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Constantly arguing with parents
I'm 18, have just left school and am in that awkward stage before university. i want to live away from my parents because i am sick of them constantly judging and scrutinising everything i do, but i don't have the money to move out..especially as i can only find part time work at the moment.
recently everytime i try and talk to my parents it turns into a massive argument...about anything and everything.. usually it revolves around the house being messy...which is blamed on me (despite the fact that i have a younger sister who makes an equal amount of mess).
then it topic veers off into why im not working full time and bringing in an income..but the thing is, while im living at home i dont really need all that much money..they are obsessed with me getting a job and i just dont need or want one..i'll be going to university in 3 months and i'll have to quit any job i get then anyway..
they seem to have a big problem with the doing nothing all day around the house too...the thing is, im on f**king holiday and if i want to sit around and do nothing all day then i bloody well will...ive just sat my A-levels and i think i deserve a rest!
they do not see it this way.
the thing is... we have these arguments on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times a day, and nothing ever changes...we just go back to the way things were..just with more tension..
eventually dad threatens to kick me out of the house...i call his bluff and he backs down...the thing is i know that these arguments are way to petty to justify me being kicked out..im totally safe.
but now ive realised that my parents don't really control me any more, its like there are no limits..i can do or say anything.
and this depresses me..its actually got to the point where i begin to pity my parents ineptitude during these arguments...its like they have lost their passion for fighting...
recently everytime i try and talk to my parents it turns into a massive argument...about anything and everything.. usually it revolves around the house being messy...which is blamed on me (despite the fact that i have a younger sister who makes an equal amount of mess).
then it topic veers off into why im not working full time and bringing in an income..but the thing is, while im living at home i dont really need all that much money..they are obsessed with me getting a job and i just dont need or want one..i'll be going to university in 3 months and i'll have to quit any job i get then anyway..
they seem to have a big problem with the doing nothing all day around the house too...the thing is, im on f**king holiday and if i want to sit around and do nothing all day then i bloody well will...ive just sat my A-levels and i think i deserve a rest!
they do not see it this way.
the thing is... we have these arguments on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times a day, and nothing ever changes...we just go back to the way things were..just with more tension..
eventually dad threatens to kick me out of the house...i call his bluff and he backs down...the thing is i know that these arguments are way to petty to justify me being kicked out..im totally safe.
but now ive realised that my parents don't really control me any more, its like there are no limits..i can do or say anything.
and this depresses me..its actually got to the point where i begin to pity my parents ineptitude during these arguments...its like they have lost their passion for fighting...
Do you think it's normal?
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so in the end i win the argument...but am left in the exact same position, so really there are no winners. everyone is just really wound up and angry with each other!
it is important to mention at this point that the arguments were no where near as frequent as when i was in school...one of my theories about the cause of this is that all day i am devoid of human interaction...as usually meeting with friends are nightime or evening things like parties, bbq's, going to the pub ect.. with stuff happening pretty much every night..noone wants to do anything during the day (plus many of my mates work).
so when my parents come home from work i go over to talk to them and their negative response triggers an argument.
i'd really like to move out to be honest..and if i could afford to then i would, but unfortunately this is not an option.
should i just avoid talking to my parents from now on?...(this will be difficult because just now as im typing this mum has come through the door and i have a big urge to go and talk to her...despite what happened just 30 mins ago with dad!)
me and my parents do get on most of the time..or used to anyway, but recently i feel like they have nothing but criticism for me any anything i do isnt good enough...it honestly feels like they are deliberately starting conflict.
is this normal!?
whatever, anyway ive just stopped talking to them..i'll be at uni in a few months anyway.
I recommend getting some work for the 3 months before you go to uni - it will pacify and please your folks, and you'll have some extra cash for uni which - trust me - you'll appreciate. Also, that work experience will be useful to you and you might find it more enjoyable than you think.
If you don't choose to get work, then at least help out more about the house - your relationship with your parents is very important and you'll regret any bad blood in the future. It doesn't require much effort on your part, plus you'll be preparing yourself for life at uni, where those chores will be your own to bear.
Good luck, hope you sort things out.