Family is covering up serious wrongdoing

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31 Comments

Yea, it's definitely normal not to want to associate with someone like that. That said, it might be better to establish some kinda contact just to keep an eye on your niece. This guy obviously isn't safe for her to be around, and if you're there you might pick up on it if it happens again, and maybe get evidence this time to convict him.

Yeah you're right. I'm dying inside because of this. :(

Ok, listen to me, and listen to me very carefully. What you are going through is horrible, to be treated that way by you sisters is absolutely astonishing and appalling to me. I can understand why you don't want to associate with them, but you should. A child rapist like your brother in law doesn't just stop over night. He is probably still sexually abusing your niece to this very day and the only way your niece will be safe is if she is far away from him! I would establish some kinda contact and try and see if the abuse is still going on. If it is as I suspect, You need to find a way to get your niece out danger. Your nieces physical, mental, and emotional well being depend on it.

Your niece is very lucky to have a sweet and caring aunt like you!

Write a letter telling your story again to social services telling them you will hold the head of the department directly responsible for what is happening to this child.
make it very clear to them that they are being deceived and that this child should be removed from harm, even demand a paediatrics doctor looks at her.
good luck.

candycane, thank you so much. As corny as it sounds, it makes me cry because it means so much to have some kind of support. I feel so alone, but I can just imagine how alone my niece feels and I hope that at least she knows that I love and believe her!! I hope it helps!

Frikky, thank you. I have tried. They just say there's no proof and that the case is closed because of this.

Buriedalive, thank you. I do know that is true, they don't just stop, but I hope that he got so scared he stopped, although since my sisters helped him cover up (to prevent shame to the family-- Imagine!) may have emboldend him to do it more.
The problem is, they want me to take it back and then I can see my niece. Otherwise they won't let me see her. I can't take it back because it's true. And if I pretend it didn't happen, that will hurt my niece even more. I have to think about some way to help.
My family disgusts me.

i would castrate him if i could... i hate rapist especially chiled unless if the child wanted to have sexual relationship like i did when i was nine... i still do but none...want to because of my age.. :(

Wow "shadow1004".... I don't know what to say about what you said when you were nine. :(
I don't think children that young can even understand sex and that they really don't want to have sex. They haven't even reached puberty. No child should ever be exposed to such things.

But yeah I just wish he could never be around her again so she could be safe. :(

hi just came across ur post sorry is it her dad or uncle? me and my sister were victims or it from our 2 brothers help her he will get her if u just sit bac i'm sorry your gonna feel sick about now i do he is an animal get in wit some big cop or some 1 deals wit it there was no 1 2 help me but she has u

You have strong feelings about this

"122333"... I'm so sorry that it happened to you too. I am not just sitting back. Not at all. I've been trying everything I could to help my niece and am still searching to try to find out what else I can do. I went to the cops, they don't care because they can't prove it and my niece is too scared to tell what her father was doing to her. I think he has stopped for now because of what I hear from other family members but that's not good enough, my niece needs treatment and help and it's not fair that he gets away with it while she is very very hurt. It's sick!

lotsofjunk, of course shadow has strong feelings, anyone with any kind of morals would have such strong feelings against rapists.

what id do for real, ask her once when shes a little older and tell her the story, if she says she lied forgive every one, if she says she didnt, take the law into ur own hands, kill them and take her off to live somewere under the radar, like a cabin, catching fish and hunting for food and living off the land, one big camping trip u could say

Look, you need to hire a private detective or set up a secret camera where you think the abuse is happening.

You are totally normal for being mad and not wanting to associate with people that are doing horrible things.

Thanks for your support 100thSheep.

I have thought about that. Trying to get a PI involved. Only thing is,PI's here are really whimpy. They say they can't go into someone's house and plant a camera because it's illegal. ???

I understand that the authorities aren't much help, they can only do something if you can prove it, but my wife works for the DHS, she is actually one of the people that take kids into custody when something like this happens, so i know a little about how it works. When you make a call like that to the DHS they are Required to open a case... regardless of past circumstances. If it was me, every month or so I would call in an anonymous complaint on the guy. They will have to investigate it... I would also pretend that everything is ok so you can convince the little girl to tell the social worker her story... they will listen to her even though she is so young... I know of them taking three year olds seriously. I would also talk to the counselor at her school, she will take you seriously too and would be required by law to contact the authorities. She might even be able to talk to the little girl or observe her. I would definitely talk to your mother and convince her that this little girl is being hurt and the pride of a child molester and the sister that enables him is worth nothing. Your sister is just as bad as he is for letting this happen to her daughter. She can face criminal charges for allowing her daughter to be raped. Absolutely do not try to protect her. If you, your mother, the school counselor, the little girl, someone anonymous, and anyone else you can think of to help all contact the DHS... they will have no choice but to take this matter seriously. If they close the case, wait a month and report it again. It doesn't matter how mad you make people or how much you inconvenience the DHS, that is their job... it sounds like you are the only one willing to try to protect this little girl from constant terror, so don't ever give up!!

Bummerman, thank you very much. I did not know the way it works. All I knew is that when I did report it to child services, there was one social worker that visited my sister and her husband and my sister would not let her talk to my niece alone. In fact, the social worker told my sister that she could refuse, when she asked to speak to her alone. The whole situation was screwed up from the beginning. The social worker should definitely not be in that job because she has very poor judgement and seems to not care enough to investigate such a serious matter. The cops are big city cops and they did a very lackadaisical job investigating this, actually hardly investigating and said that this happens many times, the child will be scared silent and then 5 years later comes forward and tells what happened. So they basically didn't care that she was being hurt at the present time. I will never give up though and no matter how much my so called family tries to manipulate me into taking back what I reported, I won't. I will never take back the truth no matter what they try to do!

By the way, thank you so much everyone for your support and for your help! I have felt so all alone with this. And it just kills me knowing that my niece is alone with this too. That's so much worse.

Okay, I know this is a late post... and I know that everyone is saying this, but...

DO NOT give up on this!!!! I know you have tried your best, and you truly are an amazing and a very caring aunt to take this on by yourself. So many people wouldn't have lifted a finger for this situation. You are very, very brave.

But I cannot stress enough how important it is that you get that little girl out of there NOW. I don't care if they've stopped sexually abusing her for the time being, or even permanently. She is still being abused in that she is living with/near the man who did this to her and the women who helped, and in that she is forced (probably through violence and intimidation) not to say a word. She will be HURT and SCARRED for her whole life. And if that man did it once, he will do it again. And again, and again until she comes to expect it.

This is the most terrible thing that can happen to a child. You need to get her out of there as SOON AS YOU CAN. Go to the police again, go to child protective services, go to social services. Let them know the whole story. The lies, the cover-ups, when it started, what your niece told you. Do NOT give up, and if you can, try your very hardest to get her to tell authorities herself.

I know that this is way easier said than done, but YOU could be the one to save this girl from even more pain and scars that last forever.

I say again, this is the worst thing that can happen to a child. My boyfriend... this happened to him. When he was little... gah, i can't even explain to you how terrible, or what it has done to him. He is the most scarred and hurt person I have ever seen, and he deserved none of it. He was a child, and he was repeatedly raped by the one woman who should have protected and loved him; his mother. He didn't get any help from ANYONE, and now he has so many problems... he's attempted suicide so many times, he thinks he is worth NOTHING, and he has the most severe case of paranoid schizophrenia I have ever heard of in real life. It hurts when people touch him because he learned that touching brought pain. Sometimes he blacks out when he remembers her, because his mind just can't face it. There's more, but it's not something people can really talk about.

People like your brother-in-law are EVIL. He CANNOT be aloud to do this to an innocent child. I know this is hard, but you really, really need to keep trying. Please. I don't know you, and I don't know your niece, but I am begging you not to give up on her.

I hope I don't sound cruel, or insensitive or like I don't recognize your kindness.

SeparateGravity (21019)..
No you do not sound cruel at all. I appreciate your comment. Every time I get a comment like this, it helps keep my sanity in check because sometimes I wonder how this is possible that it can just be hidden and an innocent child has to stay in this horrible situation and it makes me think no one else sees how wrong this is, but when I read your comment and others who also hate this badness, it makes me feel stronger and helps me have a little more faith in people, knowing that others know how bad this is too!

So I'm not sure what to do. My niece lives in another city, they moved to another city and hid where they moved, but I knew where... I found out... I have not known what to do though. I am thinking I can go to my niece's school or report it again to that new city's child services department. Maybe she will have a better social worker this time?? Can someone please tell me what they think would be good? It's not that I can't think for myself, it's just that because I love my niece so much, my emotions can get in the way of logic, and I don't want to further interrupt my niece's life and then nothing be done to save her from that sick pervert again! It's like she has a sort of stockholm syndrome too. When my mom mentions me to her, she acts mad and my mom says why and she says: "because she told on dad to the police"! So she hates me but it's because she's only 8 years old now(still so young) and doesn't know that I was just trying to do the right thing and trying to save her from the damage that was/is being done to her. They made her feel that I did something bad by telling on him. They kept threatening her telling her: "Stop saying those stupid things! Do you want the police to come get you and take you away?" Her own "mother" was yelling that to her. So my niece was terrified into thinking that she would be taken away by the police, when really if my sister told the truth, the only one being taken away would have been the sick child raping pervert.

You cannot fight your family members, especially when they have ganged up on you. I would try my best to just protect your niece, and give her care, and seek child services and counseling.

Hopefully what I am going to say might give you ideas about what to do in order to put him in jail and maybe the other members of your family covering this story up.

Although you might already know, it is not legal to plant a hidden camera into someone's home unless you have the permission from a judge, and even if it would catch something, I don't think it could be held against him, unfortunately (I could still be wrong).

Here might be a plan in order to help your niece, although it might be hard to pull off.

-> You live in United States, which each of them have their own ways of dealing with criminal stuffs. It might be a good idea to seek out which state has the most children abuse reported/going to court. I don't think that said state has more chilren abuse than others, it might just mean they investigate more and take those stuffs seriously. (Oklahoma might be good also because of this: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/155161.php )

- Once you know which state has the most child abuse, try to contact the police, or some children care services there and let them know about the rest of this plan.

- Then the idea would be to lure him, your sister and your niece in that state/city by either contacting someone who is related to his work in that state offering a job for him and giving a plane ticket (unfortunately that maybe you or your mother would have paid) for them to go meet the guy (which would most likely not even meet at all) or forge somekind of ''lottery'' they would have won to ''visit'' that state for a couple of days.

If you get someone that hears you in that states, then the only thing needed is to lure him there, which upon arrival he will be on another jurisdiction and might be arrested and they might investigate better.

I'm not sure if all of this could work out, and if it does, at least your sister(and maybe others) is liable to being his accomplice by shutting her daughter up in order to prevent her husband going to jail for what he has done.

If it would work through, then, if so you desire, I would seek to get the custody of my niece since it seems no one else want to protect her and for everything you would have done for her. After that, it would be in your niece's hands to forgive you for maybe putting both her parents in jail...but anyway, one day or another she will hate her father for having done this to her, and her mother for having not listened to her or protected her husband.

I can only hope that this plan is possible, that you can make it happen and that in the end, your niece will be in better care.

Good luck...to her.

You are a good person.

This breaks my heart to hear about. my niece is very near that age, and I cant even imagine...... ugh.... I dont even want to think about it. God bless you for your strength and your integrity. I hope that somehow this gets made right, for your sake, your family's sake, and of course that poor little girl's sake.... god, i wanna cry now.... : (

IT IS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL, YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU TO DO, SINCE YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.... I SAY UNFORTUNATELY U HAVE NO CHOICE TO WAIT IM SURE YOUR NIECE WILL ASSOCITAE HERSELF WITH YOU LATER IN LIFE BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STOOD UP FOR HER... TRUST ME U ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING EVEN THO ITS DIFFICULT... FAMILY CAN BE VERY STRANGE SOMETIMES... I UNDERSTAND PEOPLE STAND UP FOR FAMILY MEMBERS BUT THEY SHOULDNT DO IT IF ITS HORRIBLE ACTS LIKE CHILD MOLESTING....
KEEP STAYING POSITIVE AND GOOD LUCK

You deserve it 100%, reporting an innocent person like that. If the young girl agreed and there isn't sadism involved, it's obviously fine.

stop typing with capital letters, you look like a jackass.

LOLOL

@Lola.. thank you. That Malfoy guy needs to be arrested. He thinks it's ok to rape children. Ew and he worries about you posting in capital letters. Hope he gets caught what a sick pig