I really like/love/have a crush on somebody. Pick whatever.
Anyway, I'm getting desperate and I can't seem to function properly ever since I met him. I can't stop thinking of him and I don't know what to do but it is really annoying when I have to study and do other necessary things. I'm also in a bad mood all the time and am constantly day-dreaming. This is going on for about four months and it really burdens me.
I know we will never be together yet I can't prevent my feelings for him.
So I just wanted to know how can you stop loving/strongly liking someone? Is there anything that helps??
People often have tunnel vision and become preoccupied with one person which often builds frustration and can make us miserable. Such infatuations interfere with our daily activities and are counterproductive to happiness. Get out and meet new people, join clubs, go to parties. Rigorous exercise is also terrific to rest your mind. Go out and jog a few miles or swim laps in an indoor pool.
This special person is not the only one who will capture your heart, there are plenty more just around the corner if you are open minded and give other people a chance. In time, this special guy will eventually fade away, like a distant memory.
Thank god I know you from that weird website. So I can prepare psychologically. Duh.
Obsess much? Yeah, very, despite millions of hobbies.
And what about you, rude much? YEAH.
It just takes a lot of time and will power.
I have faith in you... you can do it!
lots.
Don't let them fool you, some things you will NEVER get over. I even thought about killing myself. Then I Iound a VW beetle. Now I'm happy.
Jess
stop seeing him completely.
delete him everywhere u can on the computer.
destroy every single peace of memory u have of him anywhere.
Even burn it symbolically.
do this and you'll be a lot better of in a month.
@poster
Try focusing on something else, I know it's hard but you should try, like do a sport or something that means you won't be sitting around, because that's when your mind starts to wander.
and be aware that hes out of your life forever.
and also be aware that this guys is nothing unique,
u just think he is.
this hasnt failed me yet
Lies.
Get rid of most of the stuff s/he gave you.
Now, go do something crazy.
Have a one night stand.
Do some drugs, get crazy.
Bet, you'll forget him or her.
i cant stop thinking about her shes my life shes my everything. too bad i cant discount this rage on u now u so deserve it; for the pain of the others
if you really like someone, go for it.
i know its hard to tell your feelings.
i've had plenty of that in my teen years.
but if you really want to forget...
busy yourself.
do stuff, get active, and be involved.
doing other stuff will help your mind keep away from him.
btw, don't cut yourself.
damn love hurts yo.. :/
Paula.. :/
U should know that the course for true love did never run smooth and for now what is important is not love but your career/studies. Love can still wait no worry ;). U need emotional support, surely close friends can provide it. Learn to become emotionally strong and independent, because believe me life really sucks... I actually met someone else whom I loved more than my first love, but the relationship does not seem to hold and I don't feel its two-way, but so what! Just get over it, stop hurting yourself, I'm sure I'll definitely meet the One who will love me like I would love her, it just requires patience ;). Hope my story would help those reading it.
dont jump into another relationship because it will be empty and hollow. you will just have to let time be the healer.
Works overnight.
But mostly I know that he will be in pain for the rest of his life knowing that he broke up with me. Just think about that, THEY"RE the one's that made the mistake, not you.
But who said love was easy?
A night off with your friends and you should be ok.
What you said above was exactly what happened to me! I'm actually flabbergasted by the similarities. Anyways... I couldn't stop thinking about this guy for months as well and yes it did interfere with my studies- but not TOO bad. If I really concentrated and said to myself, "Forget it. He doesn't even know me and what I have for him is ALL INFATUATION. What are the chances that he'll be with me anyways?"
If I really did "love" him, then that means that we knew each other very well and I'm accepting his personality.
He's not the only guy in this world and we have more impt. things to be doing as well right? Moreover, when you're daydreaming about him, you're only assuming of "who he may be" rather than "who he really is".
Love is not clingy. Infatuation is. I don't know if it's because of my personality, but after months of crushing on him, I kind of got tired of being so hung onto this guy. Then it's like you all of a sudden just move on. But don't wait for this to happen. Take action now and focus all your energy into FAMILY, FRIENDS, EXERCISE AND SCHOOL. That is a healthier lifestyle. Take yoga. I'm serious; it may help.
I was unfaithful with the person I cannot stop thinking about and could have been with him, but my guilt held me to the one I have been with for two years. I know that sounds terrible, and I feel terrible for it. I wonder all the time "what if" I had chosen to go with him. Now he will not speak to me (for good reason) and I am left with heartache, and I just hope one day all of this will make sense. I am a big believer in fate and "everything happens for a reason", but I cannot make sense of this; how could I have had such a great connection and amazing moments with a person, as short-lived as they were, only for them to be gone so quickly? What was the point?? It's frustrating.
What sucks even more is that I'm a guitarist, band and everything, but the music just keeps reminding me of her because thats what we connected on in the first place, and I guess I keep writing in hopes that she'll finally take notice of me. I guess in a weird way she's also my Muse, how great huh.
What sucks even more is that I'm a guitarist, band and everything, you'd think that would help keep my mind off of her, but the music just keeps reminding me of her because thats what we connected on in the first place, and I guess I keep writing in hopes that she'll finally take notice of me. I guess in a weird way she's also my Muse, how great huh.
Thank you very much for all your feedbacks, makes me feel better. I am facing the same problem. I have a girl friend who has been in love with me since the past 9 years. We had a great relationship until I travelled abroad for work away from her. I met a girl here and after sometime I started liking/crush/love towards her. I had lots of work to do and I was not able to concentrate on my work/ finish my projects/get sleep/eat food etc.
I finally informed both of them about this and my girlfriend got really upset about this. The girl never had any feelings for me, but still its been really really hard to forget her. Its damaging my work life and I have a totally messed up life. I have no idea how long this will go on its already been some months. Hope to get on with my life and true love soon and be happy forever.
i found myself in the shoe of your ex gf... i've been in love in someone for 7 years... i gave myself to him... the bastard recently dump me for someone else who he just met some 3 weeks ago... i'm not here to judge you.. perhaps you are different from my ex bf... i just wanna tell u it hurts a lot to see someone you love so deeply falling out of love with you for other people... well its life... we deserve better people as well as you... someday we'll all look behind and we'll say well it was just some sort of infatuation...
I'm really sorry to know you had the same problem as my gf. I totally agree with you and I would not like to hurt any sentiments of my gf anymore. She is not my ex but I'm lucky I still have her since 9 years and still going stong. Yes she is hurt very much by my liking towards other person. I hope I forget everything about this new girl in my life and give all that I can to my gf.
Thanks Again....
i cant get him out of my mind.. and i tried everything to get over him even i had a bf but still hez in my mind..
what should i do??
Can everyone tell me how to get her back. I am willing to do everythings. I will give up my life for her. I will do it. I will fix my problem to love her more and her family more.
Please help me.
Love u 'L'
Love hurts, but dont close yourself to new things. Always remember that all things shall pass...time is your number one friend.
(: yeyaaha!
i tried everything to stop thinking and loving him but, still nothing ever worked.
he was muh first true love, you dnt stop loving your first true love no matter what they did to you. infact you can never stop loving someone you truley loved. but i think that you should jst ask the guy out and see what happens, if it's meant to be than its meant to be.
I want to forget about my ex too
I broke up and now I'm talking again to the guy that I've always loved and it seems fine.. I don't even find myself falling for him like before (like from 2 years ago)
Hope it works for you.. Give it a shot.. know him better if you're not that close.. maybe you'll find something that would pull you away for him or brings you closer.. you never know unless you try!
its not immpossible, and you never no wat could happen! theirs no way you can get over him unless you know what could reallly happen.... if he says, so you'll be crushed for a little bit, but you WILL get over it eventually and move on to someone even more wonderfull
Get over that.
And your gold.
back in 2007, i was introduced to a guy that eventually became my best friend and someone i found myself falling in love with. for a while, i thought it was just lust or infatuation but i ended up genuinely caring for him and found myself growing even more as an individual thanks to our friendship. a few months after we were introduced to each other, my feelings grew and i confessed how i felt towards him. at that time, he told me that he saw me as a sister. knowing that, i was shattered but we stayed as really good friends. i often reminded myself that this was a one-sided deal for me and i tried meeting other people while keeping my friendship with him.
he met my family and i eventually met his... as we became closer friends, we often hung out with the same group of people.
it was a bit odd since the majority of the people who knew us didn't believe he saw me as a sister. i was pretty confused about how he truly felt and questioned whether he was being honest with me. there's times where he's given me mixed signals... we talked on the phone almost every night and he was closer to me than any of his other friends. we did plenty of things together.. hiking.. rock climbing.. poker n movie nights... i even loved to cook for him and bring him food all the time... we hung out 1 on 1 often and there was plenty of playful flirting...to add on.. i didnt even see him acting this way with any other girl. so i went through that stage where i thought... maybe this guy needed more time to figure out his feelings.
time went by and later on... a girl from his past comes around trying to revive the past they had together. (in the past, they didnt work out since long distance didnt work for him...) somehow, i eventually met this girl and she was a great person. i found it sad that we naturally got jealous of each other b/c we both knew we liked the same guy and i was scared of losing any chance to ever be with this guy. anyhow, there's times where this guy compared me against her and it totally broke the core of my own self-esteem as a woman when he told me about it.
i tried distancing myself away from him before completely becoming self-destructive but i couldn't cut him off. he was there for me at the time when my family issues were the most critical and falling apart . when the time came for him to graduate from college, i tried so hard to help him find a job around our area (norcal) so that he wouldn't move back south. the other girl lived down south and for some reason, i felt scared that he would no longer be around.
he eventually found a job up here... and as time passed, i did myself a favor and went out to meet more guys. i dated one guy but things didn't last longer than 2 months since my family issues hit me hard & he wasn't the kind of guy that supported me. my mistake at this time was.. i slept with that guy. i told my best friend (the person i liked for a long while) about it and he was there to support me when everything was falling apart. my parents were about to divorce and my relationship with them wasn't too great. my emotional health was very unstable at the time and my best friend was the only person who gave me the greatest comfort.
one time, we stepped out and he told me that he felt crushed to find out that i slept with the guy i dated. he brought up "friends" (tv series) and used this one episode about ross and rachel.... in that ep, ross and rachel are broken up and ross meets rachel's sister who tries to sleep with him. rachel starts to think ross slept with her sister but by the end of the episode, he tells her he never slept with her sister because he never wanted to eliminate the future chance of getting back together with rachel
so keep that story in mind.... my best friend basically told me that since i slept with someone i dated, it ruined any potential chance between him and i. at this point, over a year and couple months have passed since ive started liking him. and here he tells me.. it's like him as a mentor being disappointed in the person under him. from there, i royally gave up and moved on.
Read on... (1 of 3)
i told this story to the coworker i dated who is now my current bf for over a year... i was happy to know he was very understanding... he basically said.. if you want to talk to someone, go talk to them. no one tells you who to vent to but yourself. and if your so called best friend cuts things off this way, that's not a friend to begin with.---- i agreed with this viewpoint.. and yet i found it hard to forget my ex-best friend because he just flipped 180 after all the times he's been supportive of me
our group of friends eventually split because of this awkward separation and things are no longer what they used to be. i miss the good old times and it's depressing to know you can't go back.
i no longer talk to my ex-best friend since his actions have told me that he doesn't want to be around me. i often reminded myself that this same ex-best friend wasn't exactly a good friend at the end when things split... in one of our final conversations... i can tell he was looking out for me and telling me i didn't know his coworker too well... but then he went off physically measuring up the guy as if it was his place to compare. The last few times i communicated with him... things didn't make sense and i sensed more jealousy out of his actions rather than a friend who was supporting me...around this time, he told me he didnt believe in my capabilities of dating and said to prove him wrong.. n show him that his coworker and i would blossom into a great couple
Read on... (2 of 3)
It's been a little over a year since this split has happened. I'm still with my bf (my ex-best friend's coworker) and still disturbed till this day on why things turned out this way... I have older brothers.. and if they were ever disappointed in me, they wouldn't give me a cold shoulder. If my best friend was disappointed in me like a mentor was, I don't think he would have been cutting off the entire friendship this way.
i tried to put myself in his shoes and think... what if he was distancing himself for my sake as well? but the next question becomes, why did he need to get so dramatic about me dating his coworker?
when it comes to my bf... ive been happy with him and he treats me well... i do wonder whether ive reached that point where i can say i love him... i feel that it's still growing... and i think to myself... what if my feelings towards this bitter end with a person i used to love is the thing that is slowing down my progression from moving forward? its odd because i have dreams of the past and i feel this whole grudge that im dying to get rid off... as much i hate what happened in the past, i can't bring myself to say i truly hate the person i loved.
i want my relationship to work... and i no longer want to hold on to something in the past... so i wonder, what's the best way to forget my ex-best friend? i deleted his sn... got rid of pictures.. and no longer associate myself with his family... i avoid even talking about him if possible... at least a year has passed and my mind is still driven crazy with him... somehow, my feelings are bottled up and i want it gone.
I heard a saying "to get over someone is to get on top of another." I have to find somebody else to occupy my mind or find a new hobby, meet new people. Another saying "action is the enemy of thought."