I had children with the plans to be a career mom and the main breadwinner. My husband was to stay at home with the kids. Unfortunately, I have a very irresponsible ex husband. The day our first born came home from the hospital he disappeared for three days. When I realized I was pregnant again and returned to work, because I am a 'responsible mom' and somebody needed to bring home the bacon, I came home to find the baby covered in feces in his crib and my husband fast asleep. CAS got involved and I needed to quit my job, because I am the 'responsible mom'. It didn't take long to realize that if I wanted to continue with my career I would have to pay for a sitter, even if he wasn't working because he was negligent. I paid for this because I am the 'responsible mom'. Needless to say, he left us and became homeless for a while, making his visits in my home as he has nowhere else to take them. He is the hero and I hear about it every day. I continue to plug away, trying to build my career around babysitters, doctor appointments, school appointments, dentists, etc, etc, etc. I get told many times a day how great daddy is and how bad I am because I have rules and I'm a 'responsible mom'. I wake up every morning to the sound of their terrible shrill kid voices, their food fights and their stalling tactics that make it impossible for me to get ready for work and that make me late for work. They hold me back professionally. I pick them up at night and I wrestle with them to go to bed, so that I can make up for being late by finishing my work while they're asleep. I was talked into getting custody, getting a will and life insurance to ensure that they are taken care of, even though I do not want to be a 'responsible mom'. Nobody seems to believe me...it isn't normal that a mother wouldn't want to take care of her children....even if she was planning on being the breadwinner, she should have some 'natural maternal instinct' that takes over...RIGHT?? Well, I don't. I hate my kids. I hate waking up with them around. I hate eating with them. I avoid them. Do you think I am normal?