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I don't want my boyfriend to know I'm pooping. What can I do?
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40 Comments

Okay, so this is a really embarrassing problem, but a big problem. I have Parcopresis, or a social anxiety about defecating. It bothers me especially when my boyfriend is around. I know that he knows I poop(because everyone does), but I have this irrational fear that he's going to think I'm gross and unfeminine for doing so.
THis is really affecting my life because I literally cannot use the bathroom at his home, or when he is around. Even if I went to try, nothing would come out. It's a like a psychologically imposed constipation.

As a female, I feel that women have been socialized by our society to be "pretty" and "delicate" and "clean" and "pure". This makes it hard to be comfortable doing something that is often loud, foul, and smelly. I need help, because he and I are supposed to be going to CA for a week, and I can't go a week without pooping. What can I do? Is it normal to feel this way?
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Comments (40)
They have this stuff called PooPourri. You spray it in the bowl before you go and no one can smell it. Also, try turning on the faucet or flushing while going to drown out the sound.

But really, you need to face this fear. Human beings are living organisms. You intake, thus you have output. Everyone has to. It's life.
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lol PooPourri, I can just imagine these primed up preppy ass bitches spraying that stuff in the bathroom and pretending that they don't poop at all. God that is absolutely ridiculous.
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Go before you take a shower. Turn on the shower, poop, then afterwards flush the toilet so he thinks you just peed after you showered. I use this technique all the time.
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Overcome this disorder of yours so you can live a happy life. It's all in your head. Move on and be happy. I wish you the best ( won't be easy)
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Moderation is best.

Don't leave the door open, but go poop!
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lol!

exactly, women have been socialised as being pretty, nice and clean.

I wouldn't imagine a girl farting, because I've never had.

Like TheJackel said, it's all in your head.
You need to let it go.
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You know what I'd do?
I'd be like... Baby I'm gonna shower. Then poo. Hahaha! With the water on, then hop in the shower afterwards.
He'd think I was in the shower, and couldn't hear cus of the shower water.
Haha!! I know what you mean:)
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If your boyfriend has any respectability, he will accept your need to poop as perfectly natural and healthy, and thus will not bother labeling it as "gross and unfeminine."

Think of pooping with him nearby as a test of his merit.
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Face your fears.
Watch 2 girls 1 cup.
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@: Rexvolt
2 girls 1 cup is so nasty
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@: chewy
lol, i was just about to make a comment saying "After watching 2 girls 1 cup, i will never see a women as pure again" Guess you dirty minded lot beat me to it though.
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@: Rexvolt
That is the most sick thing I've ever seen. Guess its my fault for having my 11 yr old daughter type in her problems and fears with her bowel movements. To think someone can't even come online to get advice without watching a porn and two nasty b****s eating a cup of human feces. Not one warning to you before a innocent child clicks the link to get information without porn.
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@: Rexvolt
Talk about it with him.
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Get over it. Guys dont care. We care so little that we could watch u take a dump and not be grossed out. Your just thinking of how u would react. Your forgetting that guys love sick nasty things. It's all good. Take a huge dump with the door open. He'll respect it, and you'll feel better- in more ways than one. Ha ha. Lol
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Well... you might get married one day, and then the jig is up!
But seriously I don't even want my parents to know about it, I'm so self-concious :P but the shower thing suggested above it one I myself have used before (lol I LOVE finding out that people I don't even know do exactly the same thing as I do) and also I put toilet paper in the bowl so there is no sound :| because that to me is the worst part.
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Something you'll have to get over, and probably will after being with your boyfriend for awhile. It's something that bothers me too and I've been with my man over two years. He teases me about it, and sometimes tries to come into the bathroom while I'm pooping and I get mad. One of these days I'm gonna drop a horrid bomb and claim to be out of toilet paper. That'll fix his wagon!
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My suggestion ladies, is that you get the hell over this ASAP. My guy friends and all the dudes I have known in my life, don't give a damn if you're pooping or not. I had this ridiculous problem with several gf's of mine, they would just hold it in, get cramped act grouchy and irritated when all they need to do is just GO TO THE DAMN BATHROOM! for those of you who have said that you don't want to go to the bathroom and you are spending weeks with your boyfriends. There is no excuse other than you are just being ridiculously childish, you realize that the longer you hold that bacteria in your rectum you ESPECIALLY for a week you GREATLY increase your risk for colon cancer? It is horrible for your body to hold in crap and bile like that and if you do hold it for that long you can also risk causing impacted bowels so GET THE HELL OVER IT.
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All you filthy poop-girls make me nauseous just thinking about you. You better hope your boyfriend doesn't find out about your bomb-dropping or even the fact that you are so obsessed with your own poop. If he finds out, he'll never be able to touch you again without smelling turds and feeling contaminated by you. My advice is to hide your problem for as long as you can. Eat lots of cheese (like calzones and pizza) and drink only soda. That way at least you won't gross anyone out with your crustiness.

If you find yourself in a position where you are with your boyfriend and can't hold it, this is what you do: open up your purse and give him all the money you have. Tell him to go out and buy something nice for himself and to also go find a slutty girl who isn't covered in feces. That way he can get busy with the clean girl and also buy a new Xbox game or whatever. By the time he comes back, he won't care that you're a stinky poop-girl. If he starts to care again, go to ATM and take out more money. I hope this advice helps.
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dont poop ever again. problem solved.
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Me and girlfriend poop with the door open at home.
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that's understandable, but if the two of you plan to live together eventually, you'll have to overcome that fear. just think of it this way: everybody does it and it's all gross.
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he was completely understanding and even felt bad that my anxiety was causing me so much discomfort. In the beginning, I would ask him to do something on his own for a bit like go on the patio to smoke or read a book or watch tv while i would run the shower and use the toilet. At the time I still didnt like the idea of him thinking about or knowing that I was using the bathroom while he was outside, but it helped when he assured me that he would be doing something that would completely distract him. So we started a routine where I'd tell him I needed to use the bathroom and ask for him to distract himself. Now I'm ok so long as there's a tv on outside or he's playing video games with the volume up while i've got the shower on. I no longer worry about him knowing, but I'm still scared of him hearing anything. Baby steps! it's progress nonetheless!
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carolann
Carry a boombox with you at all times and when in the poddy play marching music very loud.

Nothing covers the sound like Sousa.
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It is normal as far as I'm concerned, I too used to be poop & pee shy, I wwould have to be sure no one was around, my family & friends & especially my g/f. However, I had a woman pooping fetish, known as coprophilia and she would usually let me accompany her while she was on the pot. One time when she was taking a dump & I was with her she asked me why I never went to the bathroom when she was around, I told her I dont know & she was coaxing me to tell her, al
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Has someone not mentioned to this poor girl that her boyfriend doesn't know that she poops?
In the same way you don't know your grandmother has walls in her house because they're so common.

When we have anxieties and phobias around a certain issue we think about it constantly, while the people without them never think about them. I'm sure, unless she mentioned this phobia to her boyfriend, he's NEVER put her and pooping together in the one thought.


I also suggest that if you want to over-come this phobia relatively easy, you aught to re-arrange your diet to give you severe bowl problems. Then by time you come back around to health, you'll just be glad you can function normally.
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you should take comfort in knowing he poops just like you
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ahaha
This happens to me and i'm a man.
I guess it would be better with time, but for now, i just can't move on.
Try that shower stuff or do it before hand, if u know that you'll be all day at his house or whatever
and try to mention that in front of him, to be more natural about that stuff, because it gotta happen someday, the sooner the better :)
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hi, i had the same problem too. The best thing to do is to just talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him about your anxiety and maybe the two of you can try to figure out ways to overcome your anxiety. Try having him watch tv really loudly while you have the shower running. I also like to have music playing in the bathroom. It might sound strange or weird to talk about this, but communication is really the only way for you to overcome this anxiety. What if you start spending days at a time with you bf? You'd be constipated for days which is unhealthy and extremely uncomfortable.
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vehen87, did you talk to your boyfriend about this? How did he respond?
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Thanks for your suggestions everyone. Unfortunately, this problem isn't getting any better and I'm starting to worry for my health. I even talked to him about it, and he was great about it, but it's still not helping.
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I actually have the same problem.. Not the disorder and all just the issue with pooping @ his house I hold it until I go home which isn't good but I cant seem to poop around him let alone even pass gas.. Out of the 4 years we've been together Ive only pooped at his place once and even then I was scared out of my mind that it's smell, be loud, or he'd think I was super gross..... & I haven't done it since just can't I'm too scared... Then I think of u's moving in together like what am I gonna do then go to my parents house to poop? I don't think he would look at me any differently but who knows. I just feel embarrassed 2 poop while he's around.... I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know your not alone....
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dude,I had the same problem, I went for like 5 days to see my boyfriend, I COULDN'T TAKE A POOP!!!!!I tried when he got out of the house for like 4 hours and I was alone, but still, I feared he will come back and here the "ploop" sound :P
This is really embarassing.I think the best solution is the shower one.but what if you already took a shower??????Just put some toilet paper inside the toilet :D life's hard huh? :P
p.s If you want to relax just try to carry ur ipod with you or a magazine,or even a cigarette if you smoke.(without being seen!!)
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robbieforgotpw
Did you say you poop loud?
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LOL! This is the biggest load of crap i've seen! Honnestly. Who asks this? Is it normal to poop?! You are a human being right? You eat right? So you poop...
It's normal.
And if it helps, guys don't care about your pooping.
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I see this happened two and a half years ago. I wonder how her vacation went..or if they are still together. Or if he gave her an ultimatum..haha.
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She died of constipation.
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Lol
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Put toilet paper in the toilet. Poop on the paper. No sploosh. Wipe and flush.

Eat a proper diet and this should be a minute long process tops.
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Tell him "oh Im not pooping in here"...that ought to work.
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She should phone him up when she needs a shit and scream down the phone,

'I'M GOING TO HAVE A BIG SHIT'.
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