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23 Comments

I have been talking to this guy for a couple weeks now. We really seem to be hitting it off. He comes over my place a lot because he still lives with his parents. We have had sex and stuff and thats all good... But he never wants to spend the night. Even if its like 2a.m. he still drives all the way home(30min. drive). I really really want him to stay with me sometimes but he just doesn't seem to want to. I have tried to ask him what the problem is but he just kinda beats around the bush. I don't understand because I have a nice clean home with a nice bed and i'm a very easy person to sleep next to. He spent the night one time and everything went well other then the fact that we were a lil late for work the next day because we enjoyed waking up next to eachother so much. One of the reason he gave me is because he doesn't want to take things to fast... but its kinda late for that we have taken everything fast already. I don't see how spending the night together would change that. Please comment. Can anybody think of a logical reason why he wouldn't want to stay?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (23)
John_Doe (1305)
2006-06-21 12:26:13
Maybe he has a wife or a girlfriend he is cheating on. Ever think of that?
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2006-06-21 14:25:36
@: John_Doe
Good thinking but I'm sure thats not the case because we are all over eachothers myspace pages and everybody sees those. So I don't think thats the case. He really seems to be into me a lot. He even started crying at one point when we were talking about us. I'm so confused.
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Anonymous
2006-06-21 15:58:54
Is he dating youm, or is he just coming over to your house for the purposes of sex?? The answer to this question will tell you whether or not he really cares for you. Go the the book store and pick up the book he's just not thata into you By Greg Behreendt and Liz Tuccillo it will really help you out.
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Anonymous
2006-06-21 20:26:47
Perhaps he's embarrassed to come home early in the morning and having to face his parents.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2006-06-22 08:29:27
@: Anonymous
Yea you could say we are dating now. Last night we went out to eat together. But then ended up going out to the lake afterwards and having sex by the water. But he has come over my place and hung out before without having sex. Even though I think he still wanted too. But he didn't seem mad or anything that we didn't. After last night I am even more confused. He says he is confused too. I don't know if it's my trust issues or if I really am picking up on lies. I just really hope he is not a player or a lier. It's so hard to tell with him. I want a for sure way to prove he truely cares about me.
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John_Doe (1305)
2006-06-22 08:53:59
@: Anonymous (Story Author)
I have some more possiblities, but I'm going to be blunt, so don't take it personally:
1) He's gay, in the closet, confused and wont admit to it.
2) He has relationship issues and get's scared when entering a close, intimate relationship.
3) He is in fact using you for the purposes of sex and nothing else.
4) He doesn't want to go "too fast", so avoids doing so by "running away".

I'd have to say the second one I mentioned is the most probable, and the third one (although possible) is unlikely because he sounds like a decent, nice guy.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2006-06-22 09:05:39
@: John_Doe
I am 100% sure #1 is not it. lol But I do agree that it has to be 2, 3 or 4. I just hope it is 2 and 4. Does anyone know of a way I could find out without leaving him room to mislead me.
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Anonymous
2006-06-22 12:04:41
How old is he? Have you met any or his friends, his parents or siblings.

Has he ever mentioned having other relationships, or is this his first.

You say you've only known him a few weeks? This is a new relationship so that could be a big reason why he doesn't want to take things so fast.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2006-06-22 13:13:47
@: Anonymous
He is about to be 21 and I am 19. I'v met his parents and his best friend. But he says none of his relationships have ever lasted more than a few weeks. That is one of the things really worring me. From meeting his best friend I get the feeling that he goes through em very fast. He says they stop talking to him after a few weeks and thats why he wants to take it slow. He has a lot a lot of friends and is a really cool guy. Why would they stop talking to him??? It sounds like bullshit to me. And another thing he says he want to take it slow but I'v met his parents, best friend, dog, been in his room and in his pants. What else is there. I'm like shit just get over here and sleep in my bed with me. lol
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smartpatrol (2293)
2006-06-23 05:11:36
He may be a bedwetter
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Anonymous
2006-06-24 11:01:12
Or he could just prefer sleeping alone. I know I did when I went out with my g/f. I wouldn't spend the night at her place and when she spent the night at my place, I would sleep with her until her fell asleep and then would sleep on the couch or somewhere. Although, if he's beating around the bush about it, it's prolly not this case.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2006-06-25 21:07:26
@: Anonymous
yea ok so he has stayed over a couple times now. So I'm not worried about that as much. But last night I drank a little to much and started crying a lot and basicly pouring my heart out to him. It was so bad. And instead of trying to make me feel better or stop crying he started getting mad at me and even left to go home. He ended up coming back and spending the night because he "couldn't find his phone" and it was to last to look for it. But all I needed was a hug or something. My best friend just thinks he does this stuff because he is weird. I don't know what to think. But it seems to me if a person can't hug someone when they are crying then they must not have feelings for that person. He say and acts like he has feeling for me most of the time. But other times it seems like he hates me.
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Anonymous
2006-06-30 23:50:32
Hey girl you're wastin your time on this one. It's pretty clear all he wants is just the sex. He doesn't want the real you. Besides even if he might not be using you why do you think he avoids sleeping over!? He sure has some kind of a secret and i'm pretty damn sure it'll be too late by the time you find out bout it.
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amerithe (1834)
2006-07-06 23:49:54
You say you've spoken to his friends? You should look into that more. They probably know him better than they think. Ask about the previous girls. Ask about how he talks about you, if he does. If they get avoidant, won't talk to you, then they may well know something he won't tell you, like he's not the nice guy you think. And you could ask his parents, but at this age, parents knowing what he really acts like isn't the most common. Or maybe that's only true for every person I can think of. *shrugs*
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Dr.Doom (3284)
2006-08-17 12:44:28
I know what it is! You have bad breath. Fix that problem and I'm sure he'll want to sleep over and stay there rather then just use you as some skanky sex ho slave/lover.
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Basement (4027)
2006-11-07 22:12:26
You know what this shows above all? He isn't lazy! Since he lives with his parents, I would guess he just doesn't want to discuss things with them. He may also be feeling guilty after having sex with you, for whatever reasons. He gets in the mood, has sex, and goes home because he feels so bad about it. I don't know, I am not even close to a relationship expert, but thats what I would say.
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daniels_lover67 (4441)
2006-11-25 10:55:28
mayb he's just addicted 2 sex and the only reason y he likes u is bcuz he think's ur a whore and ur sort of 2 blame 4 that bcuz u keep doin it with him.
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Naughty_rascal (4558)
2006-11-30 18:04:53
@: daniels_lover67
My your such a paranoid lot, talk about judge jury an executioners. He probably dont want things to go so fast. Unfortunatly sex dosnt hold the same mysticsm as it did 20 years ago. It kinda means nothing to sleep with someone nowadays. Staying over is really a commitment thing, its one step away from moving in.
Give him a chance also if your really so untrustworthy of him that he's telling you the truth, should you be with him?
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deamond (5379)
2007-01-20 02:37:06
Hmmm... There's a book called "He's just not that into you" I haven't read it myself but it probably has some insites.


All he wants from you is sex. You decide for youself weather that's good enough for you. He probably has a fear of "commitment".
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DuFFy (5782)
2007-02-08 08:11:40
maybe his fokes are not alowing it wilst under there roof there rules or maybe as i man he feels it should be the other way around there by inadequate?
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mymunchkins (5639)
2007-03-23 00:52:22
@: Anonymous (Story Author)
My husband and I have been together for 9 years tomorrow. He doesn't hold me when I cry. It would be nice if he did, but he doesn't. But he is a very affectionate man otherwise.

He's young, give him some time and some space. Don't make it an issue, and it won't be one. His parents are probably a big issue. Is it your house, or do you also live with your parents?
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Knock_It_off (6904)
2007-04-01 20:57:47
Maybe he has a wife and kids at home?
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lacrosse988 (11451)
2007-10-30 17:20:28
Being nice, or he has a double life. lol
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