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I can't say "How are you?"...
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The title says it all, I have no idea why I can't. I have no problem carrying on a conversation with someone of interest, but I can never say "How are you?" and when I don't say it I get really uncomfortable pondering if they think I am a big wierdo for not saying it.

Much like this.

A stranger says "Hey, how are you?"
and I would respond, "I'm great thanks..."
and then there is awkward silence before I forward the conversation with other material.

I think its like a deep down phobia.. as stupid as that sounds...

Anyone else have an issue with a particular statement like this?
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Comments (16)
DurazStrike
2 years, 8 months ago | pl
Small talk sucks
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Moonlit_Heart
4 years, 3 months ago | pl
Wait, you don't WANT to ask people how they are, or you physically CAN'T ask them?
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ccarle
4 years, 3 months ago | pl
@: Moonlit_Heart
Well its a little of both I think. The phrase is really over used and for the most part its just a filler. But yes I physically can't say it... I don't know why. I can say "Haven't seen you in so long, how have you been?" or something like that... but I CANT just say "How are you?". I just can't.
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SocialDeconstruction
4 years, 3 months ago | pl
I do the exact same thing, I don't understand it. What%%u2019s worse is 30-50 co-workers ask 'how are you' every morning. I often miss the boat on asking them in return, and replace it with awkward phrases.

I wonder who notices or if they care, but at the same time I despise being asked the question every day as it is generally trivial and meaningless coming from most people.

Also maybe I (and possibly you) don%%u2019t really care how people are and hence have no urge to ask it?

I'm not sure overall, but it's something I've always had trouble with and thought about too much.
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lisha590
4 years ago | pl
@: SocialDeconstruction
Im the same way some asks "How are u" and I say good and walk away...lol I dont really feel the urge to spill my emotions out about how i feel
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Solimorphic
4 years, 2 months ago | pl
Mix it up.

Come back with something different and unexpected.

For example, respond with, "I'm about a B until I have one more coffee...". Then if there is eye contact or a smile you can keep going "...like a nice Starbucks mocca...ever have one?" Then you two are off in convo land.

Dare to be different, and throw him/her off balance!
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lisha590
4 years ago | pl
@: Solimorphic
This is a cool suggestion I need to think of interesting come backs other than "good"
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rita_skeeter
4 years, 2 months ago | pl
Maybe is because you really don't want them asking you ..asking how someone is ( even tho it's just said casually) is a personal thing. if someone asks you, you always say fine even if inside your not. Maybe you know this and that's why you can't .. Or else maybe you just really don't care or want ta know.
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kristin
3 years, 7 months ago | pl
oh my gosh! i feel the same way. whenever people ask me "how are you?" i just say something like, "good" or "fine". i never saw "how are you" back and it makes me feel awkward and a little rude. i don't think the phobia part is stupid. who knows? maybe it is, maybe it isn't. but don't worry, i feel the same way about this so you're not alone.:)
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PtownTrailBlazersLuver
3 years, 5 months ago | pl
dude me either!!!!!
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kealewikaylay
3 years ago | pl
omfg! me too!
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ccarle
3 years ago | pl
Though I am still somewhat uncomfortable when I say it, I am now able to at least say it. Took me a while and some practice (as stupid as that sounds) but I kind of feel normal now. I still think this phrase is way over used and is rather personal... but hey, I'll just keep on smiling ;)
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CountessCoolout
2 years, 10 months ago | pl
It's a stupid question. You can see how the person is, if you even care. Just think of it as proper protocol and say it without meaning like everybody else.
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TieDiedSuperstar
2 years, 10 months ago | pl
I got that problem. For me, it's because I don't want to tell people how I am. I say "Good" even though I'm not, and then I don't ask back because I don't want an answer. It's not that I don't care, it's that 'how you doing' doesn't feel like an appropriate way to start a conversation, even though its a social norm.

Then again I do go borderline personality disorder.
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mickrissec
2 years, 3 months ago | pl
No it's not normal, but here's a fix they say 'How are you?' you say answer with a 'I'm fine, you?' or even 'how about you' you're not saying 'how are you' but you're asking the exact same question withoout the awkward silence.
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Care-free
1 year, 6 months ago | pl
Maybe instead of "how are you" you should say "and you"
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