How can I stop the cycle of regret?

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I sometimes cant sleep because a cringe worthy moment pops in my head and I cant shake it off! To be honest I dont know what to suggest, but try and keep as active as you can, you are only alive in the now not the past or the future. try and forgive yourself, your your worst critic, Im sure others arnt thinking as much about you as you are, so shrug it off. your only human and we all make mistakes, and promise yourself you wont repeat these patterns. The thoughts may appear less often..
Good luck

Have you seen "The Big Kahuna?" There is a short bit of dialog you might find interesting:

Phil: The question is, do you have any character at all? And if you want my honest opinion, Bob, you do not. For the simple reason that you don't regret anything yet.

Bob: Are you saying I won't have any character unless I do something I regret?

Phil: No, Bob. I'm saying you've already done plenty of things to regret. You just don't know what they are. It's when you discover them. When you see the folly in something you've done. And you wish you had to do over. But you know you can't because it's too late. So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you. To remind you that life goes on. The world will spin without you. You really don't matter in the end. Then will you attain character. Because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself all across your face.

Honey, if you are always focusing on the things that you regret what are you missing today? everybody makes mistakes and everybody does things that they regret. The trick is to not let those regrets take over our lives. The mistakes we make and the regrets we have help us to become the person that we are. As long as you learned from the mistakes that you make, that is what matters. so my advice is forget regret and just focus on the now and what you can do better today. there is a saying from one of my favorite movies and musical Rent and it goes "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss."

Try this one thing. You've focused so far on the things you did wrong, how about thinking about the things that you did right? I'm sure there are many of those as well. Going to the right school, going out with the right girl, etc.

You're not the only one who has regrets. We all have regrets of some kind. The important thing is what have you learnt from those things you did wrong? The other thing you can do is talk to your friends and family about these regrets. They will probably say insightful things about them and make you feel better.

To cut the long story short, thinking about your regrets is not constructive!

What are you trying to change or accomplish?

Simply focus on the present moment whenever you catch yourself in a cycle of regret. "Be" with something around you, a chair or a table, anything. Get out of your mind for a moment and into the real world. Your past isn't real. The only thing that is real is right now.

Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle for more :)

omg, i am the exact same way. always regretting stuff. like every day. year after year. it's really annoying. i know i'm gonna regret stuff again soon. very soon.

Oh man, i thought i was the only one, i constsntly regret the things that i say or do or did not do. Sometimes these things would jut come back to me and i would feel so embarassed that i have to immediately make myself active to stop thinking about it.

I bet you are one of those really sensitive people, its okay so am i you just really care anout how you affect thngs.

That's easy. Stop drinking.

I'd like to take a quote from an inspiring show called The Dave Chapelle Show. "Just say, fuck it." What never happened is of little consequence. You can't go back and change it. What you need to do is live in the present, otherwise you'll always linger in the past and never do anything at each memorable interval of time. Do something. Thats about it. You did something, what do you have to regret now? If something happens then the gap is filled and you can move on to the next something and so on.
this is your current brain | this is what =cycle | you want=
....^---->| | .---------->
....|

I have the same problem, spend all day going over my regrets and fragments of conversations that I've had and events that have happpened to me all ways pop into my head.

Regret what? Be more specific. And maybe it's best to bring this up to a councellor, and not on blog forums. Think of it as this: Life is meant to be joyous. Learn to live with it's surprises, and make the best out of what you had. If you forget something. Its OK. If you did something you regret, forgive yourself, or ask other for it. Just remember to live life on your own terms Give to others. Be kind. Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.

when you are dead YOU WILL BE DEAD.
Now before I say anything else DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE.
You focus on the things that are past, things you want or need, things you can't forget.
These are all things that you have wanted liked and lived for, when someone dies for example don't mourn for them until you die for you will regret it.
So fight that voice that reminds you of sadness, do not simply delay it from speaking.
It is your mind and you have the power to control it.
I'm not talking about thinking or meditation.
I'M TALKING ABOUT RAW MENTAL POWER.
You are the only one capable of emptying your mind of this dark sorrow.
Maby I sound like a raving lunatic to others reading this comment or even yourself, but I am saying this bullshit to try to help you.

Start with your imagination, you have an empire with unlimited power in every thing you can think of.
use it.
Of course you will find this method completely useless.
But it is a good baseline for your war against yourself.
It is a war, and the part of you that is making you miserable will fight back and punish you for trying to break free.
Now while this part of you attacks it is actually more vulnerable that before.
And it has entered your realm.
You know the one were you have unlimited of everything?
Now hears the difficult part.
You have to create a fire in your mind, so powerful that your head even begins to shake, so powerful that nothing can withstand it, the crushing force of the two sides of your head attempting to smash together and destroy the brain.
this is the raw power I am talking about.
It is hard to achieve but once you achieve it it is your most powerfull ofence.
Your enemy will back off, and even come back and atack you, the moves your enemy makes can be unpredictable.
A war will rage between you for years.
Eventually you will win though if you are determined, because you can dominate yourself.
But after you win the war do not be relaxed.
You will have to keep your guard up because this evil is a part of you, you can not truly destroy it.
If you can't make the fire in your mind then forget it.

To create the fire:
squish your brain.
or compress your brain.
create stress in it until your head begins to shake because of the mental image you will find yourself creating.
then you need to learn how to aim this power.
I cant explain any better than this because what I speak of is in YOUR mental realm.

wow TheWierdo, that wa some long ass comment.
cootos for taking the time to type all that.
i just wanted to say that i always regret things i say or do, or vice versa what i don't say or don't do.
like why did i eat that, or why didn't i excersize, or why did i sit all night long on the computer..... the list goes on and on.
we all gotta try doing the right things in life, its an ongoing struggle to make the best choices, live the best way we can. its human to make bad choices, to make mistakes. learn from them and see what u can do differently next time.