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Can't Stop Wiping Myself after Bathroom
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29 Comments

After using the bathroom, I don't know at what point to stop wiping myself. As much as I wipe (even with dampening the toilet paper) there is always something left on the paper. I am so grossed out by the idea of not being 100%% clean that I will usually will take a shower after using the bathroom.
Is this normal??? How do other people manage to stay clean?
I happen to be male, if it makes a difference.
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Comments (29)
I am not sure why people are telling you its nasty. What is nasty is walking around with a shitty asshole. In Europe they have bidets so they can get their asses nice and clean. The concept of wiping your ass with dry toilet paper and thinking you're going to be clean is ridiculous. Showering is the best way to have a clean ass but the wipes are a good second best. I don't use wipes but what I do is wet some toilet paper and soap it up with liquid soap and clean the asshole inside and out with a soapy one then one just wet with no soap. Alternating until there is no shit on the paper. Then I dry the asshole. Its great to have a clean asshole and asscrack, don't let anyone tell you that you're not normal.
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Ollieo
I agree & the poster is normal & hygienic for wanting to be clean.
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i know, i hav the same problem dude, my parents are always mad at me 4 usin too much toilet paper
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I can never get a proper clean either. I hate it. Now I actually only poo once a day and do it right before I shower, so I can get a proper clean :-D
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Anonymous
I'm a girl, and back when I ate meat, I found my ass hard to wipe. Baby wipes are a good idea, but don't flush too many at once! It will clog the pipes. Also, make sure they biodegrade. Since I turned veggie, no probs. Although sometimes it looks more like compost than crap =op
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Now they make Charmin freshmates. They're septic safe. http://www.charmin.com/en_us/pages/charmin-ultra-strong.shtml
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You're not wiping hard enough, or with the proper system.

Go from the middle and make sure the hole is clear. Then wipe around the vicinity until you see nothing else. Make sure to apply moderate pressure throughout.



There's nothing wrong with showering.
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That's normal. I do that all the time My reason is because I don't want my ass to stink like shit when me and my girlfriend are getting it on. If I can't get all the fecal matter off with toilet paper, I use a wet rag. Works every time.
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@: Bisjac
put a peg on her nose tell her to shut her whingeing trap get her mate round do dib dib dib and if she gets the dick, take the peg off her, and give it to her mate, shitty arse
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o.o well least im not alone it sucks x.x and um i do take a shower---is worth it to me i like to be clean not dirty smell like cr@p all day no thanx
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I used to have this problem all the time untill I made an effort to eat more fibre. You want to build up to about 25g a day. One piece of wholemeal bread has got 3.2g. After a about 2 weeks of this I was pooing at 5pm every day and actually did a ghost poo 2 days on the trot. But I have noticed since then that even while on a high fibre diet, if I eat a shit load of chocolate I'll do a sticky poo any way.

PS
A ghost poo is where, not only is there nothing on the paper after wiping but the poo comes out in such a perfect, solid, single piece and at such a healthy speed that it goes round the S bend all by it self. There is no evidence it ever happened. But it did, didn't it?... Spooky!
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i think whats happening is that you are wiping soo hard you are going up your ass hole and touching poop that didnt come out yet. wipe soft and use hypoallergenic baby wipes they are 97 cents at walmart for a box
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This is definitely OCD related. You might want to see a therapist. I mean really....Seriously! You might turn into another Howard Hughes if you let this go on.
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Not necessarily! I think its due to the consistency of the poop-sometimes it just doesn't want to wipe clean. In fact, that is the case for me most of the time. If I let it go and try to just give up and walk away, my ass itches like crazy. It's not OCD-there is SHIT UP MY ASS.

My solution (gross) is to stick a wad of toilet paper up my butt and walk away to prevent the poop from spreading outward and making me itch. Then I come back to the bathroom 20+ minutes later, take the toilet paper out and wipe one more time. Clean.
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I only stick the wad of TP up my butt after wiping about a million times first. it's just to plug up that "last bit"
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Moi
Get yourself some personal/baby wet-wipes.
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Anonymous
its normal to want to be clean as someone wlse said get sum wipes
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I always liked the term 'bath tissue.' Sure sounds better than it's job.
Invest in some sandpaper my good man, and use accordingly.
(Grabs you by shirt, shakes you, and slaps your cheek repeatedly. Not the one you're thinking.) You're a MALE. You must adhere to male code, instructed as follows:
1. Flatulence is hysterical.
2. Breasts are GOOOOOOOOOD.
3. Fecal flinging is the king of the unorganized sports.
4. PMS is only called that because Mad Cow disease was taken.
5. Flatulance is hysterical.
6. The world is your urinal.
7. In ancient times, men were worshipped. Never forget this.
8. Flatulence is hysterical.

We justify the act of nondisgust at fecal matter, and more importantly the act of it becoming airborne with a prearranged terget, with this simple, wise, all-purpose reason handed down through the generations.
'Monkeys do it.'
Just bear these simple rules in mind at all times or we will have no choice but to have your genitals revoked. Peace.
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I think that pushing forward may be onto something
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Of course it matters that you're male. You can't expect to have a clean floor if it there is wall-to-wall. Get a bidet in your home so you can shampoo that hairy hole each time, my friend! Floats dirt and stain -
Right down the drain!
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Or have a kid. After the first two years, you'll be totally immune to poo!
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what a weird subject. I would feel that way sometimes. What I wound up doing is taking three sheets of tp and folding them so they were one square large, than fold THAT over once. I'd take a second three sheets and repeat that. The first sheet, I would wet and RUN OVER a wet bar of soap so it was now soapy. I would place that on the dry sheets and quickly wipe myself. I would do this twice or until the paper was clean. Then I'd use a three sheet setup, only making it simply wet, w/o soap to rinse, then use dry paper. It uses less paper than it sounds like. But even if it used a bit more, so what? The point is to be clean, not to save money on toilet paper.
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Maybe try Activia so you're regular (it really does work). If you're constipated or not going fully there might be some stuff left behind or poking out.

Also, you could try pushing lightly on the area before your asshole but behind your balls...if there's any poo hanging out you will be pressing behind it and it will move its way out lol.

But wet wipes are cool too :).
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OK, I have had this same problem. And the toilet paper just exasserbates the problem because it breaks apart and leaves bits of tp all over my ass. This is especially the case at work, because they buy the cheap costco tp. So what I do is moisten a sheet of paper towel(the tp would disintegrate if you used it) and wipe with that, then pat dry with another sheet of paper towel. I used to have a japanese toilet seat that we hooked up to the water line into the toilet and electrical as well. The seat stayed warm and when you pressed a little button on the side of it, a tube would come from the back of the seat and would direct a stream of magical warm water right on my ass. It had 3 pressure setting and even had a setting for women to clean their vag (the tube would move a little farther out). I have been thinking of a way to get that back from my ex because a new one is about $1500. I feel for you brother!
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I am glad I'm not the only one. I have had this problem my whole life. Call me crazy, but I think our "systems" might not be shaped to adequately expel every last bit of "stuff". (?)

It's so perplexing. For me, one poo out of 10 is an easy wipe. (Like... there's practically nothing on the paper at all). but usually ... yeah ... I could wipe all day. ... so annoying.

I don't think this problem is exactly "normal" ... I have had a few girlfriends who were ... pretty spotless "up there". (I digress ... I guess I was lucky to have the experience...)

I will shock some people, but I, personally have tried a little shot of water. (yeah .. like a small enema) .. to "free up" the "remainders". (How's THAT for abnormal?!)

..and ... it works ... extremely well. Of course you'll have to warm up to the idea.. and if you get up the nerve, you'll have to experiment... I use a little plastic water bottle with a squeeze tip. (more gasps from the audience I hear...) Just a couple of ounces does the trick. .. immediately.

I have heard that some municipal water supplies are bad for such endeavors. (Did I hear L.A.?... ) but I use ours and I have never had a problem. (over 8 years .. maybe twice a week...)

Best of luck.
~S
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It's actually because you have a wetter poo (lol), so it could be because you eat too much oil/watery stuff.
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I changed my attitude towards it because of my boyfriend. if he likes anal stimulation and actually to my mind it ain't just for gay men .. why not? and you know, i like it!
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ALL OF YOU ARE THE MOST FUCKED UP PEOPLE I HAVE EVER HEARD FROM. IT'S WIPING YOU ASS. DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE FULLY CLEAN AFTER TAKING A SHIT. WANT TO STAY CLEAN, SHIT IN A BAG AND AVOID THE WIPING ALL TOGETHER. THE OPTIONS AND IDEAS THAT I HAVE READ HEAR MAKES ME REALIZE THAT 1. YOU GUYS HAVE WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS TO OFFER SUCH RIDICULOUS ADVICE AND 2. THAT YOU ARE ALL FUCKED. STOP BEING A FUCKING LOSER AND DEAL WITH IT.
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not normal... nasty...
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