Can a straight guy to have feelings for a mate?

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sounds like you are bi sexual. if that's what you are, that's what you are.

Now, the question is, should you act on your impulses? well, that's always a question to be answered with the phrase "it depends".

maybe you're just too close

Its normal, every guy has that exact same feeling for another guy at least one time in their life, if they say no they are lying. Either way he is probably just a really close friend to you and you love him in a friend way. That once in a lifetime feeling plus your friend love for him probably made this happen. You just said press against him and kiss that signals wanting to be closer, but not totally sexual. Dont worry, just go about your daily life and it should all pass. If it doesn't maybe by some chance you are denying you like him and you should really think about your sexuality

you can't kiss a guy and have it not be sexual

@poster

i think your gay

When you kiss your father, mother, daughter, or son is is sexual? NO so why a guy friend?

*it

I once punched my best friend in the nose for trying to kiss me. Kissing is gay, unless you're a girl kissing another girl. That's hot.

i agree

but that's also gay

No it isn't. Girls are supposed to hug and kiss each other. And lick and finger each other. Guys kissing each other is just gross and sick.

i get a hard-on when i kiss anyone. that's why i only kiss women.

Then you are the class example of the moronic idiots that slow down the growth of the human species. Your ignorance towards something is the same as every other media driven ego stretched male out there. If you had formed your own opinion on it rather than spit out that refuse of text I might consider arguing your point rather than classifying it as waste.

An idiot am I? Alright, let me elaborate on my statement then. The majority of males are aroused by two women kissing and repulsed by two men kissing. This is not because of the influence of media, but rather the other way around i.e the media portrays what people want to see. In other words, media is the effect and not the cause.

Your argument is based on flimsy logic anyway, as the exact same argument can be used for you. I can argue that you have been influenced by the media with all the homosexuality shown on TV and movies.

Now let me get back to my lesbian porn.

2 women can kiss each other and its normal not sexual a man and a woman can kiss and its normal and not sexual but if a man wants to kiss another man in 99.99999999999% of the cases your arse is the next stop

if warlord wants to "slow down the growth of the human species" then more power to him. You think the problem with the human world is that our population isn't growing fast enough?? lol

growth as in intellect. Sorry I may have over argued my point and not been clear enough

i got you. my misunderstanding

thanks for the advice and stuff, it helped lookin through it, the issue kinda half resolved itself now so, ahm, thanks!

Sexuality isn't black and white, unfortunately. Just because you're attracted to girls and have always been doesn't mean you can't some day meet a guy and figure out you want to be more than friends. You aren't the first person to have turned out like this, and it's nothing bad or wrong. After this point some people "turn" and start hitting for the other side... as for others it's just a one time thing and the feelings never come back for another person... and so on a lot of things can happen. I would suggest you not beat yourself up about it and just go with the flow.

If it would disturb you mentally in the future and you know it would, I suggest not acting on your feelings. It's esp. very difficult if your friend is a proclaimed straight guy. Acting on your feelings might scare him and destroy a good friendship. If you really can't be around him without having these thoughts, & you don't want to tell him how you feel, then I don't really see how the relationship can continue. It's up to you though. If you feel up to telling him, then you may, but look up stuff on the internet 1st and consider the consequences of the risks deeply beforehand.

i already did, and i didn't really think it through beforehand, and he just looked HORRIFIED and walked off without saying anythin. we haven't really talked since, but i'm kind of hopin if i don't mention it he'll forget, because i really miss him

i can somehow believe that.

You're friendship with him might resume but it's probably over or will never be the same unless he is gay too. It might hurt you, but in the long run it'll be ok either way.

BUT, you have to come to terms with the fact that you are gay and in love with another man. If you think about it, you should realize that you would probably marry this guy under the right circumstances.

That's right. Your as gay as either one of the cowboys in broke back mountain or maybe as gay as both of them put together. The point is, you have to come to terms with your gayness. Good luck to you.

you can be atracted to people of the same sex and not be gay.

but the fact that you want to kiss him and rub up against him (whatever that means) sounds like you have other feelings for him.
and maby your in denial or confuzed of your sexuality

most of these comments are just bullshit. Homophobic crap. canadian6969 is the only one I can see with any intelligence here.

At your age it's just a case of felling a bit romantic towards your friend. And there is nothing wrong with that. Your hormones are all over the place and it's easy to get your feelings confused.

I have a friend I have known for years. When we were kids we sleaped over each others place all the time. We saw each other naked all the time. But when we hit our teens I was so buzzed at getting pubes I wanted to share it with him so we had one of those. Show me yours and I'll show you mine moments.

Sure I got hard and he wanted to feel it. I let him and we broke up laughing. Then we did a bit of holding each others dicks. Nothing wrong with that it felt good. One time we were mesuring our dicks and I had this overwhelming feeling to hug him. We were naked and laying on my bed. We wrested around and got hard we rubbed our bodies together. It felt good. I think I had a crush on him but it didn't stop us from going out with girls.

I loved him and admitted it. We dated many girls together but ocationaly we got naked and held each other when he stayed over. It was our dirty secret. But it was not sexual as we never had sex or came together.

We got older and started having sex with girls and we didn't do that anymore. My feelings for him never went away. He was my best friend closer than anyone else. I live with a girl now and he is married with a kid. I still hug him and sometimes we have even kissed.

I feel like we shared something special growing up and he has admitted to me he wishes his son finds a friendship like we have. I asked him what if his son turned out to be gay and he said I don't care as long as he is happy.

Love doesn't just happen between men and women. There are many kinds of love.

The important thing is that you do love.

The question being asked is not whether it is OK to be gay. The question the poster is asking is whether he is gay AND whether he should act on his feelings.

The answer to whether he is gay is TRUE. You my friend are also gay. Heterosexual boys do not lie naked together in a bed squeezing each other's dicks. If you think your relationship with your friend is not at least partly sexual then you are lying to yourself. BIG TIME.

The fact that the other boy has recoiled in horror at our friends admission of his feelings CLEARLY ILLUSTRATES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING GAY AND BEING STRAIGHT. The straight boy does not want to have that type of physical contact with another boy. He is adverse to it.

Just because you yourself are gay doesn't mean everyone else is. Everyone is not like this. There is nothing wrong with the way you are or the way your friend is or the way the poster is or the way the other boy is. It is what it is.

but don't make the poster's gay impulses seem like a normal part of heterosexuality. it isn't.

that goes out to you too. I have had and do have close friends who were and are like brothers to me and whom I love,and I have never had the desire to rub against them, kiss them on the mouth or hold their dicks. I think most straight guys would truthfully tell you the same thing.

Don't project your own psychology on other people.

we were kids and grew out of it. how does that make me gay?

lol

there's nothing wrong with being gay. It's not an accusation.

you are wrong!

how can you be so sure of yourself?

I am saying being gay is a lifestyle choice being intimate with a man does not make you gay.

I am not gay I have never had sex with a guy, I don't have many gay friends, I don't go to gay clubs, I don't live a gay lifestyle.

You just want to put people in neat little boxes

"I don't have many gay friends, I don't go to gay clubs, I don't live a gay lifestyle."

my friend, you are the one putting people in a box. many many gay people do not do any of the things you list above.

let me ask you, though, how often do you masturbate to fantasies of having sex with another man? You don't have to answer that, but just think about the question and maybe it will be self revelatory for you.

and i disagree with your definition of gay. gay is not a life style choice or even a choice. it is an attraction to other men (or women).

Look, some of the people i admire most in life are queerer than plaid pants. for example, a great friend of mine, I'll call her lacy, is a money manager for a major firm, makes millions of dollars, she is loyal brilliant, couragous and a fabulous human being. she is also as butch as bullhorn.

another friend of mine is an accomplished, also brilliant, funny as hell, kind and generous guy who i feel lucky to even know. but he's gay as a three dollar bill. so what? for me, that aspect of their persons is not relevant.

I agree with PooLTOY. I think you're gay. Really gay. I'm also pretty sure that if deep down you weren't already half sure, you wouldn't have posted the story, I think that you just don't want to admit it to yourself.

I'm gay myself, and I'm not going to lie to you, you might lose some of your more conservative friends over it, but it the long run it'll be harder if you just keep denying it.

If you're really not sure, you should try experimenting with someone and see how you feel about it then, I'm sure you'll find someone willing to try something new with you

I'm sorry about your friend, maybe in a while it won't be as awkward and you can be friends again.

Ummmm gay 3 dollar bill?

being gay means identifying as such, ask your friends the difference.

very silly of you to try and convince me of that.
What are you trying to prove?
I am in a very happy stable relationship. Just because I admitted to doing something when I was 13 years old does not mean it defines me now.

I wasn't talking to you, idiot. I was talking to the poster.
Hence the fact I replied to his comment.
DUH.
You shouldn't be so defensive.
Makes it seem like you're hiding something :P

you have SO MANY issues, my friend. the main one being that you are not honest with yourself. very dangerous.

being gay means nothing more than having sexual feelings for people of the same sex. wanting to kiss them, rub against them and fondle their genitals are sexual feelings. they are not feelings of friendship or emotional closeness, although they can be related and intermixed with those feelings.

you never answered my question:How often do you masturbate to fantasies involving another man or men?

yes consider yourself very lucky. how many people find that out ever? the mates you still have you should keep for life.

good luck to you and I know you will eventually come to terms with your feelings.

you my friend are obsessed....
I have already said that I did these things when I was 13 and don't do them now.

ok, dude,if you say so, i accept that.

this is what I am talking about....
http://gaysurfreport.com/gay-teen-boy-2.htm#notgay

'straight guy'? RIIIIIIIIGHT. Fuck off you fag-ass queer boy.

I got news for you Mr. I am a gay and my dick has NEVER been in anyones ass, male or female. I want their COCKS not their arses! I think only a man can suck another man because only a man knows what it feels like to have his cock sucked. It therefore stands to reason, he'll employ the tactics that work best for him. It therefor follows he'll make a better job of it than a woman!
I SUCK COCKS because it is the sexiest thing you can do for another guy and I love the pleasure it gives them!

I'll be your mate. How old are you?

I'm 18

everybody t some point in their life questions their sexuality. the whole point of being a teen is to experiment so why not

That is the fu cking definton of TMI.

lol, nearly is the king of tmi.

what does it matter, if you feel love then all i can say is that love is blind, no matter age, race or sex.

Stop all contact with this friend until you sort your self out, or else you could loose a good mate.

You could be mistaking genuine affection for a good friend for sexual desires.

Yes sounds like your bi sexual if your sporting wood for your guy friends.

Shut the fuck up poolTOY. Just because you're a faggot doesn't mean that you have to put everyone else down because you want to feel like you're not the only person who's a stain on humanity. Oh, and if you think I'm callous, well I am; I was molested when I was younger by an older man, so I've got perspective on things. People are perfectly capable of being bisexual, and besides it's up to them who he likes and how he feels about them, not you. I'm tired of hearing all these homos saying you're gay this, you're gay that because they weren't able to bring to terms their own sexuality. Sexuality is a very difficult thing to explain, in fact, it almost can't be explained or defined. After all, Sigmund Freud said we're all born bisexual, because we're all capable of loving the same or opposite sex. Here's some food for thought...

Society believes that men are capable of marrying women, having sex with a women, having kids, and coming out of the closet to claim your gay.

A man who's accepted he's gay his whole life marries another man, adopts a child, comes-into-the-closet, and decides that he's really heterosexual. Would you believe him?

If you're not sure, why not mess around with someone a bit? Have some fun. And if you are gay, it's not a problem, my sister's a lesbian and she's great.

I had a boner once and I let a gay guy suck me off. I had to tell him not to make any noise and i had to shut my eyes or I couldn't blow my load. It kinda sucked so I doubt I'd ever bother again.

I'm going through exactly the same thing you are-- I''m like the straightest guy in the world and it's not like I like GUYS it's just that I have these feelings for this ONE GUY. And I still like girls-- so it's extremely f*cking confusing.

There are three choices as far as I'm concerned-- ignore the feelings and hope they go away; keep the feelings and hide them from your friend; express them and hope he feels the same. As for your sexuality, I don't think it qualifies as making you bisexual or homosexual or even straight for that matter-- just an individualist. You develop feelings for someone based on their inner individuality. Most often it's a girl, but sometimes a guy might come along that has all the qualities about girls you like. Don't worry about it and just go with what you feel.

sounds like your a very very slim bisexual. its ok but dont like force him or guilt trip him into doing stuff with you if he doesnt feel comfortable.

I wouldn't say it is too strange. It's pretty normal for people to feel like they like another person regardless of their sex. It also may be admiration to him. I can honestly say I'd kiss (by the cheek) Michael J. Fox and hug him real hard. I also had the same feeling for a male friend once. I can also say that I'm completely straight. I'd have intercourse with women and will only have a romantic relationship with women. I'm no way bisexual. I don't like men the way I do with women. I like almost every women that looks cute and feel sexually attracted to them. For men, they are just men. Hang out and all and it just feels gross to think about kissing any guy on the street oppose to a girl.

tbh, I've been becoming a lot less attracted to girls recently and more to guys, and I don't know if it's because I'm thinkin about it so much or what, but I've met someone I like that I actually have a chance with, so it's all good now :) thank you for all the advice and stuff from everyone ^_^

Thats sexist WarLord, why is it different for guys and gals?

Look hunny, your not gay but could it be possible your a bi sexual? But just because your kind of attracted to your friend, it doesn't make you gay or bi sexual.

Hun just go along with life, what happens is what happens.

AML Shannonx

What an excellent comment. I have had the same man friend for twenty years. He and I share my wife. She loves it. We both treat her like a goddess. Watching the bi sex makes her so horny it takes two men to satisfy her. I've never benn with any other man. Before I met my wife I was with fifty women. This one man is just sooo special. Homaphobes go away.

um na i feel the same about girls sometimes

You're unknowingly bi-courius

I think it's natural to think like that. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be even closer to an already close friend. Also, its common for boys to feel love for one another though they may be straight. Of course, few if any of them would ever admit it, it does happen.

I wonder if your friend feels the same way.

...Do yourself an enormous favor: DO NOT SELF-LABEL. People are attracted to others for myriads of reasons. The fact that this male friend alone provokes these thoughts leads me to believe that your feelings aren't "bi-curious" at all.

So sorry to that man. I know how you feel I had the same happen to me in a very small country town.

But now im older I have learnt who is and who isnt my friend and have made the best mates ever who except me for me. Dont worry about it too much, just deal with it. If your family doesnt like it than tell than to get over it. You are who you are and DONT change thatEVER,

Thats what makes us different to every1 else.
Goodluck kiddo

I am going to go with what War Lord said. As for that being sexist, maybe but you have to admit two chicks kissing is hot. As for the comment, some one said about every guy has one gay thought, keep telling yourself that. That does make you gay, not a bad person, but gay. If you ask me, keep it to yourself if you value the guys friend ship, I had this friend who was a girl, knew each other our whole life. Lost contact with her for a few years, saw her again, and she was hot, but I would never risk our friendship over it. Sort of the same thing I suppose, the whole friendship, sex attraction thing.

I think it's perfectly normal. I don't know why it's always a double standard that it's normal between two females but never between two males. Sexuality isn't black and white, people.

OKK. dude. get a grip. you're developing a man-crush or sth.

what you need is what they call a "Girlfriend"

these awesome "Girlfriends" meet all kinds of needs. You'll find them to be time consuming as well. That will definitely bring you back on track.

eventually.. you'll be chilling with your buddy.. beer.. talking abt hot girls.. and everythings gonna be just fine.

btw... don't kiss the poor dude. its worse than backstabbing him.

Well, it is normal to get like that. A lot of people do. It could possibly be a phase that you're going through. A lot of people go through that. It's normal. And it usually goes away. It's cool to experiment with sexuality, so you know. But if you're straight and you're having feelings like that, could it possibly be that you're bisexual? I'm just asking. Do I think it's normal? Yes, I do.

that's BS, not every guy has that in their lifetime. But you can't really say that you're "Straight" now can you?

im with warlord, i got thrown out of a straight club the other day cos i told the fags next to me to stop kissing and fuck off outside, apparently i aint allowed to say that,
bollocks i dont like it, so why should i be subjected to it, if ya wana be a fag do it away from me. and i aint got a prob.
i dont force them to watch me get with girls, they choose to go to a straight club in the same way i choose not to go to gay bars.

power to u man

Ha. Funny. Because I think two guys kissing is one of the hottest things ever. I'm a chick, so maybe it's the same as guys finding two girls kissing. Although I find that pretty hot, too.

I don't get why people freak out so much about bisexuality and homosexuality. It's such a normal thing, really, and I can (very much so) believe that most guys have been curious/thought about/dreamt about doing stuff with another guy. It's called human nature, people, subconcious slips through eventually.

Once again, Kinsey Scale. A majority of the population is actually bisexual with either a preference for once sex over the other or they claim 'straight' and bury their 'abnormal' feelings. It's really not a big deal.

Also, for the original poster:

I think it's adorable. Don't let people say you're a freak, or that you're 'gay' for having these feelings. You're not. Bisexual like most of the population? Maybe, but you obviously prefer females. I wouldn't let anyone make up your mind for you, if there's a possibility your friend feels the same I'd let it grow from there. Chill, sit back, and let the tide take you where ever. If you jump ship too soon you may miss out on something great.

Good luck to you!

nope never

That is just so unbelievably crass & stupid - god - what are you guys? The missing links?

Poster: they are just feelings so don't get too upset about it.

U could be a closet homosexual...nothing wrong with it...if ur gay then ur gay..u gotta deal with ppl calling u gay and queer etc. oh well, congrats

I went through a stage where i though i was bi, but i wasnt,
although now im starting to have feelings for my friends... i know, it is a bit weird but us two flirt all the time, usually as a joke, but sometimes it makes me feel good... >< i know exactly what ur feeling