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Can't stop thinking about her.
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I should be in bed, but I can't sleep because I'm thinking about someone. I powered up the computer and crawled out from under my duvet after an hour of lying in the dark not knowing precisely what I feel. There's a girl, or was a girl. There is a girl, somewhere, bothering me. Miles away from me now. About 60 maybe. I never bothered to compare the distance on a map. She has the most perfect smile. It fills me with warmth. She makes me angry and she makes me sad and she makes me numb and she makes me happy. All at the same time. I'm so glad that I met her. I'm so glad that I've known her. I'm not so glad that we don't talk anymore, or that she feels so guilty around me that we probably won't ever meet again. She has a boyfriend, and I have a girlfriend. I love my girlfriend and I know that she loves her boyfriend, it's just that when we were together there was something there.

I felt it anyway. I don't know if she really did, or does, or ever could. Something that made me want to be so close to her. Something that made me want to hold her and squeeze her tight. Something that made me want to kiss her. Passionately. Fiercely. God did I want to kiss her. I have this knowing, so much more than a feeling, an absolute assurance that if her and I were ever together it would be f**king amazing. Mindblowing. I have so much inside that I want to give to her. I've never wanted to give that much to anyone. It's scary. I want her to be happy and I want to be the person that makes her happy but it seems that I can't. I almost thought that she wanted to kiss me too. I mean, she told me that's what she was thinking when I asked her what was on her mind. When I asked her to answer honestly. Truthfully. She wanted to kiss me and I wanted to kiss her. I tried to kiss her. She backed away. I tried to get on with things and act as though it was fine and I was stupid and I understood and everything was alright and I was temporarily insane and an idiot for attempting it. In truth a huge part of me immediately fell away like some sort of antarctic chasm caving in.

To get to that point, to push my brain, to pump myself up, to send enough signals through my body to get myself to even attempt something like that with her, with the love that I feel for my girlfriend, and the knowing that she had a boyfriend, and then to have it rejected was perhaps the worst few seconds that my insides have ever had to deal with. Everything was twisted in a knot and it still kind of is. She hasn't talked to me for two months. I haven't talked to her. I would never have dreamed of attempting this with anyone else. I feel so strongly towards her. Still. If I look at a picture of her I don't go to sleep at night. I bang my head on the wall and will myself to get her out of my mind so that I can think of my girl. I think of her at stupid moments. I recognise her facial expressions in other people. I miss her. I haven't attempted to contact her. I don't want to mess things up for her.
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Comments (28)
I thought i was the only guy out thier who felt this way... i guess not. its nice to know that theirs other out there. I read your story dude, I never believed in love till she came along too.
I know the answer to the situation its just i cant even bring myself to do what i know is right. Its that parelyzing fear of loosing the everything you look for am i right?
the way i see it, its all about timing. If You want this perfect girl, well its all about perfect timing. dont make any sudden movements that could throw it off balance. Stand steady and go with the flow, one day you might buck up the courage to get in contact with her, or she might come back to see you. who knows?
What will be will be, remain open to possibilities, a girl just like her may just come along and fill those spaces
Let me tell you something also, connection? you felt connection, well it takes two to connect? think about that for a while
When the times right, you'll know. The reason why you don't contact her is because its not the right time... your just waiting for that perfect moment, so i am dude.
I would wait for infinity if i have to, and remain true to my word. If you love her with every part of your being.. i can personally guarantee you it'll work out in the end. Just be patient, and believe.
I never belied in love, until I felt it for myself. if seeing is believing, then its true to say believing is seeing. think about that for a while also.
if you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect the girl to believe in you too?
peace
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thinking about this other girl will only poison your mind and you will lose feelings for your girlfriend. Instead you must think about your girlfriend and how much you love her and ask yourself, why do i love my girlfriend? and what the difference between this girl and my girlfriend?
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@: Busta
That is beautiful.. and as you know, you're immensely lucky to have experienced that.

Had I seen this post two years ago I would have said you love this mysterious girl, just follow your heart.

Had you asked this recently, I would have said the same. Life is too long to be spent wondering if someone else could have made your world more than it is now. You may hurt yourself and you may hurt others, but by being honest with yourself you will keep both your own life and the lives of people around you open to real love.
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tell your girlfriend then, get dumped and then go after your dream girl.
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Look i completely understand and i can really relate to this story. all the people who are saying, and i quote "Indeed, this person is a dumbass. I hate them already" can go f**k them selves, i am in a very similar osition and it is f**king scary how simular it is, but i think that you should just let this girl know cause your only going to live once. im not saying that what your doing with your girl friend is a good thing. and if you like this other girl more then you have to come clean with your girlfriend first, *forgive my clieche here *but life is too short* and it is if you dont say how you feel you will regret it so get out there and say it. :D
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I don't see that you should hate me merely because I feel for someone else. I've known this girl much longer than I have known my current girlfriend. We only have partners of our own because we've never had a chance between breakups and hookups to both be single together at the same time. I wish we could have.
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a very long time ago i fell for a girl. we went out then i broke it off like a moron to this day i dont know why id rather screw around with other people at the time i was young and stupid. that was 3 years ago i havent stopped thinkin bout her since. its life crippling. its too late for me to repair mine ill have to live with it. but take it from someone who has the same feelings still. they dont allways go away. dont lose contact with her because youll kick yourself in the ass for the rest of your life.
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Aww chase the girl silly. Walk all that 60 miles for her if you love her. Chances are you 2 will end up together somehow. good luck and Peace out!
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Aw, isn't that a nice thought from bouncexmysoul. No offense bounceywhatchadoodle but don't tell the kid he has good chances of ending up with this girl. Chances are he won't. Let's also tell him that gumdrops grow on trees and wipe and powder his ass after he shits. Sure there's a chance but to whoever posted this don't get your hopes too high 'cause it could be a long way to fall.
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Obviously if you're thinking about this other girl all the time, you aren't gonna be very productive in your current relationship with your girlfriend. If I were you I would either try to get over her or break it off with your girlfriend and see if the other girl is interested.. BUT she is dating someone so consider that too.
If you don't try you might end up regretting it. Good luck!
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if the forces of nature wanted you too to be together then you would have been together already. maybe there is a reason why you too always have someone and cant be with each other
maybe its not meant to be? did you think about that?
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Well...
I think that there actually is a chance for these two to be together. If it's meant to be that is.
Think about this. What if the reason you two have never been able to get together as a couple is because it's just not time for that yet, so fate won't allow it? And think about this also... Say the two of you DO end up dating someday. Now think back to when she refused to kiss you. What if that incident came up while the two of you were dating in the future? If she would have kissed you would she have not cheated on her boyfriend?? Mmmmmhmmm.
Just give love and life time, and everything will fall into place somehow I'm sure. Good luck either way.
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I know how you feel i have only known this girl for a few days and i aint seen her since but i cant stop thinking about her then the next day after i meet her i lost my appertite iv feelt mood felt like crying, smiling just felt really emotional. I cant sleep properly i just havent been able to put my finger on it untill i thought about her and an instant smile came to my face then i thought i might be love sick but was not sure and i have all the ways that you would feel if i was so it turns out i am an it sucks man i wanna tell her how i feel i wanna be arond her constantly and im scared i might scare her away so .... i dont know....
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go for it my friend you'll regret it if you dont and you wont mess anything up for her because its her choice to act if you contact her
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if you have a girl friend why even try to kiss this girl are you a cheater?if you love your girl friend then get this other girl out of your head you dont belong thinking or talking to another girl. what kind of a man are you?
just stuff to think about
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ur evil
i feel horrible for your girlfriend
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Awwwwww omg. You are soo sweet. Like the comment a few spaces above, GO GET UR DREAM GIRL!! ^__^ Even tho u love ur g/f you want to be happy and have her tight in ur arms and you just want her. I kno this feeling trust me ;] but really go get her. Be4 when i almost broke up wit my b/f, he told me exactly how u are saying. Cept WAY WAY behyond this. You have dreams of her don't you? Its okay. Write how u feel {in poem form} and give it to her. Shit kick that other dudes ass. Show her how badly u feel bout her!!!
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I think you should stay with your girlfriend because i'm am sure thats how you felt about her the first time you met her.
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This is happening to me. With the exception that neither of us have a patner, live pretty close, and still maintain a connection. I met her early in my life, I know her pretty well, as she knows me. We are good friends and trust each other, actually, she is the only person I fully trust aside from my own mother.

I've always been very respectful towards her; I even use words I normally don't use when I'm around her. We connect at some level. I've had this feeling for so long, ever since I first got to know her. However, I don't know if she feels the same way. It scares me to ask. I wish I could hold her hands forever.

Wilfre -PR
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man tihs is almost the same way i feel ive known a girl since i have started school (im in eigth grade now)and i had no feelings for her didnt realy talk to her that much and then never talked to her again untill today im a member of a fire dept. explorer post and we did a fund raiser. i was with a friend there that is much older than me when he said his family would help. i didnt know that this girl was his little sister. so i was suprised to actulay meet her again since she had been homeschooled since the 6th grade. so... i was just automaticly attracted to her in ways i cannot explaine. i cant stop thinking about her. and it seems to me that she was attracted to me as well but it was hard to tell. and one so of the other post members just plainly said just ask her out. i have only had a bout three girlfriends and am not sure if i should i mean im not the most attractive guy, im not the most charming, when im nurvouse or confused i stammer and stutter. but i have two things going for me my my extreme athleticism and my previouse deal with knowing her. im feel like my stomach is be crushed but my heart feals like it is going to thrust from my chest in excitement i dont know what to do. i would like to have an honest opinion and if you dont have anything to say please dont say it at all. oh yes and she is a highly devoute christian im am the kind of person that will defened him and want to be close to him but just cant seem to get to him and i dont know if that will mess with me. im thinking of going back to church should i just ask what church she goes to and then say i have been meening to go back to church and use that to ee her more. please tell me i feel like im going to rip my heart put if i cant get this out of my mind i cant stoop thinking about her. i know it may seen odd but it feels liek this is the girl im going to marry so please give me some advice
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@: qjones
i also dont have a partner and dont believe she has one iether im know im stressing this too much but my heart feals like it is going to fly away
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Only got 4 hours of sleep, i cant stop thinking about her... Woke up twice already
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Well this happened to me i gave 100% of my time and love to my girlfriend and still do for around 6 years now I love her no doubt about that I without thinking do everything for her ,but one afternoon I did mean another girl i wasnt out to, at all , it was completely unexpected this was about 2 years ago the spark was undeniable I am not a people person we talked for hours , i wanted to meet her friends , her family , be with her , this was crazy , but I just couldn't leave my partner on a what if , to this day I think about her i wonder how she is, what shes doing, is she happy , and part of me wishes i could of took the gamble back then and maybe i would be happier right now, but the time effort love and hours that go into building a 6 year relationship and life with someone. would take some serious stones to bail on if your not actually unhappy ! for a single meet with another beautiful amazing funny girl.

Temptation is natural , we are human and also animals , and despite the modern way of life we are probably not meant to be with one person.

I didn't act on this back then it and i feel like a coward and I feel bad as this other girl deserved me to take a chance and be with her.

I have since tried to pluck up the courage to do this again and by do this I mean risk all and be with this other girl and even told my GF about Holly I told her I met her two years ago and still have feelings for her but made my choice back then to stay with her. (This was my attempt at the cowards way out and was sure this would be the end ) but alas I am not dumped and unintentionally and cowardly hurt potentially the one for me. I rang holly ( the other girl ) the next day i truly thought i was dumped we had arranged to meet I had an overwhelming feeling of ' at last '... its about time all be it I had had a few bottles of dutch courage, but no i got her hopes up , and cowardly ran back to my 6 year route-en once I found out all wasn't ruined and the beer had worn off....

My advise would be if you can stomach it , if your're willing to go all in , then do it , my heart has a hole in it , and all because i was to scared of change.

It this cruel to my girlfriend , I suppose it is but can i help it , not for one second but she does get my 100% devotion and effort now the decision has been made. and we do life a happy enough life.

Nobody wants to be alone , timing is everything there was years where i was single and would of jumped at the chance with holly , but long term relationships change things.

I will stop my babble because I am 100% aware that i should of at least met her that next day and seen how things were instead of wondering all this time. ... fking idiot.
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zzzzzz
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what a f u cking long story
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I think..you ahould publish a novel and not write it on here...ok..its not oprah
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My life f**king story!!! Been there and still there!!!
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This story is ass. It's an incoherent pile of vomited shit. I have no idea what you are trying to say.
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