Are You Normal?
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How to forget someone you love?
I really like/love/have a crush on somebody. Pick whatever.
Anyway, I'm getting desperate and I can't seem to function properly ever since I met him. I can't stop thinking of him and I don't know what to do but it is really annoying when I have to study and do other necessary things. I'm also in a bad mood all the time and am constantly day-dreaming. This is going on for about four months and it really burdens me.
I know we will never be together yet I can't prevent my feelings for him.
So I just wanted to know how can you stop loving/strongly liking someone? Is there anything that helps??
Anyway, I'm getting desperate and I can't seem to function properly ever since I met him. I can't stop thinking of him and I don't know what to do but it is really annoying when I have to study and do other necessary things. I'm also in a bad mood all the time and am constantly day-dreaming. This is going on for about four months and it really burdens me.
I know we will never be together yet I can't prevent my feelings for him.
So I just wanted to know how can you stop loving/strongly liking someone? Is there anything that helps??
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Do you think it's normal?
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People often have tunnel vision and become preoccupied with one person which often builds frustration and can make us miserable. Such infatuations interfere with our daily activities and are counterproductive to happiness. Get out and meet new people, join clubs, go to parties. Rigorous exercise is also terrific to rest your mind. Go out and jog a few miles or swim laps in an indoor pool.
This special person is not the only one who will capture your heart, there are plenty more just around the corner if you are open minded and give other people a chance. In time, this special guy will eventually fade away, like a distant memory.
Thank god I know you from that weird website. So I can prepare psychologically. Duh.
Obsess much? Yeah, very, despite millions of hobbies.
And what about you, rude much? YEAH.
It just takes a lot of time and will power.
I have faith in you... you can do it!
lots.
Don't let them fool you, some things you will NEVER get over. I even thought about killing myself. Then I Iound a VW beetle. Now I'm happy.
Jess
stop seeing him completely.
delete him everywhere u can on the computer.
destroy every single peace of memory u have of him anywhere.
Even burn it symbolically.
do this and you'll be a lot better of in a month.
@poster
Try focusing on something else, I know it's hard but you should try, like do a sport or something that means you won't be sitting around, because that's when your mind starts to wander.
and be aware that hes out of your life forever.
and also be aware that this guys is nothing unique,
u just think he is.
i cant stop thinking about her shes my life shes my everything. too bad i cant discount this rage on u now u so deserve it; for the pain of the others
if you really like someone, go for it.
i know its hard to tell your feelings.
i've had plenty of that in my teen years.
but if you really want to forget...
busy yourself.
do stuff, get active, and be involved.
doing other stuff will help your mind keep away from him.
btw, don't cut yourself.
damn love hurts yo.. :/
Paula.. :/
U should know that the course for true love did never run smooth and for now what is important is not love but your career/studies. Love can still wait no worry ;). U need emotional support, surely close friends can provide it. Learn to become emotionally strong and independent, because believe me life really sucks... I actually met someone else whom I loved more than my first love, but the relationship does not seem to hold and I don't feel its two-way, but so what! Just get over it, stop hurting yourself, I'm sure I'll definitely meet the One who will love me like I would love her, it just requires patience ;). Hope my story would help those reading it.
dont jump into another relationship because it will be empty and hollow. you will just have to let time be the healer.
Works overnight.
But mostly I know that he will be in pain for the rest of his life knowing that he broke up with me. Just think about that, THEY"RE the one's that made the mistake, not you.
But who said love was easy?
A night off with your friends and you should be ok.
What you said above was exactly what happened to me! I'm actually flabbergasted by the similarities. Anyways... I couldn't stop thinking about this guy for months as well and yes it did interfere with my studies- but not TOO bad. If I really concentrated and said to myself, "Forget it. He doesn't even know me and what I have for him is ALL INFATUATION. What are the chances that he'll be with me anyways?"
If I really did "love" him, then that means that we knew each other very well and I'm accepting his personality.
He's not the only guy in this world and we have more impt. things to be doing as well right? Moreover, when you're daydreaming about him, you're only assuming of "who he may be" rather than "who he really is".
Love is not clingy. Infatuation is. I don't know if it's because of my personality, but after months of crushing on him, I kind of got tired of being so hung onto this guy. Then it's like you all of a sudden just move on. But don't wait for this to happen. Take action now and focus all your energy into FAMILY, FRIENDS, EXERCISE AND SCHOOL. That is a healthier lifestyle. Take yoga. I'm serious; it may help.
I was unfaithful with the person I cannot stop thinking about and could have been with him, but my guilt held me to the one I have been with for two years. I know that sounds terrible, and I feel terrible for it. I wonder all the time "what if" I had chosen to go with him. Now he will not speak to me (for good reason) and I am left with heartache, and I just hope one day all of this will make sense. I am a big believer in fate and "everything happens for a reason", but I cannot make sense of this; how could I have had such a great connection and amazing moments with a person, as short-lived as they were, only for them to be gone so quickly? What was the point?? It's frustrating.
What sucks even more is that I'm a guitarist, band and everything, but the music just keeps reminding me of her because thats what we connected on in the first place, and I guess I keep writing in hopes that she'll finally take notice of me. I guess in a weird way she's also my Muse, how great huh.
What sucks even more is that I'm a guitarist, band and everything, you'd think that would help keep my mind off of her, but the music just keeps reminding me of her because thats what we connected on in the first place, and I guess I keep writing in hopes that she'll finally take notice of me. I guess in a weird way she's also my Muse, how great huh.
Thank you very much for all your feedbacks, makes me feel better. I am facing the same problem. I have a girl friend who has been in love with me since the past 9 years. We had a great relationship until I travelled abroad for work away from her. I met a girl here and after sometime I started liking/crush/love towards her. I had lots of work to do and I was not able to concentrate on my work/ finish my projects/get sleep/eat food etc.
I finally informed both of them about this and my girlfriend got really upset about this. The girl never had any feelings for me, but still its been really really hard to forget her. Its damaging my work life and I have a totally messed up life. I have no idea how long this will go on its already been some months. Hope to get on with my life and true love soon and be happy forever.
i found myself in the shoe of your ex gf... i've been in love in someone for 7 years... i gave myself to him... the bastard recently dump me for someone else who he just met some 3 weeks ago... i'm not here to judge you.. perhaps you are different from my ex bf... i just wanna tell u it hurts a lot to see someone you love so deeply falling out of love with you for other people... well its life... we deserve better people as well as you... someday we'll all look behind and we'll say well it was just some sort of infatuation...
I'm really sorry to know you had the same problem as my gf. I totally agree with you and I would not like to hurt any sentiments of my gf anymore. She is not my ex but I'm lucky I still have her since 9 years and still going stong. Yes she is hurt very much by my liking towards other person. I hope I forget everything about this new girl in my life and give all that I can to my gf.
Thanks Again....
i cant get him out of my mind.. and i tried everything to get over him even i had a bf but still hez in my mind..
what should i do??
Can everyone tell me how to get her back. I am willing to do everythings. I will give up my life for her. I will do it. I will fix my problem to love her more and her family more.
Please help me.
Love u 'L'
Love hurts, but dont close yourself to new things. Always remember that all things shall pass...time is your number one friend.
(: yeyaaha!
i tried everything to stop thinking and loving him but, still nothing ever worked.
he was muh first true love, you dnt stop loving your first true love no matter what they did to you. infact you can never stop loving someone you truley loved. but i think that you should jst ask the guy out and see what happens, if it's meant to be than its meant to be.
I want to forget about my ex too
I broke up and now I'm talking again to the guy that I've always loved and it seems fine.. I don't even find myself falling for him like before (like from 2 years ago)
Hope it works for you.. Give it a shot.. know him better if you're not that close.. maybe you'll find something that would pull you away for him or brings you closer.. you never know unless you try!
its not immpossible, and you never no wat could happen! theirs no way you can get over him unless you know what could reallly happen.... if he says, so you'll be crushed for a little bit, but you WILL get over it eventually and move on to someone even more wonderfull
Get over that.
And your gold.
i told this story to the coworker i dated who is now my current bf for over a year... i was happy to know he was very understanding... he basically said.. if you want to talk to someone, go talk to them. no one tells you who to vent to but yourself. and if your so called best friend cuts things off this way, that's not a friend to begin with.---- i agreed with this viewpoint.. and yet i found it hard to forget my ex-best friend because he just flipped 180 after all the times he's been supportive of me
our group of friends eventually split because of this awkward separation and things are no longer what they used to be. i miss the good old times and it's depressing to know you can't go back.
i no longer talk to my ex-best friend since his actions have told me that he doesn't want to be around me. i often reminded myself that this same ex-best friend wasn't exactly a good friend at the end when things split... in one of our final conversations... i can tell he was looking out for me and telling me i didn't know his coworker too well... but then he went off physically measuring up the guy as if it was his place to compare. The last few times i communicated with him... things didn't make sense and i sensed more jealousy out of his actions rather than a friend who was supporting me...around this time, he told me he didnt believe in my capabilities of dating and said to prove him wrong.. n show him that his coworker and i would blossom into a great couple
Read on... (2 of 3)
It's been a little over a year since this split has happened. I'm still with my bf (my ex-best friend's coworker) and still disturbed till this day on why things turned out this way... I have older brothers.. and if they were ever disappointed in me, they wouldn't give me a cold shoulder. If my best friend was disappointed in me like a mentor was, I don't think he would have been cutting off the entire friendship this way.
i tried to put myself in his shoes and think... what if he was distancing himself for my sake as well? but the next question becomes, why did he need to get so dramatic about me dating his coworker?
when it comes to my bf... ive been happy with him and he treats me well... i do wonder whether ive reached that point where i can say i love him... i feel that it's still growing... and i think to myself... what if my feelings towards this bitter end with a person i used to love is the thing that is slowing down my progression from moving forward? its odd because i have dreams of the past and i feel this whole grudge that im dying to get rid off... as much i hate what happened in the past, i can't bring myself to say i truly hate the person i loved.
i want my relationship to work... and i no longer want to hold on to something in the past... so i wonder, what's the best way to forget my ex-best friend? i deleted his sn... got rid of pictures.. and no longer associate myself with his family... i avoid even talking about him if possible... at least a year has passed and my mind is still driven crazy with him... somehow, my feelings are bottled up and i want it gone.
I heard a saying "to get over someone is to get on top of another." I have to find somebody else to occupy my mind or find a new hobby, meet new people. Another saying "action is the enemy of thought."
I know exactly how you feel. I broke up with "the love of my life" in my senior year of high school. And from 2005 to a couple of months ago she's always been in the back of my head. I'm married now and it took me a long time to realize that was just a stepping stone to where I'm at now. However, it did help me to talk to her again and ask her why we broke up and if she still ever had thoughts of us. I needed closure. I got it and now I'm a better person for it. So maybe you should talk to him. Tell him, how you've been feeling and ask him if he's ever felt that way. Be prepared for the worst or the best. Either way you will know where he stands and you can move on with or without him. If he doesn't see what's special in you, then he's not for you.
I really think it never goes, but it does diminish a lot with time, plus when you will find someone who will love you like you do. That's it!! You'll just think He/she did not deserved you!
pick out there bad features and overplay them!
cause an argument with them!
Get with a random!
I did this with my pet hamster. he was good.
I dont mean to sound harsh, but what you are feeling at the moment is probably not love. The above were all signs of infatuation, a build up of hot air.
A useful remedy is time. Give yourself time to let some steam off. Avoid seeing him or things that remind you of him. Give yourself some YOU time. Go out,meet people, live life. Through the process, time will allow him to fade and let in someone new!
It will be difficult at first, but if you persist, it will be easier as time passes. But remember, stay motivated! You probably wont forget this person, but sooner or later, this person will not mean much to you. Just think, when you look back in 20 year's time, will this person still matter?
Hope that helped, and good luck! =)
I am 22 yrs old guy i fell in love with this female who works with me we met 3 months back and i fell in love with her within a months time when i told her my feeling she denied on me stating that she had a past relationship of 3 months and that she is not yet out of the trauma of loosing some one she loved so i stopped talking to her completely however i kep on trying to some how know thing about her by asking to her friends after a month the day comes when she tells me that she feels even she loves me i was like in heaven its the thrid month going on now she tells me one day that her ex bf called up as he was feeling bad tht she did not wish him this fucker who left her as she did not allow him to sleep with her he told her on her bday that i cant live with u as u were just a sex play toy for me which i could not get a fukking apportunity to sleep with so back to the story she say i dnt wanna reply but she does reply back to him she says she loves me a lot more then any thing nd she hatest hat guy so why is she replying back to that fuckker i love her so much that i cnt live with out her wht to do some one plzz help
Jack Daniels
I met a girl like 2 years ago...and we were very close since then. we used to chat a lot...talk over the phone for hours...miss each other so much..she said that I was the best person to happen in her life...we had feelings for each other and I know that..we both take care of each other so much...so i just went ahead and told her my feelings...she said she likes me and that's it..she said she cant be with me due to some reasons.I felt so lost....it has been 6 months now and there hasn't been a day that i dint cry at my fate. No matter what i am doing i always think about her. She takes care of me so much that she feels bad when I am down and says that she cant see me like that. She says i need to move on. I feel even worse when she asks me to move on. someday suddenly an old friend of her met her and they started talking to each other.She said she likes him and his family and have no problem with him.I was so helpless...I don't know what to do. She isn't talking or calling me as much she used to do initially. I am in the most important phase of my life applying for jobs and studying...and i don't find any interest in doing anything..She is even helping me finding jobs. She wants to see me in a good position in life without her. all i in my life is her love and how can I be happy without her..its so sickening..I cant avoid her for she is a true sweetheart...she says everyone person has a different importance in her life...even now she cares for me....please help me overcome this problem of mine...I know I cannot have her in my life...
0-10=obviosly your too young,drop it
10-15=just a hormone missunderstanding
15-20=highschool love,you got somethin goin,keep at it
20-...=if it hurts to breathe when your not with him/her GET THEM AS FAST AS YOU CAN!...
those are some strong and absolute statements
I have found from experience that Perception is reality
why do you feel so strongly about this person...
is it truly them or the Idea they represent?
Most of my Love(s) were almost completely unexpected and i'm almost positive from the outside looking in seemingly impossible match up but i have always been persistent and when i want to be with someone i don't give up easily...
say don't give up on LOve if it is actually love you are feeling
be the best you can be for yourself and be positive things will work themselves out,
ultimately forcing someone to feel or not feel something that they can't or won't is only going to end up in sadness.... even if that person is you.
If you wanna take a risk, just come right out and tell him. The results could be either amazing, or devastating.
imho, if someone doesn't want you thats their right and you have to accept that. and if they think they're to good for you, f them anyway.
i disagree that its as easy as finding someone else. that is part of it, but you need to really try to stop being obsessive and to realize that you don't need him and just stop feeling emotionally towards him as much as you can.
What you have is a terrible unbalance. It happened to me many times, and the best way to cure this is to focus on your life purpose. Be so engaged in this that you won't have time for people that wish to drain you (take your attention). Give your attention (love) only to those that truly deserve it.
Trying to forget someone you love is just like trying to forget someone you never knew. Useless and impossible.
ts been from 2 years and i still think about him he is always in my mind. everytime i see him i feel like im melting
when he looks at me it hurts because i know that he doesn't love me , or maybe he forget me , perhaps he fall in love wiz another girl and just dumped me ! I rly duno its just that.. he was my first true love and until now i cant't forget him , and i think now that he doesnot even think of me ! He's older than me for 2 yrs ! But u know what rly rly SUCKS that he is my cousin i see him every year cuz i live in a country aslo him and we see each other obly one month a year.But before when we were kids GOD ! its was rly the LOVE that month that we see each other every day every day can u beleive that just everyday from 10:00 a.m until midnight and sometimes until 4:00 am. the next day , but still our love spented 2 years , well to be more acurate 4 months but we were talking alot in the net or da phone, and iam not stupied that iam dreaming or something , i was feeling it that is intersted but just a sudden he stared to walk away ! Its true that there was nothing serious between us , but stil there was feeling & when just stared to walk away at first i thought that he was mad on me or something but then i duno i think he was playing with me or something or maybe it was rly true love but when we grow up ... it disappeared.
iam rly tired from the net cuz i intered alot of websites in order how to forget ur love ! But still it didn't make any sence !
I just wish that someone tells me what to do and not to say to me ... Oh, all people like that ur gona forget him don't worry ! I hate that sentence !
Well, hope that someone will read my story and give me his/her opinion ! =D
now let me tell my story my profession is doctor after 1yr of sincere studying for ms and md exams i did not a seat of my choice now i have joined a nursing home with a decent salary.i meta girl who also work in the same hospital intially i never found her attracting as we used to see only for a brief period .once we both were on same shifts where the patient inflow was little less.so we had lot of time to talk in the mean time we became close .i know more about then she knows me .she never bothered to ask me what i am .but on the other hand she told everything about her like and dislikes .she also told that some one hadfallen for her with whom she was not intrested in her that infact he was torturing her by physicaly .now some how every thing settled.she also told that she was engaged to some one and it was broken for some reason 7 days before the marriage.from my observation she is jovial and out going she spaks tom everyone with same amount respect and dignity .some times i feel that when ever she speaks to me she give much importance .we used to msg a lot latter on from some reason msgs has reduced.but during work time we talk a lot .once her mother came to our hospital thet moment see saw me she told to her i am perfect to their family .it was nice feeling but friends told she would have told in genral not to take it seriously .next day all of sdden that i came in her dreams when everyone was there .this knocked me out on the spot i was flying high untill next day that she told some people had come to ask for an alliance that their birth charts matching she doesnot know much about that and she had told me that whom ever her parents like she is ready to marry .but it hurt me lot i wanted to tell her thatd i am intrested in her but i did not .all this days i did not tell because i just wanted to know her completely andalso let her know about me.but right now iam running out of time should i tell her that i love her . iam confused i really like her but i dont know whether she likes me or not? but atleast her behaviour made me feel that she is interested in me but i never asked about it because i did not want prejudge things wat if she had different meaning to it for her behaviour all in all confused.......
1.sit and think negative points about her and magnify to out proportion
2.when ever u disscuss a topic try to oppose their view no one likes to be criticised
3.indulge in some extreme sports where adrenaline rush is more
4.meet ur friends as often as possible discuss with them and see the response they start abusing her fr making u like this.like this people these are the one who really think about ur happiness not love .love is only to satisfy their need.because friends are the ones whom always be with you forever and their relationship never changes.love doesnt stay for a long some day it has change to some other things either you marry or not.so dont worry if you are not getting the person u like think that god wants u bigger and better.
I was reading your comment. I think out of everyone you might be the one to really HELP me. I loved someone , I screwed up and lost him. Few years later we met again ( he lived out of the country)He again promised to marry me after I told me how sorry I was that I would be a better person etc etc. Then we hooked up but once he left the country 6 months later he broke my heart again. He wanted to be friends I cut him off for some time and jumped into a arranged marriage. Was happy to be a wife but then the man I married turned out to be negative minded about people, abusive verbally and we are not even sexually compatible. He has nothing to say to me besides "I don't know" "Nothing" and "What's going on ?" Now I am stuck with a man I do not love. I fight with myself every day to try and love him BUT I FEEL NOTHING FOR HIM. DISGUST IS WHAT I FEEL. I am currently living in a different state from my hubby due to my work and I feel so peaceful. I pray to GOD to always keep me away from him coz whenever he shows up I end up by the second day hating him and thanking God that he lives away from me. I want to turn my feeling around for him. I WANT MY MARRIAGE TO WORK. CAN u PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me some advice on how I could change myself to be a better wife. And to cap it all I think nonstop of my ex coz he was a much better person Atleast we were both similar with a lot of shared interests. My hubby and I don't share anything in common. I am almost completely sure I don't want a divorce . I don't have kids. I want to improve my situation. I REALLLY need your help
just believe in yourself , there are still guys can love you. :) ...you just need to move on... i know its hard , but trust me nothing will happen if you still think of him
I have been dating a guy for three years, and a long distance relationship because separate college,
currently we broke up, and for the second time, after breaking up, he immediately got a new girlfriend within two weeks. And the girl who became his girlfriend is his best friend who is always make me jealous.
And now I still cant forgive them. they have cheated me, I hate him and his girlfriend, I always pray to God that I can get through these bad times
just kidding, just sleep a lot.