a situation where a murderer held one of my lifelong friends hostage and also a cancer researcher who had the cure but would be lost forever if he were killed. He says you get to choose which one lives and which one dies. Now, which one should I choose? This friend I've had all my life or the cancer researcher? Well, I'd have to go with the researcher, because it would be the most efficient. Now, some people might find this cold, to do this, but if I were in the same situation, I would understand exactly who would have to live and who would have to die. Take my life for survival of millions. If I thought with my emotions, all the good times we had together, everything we had together in life and I chose my friend, well, wouldn't that really just be selfish? How many lives does that affect now? Millions instead of 2. If you are truly understanding and have a truly understanding friend, this would be the decision you could both make together.

I'd really like to hear back from you so email me at j0shumz@gmail.com, maybe we can talk some more about this stuff.

yay exactly my thoughts

Um, to the person who wrote above, I do not think this is totally normal at all.

there are so many emotions to feel if you dont block them off with negativity or total faith etc. But agonizing grief, guilt, and pain are not some you may want to induce. Ending a life willingly is not an easy thing.

It's not normal. The moment you get thoughts trending to harm others is a signal that you need help.

NO. Wanting to kill people, and having no reason for it---IS NOT NORMAL. That is being the homocidal maniac, or some other kind of medical personality disorder. Please seek treatment, therapy. You clearly know that you need help or you would not have posted what you did. You know empathy exists, and you know you don't have any. Morals exist, and right and wrong exists. Without that, there would be no society. Just people going around killing people and thinking its ok.