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I feel like killing, stealing, burning and raping
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As the title suggests, I have a lot of deep seated hatred. I want to rape and kill random people, just to see them squirm around with tears of pain in their eyes. I want to burn their houses and rob them of their little possessions just to shove it all in their... I know this hate is toxic, but no amount of anything that I do seems to lower it. Over the past several years it has grown despite my efforts to relieve myself and slowly become a happier person. I want to lead a good life. I want to enjoy it. But, more often than not, I find myself remembering all of the bad things that happen and I can't help but feel that no one cares [though they claim that they care, family and friends this, sentimental that]. I want to make them care by ripping their wrists and ankles with piano wire. I want to beat the shit out of these stupid assholes, just to see those little tears of joy!!! I've heard a lot of bullshit and have tried the said methods. Things like "fake it till you make it", but this hate isn't like a switch that I can just turn off. It seems that I can only suppress it to pass as "normal", only to find that I wake up the next day wanting to take a kitchen knife and stab my sleeping neighbor in the back of the neck. I am so sociopathic it scares me and at the same time it's almost soothing. The thought of brutally torturing these mindless, shortsighted, cowardly, over critical, conceited little shitheads we call humans is one of the most effective mood lifters I have. I am afraid that I will lead myself into an insatiable desire to torture and kill person after person [I've had thoughts about bathing in blood while the victim is still barely alive, just to see the expression on what's left of their face]. I really, don't want to be a monster. I want to have a wife and two kids, but part of me wants to lead a different life.
Please help me. Let me know if this is more common than I think [maybe it is normal, idk]. Let me know if you have any ideas that will help make me a happier person. I don't think I actually want to do this kind of stuff. But, I imagine this stuff too often for it to remain a fantasy, so it either needs to go or I will quell it the only way I know how, cuz frankly, I don't know how much more of this crap I can take.
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Comments (41)
oh yeah, thats normal all right.
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I understand you, im 20 years old, and feel the same way, sinse im born, girls laff at me, guys too, when i was 5 i experienced sexual contents with another girl playing doctor and we had real sex, rubbing my dick against her pussie at only 5,(i talk about this cuz maybe thats what fucked me up) i want to sociolize but feel like evrybody is a perfetic dumb ass coming from cave-man land, i dont understand normal people, they talk about stupid things, dance in a stupid way, and talk in a stupid way and listen to stupid music and dont know shit about planet earth and space and the universe...they judge what they dont udnertsanhd and laff at me when i say that free will is a lie, evrybody is so dumb, i just want ta rape them, torture them, kill them, suffocate them, stabb them, ligth them in fire, piss on them, take a shit on them, puke on them...just laff at them after they are dead...i know my anger is created by both my horrible childhood and my hateness of ignorance...but even if i know the cause, i cant help myself, and going to see a psychologist would just put me in a crazy hospital and torture my poor soul more than it should be tortured...this world is nothing but a BIG lie...
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I died a little inside while reading your post for one reason - your horrible grammar.
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Agreed. Except for raping everyone.... why would you wanna get so close with people you hate so much?
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Your fucked up!!
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lol i wanna do this too! i wish i was living in the middle ages as a bandit and do it!
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There are a lot of idiots on this page. If the writer is still reading this, I won't give you some christ preaching bullshit or anything spiritual. This frustration and anger can only come from people like you and me who see the stupidity in other people and the pointlessness of life. It may seem like misplaced anger to some people, but when we see a laughing face on some dumbfuck prick who wouldn't be caught dead working as a cashier considering how stupid he probably is....

It's normal. For us it's nothing but right. Control it. And make sure it doesn't control you, only once in awhile.
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In a past life you were a Germanic invader, end of discussion.
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You probably should see a psychologist before this gets out of hand and you go on a rampage with a chainsaw.
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If you are serious...which it sounds as though you are, you MUST get psychological help immediately. There are a lot of chemical, cultural, behavioral roots that could be causing this, but the fact that you're posting is promising. In certain mental illnesses, like obsessive compulsive disorder, there are frequently documented instances of people having repugnant but recurring and overwhelming urges like yours. It could be as simple as medication, but will likely take a combination of chemical and counseling intervention
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I think the anger is pretty normal since the world is so messed up but you have to redirect your thinking because the anger will lead you to unhappiness.
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You were born in the wrong century man. You'd have been right at home being a Mongolian soldier or something
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You should just kill yourself... The world is better without people like you white trash piece of shit
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I sometimes get that feeling that I want to go on a killing rampage.... I get like a delightful rage inside me, but, I never actually kill anyone. I usually receive this anger after eating meat loaf... Dunno why, anyways I exert my anger by running over people with a semi truck, making their heads pop, in GTA IV. Works for me, it's usually gone by the next day :D
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However, I don't get YOUR type of urges, wanting to torture and murder and rape people.....I think you need help from someone, even though this may sound selfish, separate yourself from the city. Try to go hunting, try to stab things to death with a knife. Run as fast as you can and stab anything (Besides a human) unlucky enough to come across you. Or maybe you can buy a bunch of manikins and going fucking berserk on them with any type of melee weapon.
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Really I think mostly you are smarter then the average person. I am a super positive person with a ton of love in me but I get veryyy annoyed very easy. I talk fast and spit what I think are simple thoughts fast but people always get confused and almost review what I said out loud. You have to realize you anger comes from people who probaly abused you because they were just like you. How can you conplain about childhood/ life experience hurt and want to hurt others? Wouldnt you be doing the same thing you are against? Wouldnt it make more sense to take that enegry and focus it on changing someone else from dealing with what you dealt with. You know what pisses me off though? Sleepless nights, keepig my windows closed on hot days, knowing that someone like you could ramdomly pick my house
To take years of build up rage on when My motto is " i wAnt everyone who meets me daily to leave feeling better about themself and smiling more than before they met me". I may be the life you wanna take. Someone who was molested and raised under drug abusive parents but overcame my struggles stronger and positive. Do u know you most likely wont kill my sexual abuser? You would kill me! Thats how life is ironic so next time you wanna rape, kill, burn, think of the people in life who made you smile, your wife or children. That person has them inside too and I sleep with multiple knives on either side of my bed and swords soooooo that could end ironic too!!
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Hatred and bitterness are not good emotions to carry around. They're useless in a fight, and only eat you up from the inside. Pure burning rage is what you want.

I'd love to fly into a blind rage on someone someday who underestimated or disrespected me. Just grab him and choke the fck out of him in front of everyone. Just f*&king die you c*nt! Or smash his face eye 1st off the corner of a counter. See the look of powerlessness and fear in his face as he cowers while I kick him the face and ribs till he passes out, and stamp on his face over and over till its just a red mush. Look at you now. Not laughing any more are you.

If I had enough rage & guts to punish someone for having the nerve to laugh at me or put me down in any way I would murder them with a smile on my face and not feel a ounce of remorse. And laugh in their families face after & swear at them for having raised such a c*nt in the 1st place and tell them he deserved to be brutally murdered for being such a thoughtless cowardly disrespectful advantage taking little pr!ck.
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god is fake and if u think god will save u from me u better hope i dont find u.. killing ppl slowly and wanting to rape ppl happens and do what i do to not think bout it and smoke it will help
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Hello, I am 20 years old with a good programming job and education.
I am the opposite of religious even tho I grow up in a Christian school.
I am a very quiet person.
All my schoolteachers, co-workers and family tell me that I am good all that.
I don’t do drugs or smoke and have never been in trouble with the law.

It’s all an act.
I act all good and shit to give me better odds in a trial.
“Officer, do I look the type of person who would tie someone up by the feet on a street lamp and paint the ground with their blood using a machete? … What happens to be the Officer probable?”


I am a thinker, planner, I encrypt the shit out of things.
I am not an angry person, I don’t lose it when some bogan shit head (You know the type) gives me shit.
I don’t lose it because it is not logical for me to do so.
In saying that I will follow that shit head home and burn his car to the ground with a Molotov (1L plastic bottle, thin electrical tape, sparklers jet lighter).In case you are wondering.

Currently I have completed planning a “House Heist” how much money do you and your family have on their cards? Do you under fifteen minutes form an ATM?
Upon completing this “House heist” plan to perfection (using a program called FreeMind), I have realised my full parental.
I took a look at all my other plans (and I got a lot) and I see that if people discover the truth behind the truth… well I do not know what would happen never mind what to say.

I am not looking for help. I believe we make our own fate. If you know enough variables, you can predict the future.

Please keep in mind that I have never hurt anyone (severely), but I think someday maybe next year I just might.
I am not looking for redemption or anything like that. I have twelve Drops where I keep my weapons and other camouflage things and I do not want all the time and effort I have spent building, stealing, burning, stalking and planning to go to waste.

I can see my probable future spent alone. Nothing in this world can scare me with the exception of myself. If you are not at the criminal planning stage yet, it may be in your best interest to stop.
I see the snowball effect at work here.

Why not join the military?
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i wanna kidnap some1 tie him/her up pluck thier eyes piss inside the socket and shit in it too, inject my urine inside thier heart with a needle, pluck thier teeth and nails out, pour acid on thier head skin thier belly and shit on it puke in thier mouth and have them choke on it cut thier fingers and burn thier ears!
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u can rape me. and i want to kill people too.
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I'm be totally honest I wanna do that but not rape and not random people I wanna do that to rapist and child molesters and killers so that means I wanna do it to u I don't have hate only for people like you and if you do any of that to any one there going to make it hell for you in prison I hope you get even worse. Burn in hell you fuck
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I think you are completely normal. I think we are all born with something amoral as part of our mental fabric. I know what it is like to think about doing horrible things to people and have it become obsessive. You are normal. Maybe most other people can mask their emotions and thoughts to themselves, or they have a higher consciousness that overrides their baser drives. For some reason your higher consciousness doesn't override you baser drives. That could be for many reasons. Maybe you were abused, raped, or something yourself. or maybe you were badly spoiled and never confronted for your behavior or thoughts in a rational, deliberate manner. I was almost sociopathic like you are...I felt 99% sociopathic with 1% trying to play within normal society and barely hanging on. I never have to deal with any of that anymore. I was about to do the unthinkable, and I fell down on my knees and begged God to help me if He was real, and I meant it. I found God 20 years ago, and ever since that day-- that I prayed and begged him to save me from myself---I have become more and more human and deeply happy. He saved me from the need to act on my thoughts immediately, and I learned from scripture to manage my thoughts, and direct them where I really wanted them to go, towards thoughts that put me in a place where I really wanted to be, instead of a dark place with no good possible end. Right now you have a dark itch and you want to scratch it to relieve it. Call out to God....find some Bible verses online like Genesis 6:5..."Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually."---find comfort that what you feel and think about isn't any shock to the God that made you....and he wants to pull up from the mire...The Son of Sam found God in prison...you can tell he was saved from a deep obsessive darkness. You can find his story about his crimes and what helped at <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY3n0RSJx2E" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY3n0RSJx2E</a> or under a search from the son of hope (david berkowitz).
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Lmao whaaaat. Why would u even ask if this is normal fuck no it ain't. Get some help crazy
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wise
You need to see a priest. Exorcise the devil out of you. You need God.
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hey. i know how you feel. click on my profile name and read my story. i think we are similar.
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I can Only kill burglars who will sneak into my house, I steal only from Mafias, Burning Is what I felt in my veins, And I had nothing to do in raping. Rest Your nerves, Play violent games, or any other games that will make you satisfied, so it will make you happy.
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squirrel_girl
PLEASE DON'T KILL ANYONE OR ANY THING! The human race is the smartest race out there and murder is not the answer to anything. It will NOT make you feel any better or happier!
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did for me exsept for this white room
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LFC_999
I think you were raped as a child, correct me if I'm wrong but you seem the sort probably got passed round your uncles to!!

My advice is simple go see a shrink and unburden yourself with this I really think you need to or lay off the drugs.
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@: LFC_999
LFC_777 Who said anything about him being on drugs??
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Come try and take your anger and frustration out on me, I'll send you home with you wearing your ass for a hat! Stupid cry baby bullshit artist. You're probably friends with the likes of Casey Anthony!
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lol this r interwebz i r soooo tuff!11
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yo i feel the same way im married with 3 kids i love them all very much and would never hurt them my life is realy pretty good not alot of worries but i have a rage inside of me allmost allways were it came from i have no idea i just feel like a mean person and there is no reason for it
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look man honestly im juts like that , human pain is all that makes me happy . But i think artimis is right though , what we both need is someone 2 hold and care for , being a good bf will take away all the desire for blood and violence we feel ( at least i hope lol )

or you could find someone like my x who happens to be just as spycho as u and go on a rampage ( personaly we broke up so as to not have that happen ) we even wanted to kill the same ppl 2 :D

but seriously man if u wanna go on a rampage 2gether send me a msg , but i thnk we should try the gf thing , i think it would help .

good luck
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i think its pretty normal to have alot of rage against people.
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I agree with artann if you need that much of a rush go sky diving,, why kill our women and children??
what did we do to you
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That is an absurd question. You ruined our minds with your incessant bullying, you tortured us into thinking we were worse than shit, you deprived us of love and showered us with hate, and when you had ripped our souls to shreds calling us loners because we're fucking afraid to go near you for fear that you'd judge us and hurt us and call us worse than shit, you tell us we're monsters and evil for doing the very thing that you taught us, that you trained us, that you compelled us to do, to fight back.

I apologise for this rant, I don't mean it at all personally, and I know perfectly well that this logic is irrational and allowing emotion to cloud judgement. My thoughts may also have nothing to do with those of the writer of this article, I was merely suggesting that a desire for such violent "retribution" could be the result of a sense that we are unfairly victimized. In other words, a sense of justice in a normally developed person would suggest that only people who do horrible things (i.e. serial killers, genocidal maniacs) deserve to die, but to someone whose whole life has been condemned to one of misery and suffering, and who must yearn every day for the joys that other people have, but he can never have, the society who rejected him have 'done horrible things', and so they must all be punished. It is thus out of a normal sense of justice (justice being a primal instinct, being present in all cultures of men [and even some primates]), but an abnormal sense of oneself as permanent victim of abuse (even if this sense is not without reason) that this kind of anger appears. In short, if oneself is the victim, there must be a purpotrator, and if it is society which has caused your pain, to the victim it is inevitable that this purpotrator should be society, and revenge must be dished out accordingly.

Oh, and as for those who say "I experience shit and never thought of killing anyone" this is unfortunate (the first part not the second part!) but it isn't really relevant. Circumstances differ and in some circumstances victims may be in a position where the purpotrator does not seem so clear-cut, and they may also experience love from certain quarters which help them to consider their enemies as exceptions to the rule. In addition, desire to go against one's society is normally only going to appear with a specific kind of prolonged grief which damages the a person's sense of morality slightly (even if some of the basic instints remain). Whereas other grief may be similar in strength, it may have a different effect on the person's state of mind.

Sorry for the rambling nature of this post, it's just my theory anyways.
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Theres a cheap place to go sky diving in vegas. people suck i work with the public but im not going to run around eating peoples brains
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i think that you will ffind someone in your lif that will change all of that for you. only if it is the right person.
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uh, i think you should be behind bars before you hurt/kill someone...
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