Cursing at children

30% Normal

24 Comments

well, from my perspective, bitch and asshole are just words like lamp and chair....so cool by me.

LOL. Unfortunately It is normal for this day and age, but when my kid turns 13 he damn sure won't be talking to me like that.

i know that my friends and i, as young adults, remember the names we were called as children clearly and sometimes bitterly. i guess it depends on the girl, but at 13 she may hide it if the name-calling hurts. chances are she will remember him calling her that her whole life, and that can't be good, can it? i know it's hard to change now but maybe if he stops, she will stop also and they can learn better ways to express themselves. ps... who's spoiling her?

You should be careful what you say to kids, they take it all on board, 5 years on, I can still remember things my parents said/ did to me that upset me when I was 13. Like mkaidd said, he should stop to set an example for her.

It's normal for teenagers to swear, but their parents probably shouldn't encourage it. If he wants her to grow up and succeed in life someday, then he should really consider helping her stop the cussing.

It's normal for the kids to curse their parents, but it's NOT normal for parents to curse their kids. My parents and I used to get into hell-raising fights when I was a teenager. I would spew horrible words out of my mouth because I was young and angry and couldn't help myself.

However, neither my father nor my mother ever once cursed at me during these fights. It took a lot of self control and dignity. If they would have called me "spoiled b**ch", it would have shocked me because it would put them at my verbal and maturity levels, which were much lower at the time. lol

i think that's totally wrong, there should be respect between the daughter and father and if there wasn't, the father should try fixing that not making it worse

Maybe she can't control herself, but she is a 13 year old girl, and that is exactly how HE is acting-- like a child.

Children internalize that kind of thing, and it can really haunt them. My mom called me a bitch when I was 13, and I haven't forgotten it over 10 years later.

It is immaturity, and a clear lack of self-control that enables a grown man to treat a child that way. Why do you think she thinks it's ok to call him an a-hole? Because he has demonstrated that treating someone with no respect is ok!

I would say by that age its to late to change, if she is calling him an A hole then there is no respect there which must have been lost as the child was growing up.

So no not normal unless your a typical council estate dweller!!

Parents lose it, say things they immediately regret ... young teens are really trying - and lets face it: vulgarity is terribly commonplace.

But, NO, it is not normal for him to refer to his daughter that way (& "often"!) & he is really showing poor, poor judgement to think it is OK.

Being called an A-hole by your kid must sting. But the way to deal with it isn't to act like one.

Doesn't he realize that he should teach by example? How does he expect to be respected, and worse, how is this girl to grow up with a sense of self respect?

Get him to change his behaviour. And take a closer look at whether you share this guy's values.

no, never curse at your kids. i still remember what my parents called me when i was little. it hurts inside.

Why does he lower his way of expression to the language used by a 13 year old. He should be setting an example. he should not be playing her game. My mother always said "if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all"
Swearing shows stupidity, lack of imagination and vocabulary.

My dad has always sworn at me and it is NOT GOOD, and as somebody else said it does make them seem less mature and less respectable as a parent.

I would never curse at my daughter, if she cursed at me I would give her a nice hug aka a butt whipping. :P

Being a 13 year old girl, she most likely is a bitch. The fact that she calls her father an arsehole just proves that point.
No problem with calling a spade a spade.

Children mimic their parents so I'll bet it's his fault she's so mouthy to begin with and him calling her names is not going to gain him respect. Just the opposite. She's 13 now and acting like that she's only going to get worse if he doesn't learn other ways to communicate with her

I remember my dad doing that to me when I was itty bitty but not when I was thirteen.

My dad called me a bitch once. I screamed at him and his defense was that that's the way I was acting. He came and apologized very quickly. I got spankings from an early age, but not verbal abuse. I think that can mess a kid up, way more than spanking. it's one thing to be diciplined and another to be belitted and degraded by a family member. I adore my parents for the way they raised me and I'm going to raise my children the same way, I will never degrade my children like that.

It is nice you want to raise your children in the way you adored. But try to improve your parenting for the next generation by not spanking. Use discipline, not spanking. Don't just go on how you were raised/what believed. There's lots of solid info. Hope you don't mind the suggestion.

Instead of feeding her negativity with negativity he should try different approaches.

He should seek therapy for the both of them. That way a professional can help him deal with his daughter's misbehavior.

People aren't a failure just because they seek therapy. People are a failure when they don't and keep failing.

its probably more exciting for them to use curse words. that way they know they're paying attention.

Unfortunately, as some previous poster said, it is normal now. But not all that is considered normal in any given moment has to be good necessarily just for being 'normal', the norm, the generalized social attitude or action or state.
That man is a retarded, he acts and put himself in the level of a irrational and badly educated youngest girl of 13.
An adult has to have the prudence and foresight a youngster or a child hasn't. That's the difference, mental and moral, of a true adult and a non adult, not just the age.
And then, of course, he is a coward and a bully, fighting and bullying, without real need, a woman, and then a girl, and then his daughter (?).
I hope you didn't kept along with such a dub, because you would be next in the list.

Your boyfriend is obviously trailer trash. If not literally, then he has the mindset of it. Anyone who finds it okay use foul language with their children has no class.

The way I see it, adults are at fault becus we expose small children to cussings etc just like our parents and their parents etc. children are like a pieces of blotting paper and they pick things up (good and bad) very fast. Then when the damage is done, we adult will try to rationalise and says it is ok. I say 'it's a lot of BULLSHIT'. There are choices in life and we can put a stop to it by cussing less, more so if in front of them. Of course when children becoming older they are unfortunately exposed to others' cussing. But then they would have already been taught (by us) that it is not nice to cuss and maybe they will be better informed. btw, I cuss once in a while too (alone).