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Don't want sex ever.
21% Normal
38 Comments

I am a 21 year old woman, and I have no desire for sexual relationships with either men or women, but I am attracted to both a specific man and a specific woman, and appreciate the beauty in people aesthetically. I have only had sex once, and it's a stretch to call it sex. It was with neither person I am attracted to,it was a man, and I didn't really feel anything about it once it was over, except maybe repulsion. While it was happening, I didn't feel much either.

I was drunk, and I thought I should do it to have the experience, but not for any real desire to do it.

I hate intimacy whether it is physical or otherwise.

Is it normal to be this way?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (38)
Team_Cullen (18736)
2009-04-01 05:36:57
I personally think you're normal. Nothing's wrong with it. But Maybe, about the intercourse, you didn't feel anything because you were drunk. If you're not satisfied at all, maybe you should do it again unintoxicated. :)
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loraine0667 (21474)
2009-04-01 09:08:27
:)
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nobodyspecial (21409)
2009-04-01 10:10:24
try it again with someone you love, it wil feel totaly different to your first time
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Losttoast (21485)
2009-04-01 11:04:32
I think this is not normal. If you have intamacy problems its more than likely something in your past. Everyone wants to be loved and feel the warm embrace of another human. If you can honestly say you don't, than your fucked in the head.
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chakmak (21484)
2009-04-01 11:14:31
Someone else just posted the exact same story. Like I told him, as long as you're happy there is no need to worry. But if you are unhappy with it, perhaps you could seek counseling. Have you ever been intimate with someone you actually cared about? Maybe that is the problem.
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prettywoman (21243)
2009-04-01 16:52:30
ya go with the first persons advice you should probablly try it when your not drunk with some one special:)
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shann311 (21423)
2009-04-02 21:04:04
Maybe u need to have sex with a girl
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Ernest (21543)
2009-04-03 02:04:44
Its pretty universal that the first time you have sex, it's no good (for a girl).

Like many have said, try it again with someone you love. I doubt your intimacy issue will change, but there are sex positions that can counter that (eg. doggy).
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DiscoDuck (18706)
2009-04-03 05:35:05
No IT IS NOT NORMAL to hate intimacy. I think it has become all to common for people to accept the fact that intimate relationships are falling away. Human beings are supposed to enjoy and seek intimacy, its natural and supports a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally.
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happilysingle (20226)
2009-04-04 07:01:49
You don't necessarily need to have sex to have a good relationship. Don't spend too much time worrying about it. Enjoy your friendships and your life.
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Powernoend (21546)
2009-04-04 17:59:40
IT is normal. if you continue your education and be in a good position then you will desire anything you like. but now sex or no sex this is waste of time and at the end you would be losing.!!!!
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oskilover18 (22167)
2009-04-20 01:26:19
The first time always sucks. It took me a year to enjoy having sex and longer to orgasm during it.
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Starofhisheart (22416)
2009-04-27 20:35:50
Having sex or even kissing someone you don't love, for me at least, SUCKS. Its... empty feeling... But if you don't like intimacy, I'm not sure what to tell you. It's whats makes it feel incredible. But dont force yourself into something you don't want, you'll never enjoy it. Maybe you should be a nun lol jk
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combatgal856 (13140)
2009-05-24 16:49:38
That's because you're first sexual experience was a bad one so it has effected the way you feel overall about sex. Maybe one day in the future you can have sex with someone you are into and you will feel something because there is a connection.

But yes it is normal sometimes it is best that sex is out of you're mind so you can continue being independent and do whatever it is you want from you're life
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hebaio (23183)
2009-05-24 21:44:14
maybe you're asexual?
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sepia (23362)
2009-05-24 23:21:50
Sounds like u REALLY need to experience an orgasm, i believe your whole opinion will change
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quintilian (23608)
2009-05-31 08:29:58
I think I understand you.
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ZenRaver (24066)
2009-06-10 05:10:41
i know what you are going through im not attracted to either a guy or a girl ( im bisexual) and i look at a guy and fell nothing the same with a female so you are not alone
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gitface (24568)
2009-06-22 18:13:56
It sounds like your first experience was traumatic. Being tenative about sex after a negative introduction is natural, but if you feel that it's impeding your sex life you should seek professional help.
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Ollieo (19003)
2009-07-02 07:26:08
Is it sexual relationships or sexual desire period?

If you have a healthy libido you might want to consider what it is about relationships that is difficult for you because that level of intimacy includes but goes beyond sexuality.

If you don't have much libido you might want to see your Dr about what is going on.
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Ollieo (19003)
2009-07-02 07:31:49
@: Ollieo
Oh wait you said you hate intimacy "physical or otherwise." Hates a strong word. I think you should get some help around this. It would be sad for you to become lonelier and more bitter over time.
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Shapeshifter (25110)
2009-07-05 23:30:50
Seems normal enough to me; getting naked for anyone makes me uncomfortable too. Lots of people hate being intimate, so I wouldn't worry about it.
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drtywiteboy (25343)
2009-07-10 00:00:17
didnt feel it? wow thats unfortanate... i think you should give sex another shot, and someone should tell the man who had sex with you that he needs to learn how to love a woman. being uncomfortable naked is normal, hating intamcy though, not so much. i think its because you havent found someone your comfortable being intimate with.
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purple12345 (27977)
2009-09-01 22:28:29
you are normal...hating on the other hand is deff a stong word. at the time the sex took place, you were drunk and incapable to feeling good or comfortable. not wanting to have sex or relationshions for awhile is perfectly fine....however you dont want to always feel this way. having relations with someone and exspressing your self in senual ways with a person is healthy. when you feel more comfortable with your self you will be able to open up to another person and feel good about it.....DONT THINK YOUR NOT NORMAL CAUSE YOU DONT HAVE INTEREST
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Stryker (23243)
2009-09-18 01:25:03
Where you abused before?
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loraine0667 (21474)
2009-09-19 00:18:31
@: Stryker
I have only one memory of something when I was about 12 or 13 years old, where a member of the family (step-family) lured me downstairs and started to put his hands under my shirt, but I ran away and never spoke of it again, and nothing actually happened on that instance, but the attempted fondle. Otherwise, not that I am aware of.

Thanks everyone for replies. Am taking all into consideration. :)
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Argollun (28826)
2009-09-22 13:54:42
Marry for love, and use sex as a way of showing that love. Some people like sex, some people don't. Also go with the dude.
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Stryker (23243)
2009-09-22 16:28:45
@: Stryker
were*
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scarfface (27555)
2009-09-25 13:25:27
you probably had some kind of trauma during your childhood. you need therapy and then you'll get it sorted. unless ur asexual.
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nothing2 (29013)
2009-10-07 20:11:30
you'll figure it out
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Stryker (23243)
2009-10-16 19:21:28
@: loraine0667
That`s a very intimidating and sexual thing to happen to a young girl.. i`m sure it would make anyone else feel weird about sex in general.
You should just listen to yourself and respect your own boundaries is what I think, and if you feel like talking to someone about what happened then a therapist could be really helpful.
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sjaygee (30213)
2009-10-23 10:35:26
your missing out. :)
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maya617 (30062)
2009-10-23 12:36:03
you should never attempt sex when intoxicated.
sex should be with a person you care about and who cares about you, someone you feel comfortable with and whom you trust.
intimacy is a beautiful thing, it just has to be done with the right person.
plus it should be done while both of you are fully aware of what's going on, not under the influence of a substance.
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artyonemanparty (30225)
2009-10-23 13:15:03
SEX is awesome and you need a guy who knows what the heck his doin
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rose500 (30347)
2009-10-28 09:48:51
I think you should try to meet someone get to now them and wait until you feel that intensity and emotion for them.

I am kind in the same boat I am not that sexual either. When I lost my virginity I hated it I felt uncomfortable and weird and whish I had waited for some one who actually cared for me. Mine was also a drunken one night stand.
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SaturnVII (30557)
2009-10-31 00:17:19
Abnormal. Asexual. Do not think anything of it. It's not like anyone will give you trouble for it, but that's probably the least thing you're worried about. So you don't want sex. It's not like it is the end of the world.

I will say abnormal though because the majority of people are not like this.
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PeaceMaker (29507)
2009-10-31 07:24:23
sec is a banding moment if u do it without love is meaningless
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shiftysplit (30590)
2009-10-31 16:46:31
You may not have found the right person. One time I had sex with someone I wasn't truly insterested in and I felt the exact same way. I was repulsed and didn't want to have any sort of sexual contact with anyone afterwards... but then I met someone I was really into and we ended up having sex and it was so good.

Don't completely reject intimacy. It may be that you just weren't with the right person or haven't been in the right situation to receive it.
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