I always seem to feel depressed, or annoyed at something, occasionally I feel happy but that doesnt last very long. I have started to feel suicidal recently though, I have cut myself for quite a while but I am starting to feel like I shuld just cut deep down the road and end it all. The two things keeping me from doing it is the hope that sh*t will look brighter after college, but everyone says I should enjoy these years as it's only going to go down hill from here on and the second reason is that I don't want to put my family through the pain of me killing myself.
also, with the help of others, i think you should try to stop cutting. as I'm sure you know, it can be very addictive, and the longer you cut the harder it'll be to stop, and if you cut for a prolonged period often you're going to have to go to more and more extreme measures just to get the same effect, or even just to feel normal. self harming doesn't necessrily mean you'll kill yourself, but it definitely can't help your emotional state in the long run.
Most importantly, don't try to go through this on your own. it's hard enough to cope with support, and even harder on your own. it's good that you know your family care about you: would you be able to talk to them about how you feel? even if you're nervous about seeing a therapist, they might be able to help you.
I've got a few tips for you.
-Start up a new hobby. (Playing guitar, surfing, writing poems etc.) ANYTHING you want! Kee[ at it. This will make you a LOT happier, trust me.
-Te
God.
To the original poster, go to a doctor, or a mental health professional, although you'll likely get referred to one through your GP, you owe it to yourself to explore different options for treating depression, and if it is clinical depression or comorbid with another disorder etc.
You owe it to yourself and anyone you love to seek professional treatment before contemplating suicide. Mental health professionals have effective treatments for depression coming out their yingyang.
You have no excuses not to explore that venue.