This maybe long-winded.
I'm at war with myself. You see there's this tiny part of me which can't help but feel that i'm unlucky in one way or another, and since this isn't the time to bawl out my particular problems you'll just have to trust me that I'm pretty far off being perfect so to speak. But then logic sets I think to myself; 'Stop being an asshole!'. For all the things wrong in my life I know I should be so grateful.. and sometimes I am! I find myself sitting like a retard by the window enjoying the breeze flowing in. I enjoy the sun, the moon and other gay shit like that.
But i digress, herein lies the problem. What a complete (seemingly illogical) contrast in emotions and thought process? Now I know people get down in the dumps but this feels more than that.
I want, most of all, to be right. Is it ok (given my position) to feel like I've been shafted even though thousands of people won't live past their 5th birthdays for example? I don't know about you but i think not, right? But on the flip side my circumstances can be seen as pretty shite when you pit them against others like me.
I don't know. Bollocks to opinions, I just want to be a good person.
IIN.
I'm at war with myself. You see there's this tiny part of me which can't help but feel that i'm unlucky in one way or another, and since this isn't the time to bawl out my particular problems you'll just have to trust me that I'm pretty far off being perfect so to speak. But then logic sets I think to myself; 'Stop being an asshole!'. For all the things wrong in my life I know I should be so grateful.. and sometimes I am! I find myself sitting like a retard by the window enjoying the breeze flowing in. I enjoy the sun, the moon and other gay shit like that.
But i digress, herein lies the problem. What a complete (seemingly illogical) contrast in emotions and thought process? Now I know people get down in the dumps but this feels more than that.
I want, most of all, to be right. Is it ok (given my position) to feel like I've been shafted even though thousands of people won't live past their 5th birthdays for example? I don't know about you but i think not, right? But on the flip side my circumstances can be seen as pretty shite when you pit them against others like me.
I don't know. Bollocks to opinions, I just want to be a good person.
IIN.
Talk through your problems as much as you need to, and if you find yourself revisiting things over and over without making any additional progress, then it's time to think about something else for a while. Don't get stuck in the trap of feeling guilty about not feeling grateful enough, though. There's nothing good there.
I hope that helps.
To me, life sucks and that's the end of it. I'm dragging my feet to almost anything I do, and it just seems like 1 fucking grind after another. Sure, my life ain't that bad, but that's still how I feel: The doctor tells me I'm dying tomorrow and I'd almost be ready to thank him gratefully for the news.
In the mean time, I do have decently happy moments. Forever floating in the winded farts which brings the shit a rolling down. lol
I used to complain all the time. I mean ALL the time. About everything. EVERYTHING. But then slowly, and surely, I began to look around me, and I realized that I was a very, VERY fortunate person.
I am grateful for life that I have, and the people in it. I try not to complain, but I still do, it's just human nature to wish things were even better than they already are.
So long as you remain appreciative of what you have, and not lose sight of it, then you're golden.
And yet, the need to move forward is equal to the need to appreciate life in the present. They are balancing forces.
Thoughtfulness of the past, never forgetting.
Appreciative of the current, never losing sight.
Longing for the future, never being afraid.
Yup, that's about it. ^_~