I'm 19 years old and my whole life, I never liked little kids, but more recently I REALLY can't stand them. Any kid over the age of one, and ONLY one and younger IF they're really cute and don't do anything to annoy me (for example: shriek, cry, scream, yell, throw up, piss, or sh*t). My boyfriend has a 3 year old daughter and it HAS to be the most annoying thing on the face of the planet being in the same household as her a couple hours a week, thank God she doesn't live with him or the relationship would have never formed in the first place. The whole time she is there, I'm gonna be in a pissy mood and count down the time 'til she leaves. My boyfriend is always b**ching, "Why don't you show her any affection? Why do you ignore her?"... and I've told him "I DON'T LIKE KIDS!!", why he can't accept that and stop trying to FORCE me to like this annoying little kid, I don't know. That's right, I ignore her, as soon as I walk through the door she comes up, shoving one of her stupid toys in my face, trying to say something even though I can NEVER understand what she's trying to say, so what the f**k? I just wanna scream, "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" but nooo, I'd probably be kicked out in a heartbeat, for the rest of my life. She's the biggest little brat I've ever met, she NEVER listens, cries whenever she can't have what she wants (so then he always GIVES her what she wants... so then I get more pissed!), she has no discipline, I sit there and wish SOMEONE would just slap this kid cuz that's what she deserves, but me not being the parent, have no say. The moral of the story, I can't stand little kids, never have, never will, and I'm sick of being criticized for it, and I'm sick of hearing "But that's your boyfriend's daughter, you should be nice to her!", I don't care WHO's daughter it is, to me it's still just another brat. I shouldn't even have to ask cuz I know there's nothing wrong with feeling like this, but am I normal?
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it's for the benefit of the kid mostly, i wish my parents beat me when i cried when i was young
don't be pussy, beat your kid
I just replied a couple of times HERE: http://isitnormal.com/story/2707/ .
As you can see, I don't like children and I don't have ANY intensions of EVER having them. Let me start by saying I understand how you are feeling and I totally understand your frustrations.
H.O.W.E.V.E.R.
You ARE in a relationship with a guy that was stupid enough to procreate. His daughter will be there, ALWAYS, no matter if you like it or not.
ALL I am telling you is: "Please don't screw things for yourself just because you can't stand her." You are there for your BF. I can be cynical and tell you "you're young, perhaps you'll find a more suitable guy and yadayadaya". Who knows, you may have already DUMPED this guy by the time you read this reply! But what IF this is the guy you plan on being with for the rest of your life?
Don't let her win, dammit! Besides, she is JUST a child. Hear me out! I'm not vicitimizing her, just trying to be a bit REALISTIC here. In the end, she is just another bratty, annoying, attentionw0rring child that hasn't got a clue and that's probably pretty messed up inside the head because of the break up of her parents. Believe it or not, I do feel sorry for that child because she did not ask to be in this position in the first place. She did not ask to be born. Yeah I know it sucks, but you could have been off worse. You could have been her. She might hate this as much as you do.
Sooo... You have to realize you are the adult and you can make this work- or not. And then you only have yourself to blame. She is going to be there, period.
Think of the benefits. You will GAIN respect and love from your boyfriend if you try to be nice to her and try to 'raise' her a little when she's with you. You don't HAVE to procreate if your man likes children, because, hey... He already made that mistake!
Come on, you DON'T want this kid to grow up hating you! Believe me, you DON'T need the stress! Be a friend to her. She will get older and that's when things will get a lot easier... OR a lot of worse for you if she remembers you as a total and utter biatsh.
Now some last advise... You CAN NOT tell your boyfriend how to discipline HIS child. You CAN try to talk about it. You MUST also make clear she is NOT going to ruin any of your possessions. If you ever move in with your BF, his house is your house and you're not the one that has to put up with the mess- cleaning up after his daughter is HIS job. But that's about the only thing you are entitled to.
If you can work this out for yourself, things will be just fine. And one more thing. If you are THAT fed up with it, simply DON'T be there when she comes over. Stay at home. Stay away until you have ACCEPTED HER. I'm serious. It's for the best.
Growing up, I was always a very calm kid who didn't need people's attention and I would invent my own little games and blah, blah, blah. I was always peaceful. I had an aunt who was raising my little cousins from HELL so she ALWAYS hated me (and my mom) for really never causing that many problems (except for the normal problems that little kids cause...HEY, IT'S NORMAL!)
I remember being little and feeling like somebody was staring at me at night. It would be my aunt. She would make these ugly demonic faces at me. I never did anything to her for her to hate me that much, you know? If her daughters from hell did anything wrong, she would put the blame on me and I would get punished for it. She's a hairdresser so you can just IMAGINE the hairstyle she gave me. She basically made me look like a little boy!
I did not know all this back then, I was just a kid but let me tell you, as a kid, you remember EVERYTHING that adults do to you. Even if you can't really recall all the details perfectly, YOU KNOW that they had something against you and hurt you. The years we spend as children are our FORMATIVE years for a reason. Children need support.
I know kids can be brats. I TOLERATE them but I don't necessarily love them, but I do keep in mind that it's important for them to be respected, just like you'd respect any other adult.
With this being said, if this child is such a brat, she needs somebody to teach her some discipline. Talk honestly to your boyfriend and try to reach a compromise. I think IT'S TOTALLY normal for some people not to totally LOVE kids, just as you wouldn't love a cat or anything else; but we also have to look at things realistically and try to reach a compromise. A happy medium. As somebody else said here, you don't want this child to grow up totally HATING you, right?
you're the type of person who should never have been allowed to have children.
i feel bad for your kid
Like kids or not like them, wanting them to be beaten or hurt just ain't normal, it is sick.
October
She is three years old. Crying is what kids her age do. She is your BFs daughter and its job to love and protect her. If I was him I would dump you if you treated my kid like that. Why not find a man with NO kids???!!!
I bet you will probably just hurt or abuse that kid if he ever marries you. I hope he dumps you before then....
It bothers me to no end when people tell me "just wait until you have your own" or something along those lines. I'm never having kids, for many reasons, but most importantly because I cannot stand them.
It would probably be best for the op not to get involved with someone who has a child, feeling the way that they do about the situation. Trying to have a romantic relationship with someone who is a parent, whose child you do not care for, only creates more trouble and pain than it is worth.
Some people simply do not like children. (I most certainly dont!) And theres nothing wrong with that, but it is something to keep in mind when involved with others who have/want kids.
Do your boy friend & his daughter a huge favour and get out. He obviously lacks the judgement to tell a potential child abuser to leave to protect his child.
So try to find it in your sick and shriveled heart to just leave, and not make a contest between you & an innocent 3 year old for this pathetic man's affection.
Get out - and get therapy around whatever happened to you to make you so mean and hurtful.
i might reccomed "trying" to be nice to her tho. maybe if you act nice towards her you might build a more positive environment when she's around. then if you get close enough you'll earn your say in what happens when she's around and give the stupid girl some god damn discipline!! XD