Help i have an abusive husband

8% Normal

29 Comments

No he's not normal and you don't deserve to be abused by anyone for anything. Call a distress centre. Start to develop a plan, including a safety plan. I think you should get out, but at least call a centre.

If you divorce him he will marry another and abuse her.

Kill him!

Call the police when he does it. File a report, get a protection order, and FILE FOR DIVORCE. Your MBA is a worthy goal - quit the guy and go for that!

ok not normal.

Start saving money is a separate and safe spot.

Start getting your affairs (paperwork, bills, finances etc) in order because you NEED to leave and you will never see him again.

The next time he ruffs you up, call the police and leave.

i cant believe this site allowed ur comment








call 911 while hes not home, have a cop wait out side in a unlabeled car and have the cop take ur husband into the station when he gets home

i dont know why people are saying its not normal, it acutually happens very often (not saying that makes it normal) but, its not safe, that's not how you show love no matter what. you need to get away and show him your not scared.

It's a tongue-in-cheek comment.

If you don't know what that means, Google it.

Didn't mean to kill, literally.

find help, look for help on the internet.

Call the police and leave a curtain open so they can witness your husband beating you. Then they come barge in and beat up his a@@

When he is not angry and things are going well tell him that the next time he hits you will be the last and if he hits you leave. There are places that will help you find one first so you know where you are going. People who love do not hit

Don't let this happen to you! I'd tell the cops..

poison his ass. hittin on a female is not cool no matter wat tha situation.

my fiance is the nicest guy in the world i fought like hell with my family to be with him and assured my parents that i would be in a great place i quit school left my family and got engaged....when i piss him off he goes way beyond limits...but its because i piss him off if im nomal and nice to him he is the same way with me...

maybe your husband is a nice guy with an anger problem...i think talking to him differently maybe changing your tone can fix the poblem rather then calling the cops and locking up someone you love

All the people who are saying to call the police are right. I don't know how old this thread is, but if you're still in the situation and things have not changed then you need to put a stop to the situation once and for all. The cycle of abuse will not stop without outside intervention. The next time he hits you, wait until your safe again and then call the police. You may not want to see your husband go to jail and be ran through the system, but that's exactly what needs to happen. Don't try anything while your husband is still around and angry. That could be very dangerous. Women have been seriously maimed or even killed trying to call the cops in the presence of an enraged abusive husband or boyfriend. After the police arrive you will have your bruises as evidence and they will take pictures and take your significant other to jail. More than likely, he will be sentenced to batterers treatment and possibly some jail time. Those convicted of battery of a cohabitant or spouse will lose their gun ownership rights for ten years and will be put on probation not to lifted until the treatment program is completed. Domestic violence therapy does work for some men with anger problems and poor emotional control. Wish you all the best :)

You make it sound like you are responsible ("when I piss him off").

IMO if your partner is violent get out. You are not responsible for anything but your own safety and well being. The violent person is the one with the great big problem.

Your husband may be the one people are always going to blame solely, however; realize that your actions probably contribute to this in some manner too. Do you have what psychologists like to call the "honeymoon period?" Is everything great between you two after one of these outbursts occur only to follow the same cycle later on?

Use the force and run to dagobah...

Devorce him and sew him and charge him for assult

Words to know:

NOTHING WARRANTS YOUR SPOUSE HITTING YOU.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

YOU DESERVE RESPECT.

YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

First, get that through your head. Realize that he will not change. You might think he changes, it's easy to think and want to believe it. So maybe he brings you flowers after he hits you and says sorry. Will that do much good if next time he's bringing flowers to your grave?

Next, call a) the cops, b) a distress center like WEAVE or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE).

Then, GET THE EFF OUT. You can deal with your family later. Take care of yourself first.

why did you get marreids at 22??! you need to say touch me again and it will be the last thing you touch!! call his family and tell them what he is doing to you!!embarrass him!! and then leave him!!

get out of that relationship as soon as you can and call the smokies, my ex got bashed up by her husband, and he used to treat her like shit, stupid ass wouldnt do it to her when she was with me cos he didnt have the bollocks to take me on, blokes that beat women are pieces of shit, who dont deserve to live, shoot the fuckers or stick them in with the pedos, let the great british prison sysytem beat those fuckers to death!
in all seriousness get away from him before he really hurts you honey

Well since you 'fought' with your family to get with him in the first place it is evident that they care about you. My sister went through the same thing with my mother and now she is just enduring the abuse because she is too stubborn to admit that she was wrong and leave him.

Your family cares about you, you need to reconcile with them. You could try to get them to send you a ticket back to India or something.

Don't endure the abuse. You do not deserve to be abused. No one does. You are a precious treasure that deserves to be taken care of.

I've gone through lots of childhood abuse (not sexual) myself. I don't feel bad for you though. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES HAVE YOU SEEN EVIDENCE THAT MARRIAGE IS BAD?! If you love someone, you shouldn't try to show it by marrying. My gf and I are both happy unmarried, because we don't think marriage has anything to do with actual love. It's like buying a wedding ring or flowers. Money and commitment are fake substitutes for love.
We're perfectly happy together, and we laugh at people who let their emotions do all the work rather than think a little bit.

You don't deserve his abuse
You deserve better ,I wish i had
a wife , He is so lucky
I am very loving ,caring and affectionate
I want marriage Plus , A baby(s) And a life long relationship , You need a new life But without him

At first, your entry sounded as if it were relevant to the subject matter at hand, but then it went into an anti-marriage rant. Being married or unmarried has nothing to do with abuse. Its all about lack of self control. The struggle for power, control, the inability to solve problems through communication, and witnessing abuse within the family as a child are the main contributing factors in domestic violence. Marriage; like everything else, has its pros and cons. There is no "evidence" that marriage is "bad". The most common reason that I've found for people deciding not to get married is if the relationship goes sour, it's easier to make a clean break. No divorce papers or court proceedings. In some states however, they consider you common law married if you've been together for seven years or more. So some or maybe all of the same rules apply for those couples.

Yes, money is a "fake substitute" for love, but not commitment. Commitment is the main reason for being in a relationship to begin with. There would be no point in being with someone if they weren't committed to you. Unless one has a special arrangement such as an "open relationship", then monogamy would be a commitment. However open relationships are more along the lines of having a "fuck buddy" and are hardly considered a real relationship in my book. Of course commitment goes beyond sexually related things. Consistently being the person one can look to for guidance and emotionally support is also part of the commitment. The willingness and desire to seek solutions for problems and keep the relationship strong is a major part of a commitment. One doesn't need to married to be committed to someone. Your choice not to marry is fine and is probably a good one for you, however saying that it's bad and is the cause of problems is absurd. Both married and unmarried couples have the same problems at about the same rate.

I'd like to point out that I'm not advocating marriage nor do I care if people get married or not. I just thought it was silly that you were suggesting that marriage in and of itself is the root cause of relationship problems. As if a happy couple with a healthy relationship that had been together for a long time had their relationship crumble all of a sudden over a legal document and ring. Like some kind of voodoo curse...get real

theres something called The goverment you call popo's they will come and throw him in jail " Violence against women Australia says no" trust me his a phyco

I am sorry it is not an anger problem, its not temperory and you are not over reacting. Get the hell out of there, seek help, move on. Noting, NOTHING in this worl justifies violence and nobody has the right to treat you this way. So please get out of such an abusive relationship

Lastly, you were trying to get your MBA but you can't write worth a damn. I don't think you would do that well in the business world and I think you should do what your husband would support and just get pregnant and go on welfare. Your a waste of fucking life and I feel bad for your parent.

I agree so much with you. Unfortuantely, women like this dumb skank aren't looking for a decent guy. IF she actually leaves this guy, she will follow the tingle in her pants more than the logical part in her brain and go with another trashy, piece of shit. She will not look at a nice or a good guy, she won't talk to an ugly but kind man. No, she will talk to a well built, arrogant know-it-all first.

I know because I have seen it before many times. Yes, its unfair but what can we do.