Are You Normal?

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I don't like my family!
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29 Comments

Is it sad that when you go home you don't even feel comfortable in your own house? That when you talk to people, you know that it's a fake conversation. I don't get along with any of my siblings. I can't say I did too much in the past. My brother and I weren't ever really close. Unfortunately, I have no idea what it's like to have a big brother. He never looked out for me, never gave me advice, never helped with my homework or boy trouble. Instead he would pick on me about my weight, and who I liked, and he would leave me stranded so he could hang out with his friends. My mom always made excuses for him. Saying that he was a boy and that's how they are. He grew up drinking and driving on a regular basis, had quite a few dui's and nights in jail, he flunked out of college. I loaned him money, thinking that it was great my brother felt he could finally depend on me. He came home one night drunk, tried to strangle me. He had a party one night that I helped throw, made the snacks and everything, served his friends like a nice little hostess. His dog got sick and threw up on the floor, when I told him he started going off on me, telling me I thought I was better than everyone. He told me he wished I was dead, wished I would kill myself. My mom said he didn't mean it. Yeah right. He has said it more times than I can count. Same with my younger sister, I was always made to take care of her. Take her to school, pick her up, do this and do that. She was so rude and hateful to me. Said the same things, and my mom said she didn't mean it. My older sister, she got drunk, called me a n*gger loving w****.....yeah my boyfriend is black. So what? He treats me great. In fact, I probably would be dead if it wasn't for him. I have no one. He is the only person I can talk to, the only one who will listen. My parents don't even listen. They blame it on me. Take up for my siblings. Try to get me to apologize. Funny right? I wasn't allowed at my dad's bday party this year b/c my bro was going. I was always daddy's favorite. Not anymore. My heart is broken and it's hard realizing I don't have any family.
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Comments (29)
ninjasrock
OH MY GOD!!! IM THE SAME WAY!!!! EXCEPT I HAVE NO BOYFREIND, NO LIFE, AND PROBLY NO FUTURE.
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I know this may not matter, but he is the first real boyfriend I ever had. I've been mixed with the wrong type of guys that treated me like I was less than dirt. Add them up against my family and no wonder I've always been depressed. After the last guy........well I thought I really cared about him, I thought we were actually starting something real and when I asked him if he was ready to take it further he said huh? I have a girlfriend....I was a bit shocked. Nowhere in the months we had been seeing each other had he mentioned a girlfriend. Either way, things got worse but I won't go into that. I actually prayed about it. I'm not an athiest, but with my family the way they are and they way they've never changed, I just didn't see praying as an answer. But I asked God for him. My boyfriend now. I said if you send me a good guy, I will stick it out....b/c I'm used to the bad ones. And I was sent him, and we just celebrated our 3 year anniversary last week.

But I will say this, I'd be completely lost and maybe worse off than I can imagine if I didn't have him. Don't think that you have nothing. There has to be something you enjoy doing, or are great at. Focus on those things. Focus on making yourself a better person. I'm always here if you want to email me. It's nice having someone know what I'm going through.
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ninjasrock
thanks, but i dont think you would want me as a freind, nobody else does. i dont have anything im great at, i can sew and people at my mom's store think its great, but i dont think so, ive seen people my age do WAY better than i can do ANYTHING with. i used to have freinds, but every time i would get close to someone, they would stab me in the back, and join the people that hate me, i dont even know why. and what sucks worst of all is that just today i hit a bump and i fell off my bike, now i have a HUGE lump. but coming back to the socail issue, im not the prettyist girl, there are WAY better looking ones at the school, but its the inside right? but nobody cares about that so im pretty much screwed. i dont really talk to anyone, i dont want to give them a reason to hate me, i still cant figure that part out. but i wish that i had at least one freind
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You know something? You sound like you have a really big heart. And if these people who start out as your friend, but then stab you in the back choose to leave, then let them!! Say goodbye because it's obvious you don't need them. You may not think that sewing is a talent, but it is! I can't sew for crap. lol. My mom can though....she makes quilts and curtains, and many other things that always work out to be great presents. So if you have that talent, maybe you should look at it in another point of view. Are you interested in fashion? If you can sew, then you obviously can create, so what about looking at having a wonderful lavish life as a fashion designer? I know it doesn't happen right away, you have many years to practice, but it's something to think about. As far as not being the prettiest, I'm sure that's just your opinion. Looks aren't everything. I was always the fat girl in my group and I got ignored by quite a few people, but I survived....how old are you?
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ninjasrock
and the thing about being pretty, try having glasses, braces, frizzy, wavey hair AND bad acne. ive got no chance at school. i bet even the band geeks wont take me. AND IM ONE OF THEM!!

but since i posted awile ago, i have met this guy in my class that i get along great with, we both have the same warped sence of humer. we sit next to each other in almost every class, but now its summer and i dont get to see him except if he comes in to moms store and gets a shake with his friends and completly ignoors me. and i wait on them.
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Okay so I know a lot of people look at the physical side of a person, especially when you're young. But a lot of people go through that. A lot of kids wish they could either change something about themselves, or people would look at them differently. Do you want to change? Do you want to try to change your look? I might be able to give you some ideas.....if not, stay who you are. There isn't anything wrong with being yourself.

So the guy ignores you whenever he comes to your mom's store? What a little butthead. lol....I was gonna say to slip him your email address, but if he's going to ignore you whenever he's with his buddies, you shouldn't waste your time with him. He will only hurt you in the long run.....you never told me how old you were. So.....how old are you? And if you don't want to answer that, just tell me this, are you in highschool or middle school?

I had braces all through highschool and I hated it, but eventually learned to get over it...they weren't too bad. I didn't really go for all those wild colored bands like some people do. That's screaming, "Look at my teeth!" Or so I felt. Glasses, are they cute? Or do you wear those big bifocals? Glasses can actually add to your look, if you're wearing the right kind. If they take over your face, you prob won't get the look you were going for. There are a lot of different styles out there that are both sophisticated and sexy. Maybe you should check that out online. But stay sophisticated for your age!!! So you have frizzy, wavy hair? Mine is curly/wavy and forever frizzy. I used to wear it like that all the time in school. If I knew then what I know now I might have felt better about my hair. I straighten it now. I wash it, and make sure you use a good shampoo...don't use anything that says frizz control cuz it will make your hair really oily after awhile. I just don't like it for my hair....
So I wash it, I leave it to air dry for an hour or so...unless I wear it wet to bed, then I blow dry it, and I brush it out while I'm blow drying...then I straighten it. I do the bottom layer of my hair first and work my way up to the top. That's another thing, you should ask your hairstylist what style would look good for your face shape. I keep mine long with short layers, sometimes long....
After I straighten it, I curl the ends with a thick barreled curling iron....and my hair stays like that for 2 days. On the second day I might do some touchups, but it still has curl.
I know it seems like a lot, but it doesn't take too long. And it makes my hair feel soft and look very healthy. Just some ideas for you....Oh and for the acne...what do you use for your face? Noxema is good if you don't want to spend the money for proactiv....and try drinking more water...for some reason it can make a pimple magically disappear if you drink enough of it. Let me know what you think.
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I can agree with you 100%% no joke! Family can actually be your worst enemy so approach with caution. Evil always attacks your family first especialy if your family is so easy to deceive? Start a family of your own the kind you would like to be around.
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wow, down to a T , u ave described my living situation except for a few minor tweeks to the story...i live an breath the same hurt. sorry ur in that boat...ive learned to stay away from my siblings and dad i only have my mom, fortunate for that.. but only advice to u treat urself good get ur own place an surround urself with new family an friends... it will never fill that void but trust me it does the job. And come to ACCEPT they r who they r.... an will never change so lookk forward and not to past to give 2nd or 3rd chances or bennefit of the doubts either just do you.
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@: budee
It really bugs me what goes on in my family. I used to be so close to my dad, but I don't know how I feel anymore. I'm truly hurt, I can definitely say that. He sided with my mother....never happened before until now. I didn't spend his birthday or Father's Day with him because of my mom and my brother. And when I told my mom that any other parent would tell my brother to deal with it, she told me I was wrong, that she was doing the right thing. My dad doesn't care to talk about it, and when I try to bring it up, it's like he doesn't hear anything I have to say. Same with my mom. So I kinda gave up. They always ask when I'm coming over, and really I just say whenever. Because they are on my schedule now. I'm trying to get stronger. I dread the holidays because I know it will be about me scheduling my time around my brother.....like he is someone special...makes me quite irritated. Luckily my tearful emotional outburst have slowed down.
I just don't have anyone in my family I can talk to.....except my half sister. We just don't talk everyday though.....Oh and you know what else helps??? My boyfriend and I are finally going to move in together officially into our own house so now I can get out of there....and take my dog!! She always threatens me.....come and get your dog and get the heck out. Yep.......she meaning my mom
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Ollieo
I think that is sad. I like that you are developing relationships outside your home. Good on you. Make other friends too. Having a life of your own makes coping with a difficult family manageable.
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Ok darlin' your family seems really fucked up. Your sisters and brother are not going to do shit with their lives. You seem pretty level headed. You can do something with yourself. My family is really bad at times too. A lot of drugs and drinking on my dad%%u2019s side and a lot of fussing on my mom%%u2019s but you just need to hang in there and be strong. I now it%%u2019s hard.

About your boyfriend if he is good to you then that is great. But be careful and don%%u2019t put your whole life into one person. Your life needs to revolve around you because if something would happen with you two, like so many couples, you don%%u2019t need to feel like you have lost everything and possibly hurt yourself. Remember you are number one.

I really hope things work out for you.
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Yeah I think about that sometimes. I love him, I truly do. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I do try to remind myself that things could change. I don't really like to think about that.....but sh*t happens.
Luckily he is my bestfriend....so I have him in my corner...and I'm really close with his family.
We already talked about the future in a sense that if he and I didn't work out, we'd all keep in touch. Because with them I have at least 3 new sisters, 2 brothers, a new cousin, and a wonderful mother......I love his mom. I know I treat her better than my own, but she is actually there for me and it makes a difference.

My family isn't into drugs.......but they are into alcohol. Someone is drinking everyday...I'm not big on alcohol. I do that once or twice a year thing, and then I sometimes even overdo it then. And that's not good, because I tend to wait until I get frustrated enough to let out all the things I've been holding in....
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COMPLETELY NORMAL, Let me guess, you are becoming independent, thinking differently and they don't approve, well fuck that, let them know that you are the man and they are the woman.
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This is normal in some famlies. I moved out at 16 and became an emancipated adult. Made my mom hate me even more. She admittted on her death bed she ignored me and she felt my sister beating me up all the time was normal. NOT!! I kept my head in the books, worked and back then it was safe to ride your bike at night and I did everything I could to avoid being home more than I had 2. I am glad as I turned ok. Being around all the chaos would have screwed me up.
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As sad as it is your situation, it is normal. Every family got problems, some more some less but every family has issues... Im the eldest in my family and I have always been the black sheep everything was blamed on me. when my dad left the house my mom and bro blamed it on me.. it was very difficult and can u beleive it i still live with them... sometimes i come home and they are there but its as if im bymyself no1 talks to me because they each got their own reasons... I hate it but what u want its life... ur not alone just know that!!
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i know how you feel im living a similar life to all of you who commented.

im also the eldest and my dad also left, im not blamed for it but i hate it that my mom keeps telling me that he abandon us, i mean it hurts that he left so i dont want to be constantly reminded.

i cant stand living with my family, i feel ignored and forgotten, so i hate coming home, i try to stay out as much as i can and come home late. i barely talked to my family and thats because they are rarely there, the all leave and im left alone at home, and my siblings are all younger than me. i mean usually it would be the oldest thats always out but in my case its all switched-my siblings in middle school n high school are out and im at home. -i go to college, so as much as i wish to leave and hang out with my friends, it doesnt always happen. i rarely see most of my friends-were scatter around, different colleges.
:/
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There was alot of good advice I dont think mine can compare so I was wondering if you could tell me, did you get through it? After three years how are you?
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@: Boo!
3 years later.....the one good thing I can say is that I am still with the boyfriend. He has been wonderful, even though at times I can tell he gets fed up with my family drama. I still don't speak to my older sister, if I see her I say hello but that's it. My brother and I aren't on speaking terms, but most of the anger has boiled over and when we are around each other at my parent's house, we speak cordially. Which surprises the family....they think I want to complain and start fights all of the time. My younger sister.........wow. There has been so much drama with all of that in the last 3 years. We got into a fight around my mother's birthday about 2 years ago I guess. All over a cake. I didn't have any money at the time b/c I just had surgery and then became unemployed...I bake, so I had a cake and that's what I was going to give to my mom. I told my sister we didn't have to use it, I had a friend's birthday coming up in a few days and I could save it for her. Well my sister went crazy. She called me every name in the book, told me she wished I was dead, would kill myself, everyone hates me, everyone in the family hates me, blah blah blah. She went on and on like this for about 2 hours. I just kept it grown up on my part as best as I could, b/c it's what I expect from her. My mother called crying, siding with my sister asking how I could do this to her. Ha......nothing new. So we didn't celebrate her birthday with her, and I stopped speaking to my sister for nearly a year.
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I feel like my mom tries to talk to me only when they don't give her attention, her other kids I mean. And I tell her that. My sister got engaged last October I believe, and she text me to tell me. I didn't really care. I hadn't talked to her before that and all of a sudden she texts me to tell me this. I know how she works. I didn't respond. My mom and dad both called me for about 2 days telling me I was wrong for not responding to her and I should say something. I told them she should apologize to me, then I might consider congratulating her. Well I guess my mom gave her the message, she sent me this long email, but it wasn't an apology. It was her calling me jealous b/c she was engaged before me, she said all kinds of crap that seem so irrelevant now.I do wedding and event planning, and was working on a wedding on my birthday last year. A mutual friend of mine and my sister's was getting married the same day, so my boyfriend went to her wedding after he left mine, and called me afterwards saying my sis wanted me to come and see them. They all went to a club. I went for a little while, of course my sister was drunk, she was trying to be nice but it seemed so fake. My mom kept trying to get us together, to work on the wedding. I came around during the holidays and she was such a brat, my sister I mean. I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my mom and dad, and for my boyfriend's family. No one else was supposed to be there, but my sis and her fiance showed up, and she was so critical. My boyfriend's family didn't like her one bit, they said she tried to put down everything I did. She tries to bake now too, so she has an issue with me baking, even though I've done it ever since I can remember. I make baked goods for the holidays and give them to everyone as a part of their gifts. She brought some to the house but didn't even want me to taste them! lol like I would make fun of her or something. She is still really childish. Christmas morning I decided to go over to my mom's after she begged me, I wasn't going to.....but I did.
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My sis was such a brat, really rude as usual, and I actually got along better with my brother and his wife who I never speak to. I had surgery this past April.....a lot has gone on for me, a lot of medical problems that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life, things that made me so depressed, so I thought maybe I should change the way I look at things. I started helping my sis plan her wedding, even though she didn't want me in it. She said it was b/c we hadn't spoken in a year or so and wanted her friends in it. That caused issues, which we spoke of quite often. I had random moments my sis would try to say stuff to me that I felt were none of her business, so of course I just popped off on her. Then we wouldn't speak for days. My mom always sided with her as usual. I had another surgery about 2 months ago, no one called to see how I was doing.....my mom actually came that day, but said she came b/c she didn't want me to be mad or something b/c it was her day off and she was actually planning on going to the casino. I told her I didn't need her there. My boyfriend was there. It felt fake anyways.....she left from the hospital and I didn't hear from her again. I didn't hear from anyone. I was so pissed off. My boyfriend takes these surgeries very seriously, b/c just b/c it may be a minor procedure, doesn't meant that it's not serious. I'm still going under.....but that's my fam. They never care enough to call to see how I am doing or how I feel. I said something about it and it became a huge deal. My sis went off on a texting rant saying all these mean things to me. My mom sided with her. My dad sided with her. My sis said she doesn't do hospitals and she isn't going to call and check on me everyday to see how I am doing.....I said that's nice. Of course she mentioned how I am so jealous of her b/c she is getting married before me. I told her that doesn't even bother me, what bothered me was that I am her sister and she would rather use me to plan her wedding than put me in it. I have kinda blocked out a lot of the conversations b/c they just make me angry, but there was a lot said. My dad called and started in on me, and that was it. He was supposed to take me to my follow-up doc appointment so my boyfriend wouldn't have to take off again from work, but I told him to forget it and I hung up in his face. I just couldn't listen to it anymore, telling me that I need to apologize for upsetting my little sister.
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I guess no one cared once again that I had surgery. I once told my sister that surgery was scary, you never know what will happen. You know what she said? "Yeah well I could walk outside and get hit by a car" that's how much she cares. My mom said she loves me b/c I'm her daughter, but she doesn't like me. I told her I was done with her. I was done with all of them. My life is much better off without them. When I had no contact with any of my siblings for that year, it was great. I tried too hard with my parents, I will admit that. And I told my mom that. This was an issue for me: I wanted to do something nice for my dad....he turned 70 this year. I cooked dinner for him and the family, I was there early getting everything ready. He was sitting down watching TV when I walked in, said Hi to me and resumed watching TV. My sister and her fiance walked in an hour later and he paused his show, got up and gave both of them hugs. Can you imagine how I felt? I get emotional now just writing this.....he did the same thing to me 3 days before when I came over and then my sis came over.....she didn't want to cook or do anything for him, but I did, and that's how I got treated. And I told my mom about it and said that she does the same thing. There's no reason for it. I told her I am the only child she has ever been able to depend on, the only one with a good heart. And because of that, I can't deal with them anymore. They are making me so mean and hateful, so depressed. I am already sick, I can't deal with that type of stress. So I cut them off. I told my mom I was done. Leave me alone. The next day my mom text me b/c I had my follow-up with the doc, but I didn't respond. She text me again because she realized I took everyone off my facebook page....ha....how childish was she to tell me how disappointed she was in me??
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I was throwing my sis a lingerie party for her wedding, my mom and I were doing it together at my house, I told them to call her friends and let them know it's not going to be here anymore, I had already sent out the invites. I was supposed to go with her to her bachelorette party in Destin and I used my military discount to get the room. Her BFF and Maid of Honor booked the room on her credit card. Both of our names were on the reservation. Since I wasn't going, I called to take my name off, which also removed the discount. So I text her BFF to let her know they weren't going to charge her card, but that they would have to pay the diff when they got there. She had the nerve to text me back and say if they charged her she would send me the bill. I told her I wasn't paying for crap so she would be wasting her time. My sister immediately text me telling me I ruined everything. All of her wedding showers, her bachelorette party, her wedding, blah blah blah. It's all my fault. She continued on telling me how she hates me and so does everyone else. Let's just say she continued to text me for nearly 2 hours.....it ended badly. Of course she made racial comments, made comments about my boyfriends family, and I just let her know that it would be great if everyone could meet her. She took that as a threat, I was being sarcastic, but I told her to f*ck off. My mom calls after my sister calls her....she is crying into my voicemail, blaming it on me. I was so pissed. I called her back but it went to voicemail and I told her she was a horrible mother, what a great job she didn't raising such horrible children, excluding me. She was calling me back when I was leaving the message. She started talking and I told her to listen, that I never even said anything to her, I was talking to her friend, and that I wasn't rude. They turned it around on me. She said she knew my sister started it, and I asked her if she knew that, why the hell was she on her side and telling me to leave her along or apologize?? I told my mom that my sister says whatever she wants and doesn't think about consequences, one day, someone is gonna kick her ass for the things she says, and if I am around when it happens, I won't make it stop. I told my mom I was done with all of them. I want to be left alone. I want nothing to do with them. They can have each other. She still tries to call and tell me she loves me or misses me, my mom I mean. I don't talk to anyone.....I am still angry about it. I went over to my parent's house the other day to drop off some of the stuff sent to my house for my sister's wedding. My mom asked if she could hug me and said she loved me.....my dad couldn't get out of his damn chair as usual. So I am done. 3 years later, much more drama...no support from my family, just hatred. I don't want that kind of life.
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Oh, and by the way, I wanted to add that now I have a relationship with both of my half sisters. I was only talking to one originally, and we have gotten much closer. Same as the other sister. My mother and sister hate it, but I told them they are my blood, and I am closer to them than anyone else blood related to me.
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I feel you I have a little brother who is 24yrs old and thinks he's 14, He can't look for work and is miserable so he tends to make big problems at home. He likes for people to feel sorry for him and blames everything on me to the point where he told my other brother he wanted to shoot himself because of something I said so imagine the drama at x it's hard to stay quiet but it's best to let go and move on they will never change you just have to ignore them if not you will get sick yourself just live your life and forget them.
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@: sexyluv
One of the hardest parts for me is that right now I am going thru so much medically, I just had surgery again the other day, and my mom keeps trying to somewhat be involved. She wants to come over tomorrow to visit, but I just feel like I should tell her no, but I don't like being mean like that. But even with her coming over, it's going to be awkward.....it always is. I don't have much to say to her b/c every time I share bits of my life with her she runs off and shares them with everyone else. That's one reason I fight so much with my siblings. I remember once she was complaining about how we all treated her, lol.....I laugh b/c I treat her the way you are supposed to treat an elder, but I'm not perfect, I have said my share when needed. I told her that her problem is that she wants to be everyone's friend, not their mother. I told her I don't need a friend, and certainly her other jacked up kids needed a mother as well. I told her she can't expect a certain level of respect when she never demanded it to begin with. I told her I wish I had a mother, I say mine died. She did.....of breast cancer. She was the only lady I could look up to and look to when I needed help or to talk. My mom turns everything around and makes it about her. Or her other kids.
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starmoon74085
thats absolutely TERRIBLE!!!
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