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Ass Hair
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To such a length that tiny grogans were constantly
getting tied up in the matted jungle between my
either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off
the lingering loaf (which required careful precision
to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear,
especially since I had no way of seeing what I was
doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope
that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter
before the toilet paper
This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't
I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans
will flow out like beer from a keg!" Such was my anal shaving idea. I performed the
operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor
and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and
shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the
arduous process of ridding my ass of hair.
Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of
accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, Slowly, my twin mounds and
the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless
cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor
one last time, and surveyed my work. My ass was smooth as
ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were
was only after I had removed it that I started to
learn how much I had been taking it for granted when I walked out into the sun heading for class.
After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to
sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The
sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing
the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding
past each other with every step. I thought about going
to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling
with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around
my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my
cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky
shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my
dorm, it started to itch
like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my
crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down
there and scratching away
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat,
and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were
sliding back and forth against each other like a pair
of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and
attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of
a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two
mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free
and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius
started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe
aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and
blew back into my face my ass cheeks
spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my
body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit
blowing right into my face
wiping my ass at every opportunitytwo pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the
result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down
between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
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Comments (7)
I don't know which is worse...The fact you took the time to write that crap, or the fact I read it.
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At the very least, this story provided my with 5 minutes of laughter, not so much for what you did, but because of your incredibly colorful expressions about your actions. Absurdly funny.
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this story is so fucking funny!! i Know how u feel shaving down there does suck and itches like a mother. I dont have ass hair because im a female but shaving crotch hair does suck. and i hate it but guys think its unattractive for a girl to have pubes. so i always shave a night before when i know im not doing anything the next day so it wont itch so freakin bad. the next couple of days are ok though
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can i have your autograph?
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That was the most hilarious **** I've read all week. Thanx for the laughs!
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Excellent piece of writing. Laughed my heart out. Sort of tricky at 2 in the mo.
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super extremely funny post. I can't remember when I laughed this much before.

thank you very much.
Keep writing.
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