deal with the presence of my step-daughter http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/ I think you are going way Overboard...just remember you Married your husband knowing that he Had a child already , You should be ashammed of yourself for even thinking so harshly about an innocent child! http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-320864 2009-11-03 09:41:38 HELLO, it's not this innocent child's fault. YOU'RE the adult, YOU KNEW what you were getting into when you married this man, if he comes with a child - that child should always be a part of his life, that's called PARENTING. God, you ARE horrible. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-308266 2009-08-31 23:16:54 I am surprised by how judgemental some of these people are being. If you have not been in this situation it is easy to think that you are being selfish and mean, but I think its a totally natural feeling and I have it myself. My stepdaughter is 13 and I resent her presence in my life too. It is not that she is a bad kid, because she is fine-the problem is a emotional one for me. She was not part of my husbands life for several years(she lived over seas). I knew about her but she did not see us and we lived OUR lives and planned our future and she was not part of it. I finally met her when I was pregnant for about a month and she left again. A few years after that her mom moved back and I have had a hard time ever since. I Just hate that my husband has a kid with someone else-period. It feels foreign and uncomfortable. I resent when she comes over because it feels like she is taking away my time with him and our daughter. he also works night shift and I do not see hime a lot as it is. I am sure that it sounds horrible to an outsider because I know that I would think that too, but you can not rationalize raw emotion-i just feel upset about it.I was worried about the child part when we first met but since she was not around, i thought it would be ok. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-306020 2009-08-19 17:37:39 Congratulations on completely depriving a little girl of her father, I had a bitch like you take my dad over also. I hope he`s strong enough to realize how selfish you are and how much his child needs him in his life, but I doubt he will - men are weak and you obviously have him wrapped around your finger. I hope you can`t sleep at night. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-303130 2009-08-01 00:12:27 After reading all the comments left by others for you I feel as though I don't need to leave the original comment I was going to make. They were pretty brutal. My first impression was "what a selfish b*tch*"... I don't know .. I think it's heartbreaking that that little girl is in that house with you. Don't you think she can feel that you LOATHE her'''' So so sad... and the dad should be standing up for his daughter. If I were him I would have said to YOU.. "Grow up and accept my daughter along with ME or we will have to go our seperate ways" utterly ridiculous.. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-300213 2009-07-14 17:28:37 The reason you feel this way about a 3 year old girl is because she is not your daughter, you need to change your perspective and deal with it, try to get along with her, don't hate a 3 year old girl just because she has a cold or something stupid like that. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-299863 2009-07-12 09:02:10 You know how you are acting and feeling toward this young child is wrong & harming her and your marriage. Get help now - counselling - to understand where these negative feelings of bitter hostility and jealousy are coming from, and what you can do. This is a long term relationship so you have to change. While getting help your husband should do things with his daughter on his own to meet her needs and minimize her exposure to your demeaning behaviour. Her weird behaviour, BTW, is just a reaction to yours. And while getting help - try to have empathy for this child - put yourself in her shoes. Realise how lating the kind of emotional abuse you are subjecting her to is. Treat her with the dignity she deserves. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-296981 2009-06-26 05:03:00 Been there done that! I thought I was reading the story of MY life. When hubby & I got married, his daughter was 3. I loved her and although my mom warned me about marrying a guy with a kid, I was in love..blablabla...She was my flower girl at our wedding...anyways, it was all good until I had my son, by then she was 6. OMG, I felt so cheated. All my friends had their families...mom,dad and baby...and I was stuck with this "outsider". When I had my son, my hubby went to pick her up at her mom's so she can come visit me. AHHH...I felt so bad for him bcuz he was so excited to bring her and what I really wanted was so scream "F her...this is OUR moment! I hated the fact that she had to be in our Xmas photo and that caused a HUGE fight with hubby. Lucky you, only 2 days every other wknd. We had her 50/50 with her mom. I remember I would wake up in a bad mood on the days I knew she was coming. When she was 9 I had my daughter. She got VERY jelous. In part by her mother's comments, ie "your dad has a little girl now, so you're on the back burner"...very stupid mother, but that's a whole other story....Well, she's 16 now and she has not seen or spoken to her dad in over 3 years. There were rules in our house and she didnt like them and she started spending less and less time at our house until she stopped coming all together. I am ashamed to admit it, but it's the best thing that could have happened to us. I pray that my kids don't marry a person with a kid..it really sucks! http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-296974 2009-06-25 23:46:09 I think your fucking M.R. seriously. For one, if shes only 3 years old then shes OBVIOUSLY not in school(the runny nose and cough)(did you ever think the poor girl has ALLERGIES) so who knows what the hell your even talking about. For two, She is only 3, she cannot help that people call your son and her brother and sister. but would there be a difference if they had said Step-brother and sister' I think not. you have to fucking face it that your husband has a child and don't you think he would be hurt if he could never see his child just because of a selfish bitch like you' http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-289823 2009-05-06 18:52:11 Your a bitch. If I was there I would call childline and then you would have to walk all the way to the park so you can bully little children. Be ashamed and pick on someone your own size http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-287840 2009-04-18 18:37:10 It's so easy to talk and comment like some people did to your story... they are arrogant and self %u2013righteous thinking they own the absolute truth. Before you were pregnant you didn't mind your stepdaughters' presence like you do now. I think that you are a great mum, and that's why you worry so much. It's understandable that you want the best for your baby, and the best is to interact with you and his father as a united family. I see how the girl can disrupt this little time you have together as a family. I won't judge you, because it's in your skin that this burns. I'm sure it's not easy, but try to accept her presence. It will be easier on you, on your husband and on the girl. Try to live one day at a time. Don't waste the time she is there regretting. I understand that it would be much more intimate if the girl wasn't there, but try not minding so much. If you get closer, you will see she can be nicer. The way you talk about your baby makes me see that you are a loving woman that loves children. I'm sure that if you pass the fact that she is your husband's with another woman, you can see her as you see any other child, and treat her as such. Good luck with everything! I'm sure it will all go for the best! http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-285746 2009-03-30 06:47:35 This is a tiny child we're talking about. This poor child only gets to see her father for a few measly hours, and you want to deprive her of this. Hopefully this man will leave you and take the children with him. You're an extremely selfish and despicable woman. You do not deserve children........ http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-285339 2009-03-26 20:47:51 I can imagine how you must feel, she is the outcast and is not apart of your family, I would just try to stay away from her if you can. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-284096 2009-03-13 01:19:46 You are being a little selfish. when you married your husband, you not only took him for better or for worse, you took his daughter as well. she is only three and still learning about the world. It unfair to hold against her the fact that she has a runny nose or that she does not know the difference between her toys and your sons toys. And you know what, not only is she your husbands daughter now, but she is yours as well. my parents are divorced and my dad is remarried. My stepmom treats me like one of her own kids. my mom, my dad, my stepmom, we all get a long great and even go on family trips together. as far as I am concerned, I have two moms. and honey, whether you like it or not, your son and your stepdaughter are brother and sister. they are related by their father and are brother and sister not only by circumstance, but by blood and genes. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-283910 2009-03-10 21:12:21 I think you'rebeing mean and self-fish now that you have your baby. The little girl is only 3yrs, make her feel part of the family and you will notice how nicely the young girl will respond. Remember your husband is her Dad and she should not be deprived of that, she's too little at 3yrs, it's not her fault that her dad split with her Mum. Show her love and affection and that's what you will get in return. http://isitnormal.com/story/deal-with-the-presence-of-my-step-daughter-27320/#comment-283401 2009-03-06 03:49:01