Are You Normal?

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How do shy men act around women they like?
85% Normal
45 Comments

I have a question about the way shy men act towards women they like. I know someone at my office who is extremely shy. He won't look people in the eyes, start conversations, just tries to fade into the background. He was like this towards me when I first met him but after a while he started to open up to me, actually look me in the eyes briefly, (then looking away but still an improvement to looking at his feet). We also have conversations, he's shown me his quick wit and he frequently cracks sexual jokes. This blows me away because he is known to be the "quiet guy". I find him so fun to work with now, and I think he enjoys my company. Other coworkers have commented on how they've never seen him like this before and think he has somesort of "connection" with me, implying that he likes me. Could this be true?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (45)
Yes the chances are he likes you but as with most shy guys if you like him back you will need to make the first move, why not ask if he wants to go to the cinema or bowling something not to scary.
You are so lucky, I want a shy guy. You'll never have to worry about him cheating on you.
Sorry but that's wrong. You see there are 2 kinds of men...

One is the well-known loudmouth, "I'm the most important man here and I'm so funny" type. This guy is an a**hole yet women can't resist him because he uses the oldest trick in the book: Act like the man and women will respond in a positive manner.

The other is the oh "I'm not like everyone else because I'm actually shy and sensitive, I like poetry and walks on the beach and crying because I'm so sensitive and in touch" type man. Although not as common as the first type, he is equally deadly.

He might not get as diverse a group of females close to him, but those that do come close, are a whole lot easier to catch because he uses the second oldest trick in the book: He knows that females who hate guy one will flock to him like Pooh bears to honey.

There are genuinely shy men out there. But you won't see them, talk to them and most definitely you won't date them because they never, ever put themselves out there and if they do, they're not actual shy guys and either guy nr1 or guy nr2.
ahah Yeah I understand that there are those types of men, but this guy is not a "I like poetry and walks on the beach and crying" type of guy...thank god! He is shy, not overly sensitive, there is a difference. I honestly don't think it's an act. So chances are I will have to make the first move like Anasule said or nothing will come of it.
i am shy sometimes because i have really bad social skills and i hate looking like an idiot because of my awkwardness, especially in front of a girl i like it sucks really bad then
Not really. I am one thus I know how scummy we can be...
^ Whoa, Ike way-overanalyzed. Remember that other people are human beings like yourself; even the scummy/lying ones aren't that complicated.

I'm the same way as this guy, I think. I'm quiet around strangers until I become more familiar with them, then I open up. Though if some people are jerks or otherwise annoying I may never fully open up.

I can't say whether or not he likes you. He probably feels similar to how you do. But you're right that you'll probably have to make the first move or at least drop hints.
you ask a silly question you have to know he likes you probably but he is nervous it can be seen open your eyes
Have you seen him outside work? Maybe he just shuts himself down at the office but outside of it he could be a totally different person.
If you like the guy spend some time with him to get to know him better. No-one on here can answer this question for you, you obviously know him better than any of us do.
And be nice, he may be a f**king axe-murdering rapist.
I'm very very shy. Lack self esteem, you name it.
But I find girls who confident and slightly quirky give me confidence as well. Gives me the freedom to try and be my self because I don't fear what they will think.

Maybe you are skilled in that way! I'd take it as a compliment..
i doubt he likes you because of that. Because you have takent he time to speak to him he simply feels comfoprtable enough to be himself around you.
am also a shy guy. if this guy doesn't have a girlfriend he will most defiantly like you if he now talks 2 you. so i would say make your move or let him no how you feel.
If he cracked sexual jokes he probably wants to get your reaction and see if he can "tap that" if you will. Most likely he's not shy, he may have a social issue and scared to say something stupid so he doesn't talk at all. Alot of stoners are like that to because their free way of thinking clashes with the norm and they end up being cast out of normal average people clicks.
Um... most people make perverted jokes because they are funny, not cause they want to suggest something, especially if said person is a shy guy who only opens up to people he knows well. Note the word 'joke' is a key word here. Anyway, my guess is that he doesn't have any special feelings for you. Course, I don't know anything about him, so I'm only basing this on what I've read.
maybe he's socially awkward and you somehow break his awkwardness haha
I've met people like this before and have thought about it some, and the symptoms all seem to suggest high function asperger's syndrome. Not to be clinical (or jump to any wrong conclusions), but see the social interactions section below.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

My thought is once you understand this, and make a connection, you'll appreciate a person like this more.

Just one person's thought...
I need some advice on a shy guy myself. I have a shy guy in my class & I like him a lot & I think he may like me, but I'm not sure. He stares at me a lot, has tried to flirt w/ me, seems really jealous when I'm flirting w/ another guy, watches me w/ my guy friend, is around a lot, sometimes flirts w/ other girls & looks at me while he's doing it or after he has done it..& discussed the "Laws of Attraction" w/ somebody & looked at me afterwards lol any thoughts??
You are a jerk bidbox just because someone is shy it doesn't mean they are Serial Killer. I am a Shy person and yes when u apporach a very Attractive girl hard to talk you are so Nervouse to make our move. If u learn to get know her better then u will be yourself. I am currently in the process of Being totally shy to more of an Social person Any advice Girls/Boys will be Appreciated?
I gotta admit this one is my favorite question, only because i have a shy tendacy and its worked for me and against me at the same time!! But its only been such a relief when alot of people i look up to as great actors and musicians carry that same trait and have gone as having long careers in their professions based on how well they carry themselves..for example slash from gun's n roses, johnny 'mother f**kin' depp and benincio del torro!! just to name a few!! (ps..whatever happend to david lee roths solo career lmoa..i can;t stand that prick!!)
No, you are wrong.
There are more than 2 types of men, those are just the ones that you have encountered.
Watch out, he might be a sex maniac on the inside.

Just a tip, since nobody seems to notice what you said.

There are several types of shy guys.
I think it is kind of nice that he has connected with you despite his shyness, and you now see a witty & fun person, which he is. It says a lot about what a decent non-judgemental person you are. The other gossips in your office could learn a thing or two from you about just being a good person.
A shy man who loves you is indistinguishable from a normal man who is indifferent to you. Think of a man you see every now and then where you work. You do not know him very well, you may have never even spoken to him before. He walks by without making eye contact, or might make a generic nod of acknowledgement at most. This man may very well be completely and utterly obsessed with you. He may spend hours trying to find your myspace or facebook account on the internet, fantasizing about elaborate situations involving you, writing letters to you and then tearing them up, having pretend conversations with you in the mirror, or crying himself to sleep thinking about how hopeless it all is. But to you, he may be as obscure as the mail man or the cashier. Think about that.
Whether he is sexually into you or not, it's quite obvious he values you deeply as a human being. If you're interested, I wouldn't wait for him to make the first move because... well, it may NEVER happen with a guy like this.
Look at the body language. Send signals and see how he responds. Turn the conversation sexual and see how he responds.

You can't tell just because you guys have a connection. I used to be more shy and used to have female friends that I had connections with, but I didn't think of it as meaning any more than that...although, I must admit, I probably wouldn't have minded if it turned out to be more!
Maybe he's just shy at work. Maybe he knows that letting coworkers know too much about your lif is dangerous. Maybe he's read too many spy-novels. lol.

Just one day in the kitchen, go up to him and say you wann tell him a secret, then kneel down in front of him on both knees. Then look him dead in the eye... and see what he does.

Remember, shy guys at work doesn't mean they're shy anywhere else so don't be a nieve girl and think these types of guys won't cheat on you.
It depends on the guy really .You have different type of guys . You got the confident, the over confident, or the shy guy . The guy that barely shows any emotion what so ever . So it really depends on the guy and his personality really.
Yes he is shy but most shy men NEED a woman to bring them out of their shell and train their social skills, this might seem like a lot of work but he will always be loyal and will not shy away from you. Be kind if you want to break it up or don't want to take things further. A shy guy will always be happy to remain friends even after a bad break up. Meet up with him somewhere neutral and see where things go.

PS us shy guys don't really pick up on signals that well so if you want to jump him just do it and don't look back.
Yes he liked you. I am a shy guy, so I would know. =] It's hard being a shy guy. It takes a lot of work to be come socially "normal".
aww dats cute :P XD
If he's genuinely shy and he likes you, the normal cues in response won't be enough. If you have any interest, ask him out.

Conversely, if he shows interest and you aren't interested, don't do the "I'm really busy" stuff -- tell him straight out.
if hes trying not to make eye contact with you hes afraid that if he does he wont be able to do anything else
totally wrong sorry
Wow, omg. I am guy #2 and you have hit the nail on the head.

You are sharp.

But there still is an element of truth to my shyness, no doubt about it. If I had a choice about it, I wouldnt be like this, so yes I am shy, but underneath that I am actually not if that makes any sense.
1 to what ThatFred said.

I get so confused when I ask girls out (yeah, I am shy, but I force myself to do it to help me get out of my shell a bit), and it always seems that they like me, and say yeah sure or soemthing. Then when I follow up it doesnt happen.

It is so much better when people just tell you 'no im not interested thank you', at least you know where u stand. Otherwise a shy guy will be wondering for ages and ages 'what did i do, she said yes, then no, what changed' going crazy analysing it.
@: mcguff
Funny thing about that is, I'm a very shy guy, and I'm having troubles asking out a girl I've known for a very long time. Also, I have Asperger's Syndrome! Officially diagnosed, as well.

Also, for the missus that posted this question in the first place, you should totally see if he wants to go do something outside of work sometime. Autistic people also have a tendency to keep their various 'lives' (i.e. social, work, school) seperate, and if you can get him out of that shell, he may open up even further.
Yeah I agree 2 "types"- that's a real over simplification.

I'd say take it in small steps. Go out to lunch, to an event you might both like etc.. If you have just friends feelings or romantic feelings between you, you'll likely know.

I do agree, however, that you may need to lead. On the other hand, this guy is not all the office sees & may have more surprises yet.
he's desperate girl. make him yours. he'll do whatever you want but will probably freak when you break up with him so give him a wrong name.
You know lady when a shy guy opens up to you it means that he appreciates you making him crossing over his fear of oppening up to others and get rejected. It may be a way of thanking you. I doubt he realy loves you but he has strong feelings for you. If you continue he will feel like he loves you but when he truely crosses that shy phase things will become clear for him. That is when he will know for sure if he loved you realy. I say that it is a risk that you should take only if you truly love him.
simple awnser ask him out. because 9 times out of 10 unless he gay he probally wondering the same thing about you. just scared to make the first move.
You are totally wrong!! You are saying there is only two types of men and that they both would cheat on you, that means all men would cheat, and NO, sensitive men wouldn't cheat on their wives.
Initially, the guy will be shy of course. But if there's constant communication, he surely will open up to you. He'll wanna talk to you, get to know you if he really likes you.
this dude digs u. go 4 it
Yeah most shy guys will avoid relationships as if they were the black plague most will crack under a little pressure speaking from experience here, don't play hard to get after you have carefully positioned them into a conversational corner, the hard part is making sure you let them know the feeling is mutual with out scaring them off.