I feel like I always go to through the same patterns throughout my days and with little to no changes as time goes by. Even when I read more and become more knowledgable, excersize and become more fit, I have doubts that I am bettering myself only to quickly brush it away as a moment of weakness. I need more control in my own life to better myself but i don't know how is that normal??

As Tom Petty once said; "We're overdue, for a dream come true. I'm tired of the snow, we both need somewhere to go".
My advice; take it easy, pick up a hobby or an instrument, and for god's sake hang out with your friends. If you don't HAVE any, GET SOME. Then proceed to hang out with them.
what to write down how miserable you are??
Everyone feels down, shit, bored.. all the time! God knows i do!
i'd say do something DRASTIC like, dance on stage when a band is in town(only if their letting it happen) do something that takes BALLS to do haha. i was in your same situation seemed like everyday was the same day. that i was stuck in it. that means you need to try something that you never tried before. try sky diving, if you got the cash. just do something ballsy;) it'll help i swear