Are You Normal?

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Am I normal for liking this girl?
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15 Comments

I should start by saying I'm not very experienced in relationships not having had very many of my own, but I would like to think I have good common sense. In other circumstances, friends in relationships oddly come to me for advice. Anyways... I met this girl at work, lets call her Jane. Jane is a 22 year old single mom with a pretty cute kid but an unfortunately crazy father (out of the picture). Jane and I became pretty good friends through work, flirting and tickling, and I started hanging out with her after work. At first just casually, but then she quit and in order for us to keep hanging out (which she wanted) things had to progress to something else.

And so I began to go over to her place to hangout and watch movies. Things went slowly, her being a single mom n' all I understood. My mother was also a single mom. I'm not going to lie, I did enjoy the role I had of maybe new dad. You might say I have somewhat of a hero complex, and we seemed to click; the way things were going made it seem like this could me a makeshift family.

To make a long story short, after seeing her for several months after a long friendship she inexplicably ended our relationship for someone else, quoting a lack of spark as the cause. I didn't see it coming at all and it really, really messed me up. We didn't speak for a long while after that, probably a year. And after feeling depressed and inadequate for a long while I'd like to think I moved on, more or less. I kept this annoying habit of looking to see if it was her red car driving by... Don't ask me, couldn't shake it.

Not too long ago we saw eachother, and after an awkward coffee she apologized for what happened but had no further explanation as to what exactly was the reason (beyond this other man and lack of "spark"). Her answer is literally "I don't know". It's pretty infuriating to have any sort of progression in conversation let alone a friendship after what's happened if that's the answer. Yet I consciously go back to see her. I like her and I don't know why I can't not like her. I feel like I'm in the exact same spot as last time, and I am incredibly anxious of the fact that things could end up just like they did before; with me incredibly hurt and her with someone else.

Deja Vu is what comes to mind a lot, but I have these feelings that I just can't shake and I don't know what to do! I almost want to try some sort of desperate Jerry Macguire but this is real life and I would definitely fuck that up.

If you've taken the time to read all this, you're a saint, and I really appreciate ANYTHING you have to say.
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Comments (15)
Go find someone else. Sorry to say but she doesn't want you. Sounds like it is her loss, especially being a single mom. You are going to make a good woman very happy soon
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You sound sweet. When that 'spark' she found with that other guys dies she'll be the sorry one. You go and find someone who sees as many sparks being with you as you do with them :)
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You have to move on. It's clear that she doesn't want you anymore. Sorry.
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I have done that to a guy before and it was because lack of a spark and thing he would do just to me so bad I just couldn't do it any more. It def came as a shock to him too and I felt bad about it. O guess I'm just trying to say she doesn't want to be with you and I can only imagine how hard that is to fathom you have to just move on.
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TheCrazyMan
Tell her how you feel
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As hard as it may be now, you just have to move on, I had a girl do this to me 10 years ago it hurt so bad, I thought I saw her car everywhere, wondered who she was dating, felt very out of control. BUT now that I look back I almost feel foolish about bring like that, and have grown up so much and realized she wasn't the girl even remotely for me now that I have matured and realized what I want out of life and a relationship
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problemchild
Get over her, you will find a better woman very soon.
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she runs off like that without any real reason and a friggin IDK? Wow, you can do better. U sound like a nice guy, go find someone who isnt so easily turned to someone else with her feelings about someone.
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find a woman who feels for you as you do for her. you seem like a great guy (not too many of those around), so don't deprive all those other great women of what you have to offer for someone who would do something like the abovesaid.
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My gut feeling is to tell you to move on, but reading your story I get the sense that you had (have?) a very special bond. Who knows why she did what she did? Maybe she just got cold feet and didn't know what to do. That doesn't make it OK to leave you with a lame excuse like that, but people aren't perfect and maybe she simply made a mistake.

Sometimes you should just swallow that pride and give it another go, it might leave you devastated if the shit hits the fan again, but if it goes well it could be the best decision of your life.
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I'm no expert on the subject but I don't think that you have a future with "Jane" relationship wise. Maybe you could ask her if you could still be friends? It sounds as though you had a good friendship before you tried to become more serious so maybe you can both salvage that? I'm sorry to hear about what happened but I am sure you will find someone that you "spark" with! Good luck and all the best :)
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Gotta move on. You need someone that's really going to appreciate you. Don't be her filler until she finds someone else. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but no one deserves those kinds of games.
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You cannot always assume that people know what they're doing. Sometimes women do stupid things too. I don't understand why she couldn't elaborate further her reasons.

But to cut the long story short, she just doesn't want you anymore and you just have to accept that. If it's of any consolation, you're not the only one who feels this way. Loads of others feel the same way too.
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Corb11
Show up at mid-night naked with whip cream on your nipples.
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darmin
Im sorry.
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