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For my BF to look at other girls on facebook and masturbate to them?
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58% Normal

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. A while ago I discovered saved photos of other girls from facebook on his computer. I asked him about them and it caused a fight and he told me that it really isn't a big deal that every guy does it and gets off to other girls on the internet, and that he had them from before we met. I knew some of the girls saved so it was really hard to see. He got rid of the pictures but now I notice he searches for anything "cleavage" related on the internet, and will occasionally still look through the girls pictures on facebook. I have a hard time understanding why he still looks at other large breasted girls on facebook, or the internet in general. Im completely secure with myself, I know he's very attracted to me, we're having sex frequently and i'm okay with Porn, just this whole "real girls" thing has gotten to me. I don't know if other guys do this while they have serious girlfriends or not and I don't want to confront him about it just yet. Thoughts?
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Comments (38)
I too am going through the same thing. My boyfriend of 3 years has been adding mass amounts of women to his facebook page, he claims it is for mafia wars, i catch him creeping on their photos all the time, girls barely in clothes, big boobs etc etc, its starting to hurt real bad, ive addressed the issue twice now and i get yelled at saying atleast im not physically cheating on you, but i dont go browsing facebook for hot men, so i cant relate, the fact that these are real women, hurts so bad. Im told i blow it out of proportion, he promises over and over it wont happen again and it continually does. Just this morning he promised to delete them all of his facebook, i checked he still has over 150 women added on there. We have 3 kids, i feel stuck, im so unhappy :(
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i hope everything works out. reading this made me so sad. My bf keeps looking at girls on fb.. and im feeling really hurt too. stay strong!
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Going through something very similar. It makes me feel awful... makes me feel like I'm not woman enough for him :( i dont know what to do
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It's disrespectful to you. Watch your back around him or break up with him. You deserve better. Not every man is like that. Allot of them are faithful while some aren't.
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Well, im the only guy to end up commenting on this page so I will just say its normal. Hes just wants to see very hot girls, just like every other guy. Because he has you, he probably doesnt do it as much as he did, but he is right, every guy does it. And to those out there who say their boyfriend doesnt do it, I guarentee they do. Its just a fact of life.
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There's your problem - you seem to think that what he masturbates to has anything to do with you.

Porn and masturbation are neutral, like eating a sandwich.

As long as he's not jerking off to a live partner (cyber sex etc) then it's not cheating.

If this affects your esteem... that's a personal issue
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Okay everybody, let me level the playing field. First off, let me say that i just turned 25 and have been porn free for a month, and it is DAMN hard. I will post things from both the guys side and the girls.

Studies have been shown that a girl's body is more attractive than a man's, the studies have been done with male and female audiences. This is why there are so many Ms America, Ms Universe or, just plainly stated, girl beauty pageants. Even in highschool there is the homecoming queen where it is about beauty, the king needs to be popular and masculine (any wonder why action heroes are viewed as "sexy"?).
Anyways, guys go nuts over naked girls. We see boobs or vagina and immediately we subconsciously or consciously think she is ready and willing to have sex. With the internet and free porn, this is too much for us to handle. I know, ive been there with 100's to 1,000's of pictures. I thought it was wrong to look at pics of girls I knew, but SOMETIMES I did just because the girl emphasized what she had (huge boobs in a LOW cut shirt or bikini top with tons of cleavage for instance).

When you are single and looking, what do you normally do? Every single day you dress to KILL before you leave the house. If you cared only for your guy, you would ask him what he likes before you started getting ready and stuck with that. You would also take his opinion instead of constantly adjusting what you have to make sure everything looks perfect. But no, you wanna look "cute" (as you all say). Why? Because you want guys to find you attractive, you crave the attention and hope that you can find the perfect guy by luring him with your beauty (deep down you should know this to be true).
Now, it is a double standard because you dress up to get attention, but then you hate knowing that others are getting attention and not you. If you think for one second that you only want to keep the attention of your guy, imagine if you were single with your friends and you all went out. Imagine all of your friend were hit on, but no one is checking you or or flirting with you. Suddenly you feel worthless because you aren't "as pretty" as everyone else.
Look at every mall, there are probably 50 clothing stores where
about 40 of them are girls only, 5 stores are guys only and the other 5 are guys and girls. Obviously girls are the main shoppers, and there are always "cute clothes", yes, cute clothes that accentuate your body and make you look desireable. Manis, pedis, up-dos, you name it, but 95% of those who get those are girls.

The world expects men to be strong, reliable, popular, and successful. Girls dont want a 100% "meathead", a basement dwelling genius, broke guy, or a perfect man in all ways except being faithful.

The world expects women to be pretty. Most guys will put up with everything wrong with a girl, at least for a short time, as long as she is pretty.

In other words, men are programmed to long for a girls beauty, and girls are programmed to do everything necessary to find a man that can take care of her and give her a family.

Thats why 50 shades of gray is so popular with girls, the guy is hot, super rich, owns a company, is very popular, is loyal and very dominant (strong). But it is all fantasy.

Thats also why guys are obsessed with porn, many many girls naked (or very close to it) in seductive poses or even having sex. Thats where our brains go crazy. With "real life girls" it is a conscious or sub conscious hope that the smiling, poses or outfits she is wearing is for us or will be for us. We think she may be insinuating that she wants us now or may want us soon. We just replace the camera person with us. Its all fantasy, but we are crazy with it because we see it too much with every ad on tv, every suggested facebook friend, every sidebar ad, every magazine, or every real life encounter of a sexy girl in a very revealing/accentuating outfit.

You cat get too mad at us guys, you will just push us away, the problem will never be solved and every guy you meet will be struggling with their addiction. Reward them when they abstain for a short period. Reward them more when they can abstain longer. Start small like 1-3 days, slowly add more time. Hopefully they will give it up completely AND be honest about it, cuz it messes with our brains and our dicks. If they are younger than 40 and cant get a ROCK hard erection within a day or two, thats a sign of addiction. This while ED epidemic doctors keep talking about is most likely due to porn as well as the softer versions of porn like bikini models and such. Sad, but true. But porn isnt going anywhere, so heed my advice or die bitter.
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The scary thing is this is so true, it's completely accurate. Just so sad. I mean I love sex, I want it far more than any man iv ever met and they can't usually keep up. But that just doesn't make a difference. My partner says I'm his world but I'm going out of my mind because he works away and tho I asked him if he watched porn he always said no. Swore on his families life. For 6 months he couldn't get hard for me coz of "nerves" l moved in with him and finally we have sex upto 5 times a day sometimes!but I found a tonne of young teen porn on his laptop and tho its been a month now and he leaves his laptop here (not my idea) I just can't get the images of them young skinny chd like looking girls out of my head. I also don't see how someone can love u but need to cheat on u constantly even if is only in their head. Then they always give u that crap about u being the only one they WANT!do all men think we are stupid?i asked him if he would like it if I spent hours searching out diff men to finger myself to every night and he said of course not. He's lucky enough to have me he's 37 and I'm 26. Why are men so greedy and selfish?i understand when ur single but surely if ur In love with someone and u know wanking to other girls is going to break their can u be that evil for a cheap thrill? I just give up on the male species..makes me wanna lose all my morals and just become a bitch!!
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you deserve better, real love is a sexual attraction to you and you only. I do feel porn is like watching tv and not harmful unless he's watching it everyday. he shouldnt be interested in 'real' girls. u should be his only sexy lady in reality and fantasy
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I am in a similar situation. Recently I found my boyfriend looking up 'real girls' on the internet, the girls who sell themselves on craigslist.. We have been going out for almost a year now.. and when I found out, I just lost it. I am extremely insecure and I just cant handle not feeling good enough for him. And he never communicates with me so I just feel like he doesnt care about my feelings. And he swears he is in love with me but IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU DONT FIND OTHER PEOPLE ATTRACTIVE.. I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS, ITS 100%% TRUE.
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you are so dumb. you can find many things attractive and still be in love with one girl. you are obviously the insecure jealous type in incredibly naïve just because you're in love with someone doesn't mean you can appreciate beauty all over the world it is only cheating if you're flirting really hard or you have sex and physical contact with another woman
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I too recently found out my boyfriend of 3 yrs has been looking at girls on craiglist and i told him thats the last straw, the whole time we've been together he has masturbated daily while looking at sexy girls on tv or youtube and even though it hurt i tried to tolerate it because i thought better that than him physically cheating also everytime we argued about it he either ignored my points or told me flat out its no big deal,im blowing it out of proportion blah,blah...i have had enough its eating away at my self esteem, it hurts like hell and now i finally realize that love shouldnt hurt like this
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OMG.OMG.OMG.OMG. Please read my whole comment,please. Me and my boyfriend of over a year had a HUGE fight over this. He use to let me use his laptop,one day I got curious AS DOES EVERY GIRLFRIEND, & trusting him that I did, (Like an idiot)I found a folder FILLED with pictures of tons and tons of girls from our high school pictures of them in their bikinis, or boobs hanging out.. or them being sluts. I got so upset I cried. I never told him.. that whole month I acted very strange toward him so he asked me & I confronted & he said he knew because I deleted them .. he was so angry and said every guy does that. I said no. Not true, that's sick & that means you have a problem. Seriously. He said fine & deleted them... now just now, he ran upstairs & I checked his laptop for the first time in forever & again.. same folder,even more pictures.. I'm disgusted & so depressed about this. I can not deal with this in a relationship. We have sex everyday more then once but he still everytime I leave the house (We're in college now) he opens up their pictures and masturbates to them, I can't.. I would like to talk to you actually.. I need someone who can relate to me..
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Any man you are ever with will look at porn. If you can't deal with that fact, you probably aren't mature enough to be in a relationship. Judging by your comment, you aren't.

Your boyfriend is a monster for looking at porn
You deleted his shit and expected him not to find out, and didn't talk about it for a month, as though he wouldn't notice
You seem to expect any guy you date to never feel the slightest physical attraction to anyone but you

Stop watching movies and get out a little.
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That's not jt at all. Everyone will feel attraction to other people, that's natural...but not spending all ur time on a laptop tossin off to other women when ur gf is there perfectly willing to do anything u want her to!!! That's just backward!!
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It's horrible isn't it..and I know the exact feeling uv got. Coz my partner looks at young teens which makes me sick but aparently they are 18 so it's meant to be fine...I've started to look at teenagers in a diff way. I'm only 26 but I feel old!and all the pics my bf looks at have skinny bodies and no boobs...I'm even thinking my big boobs arnt sexy to him now. And he's lied and lied and lied so much I don't know what's real or fake anymore. Iv moved 5 hours from my family and friends to be with him just to be faced with all this disgusting behaviour. I'm a complete wreck. People say I should still think myself sexy as he chooses to be in a relationship with me..I think why the f should women think themselves lucky that their bfs r only shaggin hundreds of diff women in their heads?!!oh yeh lucky us!!xxx
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Hi I know you wrote this post 2 years ago but I'm hoping you can help me because what you said above is exactly what happened to me. It first happened last year around Christmas time I found photos of me and my friends in one of his folders except i was cropped out of the photos and they were zoomed in on my friends boobs. I got so mad and upset and this definitely killed my self esteem. There wasn't just a few photos but there were heaps (like over 100) all zoomed in on their boobs and ass. We had a massive argument over it and I eventually forgave him and got over it after he swore he would never do it again. Today I found the same thing with new photos but this time the photos were saved in an archived folder (yes I snooped ) I confronted him and he says it was a test to see if he would catch me snooping or not. I'm so heartbroken and I don't know what to do. Can you please give your thoughts and opinion . He says that he doesn't want to be with anyone but me and he loves me more than anything but It hurts knowing he fantasizes over my friends . Especially when he crops me out of the photos. Ps our sex life is amazing we sleep together 4-5 times a week and it's always so good. I don't get it? I'm so confused how it can be so good but yet he has the need to look at other women esp my friends Ughhhh! !
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you didn't "get curious" you got nosy and cunty and invaded his privacy then you deleted them but didn't bring it up!?! are you restarted!!!? all the time he spent saving up his spank bank and you delete them and don't say a word. how rude!!! I hats people like you do some sketchy sneaky shit and go behind his back then don't have the balls to back it up. gross. I hope the fleas are 1 million camels infecf your pubic area. for an entire month you haut acted like a paranoid psycho? i love you our a nut case. you said you want to use his laptop and then you say you trusted him like an idiot what do you trust him to do and why she trust you you went through his private shit without even talking about it and then acting fucking weird for a whole month and didn't say anything to him not the truth to him about it you're the one who should get Dumpedyou're the fucking psycho
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you are such a dumb bitch every guy does have a spank bank anyone over the age of 25 knows about it you must be fucking 20-year-old moron you're upset because your boyfriend masturbates get a fucking clue he isn't have a problem you have the problem you invaded his privacy fucking deleted his fucking material and then ignored him for a month and act like a retard about it
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And YES it was girls I knew & saw everyday in school.. how sick I wouldn't care I told him if it was Porn because that's fake & it's porn but he doesn't understand that... I just can't... I feel like I'm at my breaking point.
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you are lying you would care just the same as porn it's not porn isn't fake those are real woman in the real world just like the girls and your school
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Same thing, kind of happened to me, ill never forget the feeling, if u ask someone to stop doing something you are uncomfortable with, and they wont, piss them off, simple, unfortunately my aggravation got that bad it turned ugly, but I still have my dignity
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wake up all you girls are brain-dead men don't change they say they're going to change for you so they can get what they want but no one actually changes people are always going to be who they are
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It is not normal. Today's society has oversexualized everything!!! This is why we have this problem. The point of the matter is that technically it is cheating!!! In the bible it says somewhere that even if you look at another woman with lust in your eyes, then you are committing adultery. So many men nowadays reject religion anyway. That could be for different reasons. Many, unfortunately, and deliberately want to be known as " bad" and tough without understanding that nobody else really cares. It's putting on a show for themselves in their own screwed psycho world. You cannot change a person. Just go after the person who is good and will be loyal to you ONLY. For some women, it may mean divorce and for others unmarried, it may mean secretly dating other men to find someone better. Because it sounds like most of these men would prefer that you not talk about this with them or confront them in any way, shape, or form. They are not allowing the conversation to take place and are often unwilling to compromise. So, if they don't want " an argument". Go out find someone new. His loss. A cheap thrill just means more to him than a loving relationship with all the perks.
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it is absolutely normal who are you to judge I want normality is you're so fucking dumb it hurts me to even read your comments so if I if you bumped into a girl in your butt brushed up against your dick that's cheating? How was looking at what he was looking apples and fruit in men's feet in jerking off to that is that cheating he's having sex with himself it's not cheating at all wake the fuck up
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Pt. 1
Wow! Just wow! There's a very clear divide here between the men's comments and the women's comments, but TrollSlayer hit the nail on the head. Ladies, this is simple biology. Men and women are wired differently. It's the punchline of countless standup comedies, the plot of countless films, etc. The divide in this regard is probably the deepest between men and women.

Let's take a look at this from an evolutionary perspective. If you don't believe in evolution, then stop reading this and grab a biology book. All species are programmed to reproduce. Humans are no exception. Let's think about the best methods of reproducing our own brands of DNA. According to Penn Medicine, sperm is produced at about the rate of 12 billion sperm per month (1). That's a lot of baby producing power there! Although male fertility declines with age, we still largely have reproductive capacity right up until the grave (2). There is no limit to our ability to
reproduce! Compare that to women's ability to reproduce.
A woman's ability to reproduce is literally a birthright in the sense that she comes out of the womb carrying all the eggs she'll ever have, numbering at around 2 million, down from the 7 million she had while still a fetus (3).
From there, it's literally a race against the clock. By the time she's sexually mature enough to actually get pregnant, her egg count has dropped as low as 300,000. The health of her eggs decreases over the decades until around 40, when the health is so low that the chances of conception are close to barren (3). For a man, that clock is ticking, too, but it's not as time sensitive. The chances of getting a woman pregnant after age 40 isn't so much a percentage, as much as a measure of how long it takes compared to more youthful aged men (2).
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Pt. 2
"So what does that have to do with our men looking at porn/Facebook profiles of other women?" I'm getting there. Based on the mechanics of our reproduction, men and women come at it from completely different angles. In order to reproduce and have our children survive, men have two very different options. One, the carpet bomb approach, is to go and inseminate as many women as possible, without regard to what happens after the fact. The idea here is that enough of those children will survive to then grow up and repeat the process. This is a brute force tactic, but from an evolutionary standpoint, it's completely valid. The setback is that other men are competing for the same women to sire their children. That leads to the second method, which is to be protective of the women, and children, so that the man's offspring can survive to also reproduce, upping his chances of successfully preserving his brand of DNA in the gene pool. From a male standpoint, reproduction isn't biologically costly. The act of mating is almost trivial in terms of how much of the body is dedicated to hosting the organs, and the consequences of conception. It's a totally different story with women! The biological costs of being pregnant are massive! The sex organs for the act of copulation aren't terribly taxing in terms of how much of the body that makes up, but the cost of reproduction is huge. The breasts, uterus, ovaries, monthly menses is hugely taxing compared to just having male sex organs that are primarily for insemination. When a woman gets pregnant, she's far more vulnerable to predators, less capable of fending for herself, and the act of giving birth has had a deadly history for the human species. In other words, reproduction is much more serious for women than men, because women can actually die reproducing. For women, it is important find a man that is nurturing enough to take care of her and her children, but aggressive enough to protect her from other men, nature, and strong enough to provide a food, shelter, etc.

This is all building up to why men and women are "programmed" to think differently. "Programmed" is in paranthesis, because in reality, evolution doesn't program, or design, or have any intention at all. In the same way that things don't fall down to the ground out of intention, evolution doesn't create species that are better at reproducing out of intention. It just happens, because that's how the universe works. So going back to reproduction, men have two main methods of reproduction: impregnate as many as possible, even if it means getting past jealous or protective men, or impregnate a chosen one or few women and protect them and their children. For women, the most viable option is really only finding a strong man (not just his body physique, but his strength of will, ability to command respect among other men, and resourcefulness for solving problems), and forming a strong bond so he will stick around and protect her from other men, nature, etc.
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Pt. 3
The Dichotomy
Here's where the challenge lies. Men are constantly torn between wanting to spread their seed and protecting their children. Men are "programmed" to have sex with as many women as possible, particularly women who will bring about healthy children that will thrive. Since women are most capable of bearing children in their youth, men are attracted to youth. Since women are attracted to men that can be strong providers and protectors, the age of their partners is far more flexible. While women want men to commit 100% to them and their families, because it's biologically most advantageous to them, for men, it is not. For men, the most advantageous means of reproduction is to have as many healthy women as he can acquire and raise children with all of them, or at least find women that are strong and healthy enough to raise children alone. That's why attraction is so different for men and women. Men are attracted to what appears to be healthy, and long ago, couldn't be bothered for a detailed social analysis of a woman's psyche and her interconnection of social welfare and standing. He had impregnating to do. That's why he goes for what looks healthy. That amounts to left/right symmetry, healthy skin, physical prowess, youth, even the way she walks. Any hint of being unhealthy is a turn off, because men are programmed to sire healthy babies from healthy women. Compare that to what women look for: a man with strong will to get what he wants, a man who's physically strong and will fight to victory against all odds, a man who can be caring, sharing, and generous to her and the children they raise, but not a push over to others outside of that immediate family, and able to garner the respect of other men who will help protect him from danger, help him when in need, and promote his welfare, so he can in turn promote her welfare.

Monogamy vs. Polygamy
History has been filled with changing trends between monogamous relationships being the norm and polygamous relationships being the norm. The polygamous relationships have almost always been in favor of a man with many women. Although it doesn't make sense from a justice point of view, it makes perfect sense biologically. A man reproducing in a polygamous relationship with many women can sire far more healthy children than a woman in a polygamous relationship with many men. So then it comes down to what is better for survival of the children: polygamous relationships or monogamous relationships. When women are in monogamous relationships, the man is sharing all of his resources with just her. There's no competition with other women, so long as he's faithful. In a polygamous relationship, there's competition for resources for her and her children between the other mothers and their children. This helps to explain the vitriol women can have for other women that appear to be competition (or are in fact competition). As long as the male has plenty of resources to share, a polygamous relationship does little to hurt the females in the relationship. In fact, there are some advantages in the form of babysitting kids, help with chores, etc. However, even in the best of circumstances, there will always be a scarcity of the resource of his time. In other words, each new woman in the polygamous relationship cuts into the time he'd spend with the other women. If his ability to provide resources drops, then the larger the family, the more scarce the resources, and the higher the competition between the women. This has lead to our current state of monogamy as the societal norm. It's best for the women and the children, but not the men. Again, this is only in terms of his pressure to reproduce healthy and successful offspring versus her ability to produce healthy and productive offspring. They are at odds with each other.
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Pt. 4
Finally, let's talk about how this affects men, porn, masturbation, and women's feelings. Men are driven to have lots of sex with young and attractive women, with the need to be in a stable relationship only secondary to that. Women are driven to attract the best possible man they can get into a long term committed relationship. The fantasy for a woman is the slightly older than them guy who's got clout with all the men he meets, is a winner in every way, and under his fiery brazen strength of will lies a soft spot of nurturing love that he's willing to pour on her. For a man, it's the fantasy that beautiful young(er) women are taken in passionate lust over what he has to offer. Maybe this comes in the form of a tropical island loaded with beautiful women who haven't seen a man in years, or in the more pragmatic fantasy that all the women he knows secretly have a mad crush on him and want to have romantic rendezvous with him. The drives for men and women go back to their biological costs and mechanisms of successful reproduction. When a woman falls in love, she wants that man to be hers and hers alone. She doesn't want to share him with any other women, because on a deep down evolutionary level, she doesn't want to compete for the resources of his time, affection, and what he has to offer in terms of food, shelter, and in contemporary times, income. When a man falls in love, the whole paradigm is shifted, because he's not wired to be exclusive. It's not really an advantage for him to be wired that way. He can be in love with one, two, three, or however man women, and each relationship can be true, genuine and heartfelt. The fact that monogamy has gained traction as the staple to a happy, healthy, and ideal relationship is a huge victory for women in the struggle between men and women's desires to reproduce.

The Meat of the Discussion
So here's the part that women don't understand. How can a man say he loves a woman, but still be attracted to other women. The answer is he's simply wired that way. It's simply the nature of being male. We're "programmed" to reproduce as effectively as possible. While we absolutely have sincere and strong affections, emotions, relations, and dedication to women, us men do and always will have an attraction to other women. The fact that we try so hard to suppress that is an act of selflessness for us. Almost all men masturbate, and mostly to pictures, videos, or imagination of imagery. Almost all men have a desire for copulation with different women. It's innate. It's natural. What's unnatural is for a man to say that he's only attracted to one woman, and has only eyes for her. For men, this is almost certainly a self deception, if not just simply a deception. Men are attracted to many women, period. Being faithful to one woman is a social pressure induced by culture, religion, tradition, etc., and has almost nothing to do with what most men feel, because what we feel is the desire to have many women.
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Pt. 5
For a man to get caught masturbating to porn, or sexy ads, or Facebook pictures etc. is a moment of shame for him, because he feels like he's hurt her sense of self worth, and often times, that's the way it's received, but again it's all a matter of perspective. Men can't help that they're attracted to other women. They just are. From the time we hit puberty, we're all addicts to sexuality, and the desire to have sex with women (assuming heterosexuality). The fact that a man forms a solid monogamous relationship with a woman, chooses to spend time with her, chooses to come home every night to her, and chooses to stay faithful to her is honestly the best she can hope for. The idea of demanding that a man have only eyes for her is like a man demanding she only wear one style of outfit for the rest of her life. She could do it, but would it really be fair of him to chew her head off if she does a little window shopping in the mall, or looks at outfits online in the privacy of her own home on her own computer? If a man is faithful, i.e., he is solely dedicated to a monogamous relationship with her, where he cares about her welfare, spends his time, money, energy, and social capital in keeping her healthy and happy, then what's the big deal if he uses pornography, Facebook, print ads, magazines, etc. to relieve his innate desire to copulate with lots of women? If he's demonstrably faithful, is a folder of pictures on a computer really that threatening? Is a webcam website, or a porn web browser history, etc. really that much of a cause for concern? It's my personal opinion as a man that it's not. We're wired to think differently about sex, and that causes a huge disconnect that's hard to understand, but sexual desire for a man isn't totally synonymous with feelings of love and affection. We can have sex with girls we don't even really like, as long as they look attractive, and act and look sexy. For us, love enhances sex, but sex doesn't necessarily lead to love. For women, sex and love are coupled more tightly. Sex forms a stronger bond of affection and interest. Jealousy is a much stronger feeling after sex. Men can let go of jealousy far easier after sex if we aren't really that interested in the woman. That's why women don't get that a man can masturbate to many women, and still be madly in love with them, and want to be with them. When a woman masturbates to a different guy, my suspicion is she's losing interest to the one she's with. If she fantasizes about being with another guy, it's at the cost of her affection to the one she's with. That's just not the case for me. We don't want to replace who we're with, but rather want to add to what we've got. The fact that we only get one means that our drive to be with many women leads us to computers, strip clubs, magazines, and all other kinds of "trashy" media. It's not that we don't want to be with you, but that we're struggling against our own innate desires. As long as your man isn't actively seeking out another woman in the form of trying to communicate, send gifts, or anything of that nature, then my advice is to lay off the guilt trips, and try to be the best you possible so he'll continue to choose to come home to you each and every night, just as he tries to be the best he can be so you'll choose to be there for him each and every night as well.



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I'm pretty sure ur bf posted on here about how he does this lol
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Hello, that's so cool that you asked this cause it shows that you are willing to not assume things :)
People that do not assume things, but ask for advice and listen to and for wise counsel, are the most blessed people because they are always able to progress in life and are generally more successful at finding self satisfaction.

Nowhere opinion doesn't matter cause I'm one of those horrible guys that have spent many hours upon hours looking at porn.

I'm married.

Two years now.

Just had a baby three weeks ago and omg I love her so much. She's the most amazing little creature I've ever laid eyes on, I wish I could show you a picture, it's amazing. But I looked at a lot of porn just tonight. I'm at work. Wife's home breast feeding, giving all that amazing girl has to her daughter. Im 31, she's 21 on the 7th. I got so lucky, she's beautiful, and so down to earth, it's a crazy story of how we met.
I had given up.
I was born in 1981 and lived in a super religious minded environment. Jesus and the word of god (the bible, if somehow you don't know that, sarcasm off) were the only things that we kids were exposed to. I wasn't explained or communicated about sexuality or allowed to hang out with girls much because we all knew guys touching girls was bad and wrong. So they didn't give us the opportunity.
Year by year my fascination with girls grew. In kindergarten I remember seeing Rachel on the first day of class, and I remember my five year old head thinking ad body wanting to feel we body next to mine. Oh....the thought of if i could just get to touch her hair, gave this little boy such desire for her that a deep crush was formed. Then the Britney Spears era hit and we were suddenly surrounded by sexuality and pastors didn't know what to do so they said stupid things that they didn't understand like, "A man who masterbates, is a homosexual, because he's having sexual intercourse with a man" -Rev James Larson, San Diego, Cal.

Rediculous, and sad.

At the age of 7, I was laying in bed, now remember, I didn't know what a condom was, I didn't know what sex was, other than I knew we came from it, but not much more.
I lay there and started rubbing myself with my hand and the pressure of the mattress. After a couple seconds the most amazing thing happened, I experienced my first orgasm. It's was the most amazing feeling that shook my body, mind and soul. I didn't feel guilt because I didnt know what ha happened other than it was so cool.
I asked my dad about it and he said that's why my brother shakes his bed every night and won't knock it off. Please understand, these two masterbatory, sick twisted boys that just wanted to cum, were two innocent, well raised, god fearing boys.
And we jerked the turkey.
Spanked the monkey.
Drained the lizard.
I don't think Ive missed more than three or so days, since the day I first got off, and that only happened a couple times, and now I'm 31 so go do the math.

Oh wait, if your a girl reading this, that hates men because of our inability to be only attracted to you, don't do the math, cause I can assure you, you suck at math.

My wife has endured the pain of watching me have sex with her will looking at porn.

Hang me.

It was the most amazing gift a guy could ever get.

Ladies, those of you who are willing to listen to reason. I love you! Women are amazing when they aren't blinded by inaccurate thoughts.
Just like us men right?

Women do not hate men for being attracted to other women.

They hate when their man isn't attracted to them anymore.

That's the downside of porn.

It is not harmless.

It's a great enemy of our male/female connection.

But it's not men who are the problem any more than its the fault of women.

It's society that is perverted. Not you. Not me. We are simply victims who have fallen into this great magnet of lust.

Women give it. We eat it.

Just like the apple.

She gave it. He ate it.

We're still doin the same thing today, in a greater sense.

Map of the human genome?

One of them for sure.

I want to give up porn now, just cause I want to see my wife's beauty once more.

No one woman can compete with all women.

It must be you're patience and understanding that helps you guide your man to love you for the rest of his life.

If you can't help him with that, you'll end up like all the bitter women posting hate for us and going home lonely at night to their dog and tea. Vegan bitches.

Don't be a vegan bitch. They smell funny.

Love you girl, and I'm sorry for the pain we men give, we don't know how much we hurt you.
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y'all LaDiEs DeSeRvE BERRA
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i have been with my boyfriend almost 4 years we have gone through so much together , ups an downs of course we have 1 child together , when we first started dateing he was non stop talking to this girl witch was a female friend before we even meet her brother was working with him so she would always go in an grab lunch we have a massive fights because he new how i felt but he didn't take it for anything he lied to about talking to her ,once i got this feeling i saw on Facebook he mail her saying hey cutie i said to him wtf an had more fights i keep asking lets all do something he would say yes but ever do it ,when i was pregnant an 2 nights before still talking we had a fight we broke up we had couple weeks apart i went over his house we cryed an spoke about being together i was crying he got out of the room an said important going to my mates house so he did wiles ill was upset he saw the same girl to get advice from her we got back together 3 weeks after one year after he promised to never speak to her again ,then he had new work dented to add his female coworkers on fb ,then i starting going through his phone again porn was there hidden i would always indeed different ones i would ask him an there will be big fights he says no i didn't no it an shit ,couple months later still doing the same shit .then he said i am deleting Facebook so he did then told me don't go back on there it will activate it ,then a girl pope up he was talking to her i told her to piss off ,she did so there for he lied again couple months later i saw photos of girls with fake boobs on his fb , then he stated to look at girls in cars,shopping ,ennywere went we had a talk he said no babe i didn't i wonder everyday y he did an im not perfect for him that's y he looked at other young woman one time a girl walled passed he looked i watched him i asked he said yes i did we got over it then we had a real talk about everything he said i look at girls ,i said y do you compare them to me he said yes but personaliy i short funk this stupid dick i mean after all the shit we have Been through were still together but were a family & he needs to be a man,father not a stupid dick boy & i think now he relies he could lose his daughter an me
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I agree Porn is ok! But masturbating to women with clothes on is very disturbing! It makes you wonder what really goes through their head all day long and what they think about while around other people. I personally save the sex for the bedroom that is just the way I have always been, I am a very busy person all day and dedicated to what I do, honestly nonstop work, sometimes I need to pace myself.. anyway, I find this disturbing and unfortunately don't think there's much you can do about it, it seems it's just the way most "guys" are and seems to be turning that way towards females these days as well
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All else I can say is at least you asked him about it and not took it out on him other ways
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That's sick.u should talk to him so he can stop if not sooner or later u wil break up
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I appreciate this. I had. wanted to know how normal it was or just to put my mind at rest that my boyfriend still found me attractive (I'm pregnant and after finding skankishly dressed women on my boyfriends Ipod it broke my heart.) After reading the male perspective of this i suppose i could be a bit more understanding. We spend every hour not at work together so i know he doesn't have time to wank it, I suppose he just likes looking at them.. We have sex often but I've been feeling pretty fat and ugly lately and its been a punch in the
gut since i was used to being the pretty one, finding the pictures seemed like a confermation of that. I'm depressed over it but i can't blame him. I just wish he wouldn't save the pictures... Stupid skinny big boobed bitches :(
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