Are You Normal?
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Bad Relationship or Overreacting?
I feel like sometimes I may be a little overreactive to things. I'm female, and we all know the stereotype for females in a relationship is to get worked up over the smallest and most insignificant thing. I've even chided myself before because I know that I've flipped out in past relationships over stupid things. But I feel like this time, I actually have reason. But I'm not sure if I do or not. Main question: Is it normal for me to feel this way about the situation I am about to lay out for you? And if it is, would my concerns for my relationship turning abusive be justified?
Situation: My boyfriend and I have been dating about 4 months now. Things moved fast early on, we went from meeting to chasing each other around to exclusively dating in about a week. At first, he seemed too good to be true. But he kept things from me. We would play flirty games together where we would ask each other questions and answer them. But he always had questions that he wouldn't answer. And they were the most peculiar questions; questions that seemed to be insignificant. Like what he does at work specifically (as in I would ask how his day went and he would *never* give me an answer), or I would ask him about his parents or his sibling and he would never give me any answer about that. I began to worry, as did my friends, but as I grew to knew him he opened up a little and I found out things as he accidentally let them slip in conversation. I have come to the conclusion that he was putting on some sort of mask to seem "mysterious" or whatever he thinks girls are into. I shunned it aside, since it was in the past and I did grow to love what I had found out about him. He stopped feeding me lame stories after a while and everything was fine. But then he started to get ... mean. He would tell me to "shut up" over the phone and literally mean it. He likes to be dominant. He's arrogant (I do not feel biased in saying this, he too admits it). He flirts with other girls behind my back and fails at covering it up. Either he doesn't care about covering it up or he really does a poor job at it. I don't really care about harmless flirting. But the fact that sometimes he flaunts it in my face shows a lack of respect. After 4 months of dating, he still is reluctant to give up information. He doesn't budge. I've confronted him and he throws it in my face. He tries to turn it around on me with the "do you not trust me" attitude. He has the realistic approach with life and even says things to me that are inconsiderate. Like "More than likely there's someone out there that's better for you than me and someone that's better for me than you." or he'll leave questions open ended and unanswered on subjects that he knows I care about. I guess my main worry is him being a control freak, in my opinion anyway. Whenever we get into an argument he states "I'm right and you're wrong, get used to it."
Situation: My boyfriend and I have been dating about 4 months now. Things moved fast early on, we went from meeting to chasing each other around to exclusively dating in about a week. At first, he seemed too good to be true. But he kept things from me. We would play flirty games together where we would ask each other questions and answer them. But he always had questions that he wouldn't answer. And they were the most peculiar questions; questions that seemed to be insignificant. Like what he does at work specifically (as in I would ask how his day went and he would *never* give me an answer), or I would ask him about his parents or his sibling and he would never give me any answer about that. I began to worry, as did my friends, but as I grew to knew him he opened up a little and I found out things as he accidentally let them slip in conversation. I have come to the conclusion that he was putting on some sort of mask to seem "mysterious" or whatever he thinks girls are into. I shunned it aside, since it was in the past and I did grow to love what I had found out about him. He stopped feeding me lame stories after a while and everything was fine. But then he started to get ... mean. He would tell me to "shut up" over the phone and literally mean it. He likes to be dominant. He's arrogant (I do not feel biased in saying this, he too admits it). He flirts with other girls behind my back and fails at covering it up. Either he doesn't care about covering it up or he really does a poor job at it. I don't really care about harmless flirting. But the fact that sometimes he flaunts it in my face shows a lack of respect. After 4 months of dating, he still is reluctant to give up information. He doesn't budge. I've confronted him and he throws it in my face. He tries to turn it around on me with the "do you not trust me" attitude. He has the realistic approach with life and even says things to me that are inconsiderate. Like "More than likely there's someone out there that's better for you than me and someone that's better for me than you." or he'll leave questions open ended and unanswered on subjects that he knows I care about. I guess my main worry is him being a control freak, in my opinion anyway. Whenever we get into an argument he states "I'm right and you're wrong, get used to it."
Do you think it's normal?
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I've dealt with my wife for the past 4 years and she is Bi-Polar, Somatization Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attack Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. So if ALL you have to put up with is bi-polar then you should have it easier than me, lol. Good luck and let us know how things turn out :)