Sh*t man, where have you been all my life? Welcome to the world of sh*tty childhood effects. It's the same for me, because I live my life without really feeling anything, acting like normal people do and knowing that nobody deserves the cold sort of relationship tat I have to offer. If you could call it a relationship at all. I refuse to date this one friend of mine because I know that he doesn't see the way that I really am and, once he finds out that I feel absolutely nothing for him(or anyone, really), he'll be hurt. But then, that shows that I do have some sort of attachment, yes? But I'll be honest. I think that I(and possibly you, too) am not brave enough to put meself in that vulnerable position. I'm comfortable enough and, though there's things missing, I don't want to risk putting myself out there and being rejected. And I have this mindset that if I'm not rejected, I will be pitied, which I think is worse. It is such a weakness, I think, and so I don't put myself out there. Maybe you're the same as me? But I wouldn't want to debase you to my level, either. It's perfectly logical that there is another reason. If your situation is out in the open, then it's probably not this. If not, though, it might be because you spend the majority of your life lying to everyone.
@ MrFirefly I think the problem is that, if you believed in god during your childhood, it's easy to lose faith if yours sucked. It's like "why did you let it happen?" I know for me, I lost faith and now I can't believe that god put everyone here for a reason. There is no reason that should happen to anyone. It leads one to think that maybe some people don't have a reason. This isn't to say that I don't hope that I'm proven wrong. Just saying that sometimes it's hard to believe in the optomistic side when it seems to have let you down more than a couple of times ^^
Either way, I think that you are worthy just as much as I probably am. It's a matter of taking that step, I think. I'm not brave enough to do it, but I truly hope you are ^^ And I consider you like my online soulmate, man.
But I'll be honest. I think that I(and possibly you, too) am not brave enough to put meself in that vulnerable position. I'm comfortable enough and, though there's things missing, I don't want to risk putting myself out there and being rejected. And I have this mindset that if I'm not rejected, I will be pitied, which I think is worse. It is such a weakness, I think, and so I don't put myself out there. Maybe you're the same as me?
But I wouldn't want to debase you to my level, either. It's perfectly logical that there is another reason. If your situation is out in the open, then it's probably not this. If not, though, it might be because you spend the majority of your life lying to everyone.
@ MrFirefly
I think the problem is that, if you believed in god during your childhood, it's easy to lose faith if yours sucked. It's like "why did you let it happen?" I know for me, I lost faith and now I can't believe that god put everyone here for a reason. There is no reason that should happen to anyone. It leads one to think that maybe some people don't have a reason. This isn't to say that I don't hope that I'm proven wrong. Just saying that sometimes it's hard to believe in the optomistic side when it seems to have let you down more than a couple of times ^^
Either way, I think that you are worthy just as much as I probably am. It's a matter of taking that step, I think. I'm not brave enough to do it, but I truly hope you are ^^
And I consider you like my online soulmate, man.