Cuddling -- do I want too much?

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So he's not the cuddlely type, don't smother him.

I have heard from numerous sources that a woman needs at least 12 meaningful touches a day. Cuddling certainly is one of those meaningful touches. I am male / married and my wife has told me that my hugs and cuddling to her sometimes are better than sex. I also like hugs and especially cuddling.

We have a similar situation with cuddling whilst going to sleep. Although I am not a light sleeper I also cannot "fall asleep" in the cuddling position, although she would like this to happen. We usually cuddle in bed for a few minutes before I turn over to go to sleep; this usually works. Perhaps you might want to head to bed about 15 minutes earlier than usual and allow this time for cuddling.

You might want to find a book regarding the affectionate needs of a woman; I would not have known about the need for 12 meaningful touches if I had not heard / read about it. Guys sometimes need to be educated to the needs of a woman; usually guys just assume that both needs are identical and that is usually not the case.

Its not always easy to answer a question like this from a brief story when you don't know what's really behind it. Before I got here you already had two comments that took either end of the range of possibilities. I'll take the middle.

Sometimes people feel needy because they have low self-esteem, and want their lovers to fill them up with sex or cuddles. But on the other hand sometimes people are too insensitive about their lovers natural need for closeness and security.

If you find that no matter how much he gives you want more, or if you always find yourself interpreting his actions, such as hugging the pillow instead of you, or not giving what you've clearly hinted you want, then you may be too needy. These are signs that more than just wanting more cuddling that he wants, you just want and want like a bottomless pit.

On the other hand, if you've had good relationships before and have never found this sense of want to be a problem. If you just want something that you are satasfied when you get, then maybe its him.

Some guys like to cuddle more than others. Some girls think their guys longing for togetherness is too needy and clingy.

i am a woman who also feels the way you do. touch is so important. some people were reared without it growing up and therefore feel uncomfortable with it. my boyfriend is that way. i feel deprived a lot. he has warmed up some over the years because i just keep giving him quick hugs or kisses in an attempt to try to get him to be more cuddly. it works OK, but there is still not enough touching and cuddling for me. my parents were very loving and gave me lots of hugs and affection. it is a shame when kids do not get this, and it is hard for those kids to ever feel really comfortable with touching. my guy and i have good sex, but he is not really into cuddling if it doesn't lead to that. i am not sure how long i will stay with him, as there are other problems. your man may have other problems too,such as attachment problems that are related to his discomfort with touching and intimacy. don't get stuck with a person who doesn't care about your needs. i am also exploring the question of why i have so often allowed relationships with men who do not meet my needs. is it a challenge to try to get affection from those unwilling to give it, or what? do we think we don't really deserve it deep down? these are questions worth thinking about.

Don't worry, some people like cuddles more than others, and that's just normal. What I would worry about though, is whether he's fair on you to be so insistent on having things his way, you should both find a compromise instead!

Sounds like you may be kind of needy. While I like a good cuddle sometimes, everyday too, you sound like a moth trying to get inside a lightbulb. Stop thinking with your feelings. People in the "modern world" have aborted their rational brains in favor of an insatiable stupidity called emotion. Sometimes you have to suck it up and stop being a tool.

I had a gf once that tried to cuddle all the time. Trust me, cuddling a pillow is more comfortable for a number of reasons. First, it doesn't weigh as much and you can squeeze it and toss it around. It's not boney either. I doubt you would appreciate your bf tossing you around when it became uncomfortable sleeping in that position. Second, "spooning" which is generally cuddling in bed, is awkward. What the hell do you do with your other hand if you're the guy in back?? It's very uncomfortable to sleep in that position. I had trouble sleeping with that gf of mine because she had to "cuddle" all the time. I would always end up tired the next day (plus she would take up my valuable sleeping space, not much on my bed as it isn't meant for couples). She was always trying to smooch me too. It's like, let me breathe, woman! Human touch is very necessary, even between friends and acquaitences, and we do live in a homophobic, anti-touch society (USA anyway), but let's not misplace that lack of touch and burden some bf with it.

Also of note is that couples tend to cuddle more in the beginning and less over the years (say, 10 years into marriage over newly weds). This is attributed to the increase in maturity and security; each person is comfortable with the other, and doesn't need to "reaffirm" every 5 minutes.

i like to be wrapped up in someones arms as i fall asleep, i totally understand u

Aww, i feel sorry for you, but i think Moi is right and he just isnt the cuddling type.you say you are in a new relationship but you seem to be living together and he doesnt sound like he treats you all that well. maybe you should have a serious talk with him and make him understand this is a big problem for you. I think its normal i love cuddles :D

what a jackass. shoot him.

i want to be cuddled right now...i feel lonely..