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I hate my mother.
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I'm 21 years old, and I have hated my mother for as long as I can remember. Everything she says, everything she does, even the way she walks, coughs, eats, and breathes irritates me to the point where I feel like shattering a window. I get that burning feeling in my chest like I just have to break something (and I often do) whenever she's in the same room as me. She makes me physically sick to my stomach. The thing is, to my other family members and to friends, she's not that bad. She's strict, but not cruel. She says what she means, without worrying about peoples' feelings, but lots of people tend to be that way, and people don't hate them for it. Especially not their own family members.

I don't know what my problem is, or why I feel this way. All I know is that I hate her. And I know it's not fair or right, and that it doesn't make any sense, but I can't help it.
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Comments (299)
Many people's stories are much much worse than mine, but here I go anyway.

I'm 19. I live with my parents and 2 siblings. I don't hate my mother - at least I don't think do. I can't stand her attitude, her loud obnoxious repetitive comments, the way the walks up and down the stairs, the way she yells even when I'm standing next to her, the way she criticizes everything I do and never appreciates anything, always saying "Oh, you got an A... aim for an A+ next time!".

She never, EVER admits that she was wrong in any way. She's a sneaky old bitch in that she's extremely experienced in changing subjects. She complains constantly about every little thing, tries to control me and often talks about how useless I am.

I'm not perfect. I'm lazy. I like to be at home and watch TV. I like shopping, and sleepovers, and books. She always says she was a popular girl when she was young, and had tons of boyfriends, but I really really doubt it. She is so full of herself and boasting with... I don't know what exactly. She has language skills, but beyond that, her loud-mouthed, bad-breathed ugly face are a constant nuisance to me and the world.

I'm at prestigious uni in Japan, and I will be transferring to a good uni in England in the fall, partly because I can't stand living with her whole noisy upper-middle class attitude. I want to live a free life, not waking up in the middle of the night thinking about what a disappointment I am... which, truly, I am not. I have come to terms with that. I am not a failure. My poor younger sister still has not figured that out. I should tell her to stop minding my mother.

I am me. Not my mother's puppet.

Thanks for sharing, everyone.
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i am so glad i found this site. people think i'm a freak because i don't like my own mother. truth is, i hate her. never liked her. can't stand her ugly face, her voice, the way she acts. she is extremely unintelligent. she thinks aliens abducted her. she grosses me out. she trapped my dad by getting pregnant. i even found my favorite children's book in my dad's basement and noticed that a little me had crossed out all the "mommys" and wrote in dad. i love me dad, adored his mother (rip) hate her. i also hate her mother. she is a cold hearted bitch that never wanted to know me or do shit for me and makes me feel uncomfortable. some of her stunts: losing custody of my older brother before i born for allowing the bible study cult she was living with to beat him with tree branches (at the age of 3), taking no interest in my school, not retaining a word i have ever said, leaving me alone for the night as a child while my dad works so she can have an affair, admitting to me she thought a friend of mine was prettier than me when i was a little girl, shafting me on back to school clothes but always buying herself a fresh new ugly top, leaving my dad and trying to force us out of our home on christmas time after agreeing we could keep the house she didn't pay her fair share for, sending her boyfriend's daughters to college and footing the bill for their wedding on her dime while i suffer and struggle in minimum wage hell, blowing me off on my birthday after not seeing me for a year, promising me her car only to give it to someone else while i drive a deathtrap (she did this twice), driving over an hour every month to see her mother who lives a town away from me and not bothering to make plans with me ever while she's in the state. i could go on. i feel shame that i came from this disgusting and dumb woman.
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Thank you for sharing and you have my sympathies! I think that a lot of people just do not get it that some of us survived our early years with mothers who absolutely failed us! Is is sometimes almost like they think when you say that forbidden thing, "I hate my mother!," that in their little brains it seems you are actually saying that you hate motherhood and all mothers including their mothers. Seeing this page makes me feel less alone because I would really like to not hate my mother, but, sadly, she has more or less forced me to do so in her failures as a mother and as a human being.~Mike
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BND
I hate my mother also, but I don't feel like I should hate her as much as I do. Some of the things people posted on here sound horrible about the way their mothers treated them and some are similar to mine, but not to the degree that I should carry hatred at 37 years old. I try to call my mother and can't even speak to her. Anger immediatel comes up and I shut down and need to get off the phone. Even if she says she loves me and wants to talk to me I can't permit her to be loving with me.

She used to be obsessive about cleaning our house, would wake me up at 6am so that she could clean my room every morning. She used to tell me she wished she never had kids and call me an idiot or a little fool. When I would go to her crying and telling her i was sad, she would tell me to get a job and then see how hard life really was - and I was about six.

But I don't think these things should make me hate her the way I do. I feel a wall go up anytime I am round her.
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BND
You should get books on being the child of a narcissistic parent.
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Omg im super glad i can finally say why
I hate my mom...
im soon to be 20 my mom an i have never had such a good relationship
I remember when i got my first job i was almost 16 there used to be this old guy old enough to be my grandpa well he would look at me so weird say comments that i wasnt ok with
Well i ended telling my mom all she did was laugh... Ok so it got to the point were he just touched me ok i was young i tld my mother she didnt believe me that hurt i mean i was almost a straight A student i never missed school i never gave her any right for her to think i was out there with guys
.
When i turn 17 i started dating this boy he was my first boyfriend we got really close..i never had any alone time with if yu know what i mean. I
Well 2 yrago my best friend/ cousin passed away this was the hardest time . She was the only one i would yalk to well den i remeber i just want to talk to someone so the boyfriend i was dating invited me over to talk i never imagine what his intesion were

He ended raping me he hit me it was awful i never tld my mom because she wouldnt believe me
But what i did tell her was that i was pregnant i didnt knw what to do at the time. I was scared i thought my mom was going to be supported but no she ended up calling a hoe slut..etc a week passed by she took me to a clinic i didnt knw for what she had me get an abortion til this day i cant forgive her for what she did
Theres times were we are really good but then something inside of me makes
Get so.mad that i could hit her i tell her how much i hate and well after what she did i cant forgive.her
Im sorry but someone tell me is this normal what im doing how something i treat her so bad?
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Part 2

She always wanted to beat me for much longer, but I always tried to run away when I could and lock myself inside the bathroom. Then, she would complain about me to my father and he would catch me and beat me so hard, that I couldn’t protect myself at all. He liked to drag my body pulling from my feet or suspend my body from my hair, then beat me. And some hours later, my mother would come again and shout at me, complain and maybe beat me again. I don’t have many good memories of my childhood, I rather prefer I would never have had any childhood. At that time, I thought my parents were perfect like God, but when I got teenager and understood it was not normal at all and it was called domestic violence, I started to defend myself when they started beating me. I would just hold their arms with my hands, so they wouldn’t beat me uncontrollably. But, it is sure, it was not enough and I knew they had the power of beating me with whatever they wanted, but me, the only thing I could do is trying to protect myself.But if I hold their hands, they would start kicking me, so it was not possible to protect myself from them. In the end, I always ended being beaten up. People can accept parents beat children, but nobody accepts children who beats parents. Worst than being beaten up is being treated as trash. When my father was beating me, he used to say I shouldn’t have been born and he wanted to throw me in the trash. When I got teenager, I started calling ‘police, help me’ when they were beating me. My mother laughed cynically and said ‘police will never come’. I think she knew what she was doing was wrong, because she always closed all the windows before beating me, so the neighbors couldn’t hear my shouts of agony. I could write a book about all of the physical and psychological violence and the consequences of them, as for example phobia of people, hardships to make friends, to concentrate on studies or be stable in a job, loneliness, low self-esteem, trials of suicide, depression etc. I try not to talk about it to my friends, as I have tried to talk many times and people can’t understand my feelings. It’s not that I want them to say ‘how pity you are’, but I don’t want to hear ‘parents always love their children’ or ‘your are a naughty girl, that’s why they beat you’. But when people see extreme cases of mistreat against children on news, they always say ‘how devil these parents are!’. People don’t want to accept that child abuse is just in front of their eyes, it’s happening in the neighborhood every day. People don’t want to compromise themselves reporting child abuse to the police. Everybody can say child abuse is bad, but few can really take the initiative of combating child abuse. It shouldn’t be like this, people need more awareness on child abuse. I think hating mother is not normal, but being beaten by mother is also not normal. Unfortunately, it is something we can control. Even if I say ‘I love my mother’, my feelings don’t say the same. I still have many sores, not in my skin, but in my memory, in my life, in myself. I wish I could sleep and forget everything that happened. I wish my mother’s relatives and friends would know the person she really is. She made me a devil in front of everybody, she wanted me to believe that I’m devil, while she is the saint. But I know it is not true. She made my childhood a hell, the best day in life was the day I left their house. It was really hard because I had nowhere to go. I was in completely despair, but at the same time, I was feeling so good that I was free. I still feel good because I’m free, but looking for a cure for my sores.
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I wish I could say just the right words to make all that you've suffered go away forever. I have a story too, but it mostly concerns verbal and emotional abuse and controlling behavior I endured as a child. Luckily, I wasn't hit very much at all, so I truly feel for you. When I tell people about what I went through, they often say that verbal abuse is worse than being beaten up physically, but I have always wondered if that could really be true. What you had to deal with sounds pretty bad. Anyway, I just wish I had been there to help you out. I've always loved movies and other forms of pop culture where the good guys usually win and just before stuff like what you endured is about to happen in many movies, somebody comes in and saves the day. I wish real life was like that. It is sometimes though, so don't forget that. Again, I just wish I could make it all go away so that you could be happy for the rest of your life and never have to think about any of it ever again. Whether you can or not, please understand that it's okay to talk about what happened to you. You don't ever have to "get over it." What you endured doesn't have an expiration date and no matter what anybody says, you are entitled to present the facts as they happened to you. You have that right and always will. It's good for you, for your soul, to get it out sometimes. It's not wallowing in self pity or the painful past. It's just a way for you to deal with the trauma of what happened and how it still heavily impacts your life. But it is time for, not forgetting or even the hollow burden of forgiveness. It is time for the gift of understanding. And it is the duty of every good, decent human being, to accept and understand you for you, just the way you are. I won't preach any gospel to you because I don't believe in any of that controlling stuff. Unfortunately, when you're wounded, the wilderness of life is full of scavengers who prey upon the battered. Don't let them win. They cannot. They will not. Come what may, I just hope that my words here can take away even the effects of a single blow that you endured in the past. But whatever you do, keep fighting! It is your right, and is the most noble and genuinely good thing you can ever do for yourself. Know that. And last, but not least, if you should happen to have occasion to smile today, for any reason whatsoever, I wish you that same peace and joy for all the rest of the days of your life. Take care, and NEVER stop fighting back. For the world is full of callous, selfish people who seem too simple, too foolish, too dull or just plain ignorant to fully appreciate the damage they do to others. The hell with them. You are one of the good ones. Live on. Fight on. This alone is your freedom from all pain, sadness and hopelessness. It's a jungle out there... here. But you're a fighter. And a winner. Fight on and never surrender.
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Beautifully written and inspiring. Thank you Willi-am.
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wt cn i say.....i completely understand u....bcoz my mom is jus lyk urs....she beats me lyk anything.....she almost tried killing me 2day. she is a worst human being....i hate her..she curses me .....im still young ....dint finish my studies ...i want 2 leave dis house bt cnt leave.....she pretends 2 b gud in front of my relatives...i cnt even seek their help....she is making my lyf hell....plz help me hw 2 cum out of it
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Maybe she beats you because of your grammar.
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You're an idiot. What a stupid comment.
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Well To Be Honest I Would've Called The Police And Child Protector Services. I Strongly Agree That Child Abuse Is Wrong And I'm Glad That You Went Through That Miserable Time Because You Came Out A Stronger Person.
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@Tryingtounderstand, I am very sad to read all you've been through. I feel you cuz i have through similar things. Was being raped regularly at 6, forced to watch violent porns with my abuser. My parents had a very unhappy marriage. They were fighting all the time. Father had gf all over the country. Mom was the neighborhood slot. Always drunk and sleeping with her friends husbands. I resented her for doing nothing when i told her that my sick elder brother was raping me. They told him, Ismael stop rapping your sister but bang i was still home alone with me. After denouncing him twice and getting severely punished for it (bit me up naked and sexually punishing me)
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Writing for my useless phone...so my mom knew i being abused but her drinking agenda was more important. My dad died when i was 12 and she made up lies about him to justify her reckless behaviors. Sorry Jen i couldn't protect you that's because your dad did this and that. I found out the truth from my sis. PS: we all hate her . She destroyed our lives. 3 siblings divorced cuz of her. She used to pee everywhere when she was drunk. One day she peed on my school books. She came drunk and went to bed in my room and they were on the bed. She is like a witch or the devil to me. She abuses and manipulates me then she becomes sweet. I am the ONLY child that insists on keeping her around despite the cost. Now at 27 she lives with me and the father of my son and our son. Trying to leave him because he is physically and emotionally abusive. She plays a very nasty role in it. We are Africans so she argues that men beat women they love. She treats him like a king when he messes up so 'he'll stay with me' when i talk to her about leaving she tells him. I tell her mother, you have never supported me, i need you now. She goes and tell everyone in the community i am ungrateful. She
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Anyway, I'll write a much better post when i get on the computer. I just wanted to say that i have survived major depressive disorder and now i am more functional. It hit me when i read that you attempted suicide. I am fighting the ghosts of my past and i am trying to get the best of life and be a better woman and stronger mom. I have a MUCH better self-esteem and more define life purpose. I am leaning to give what i was refused: love. I still wonder if i am doing wrong by keeping her around. She is DIRTY, disgusting (spit everywhere and leaves a disgusting smell everywhere she goes). I lost my father and my sexually abusive brother.. Having lost people i cared about (even that brother) i manage her because i am scared she might die. Her reckless life has caused her to be sick all the time. I now realize that the fear of loneliness makes me very vulnerable. I see my happy and cheerful friends and i see that they have a good family background. Good relationships with their parents and siblings.we dun have that. Dad died (suspect she poisoned him), we all have signs of depression: my siblings call it demonic possession. They seek pastors instead of psychiatrists. I tell them, we've been through so much it is understandable that we end up unhappy. They ignore me and blame 'Satan' for their miseries
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i am happy i found this site, need somewhere to vent, i really hate my mother, she is th most fucking manipulative bitch in the world, twisting thing around , pushing peoples butons to get a reaction, then she comes around and starts to preach, like bitch if your gonna reach about the bible , live you life by . i hate that she tries to control ever aspect of my life, i just wish she would die1
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I am also glad I found this site because I can't stand my mother. The descriptions people have of their mothers on here resonate with me...manipulative, sneaky, causing anger like you want to punch something due to her bitchiness.

My mom is loud, obnoxious, and rude...the type of person that should put her foot in her mouth but is too stupid to realize what she just said was offensive.

My mom was more psychologically abusive and a slapper. Across the face all the time. But it didn't matter what I had done. I could be disrespectful (which is never acceptable) or spill my glass of milk accidentally...same punishment...smacked in the face. And I was always "fat, ugly, and stupid"...that's the feedback I got growing up.

She has been married 3 times. Every man left shortly after the marriage (my dad was the second marriage, and he apologizes to me regularly for her nonsense). Sometimes I think she has a mental disorder because one minute, she is sweet, and the next, she will literally try to kill you (guns, knives, running down with the car, etc). She is insane.

All her tennis friends think she is the best because she is two faced. I think the worst is when people say to me, "you look just like your mom", and I get it a lot...it makes me physically ill to hear.

Thanks for letting me vent!
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I think i have finaly found some one that understands me.
i am 16 and my mother is such an bother to my life i havnt lived with her over a year now and she is trying to fight for my custody against my god parents cuase my dad is in jail.all my mom is aiming for is my dads stuff like his truck his house and all that kind of stuff shes 41 and has a 23 year old boyfriend that is just wrong that could be my brother. i know my mom is aiming for my dads stuff cuase the officer told her that if she didnt have custody of me she could not take my dads stuff cuase its in my posetion... im stuck i dont know what to do i have a hearing today and its very possible that they try to send me with her, i think i might have to resort to foster care. i geuss ill just have to wait the 2 years out. :/
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"She never, EVER admits that she was wrong in any way. She's a sneaky old bitch in that she's extremely experienced in changing subjects. She complains constantly about every little thing, tries to control me and often talks about how useless I am."

You just described my own mother.
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When my mom is upset with me, she would deliberately hit my pet in front of me. I think is a clear confrontational situation. If I defend my pet, she will play to be the victim. She wont do this in front of others but just in front of me. The same when she will have very harsh words for me, she makes sure nobody is around like Dad or someone else that could be a witness.

I have discovered her, telling my father things against me, like to bring some discord between us. If she is not a witch, who else can be?
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I am so glad I found this. I fricking hate my mother. Sadly, my mother wasn't always a bitch. She was a lovely person up until I turned about 14 and then everything changed. She screams and shouts most days about anything and everything. She threatens to kick me out of the house if I so much as leave a cup out. She has told me that she wished she never had me, I make her want to kill herself, she hates me. All of that. Sadly, right now I cannot move out as I cannot afford it but thankfully I have my dad whom I am very close to. She is the exact same with him. Always putting him down and shouting at him. She used to be the same with my older sister until she moved out and got a rich boyfriend, now she loves her and disgustingly flirts with the rich boyfriend. She likes to pretend she has money (we are not poor, but we don't have millions) and all her friends are idiotic women "who lunch" whilst their husbands work in the City and have affairs.
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Holy crap... I'm reading down the whole blog for the first time, making comments where I can't help it, and I have to tell you DITTO !! My mom was the same way before Alzheimers rendered her a repeating tape loop of her worst verbal onslaughts, pandering to wealthy son-in-laws and all... I tell you, it is so GOOD to see that we are not alone!!! I wish I knew some of you people in and around where I live !!

All Best to You and Yours,
m
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Oh my god me and the person who wrote the first comment mite hav the same life!! my mother is exactly dat way wid me and my dad and my older sister and my rich bro in law
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My mother is the most deceptive, self absorbed and money hungry individual I have ever met. She is a bully, phony, liar and really should never have had children. For so many years I have tried to find ways of keeping a relationship with he but now I realize it is not possible. I look forward to the day that the separation is finally final (I am not talking about death), I am only referring to moving away from all the obligatory feelings that society attaches to to notion of mother/child bliss. Makes me want to puke.
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I hate my mother as well. She is the biggest FUCKING bitch I have ever known in my entire life. Stupid bitch puts on one face in front of people and another face with her family. She has never been there for me, as her daughter and never understood me or allowed to me share my thoughts and feelings with her. Fucking bitch has this FUCKED UP habit of downplaying/mocking/disregarding everything I or my siblings say- just because we're the kids and she's the mum. She isn't one of those affectionate mothers who will sit down with you and listen and hear you out - just a total motherfucking BITCH with a MASSIVE complex about everything and everyone - if anyone dare criticize her, she goes INSANE - thinking she's the Ultimate Saintly person who has never wronged anyone and must therefore be near-worshipped. She has ruined me and my life, especially my mature life (I still live at home un-fucking-fortunately) - I'm moving outta this hell hole the very next chance I get. Never want to see that bitch ever again.
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This is exactly how I fucking feel. You almost made me cry because my mother is just like that, but no one seems to understand. Being the child means people with automatically side with the parent(s) so I feel like shit and I hate everyone because no one seems to understand my mother is undercover evil. I hate this shit hole I live in also.
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[Part II]
4) In 1998, I was 33 and was struggling to build a career life for myself, this after failing to complete college due to emotional and behavioral issues... I had just gotten a good job working for a university, and was embarking on a path that would allow me to start taking classes, etc. At that time, mom ran into the mother of an old friend from grade and high school in some department store in my home town. The poor friend's Mom made the mistake of asking, "How's your son??" Well, my mom launched into a crazy tirade out of the blue, saying things like, "he never amounted to shit...he's no good... he never did anything with his life and never will". My friend found out from his Mom what went down, and though he and I hadn't spoke for years, he tracked down another friend that had been in contact with me, and after agonizing over what to do, decided to reach me and tell me what happened...

So, I am telling you this because -- It took me too many years to realize that my mother's opinion was worth absolute shit, and that I should have stopped considering her an important part of my life, long ago. I did start to realize around 16/17 that she was often wrong about many things, but I guess I still had that reaction of listening to her, and caring what she thought. In her case, and possibly in your case, making a definite emotional break as cleanly and as soon as possible may be the most important thing you ever do for yourself. There are already habits in your mind, as that person's child, that would tend to wear you down. This doesn't mean you have to "stay away at holidays", but it does mean coming to terms as soon as possible that your mother very possibly cannot love you unconditionally, and that YOU are not bound by the same fate with your own children !! My sisters, for example, all became caring, and absolutely loving mothers to their kids.
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do we have the same mother? :)
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[Part III]
The importance of saying goodbye as soon as possible: It just so happens, my goddamn bat-crazy hateful mother came down with Alzheimers' in the past 5 years. About 3 years ago, she absolutely forgot who I was. She now torments my wimpy, cowardly, take-it-up-the-ass father (another story...). She verbally assaults him every waking hour, because quite simply, this is the core that remains of her entire personality and capability as a human being. What a hateful bitch !!! AND, she gets off scott free if you think about it. My Dad and local siblings now wait on her hand and foot, and soon will have to wipe her ass, and NONE of us will ever get to hear anything close to an honest apology from her, because from her point of view, the past is completely, conveniently gone...

The point, you may never get the apology you deserve. Make that break decisively, NOW for YOU, and use the fact that you are aware of your situation to go out and NEVER do the same to another human being.

Truly, the best of luck to you!

All good things,
m
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How do you let it go. I have been manipulated, controlled, made responsible for my mother my whole life. I am in my 40's and still cant get away from her. now she is older and probably is forgetting or sick or needs help but i am so tired of having to take care of her and not myself for years. i hate her but then i feel like a bad person for hating my own mother and i know hate just hurts me. one time she had to have a medical procedure done. she was scared. i took the day off from work to take her and stay home with her after. that morning she was still in bed and i said "mom, you should bet up and get dressed, we have to go soon" and she said "i'm scared, its going to hurt. i wish you were going instead of me" wow, thanks mom, that's a summary of my whole life. I think my mother just had me to do the household chores (my whole family has always called me cindarella), to dump her depression and anger on and to take care of her. in her eyes, i have never been allowed to have a life.my sister is treated much differently. my sister can say "mom, i bought some new flowers to plant in my backyard" and my mom will say "oh how nice honey" with me it would be "why didnt you buy some flowers to plant in my yard" i cant have a home, family, go on vacation, happiness anything for myself. i am supposed to include her and let her interject herself into every area of my life. she is always sick and depressed around me and no matter what I am doing in my life, she drops her cloak of blackness on me. i honestly dont think i would be sad if she died tomorrow. i also think that if i moved away or she died, i would still have something unresolved. i dont want to carry this hatred, resentment, responsibility for someone, feeling that I am not allowed happiness of self. i can see why my dad left her
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I have the same issue, there is no way i can love her like a mother, but i am afraid of the hatred which is exploding. I feel that she is gloating over my failure, n this is not healthy for me. I hope the best for you and may we can accept all these hurt n become stronger.
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momhater666, I have felt bad for me for a long time, but after reading your post, I feel aweful for you. You are living my greatest fear. I'm sorry dawg, how's it going nowadays?

I created a profile with IIN just to check in with you, I was so curious as to how that worked out?

All the best!

-Gina
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[Part I]
Hey, to OutOfMyMind (74418):

Your description sounds like my own. I feel like telling you something just because I'll bet you are relatively young, which means there is still time for you to make changes NOW and avoid what happened to me!! I don't mean to scare you, but rather motivate you, so here's only part of my story, enough to get the point across:

I am a 46 year old male, and I can honestly say that my life is nearly a total failure, probably about 80% due to my mom. The other 20% of blame goes toward severe depression, which if you consider comes genetically from mom's side of the family, is that BITCH's fault too !!

Just a few highlights to show you I'm not posing: My mom --
1) would *often* gather my siblings and myself around after we got home from school, and would just start ranting and raving about "...how you kids don't know what it takes to run this house...are ungrateful...your father is no good... you kids don't appreciate how much it costs to raise you...". Now, I was as young as 5 when I first remember these "sessions", and my four siblings would have been 10, 12, 15 and 19.
2) would rouse my sisters out of bed at 8am on Saturday mornings and maniacally make them clean the entire house top to bottom. EVERY weekend...
3) would tell us how "lousy/bad/filthy rich/etc." all of our friends and their parents were... To this day, I struggle to not habitually react and judge people the way she did.
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Just let you know that after years and years of keeping it all in I had to go get help or I would have ended up in nut house. My mother was so busy with her so called life when I was a child she would leave me with anyone she could. Some of the those where child molesters So I was real fucked up in the head for some time. I don't care how much help I get I still hate men. I am lucky that i never turned out to be drunk or druggie. But anyways she used to bring me over to this one house and the old man there would pull down my pants and pinch me on my prevents in front of my mom. I was only 4 at the time. Now if it was my son and someone did that to my son I would beat them to death and not think it was funny like she did. I can not wait to she is dead so I can piss on her grave and if she is cremated I going to mix her ashes with dog shit
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I know how you feel.I am 45. My mother would make fun of me in front of my friends, Tell me how she going to smash my face in. My dad was in the Navy till I was in the 4th grade even then he was busy with work. I could not wait till I could get out of that home. She would tell everyone that is if was the first I would have been the last. When My dad was not around she would be beat me with a fucking wooden spoon for anything she could find. I remember when I was 4 years old she found a cat that the landlord had killed with a stick. She blamed for it just to see me get in trouble and I was beating with a belt. She would take my money that I had earned saying she would pay me back, she never did. My mother always favored my bother he could do no wrong she would tell him how much she loved him and hated that I was ever born. IF she never wanted me I wish that she give me up. Life would have been so much better. All she ever did was bitch to anyone that would listen how bad of child I was, How bad was in school, How bad I am as dad, She told my wife one that she did not like me, why would anyone marry me. She would take me to Doctors and ask what was wrong with me. Well nothing but I just needed some help with school. I wish that one of those Dr. would have told her it was Her.
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Thank you so much for your post. I have been walking around for 5 yrs. (She died 5 yrs. ago)feeling guilty and going to endless therapy. Finally I find out that I am not the only one who had a great, sweet mother. My mom had dementia and went from bitch to super bitch. And I had to take care of her. I live in South Dakota which is 50 years behind the rest of the nation in the field od social work and psychology so I have been bleeped over by the system here. Her therapist needed to commit her when she got dementia not make me take care of her.
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Your comment is the story of my life.
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Totally my life! I think you are my twin! Geezzz...
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same mother in all aspects, she just think that my older brother is better then the whole world, and unfortunetly he isn´t he´s just as selfish as she is
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I suggest you move out while you can...that much hatred is bad for your health. If you stay much longer she could really mess you up...personally you sound like one spoiled person...save your mother's sanity and move.
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OMG, you read my mind. I feel the EXACT same way about my mother, and would agree with all of your words to describe her. My life has been a struggle due to her, she's (my mom) a no good cold ass, fake ass BITCH.
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Oh thank you so much for writing that text I have exactly the same situation!! Especially putting on one face in front people and another face for family. All the way along her friends have come first. She is so immature never listened to us properly or tried to understand our feelings it was terrible. Although I live independantly thank god and have my own family even one phone call can mae me feel so angry as all the hurt and anger boils up again. I have managed to get her back in various ways now though and feel triumphant don't be worried about being bit horrid to her she has had her kicks pay back!!!!
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OMG! My mom kicks me out of home every two days, because she knows I have no where to go. I am unemployed. What a bitch!
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Wow sounds like my mum @outofmymind but as much as i dislike her i still love her. i have a heart and as much as she shouts and disrespects me i cant just forget her. A mother gives birth to you there will always be a connection no matter how mean they are its crazy!
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I disagree with the person who said that we should never say we hate our mother because she gave birth to us, raised us- blah, blah, blah. Some parents should never be allowed to be parents. Just because someone gives birth to us doesn't mean we have to love them 'no matter what". Screw that. My mother is a total pyscho and I hate her ass. I am 54, and I have felt that way since I was 15 and it only gets worse. She was a terrible mother, only cared about cleaning the house and put on an act of being a good mother only in front of people visiting. She does this even now, with my grandson. Pretends to be a good great grand mother...it is all a fucking act. She could care less about anyone in our immediate family and she talks about and complains about us all. She only stays touch with us because of what her friends would think of her if she didn't get calls or visits from us.I can't even begin to tell of all her crap parenting. I will at some point (get back on here and talk about it). The only good news is I have a sister 5 years older than I am and she feels the same way and saw the same shit growing up and sees it now. At least I know I am not making it all up, I got a witness.
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BND
You also should get books on being the child of a narcissistic parent.
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"only cared about cleaning the FUCKING house". very tired of listening to this every single day. She is fucking obssesed with the house.
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i realy dislike mine, dont like the word hate. she has told me from the day i was born that she didnt want kids, and i really believe she should not have ever had any. i live in terror of her every time i have to see her and i am 32 years old. when i think about her death i let out a sigh of relief. the only thing i will be feeling when she dies will be relief. everything will be so much easier when she gone. rip
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Is like you took the words right out of my mouth about the death part, but my problem is my gma she resents having me live with here and always hits me she gave me a black eye recently, but i hate my mother for leaving me. Luckily my grandmother is old and soon die, cant wait for that glorious day
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I'm glad i found this forum, I'm 33 and I hate my mother like I'm a teenager, I haven't had a proper conversation with her in years, I want to change that, not for her but for me, I can't deal with so much hate, it spreads to other areas of my life...I don't wanna be bitter, this hate is like a burden for me, I too go to another room if she walks in, I too, feel disgusted if she comes near and tries to give me a kiss and... I think all her questions/comments are comepletely idiotic...even if they're not...she was abusive when I was a kid, she made it clear she didn't want me, and I had to trough life without her support, maybe she had a hard life, maybe not, but I think that shouldn't bother me anymore...I'm afraid of having kids cause I dont want them to hate me as much as I hate her...I'm lost, I don't know how to get rid of this hate...wish I could have it removed, like a tumor, take some pills and it's over...or maybe become amnesiac and forget all my life and start over without hate...I don't know...I just needed to say it, I hate her, and this hate is hurting me.
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You need to get away from your mother. It's obvious you have a toxic relationship. Just because someone gives birth o you doesn't mean they are your mother. There were plenty of women in my life who I regarded as my "mother" over my biological mother. A mother is someone who nurtures you and believes in you. If she's not doing that for you...it's time for her to go bye bye. You may feel guilty at first, but that guilt is coming society's views that you should "respect" your "mother" no matter what. Well not everyone grew up with Carol Brady as their mother. Some "mothers" do not deserve respect, because they do not respect themselves or their children. It's time for you to move on and find a support group to deal with your issues. We always have to ask ourselves this question. If my mother wasn't my "mother" would I choose her as my friend? If you answer NO...it's time to GO.
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My mother actions and words haunt me. She is greedy, self centered,wants pity all the time. I am 33 yrs old and mom still emotionally abuses me to this day. She runs me down to my kids. She says I am fat. She has no respect or consideration to anyones feelings. Everything has to revolve around her. Because of her emotional abuse. I battle with panic and anxiety disorder. When I am around her she makes me sick to my stomach as well. Everyday I am trying to heal from her abuse. She has strange beliefs. She worries bout every single little thing.I think about when she dies how I seriously would be relieved. Especially with the little bit of love I have for her which is not much...she could rest in peace. I read the bible to help me but sometimes its not enough.I cant understand who someone calls themselves christians can be abusive behind closed doors. She has no friends. She acts like she is glad dad died cause she gets money for his death from cancer. I hate her so much. I cant seem to get her out of my life I feel cursed with her. I wish shed go away leave me alone. She has threaten to take my kids away because she wants the earned income tax credit at end of the year and tells my daughter that too. There seems like their is no peace from her. I will never have peace and I cant handle the pain she puts me through. Everyday is a battle with everything cause I dont want to be like her ever!!good luck and I hope you find some peace from parents like this.
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@: jozadak
I felt really sad at your story my mom emotionally abused me and my sister, telling me things like she wished shed got dad to wear a condom on the night i was concieved. She says she is clinically depressed, but is so selfish and doesnt see how harmful she was. I hardly see her out of choice even though my parents live 2 minutes away. I struggle with feelings of gulit and when shes with my 3 year old son she acts all sweet etc which when I see them together it makes me feel sick with rage, I was wondering how you cope with your children around your mother? :-)
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@: sarahw
Wow... My heart is going out to all the folks who write stuff here. I guess we all do have very very much in common. One thought about your case: My mom, who was a tyrant probably similar to yours, also pulled the same stint with her grandkids -- she became a completely loving angel to them, much to the astonishment of myself and my siblings. But fear not, as they got older, she couldn't help herself:

As soon as they were a little older, she began the same vindictive, critical, accusatory shit with them. Depending on who she was speaking with when, she would complain and degrade this or that grandchild. If my siblings and I would bother getting together and collecting all our reports together (we recognize it is not worth it..), we would have collected a "report card of hatred" for each of the grand kids !!

Then, as they got even older, passing into college and adulthood, mom eventually showed her true colors to all of them -- By this time, all of the grand kids have understood what kind of a person grandma really is, and none of them have a close relationship with her. Lucky for them, the relief they get that their parents did not get is that grandma is only grandma -- when they leave her house, they can leave her behind. Many of them elect to not even visit her on the holidays, and none of us blame them!!

Anyway, this is all to say: Don't feel jilted, like your mom somehow completely changed and is able to treat your children with the love she never gave you.. Chances are, she will blow it with them too... I think the phenomenon you see is possibly because: your mom doesn't have to live with and care for her grandkids every day.. They become convenient like visiting pets(!). Just as your kids can leave grandma at her house, she can wave goodbye, and they are not subject to her daily abuse because of it..

I'm glad this post is here. It gives me a tiny chance to say things I've always felt to people who know what I'm talking about !!

All Best to You and Yours,
m
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@: jozadak
Your mother sounds like she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The narcissistic wound is created by a threat to the body or life so horrible that the person is only be concerned with themselves forever after. I'll bet that if you dug around, you'd find she's carrying a terrible secret. But that is not YOUR problem. She should have had the courage to face her demons and work through them in therapy. Instead, she chose to make everyone else around her miserable. You cannot argue with a narcissist. You will lose. They are only concerned with how they think others perceive them...like your mother pretends to be a Christian. They have no ability to see themselves as they truly are. To them the world is a stage and they have the starring role. You are way too old to allow her to emotionally abuse you. It is important that you seek therapy and get your power back. Don't be her victim or you may become her successor. Remember your own daughter whenever your mother opens her foul mouth and remove yourself from the equation. Keep reaching out to God and pulling away from her. It will take practice. She's had 33 years to train you to be a victim. Good luck.
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@: jozadak
just move away lol
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@: jozadak
Dear i know what exactly you are going through physicality and believe me it sucks .I have gone through the same mess like you ,she ruined my fathers life and she ruined my life too. She insulted my father every single day of life till he died and then she started boasting about how she cared about my father all through his life .My father was not well for a long time and unfortunately he had to depend on her taking her abuses.I was a bright student she started interfering in my studies and I ended up being a bad student with poor grades .Now i don’t have even have a job The worst part is that i know how much she cared for her own family,dad and mom and how self centred and mean she is . Now she is left alone in a big house and it seems after years god is finally punishing her .
Dear if you really want to get this lady out of your life then seriously you should live as farther as way from her as possible otherwise this mother bullying will never end .I am in a different country and I live much more peacefully she doesn’t have any interferences in my life and I have made it very clear.Do you have to take a firm stand yes you have to other wise this bullying will never stop.You have to make it very clear that you will not tolerate any interference from her regarding your personal life .If you have to cut her out from your life do that .You should understand what she does to you is mother bullying .Its a common normal problem that exist .It cannot be justified and you dont have to feel guilty about taking any action in this regard .The more you bend your heads for her bullying the more aggressive she will become and she will ruin you completely .Take courage and start acting now . the first option being living as farther as possible and cutting down on communication as possible . I don’t know about your financial status but try to be as financially secure as possible .Dont think that as soon as you say to her the interference should stop she will stop doing that she will put up quite few fights before giving up .You should stuck to what you want to pass over the tide other wise remember the tide will engulf you
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it depresses me that i am 21 and motha has never hugged me or told me she loves me
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The same with me...
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Aoi
I also hate my mother. My mother had a rough childhood and carried that with her and instead of letting it go she forced it upon my father and I. It was awful. One moment she is so loving and the next she screams and use physical violence. She thinks everyone is against her and she thinks these crazy thoughts. After a fight she gives everyone involved the silent treatment and after a while pretends it never happened. She has never once apologized for any hurtful comment she says because she once said "You make me so mad I just have to say something to shut you down." I use to love my mother to death and even took her side when my parents divorced. I moved away with my mother thinking "Yay, she wont be sad anymore." I was so dead wrong. All the things she did to my father that I was not seeing she started doing to me. She is verbally abusive and when I was young she was very physically abusive. She even said traumatic things to me that I thought she would never ever say and it makes me cry uncontrollably ever time I think of it. Of course, she pretend that it wasn't a big deal and that I should get over it. This woman had this way of making me feel as if it's my fault for everything and she'll blame me. She loves taking personal things I say to her and use it as ammo to shoot back at me when she gets really angry; I can't even talk to her. I hate my mother.

Now that I'm 20 I still live with her. I made plans to move out and go back home to my Dad who recovered from her abuse and is very peaceful now. As for my relationship with my mother, I talk to her in monotone. I dislike her and I express that I don't want her around with the sound of my voice. I still show her the respect a mother should be shown. I don't confide in her anymore because it's pointless and will only hurt me in the end. I give her short answers to her questions and do as she says so I don't have to talk to her for the rest of the day or night. It's like walking on egg shells with her and I'm sick of it. She shows me her pleading sadness to my behavior but all I could think is: Damage is done. It's too late for you to start caring now.
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I agree with your negative replies. I also hate my mother. I wish her dead. It is the worst bitch on earth and most stupid and dumb.
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I hate mine 2
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My Narcissistic Mother: I am so grateful to have venue to express feelings I could never share with family or friends. I wish I was born to another woman. I am embarrassed of my mother. She is physically a beautiful woman, but that's about it. Everything else about her is hideous. She never walks into the house with a smile on her face. She comes in cussing and in a bad mood, but claims to be a Christian. If we have company, she talks over them, changes the subject in the middle of our conversation or flat ignores them. She won't admit that she is ignorant of the most current events, so she changes the subject to totally inappropriate conversations (sex, all the men she used to date, etc.). She knows every embarrassing way to butcher the English language. I cringe when she joins conversations with her husband's family. I know they think she is an idiot. The only time I see her animated and happy is when some guy has flirted with her at the department store where she works. I resent her for getting pregnant on purpose to trap my father. She knew that his Catholic family would force him to marry her. Soon afterwards she had my sisters and brother. She never wanted any of us. She even told my siblings that if abortions had been legal, they would not have been born. She lacks empathy (a trait of narcissists). What kind of woman would tell that to her children? They have never gotten over those horrible words that came out of the serpents mouth. One day she is going to need her kids, but everyone has moved away except me. They only call because they are required to "honor" her (Honor thy father and thy mother). But none of us love her. Love is something that cannot be forced or coerced. Love is patient, love is kind. My mother is none of those things. The real mother figures in my life has always been my paternal aunts and my great-grandmother. They show/ed me unconditional love. My mother is jealous of my attachment to the women on my fahter's side of the family. They are educated, kind, easy-going and classy. All she cares about is looking in the mirror at herself. How sad is that? Now that she is old, it is hard for her to let go of her youth. She lives in the past and will bore us with stories of how she used to be this and that. She tells the same stories 3-4 times per week. All storied are centered around her, of course!!! She would never tell us a story of interest, for example, a nice story about her grandparents and great-grandparents migrating to the West Coast, etc. Nope! That would be too interesting to us. Let's hear another story about how the boys in school all thought she was so pretty. Ugh - puke - gag! Thanks for letting me vent. I actually feel better. p.s. I adore my dad. He earned it!!!
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HMM
wow! i really thought i was abnormal for hating my mother, but now that i found this blog i feel so much better. My mother has serious issues. I wish i had born from another woman. IM so jealous of people that have a real loving mother. My parents divorced when i was 11, it was then went everything went wrong between my mother and i. She used to told me her problems with my father, and how he was the worst man on hearth. She used to give me details about how he cheated on her and with who(never knew if it was truth tough, my father always said it wasnt truth...dont really care) I mean! please!! what kind of person tells that to her 11 years old daugther! She forced me to grow up! and because of her i hated my father for a long time.
She is a liar bitch! she never apologize when she is wrong! and changes every situation to her own convinience. what i hate the most its when she includes me on her lies. she has make my life imposible ever since i started dating my boyfriend (who is the best person i have ever meet). She screams instead of speaking and had some searious issues about sex. for her, everything its dirty and bad. i wouldnt mind if that would have been her own opinion, but she tried to pass that to me. for her "making love" do not exist, its always a devil thing! she pretends to be the perfect christian and always makes her self looks like she is the victim! I used to belivied in God, now, because of her, im not that sure anymore. I dont wish her dead, but if she die, i dont think i will even cry.
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I am so grateful for this site. Its good to know my mother is not the only psycho impossible to please bitch on this planet. Anything I do is never good enough. I've been looking for a job and she makes it a point to tell me everyday how lazy and spoiled I am. She's a real estate agent which makes me hate her even more because if it weren't for her fucking job maybe my parents wouldn't have divorced. But i don't blame my dad one bit she is a total self centered bitch who is ALWAYS in the right. And she is a perfect moral human being. 'cough cough' yea ok she is a real estate agent she lies for a living. She makes her money by being a two-faced hypocritical lying cheating bitch and she expects me to be her assistant. And then wanders why im always in a bad mood when i have to come work for her. i finally went off today and told her i was done working for her because she is so fucking critical of every tiny thing i do and she gets mad at me for not being all jolly while i work on stupid shit and she sits and lies to people on her phone 24 fuckin 7. ive had enough. this relationship has reached its limits. im supposed to rent an apartment with 2 friends for college and now she's telling me she won't sign a fucking lease for me because im 18 and you have to be 19 to sign on your own. I told her my dad would do it and she said she was going to tell him not to and if he did she was going to create fucking hate chaos between them. i don't know what the fuck to do because nothing i do pleases her. i hope my dad just says fuck her and does it anyways. im so fucking tired of hearing her say how fucking spoiled i am when i have devoted my whole life to making good grades in school and being a good teenager by not getting involved in alcohol and drugs. and now i just wish i would have done all of that shit so her fucking expectations wouldn't be so damn high. She literally said "fuck you" to my face today. And there are so many things i wanted to say to her but i took the caution to hold my tongue because of her feelings but she never thinks twice about mine. i fucking hate her and as soon as i get the chance im moving as far away as i can get. i don't want her to be part of my life even if she did give birth to me i probly wood've been much happier if i was never born. but instead she gives me depression every fucking day of my life. i hate that bitch!
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Dear just let it go .You have taken the right decision to move out of home .if she doesn’t support you financially who cares you can always get a job and pay for your education.What she does to you is bullying and its entirely her problem not yours. I didn’t realize this as a teenager and it ruined my life .Move out of house and start living your own life with out any one bullying you
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I am right with you! I am 19 and cannot stand my mother. She is so materialistic and rediculous! The things she says dont even make sense. When I look at her or hear her voice it makes me want to scream very bad and mean things. In fact, whenever she is around, a bunch of mean thoughts about her pop up in my head and I just wish I could say them to her. She is a workaholic and she is always yelling at my stepfather and I because "we dont do enough around the house". It doesnt help that she is completely OCD about having the house perfectly neat, clean, and in order. I work alot so I am not home often but when I am, I feel full of anxiety because of her. To top it off, she has anxiety as well and it just doubles mine. Im leaving to go to college in about 6 months and I have to live with her until then.. I dont know what Im going to do. Ive already left once but I know that the smartest thing to do right now is live at home and do community college b4 I leave to dorm at my 4 year college... Does anyone have any suggestions to help my mother see from my point of view.
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People with OCD NEED to be in control. They are toxic to the spirit and must be avoided as much as possible. You are still young. Try to tune her out until you can afford to get out on your own. Then do it and establish good boundaries. Only call during scheduled times (like every Sunday) and talk for only 5 minutes. Stay in touch by email and/or postcards if you move far away which I recommend you do. She will never see your point of view but you can make her respect your boundaries if you set firm ones like "I'll call you once a week". Remember, only you can allow her to abuse you once you're an adult. Good luck and stay the course.
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I would recommend not to be afraid of your mothers and not to hide your fears, behave the same way as she behaves and then she will feel fearful ha ha. she will be the scared one. we have to fight with bad people!
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thanx god....I though i was getting crazy...
english is not my firts language so, Im apologizin a head. all you guys feel you.im feeling and the same way of most of you about the feeling towards my mom...stomach sickness hate feelings..i hate her for real..short description about my situation im colombian my mom let me when i was 3 years old, so she can come to usa to make money for the family...bull shit ..she went to usa to be a prostitute working in bars and getting drunk smoking and having fun.. she has been here for 30 years now.. now she lives from the goverment help
when she had returned to colombia the only thing she has in her mind was parting, i was 7 at that time ..my grandmother(R.I.P abuelita)who had raised me..damn i have tears in my eyes while im writing this... .I dont have a father until i met him when i was 13 years old...the guy does not want me around neither.. he was not mean .. just not interested in been my father..cause of my mother..waoo
Im 34 years old now..im not a loser but i strugle a lot with anxiety and depression..plus my inability to make truth relationships with people in diferents level love, family friendship, social, academic..waaoo so many empty spot in my personality...my family is united but they dont want to be agains my moms desition wherever it is..even if is wrong (most of the time) cause she gets mad.she is a bich..my mom got pregnant again. when she was 40 insane, she left my sister with my aunt when my sister was 3 month old (thats evil) second time when you left a child in this stupid world...after some time she had bringed me to usa with a greencard i was 27yr old...so i decided to live wiht her..been honest i was exited with the idea firts time when i will be living with her..big mistake so i went to NH to a friend house..fun..i spent 3 years there..i got bored with the country life so i decided to give another shot here in NYC with my mom...and moved back ..big mistake again..
we went back to colombia together..stupid idea we fight saying big bad words..
the worst part is we have a project with 5 apartments in colombia and all are by her name..i have been working so hard for finish this project (so i can moved back and never come back and see her)i fucking trust her.. ..so i told her to put 2 aparments by my name and she told me ...go eat shit i wont give a shithole..so now i have to star from zero..and im losing all drive in my life..almouts forgot to tell you guys Im stillliving with her in NYC ..but im movin back to NH..but im afraid..dont know why..thank you if someone read my post ..and say somenthing wherever it is..appreciate bye

the colombian guy
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Mothers are like opinions. Everyone has one; not all of them are good.
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true that!! i hate mine to the core! for all the unexplainable things she's done and still doing :(

i'm 21 yrs now & i can't wait to graduate next year & go abroad for higher studies!! just have to bear one year of torture & everything worse in my life.. i'm sure my life will be better after that!! All these years the only support i got was from my dad! he's the best dad in the world & my mother is the worst mom in the whole damn world !
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i hate my mother. i dont dislike her i hate her. ever since i was little i remember making her someting for christmas and she would just throw it out. whenever i saved all my money to get her something nice she asked if she could return it. when i was 7 i remembered asking her if i wasnt her daughter would she still love me and she said no.i have so much resentment towards her. i hold every little thing she has done to me in my childhood to her. i know its not healthy for someone to be holding onto these emotions for such a long time but i cant help it.

now that im older she is some what easier to be around. she drinks so much at night it unbelievable. she drinks about 1-2 bottles of red wine a night and claims that its good for you.

we fight most nights. during the day she is ok but at night i want to die.she is the most horrible person ive ever met. i dont want her to die but i want her as far away from me as possible. she claims everything is my fault. i envy other people that have somewhat of a good relationship with their mothers. i have no plans with attempting to build i relationship with her. once i have enough money to move out i plan never to see her again, maybe the ocassional visit to my dad once a year but that is the only time i plan to see her. she sickens me. i could fly halfway across the world and still not be far away enough from her.
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@: damgurl
After reading your account of your mother its shocking how much i feel for you. When I was about 9-10 years old i gave my mother a mother's day gift, but she just threw it away and throughout my childhood i've had countless nightmares of her. Hopefully one day when i get enough money i'll move out and never have to see her again, but somehow i can be on the other side of the world and it still doesn't seem far enough. She always pays more respect to one of my brothers who doesn't even now how to wash a dish and is so disrespectful to her. Last year he even smashed a chair over another one of my brothers head because some piece of the PS3 was missing! When i'm near her i have to leave the room becuase she just sickens me. Shes protentious and mean. I've ran away twice but i always seem to be back here. In our culture and i'm basically bred so i can marry and breed. I'm a university student now but i'm still living here with her. I feel like i'm sufficating and i keep telling myself after i get my qualifications, i'll get a job and leave, but what if i can't? I guess i've gotten so used to her cruel indifference that i no longer bother making friends. GOD I HATE HER!! she's ruined my childhood and will probably continue to ruin my future.
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Oh, your comment is pretty much the story of my life. My mother is the worst person in the entire world. I'm born and raised in a culture in which respecting your parents is one of the most important thing, but how can you respect someone you absolutely despise?? She has never ever shown any respect towards me, so why would I have to show respect towards her? She puts me down in every single way possible, from when I was in my middle and high school years, she would complain to me about how fat I was getting (I was a size zero then. As if she's bitching about a size zero), to the point where my self-esteem is so low that it barely exists now. She has never shown any support ever, from my opinions to what I want to pursue as I am in university right now. The littliest thing will piss her off. I could say something, and it would blow her entire head off. I am sick and tired of hearing about her constant bitching. She's always pissed off, thinks she is 100% right about everything. She treats me like her dog, as if she can push me around. Being in the same room as her, makes me sickened. I would want to leave so badly, and every little thing she says angers me.
I am so glad this is a place where I can rant.
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@: damgurl
sounds like how my daughter feels about me.
Is there anything that your Mom could do to change so you might stop hating her.
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v11
Listen to what she has to say, she could have traits that she doesn't even know about clearly, like things that annoy her or trigger something, and she might just need someone to show that they care. Do something for her or do something together and let her lead the conversations. Be a mediator, and help her. She does not want to hate you, you have to show her you don't want the negitive relationship.
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I hate my mother so much. Im so glad that I found this website. My mother forced me and my boyfriend to break up. She is a self-absorbed witch and always tries to rule my life. She took away the closest person in my life and I will never ever forgive her for that.
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If it bothers you her bad parenting then it means that you do care. And there is nothing bad in that, she is in fact you mother. On my story my mom says whatever pops in her head and she doesn't care my feelings. IF she wasn't my mother I would prob brush it off. But she is my MOTHER and it bothers and hurts me soooo muchhh to the point that I begin to hate her. Everybody loves her she is beautiful she TRIES to be a good mother. I give her kudos for that. but I can't help to be annoyed by her I know that if I don't see her much everything would be just fine. But because of the bad parenting she gave me when I was a kid I do not feel with much energy to be independent. I have low self esteem, anxiety and anger management issues. I DO love her I just don't approve her parenting. The moments I needed her guidance the most she wasn't there for me and now its too late to act like mommy. I need to do this MYSELF and beg to God I will someday be brave and move on.
Please people if you ever have kids BE A PARENT you are everything to them and when you are old they will be everything for you. Love and care always.
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Cut the bitch out of your life! The sooner you do, the sooner you'll regain your sanity. A mother is someone who is supposed to nurture, not drive you crazy. Some desperately try to get love and approval from a person that is just not capable of giving it. The sooner you realize this...the better off you'll be. You have to be your own parent in this life, because to be quite honest, most parents don't know what the hell they're doing half the time. Most of the garbage people have in their heads is not from them. It is from faulty parenting...whether it be from the father or mother. Time to clear out the garbage and start thinking for yourself.
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Finding this was a bit of a relief.
It's so hard for me to express how I feel about my mother to most people, as they shrug it off as a joke, or a product of my age (I'm 21).
But, honestly, I don't know what to do. I hesitate to say I hate my mother, as I really don't think I do. However, I do not *like* her, nor do I love her. I'm thankful to see and hear the stories of others who are in somewhat similar situations, as most people stare at me open-mouthed when I say that, responding with "you have to love your mother, she gave birth to you!"
And my question is why? Why do I automatically have to love this woman just because she gave birth to me? I never asked to be born. If I had, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be saddled with her. She makes many, many aspects of my life infinitely more difficult, frustrating, and even unbearable.
I realize it could be oh-so-much-worse, as she's never abused me, physically or otherwise. However, day in and day out, when I'm home with her (I live on campus at school, but live at home during the summer), I find being in contact with her is almost too much to take.
And she notices. She criticizes and ridicules me, claiming I think she's "beneath me" and I have no right to "treat her the way I do". The thing is, I *try*, I try to be better with her. I try to be more polite and civil, and sometimes, I'm successful. However, she makes this almost impossible. Her interactions with me are not pleasant. She often claims I have no drive, no "get-up-and-go" and believes she'll be stuck taking care of me forever. She claims the degree I'm working towards is useless and then continues to question me as to "how" I'll be able to go to Grad school.
The other day I mentioned that I plan to start woking towards moving out, permanently, within the next 2 years. She looked at me in disbelief and referred to it today as "bulls**t". I'm concentrating on finding work for the summer (like everyone else I know), and she constantly claims "you know you're not going to get a job this summer." WHY the pessimism?
She says I have no initiative; that I won't really do anything with my life. Why? Because she never did anything with hers?
She had 2 children: my sister and me. My sister was very, very difficult as a teen, and wound up dropping out of high school, ending up in rehab (twice), bouncing around different places for a while, getting pregnant, to now living with us again.
So, with that, why do I have no initiative? I graduated HS, and am in college, working towards my Bachelor's. I don't think I'm better than anyone, I just do not see her and I as combatible. We cannot get along well.
It's been years since we have, and it's only gotten worse in the last 2.
All I can see when I look at her is a hypochondriac who thrives on self-pity and the pity of others.
I don't know what to do or how I can get by with her.
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Oh,Kid I know how you really feel. My mom is EXTREAMELY annoying she makes me mentally sick and every move I make she stares at me for no reason! she talks to my older brother but never me, she is by far the WORST mom in the freaking world.
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I am in the exact same boat! I cannot believe how perfectly you described your feeling towards your mom. I am 37 and I feel the same way. She makes my skin crawl. She makes me feel sick to my stomach. I cringe if she touches me. She is alone, she has major medical problems and psychological problems and refuses to deal with them. She is the guilt queen and I have just had it. She doesn't do it to my brother or anyone else, just me. She expects me to make up for the fact that she has nobody. It's not my job to be there at her beck and call. And I would be if she didn't expect it like she does. She'll ask me for help and if I cannot help her that day she has an attitude. She would never do that with anyone else. She would only be gratious and thankful. I hate her and resent her. I wish she got remarried after divorcing my dad when I was 6 because at least she'd have someone to help her out. She is on disability, can't work and her whole life is going down hill. It's horrible but I cannot fix her life for her. I hate the way she makes me feel and if she wasn't my mom I'd NEVER speak to her again. But I have to and sometimes I feel trapped. I wish I had a mom I could look up to - that I respected. We had reconciled for about 3 weeks a few months back and then she called one day and laid into me - just yelled at me for some stupid misunderstanding that wasn't my fault. That was it, my trust in her is shattered. But she refuses to talk about it. If I say anything she gets all weak and cries and tells me she is going to hang up because she cannot take it. She says we need to go to therapy but there is no way she will be able to handle that because she will have to deal with mistakes she has made and she is so weak she cannot handle it. I just wish I never had to talk to her ever again. That is a horrible thing to say but she is so caustic and not willing to take responsibility for her behavior.
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@: Techmom
Wow...I feel like your words are my own. Like we had the same Mother/experience. The worst part is the guilt...we're supposed to love our parents, but when your mother causes you so much pain, you can't help but want them out of your life by any means necessary. Have kids makes it even harder because then you have the guilt of keeping them away from Grandma. Grandma is great to the kids, but to you she'll still make you want to kill yourself.
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My Mother just gets on my nerves. Everything she does just annoys the crap out of me. The way she talks, the way she acts. I really wish I didn't hate her though, I want to love my mom but she makes it so difficult, the way she talks to me just pisses me off. I will admit, I can act a little moody, and even I can recognize that, she still, is the one that when ever I am in the same room as her, I just want to burst out into tears. I love her because she is my mother, but I DEFINITELY do not like her. We've had out good times, which are very few, but I'll always love her, although she pisses me off every second of every day.
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hey thank you for your post and shedding light into your life. Honestly I can relate to everything you just said unfortunately my other is just like that and I too have to deal with situations like the one you talked about with your mom and your moms friend. The fucked up part is that my mom will just talk shit about me and my older sister to her friends and her sisters openly without giving a flying fuck. I hate her sometimes and I personally agree with you, she has tormented me my entire life telling me all sorts of shit. My childhood was so fucked up because of her Ive realized that I have been emotionally disconnected from her for the past couple of years since i was 15. I like to think i am a kind gentle person to everyone because I know what it feels like to be emotionally abused by your mother which is the core of my ego (used to be). It is scary since I am only 21 but I know i will be fine as long as i keep up with the positive thoughts and just keep being a good person. But i can not tell you how good your post made me feel and I must say u have gave me more strength. I will be fine I will survive on. thanks once again

god bless
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well im not to sure about this but it sounds to me that maybe you feel held back about somthing or perhaps somthing in your child hood may have affected your feelings toward your mother and one question that ive asked before is how would you feel if she died would you care or would you not hope this helps
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I am sooo glad I found this blog or website or whatever this is. I was reading through some of the other stories/comments and it is amazing how much I have in common with most of you. A loveless mother who was and continues to be neglectful and practices favoritism, doesn't acknowledge when I do things for her, etc etc. I am just so full now that I have to sort my thoughts out. I'll write somethings later in the form of comments to other peoples stories.
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My mom called me a bitch today, after we had an argument, so I can totally relate to this, I hate my mom too, well not so much hate, but if I never saw her again for like 20 years, I wouldn't hate it. I just want her to be away from me. I don't want her to die but I just don't want her near me. I'm 20, and I can't move out because I'm in school full+I don't have a job but. I don't even want a relationship with my mother, I just want move on and send her a card on mother's day and her birthday. The end. But yeah, I'm sure it's normal, a lot of people hate their mothers especially.
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I am 20 too with a similar situation, I just want to move out so bad. I was thinking of switching from full time to part time in terms of school and get a part time job and move out. I wish i could people like this to talk to all the time venting helps alot
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I am 52 and still hate my mother's guts. She spent her life telling me how horrid my father was, was sexually frigid and slept on the couch and to this day she is passive agressive to the point of crazy. She has never once initiated a hug and does nothing but denigrate me. I hate her guts and I am totally fine with that. I will dance a happy dance when the c-nt dies. Being a mother does not make you a saint, it just makes some bitches think they are. I hope it hurts when she dies, and she gets a glimpse of who she really is, the bitch.
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Oh and PS, she did NOTHING when I told her my brother raped me. So I think I have a great case for hatred in the extreme.
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hey im so sorry to hear about what happened to you. i think some women should just no be mothers
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She makes me feel irritated, but she is happy about this situation, so try to behave the same way how she does and u will see the effect! I know bad mothers are also mostly stupid (they lack brain), so maybe this time she will gain some of it.
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Oh my gosh! I'm so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way! I HATE my mother! We've never been particularly close but the lady really put a barrier between us when she started menopause. Now shes unrecognizable to me and I really don't think of her as my maternal figure. Her voice and every move makes me want to rip her head off. She treats the grand kids badly, always yelling at or ignoring them and making them feel belittled. I can't wait till her next heart attack. At least with her in the hospital, the rest of us get a darn break! So yes, I would say it's completely normal to hate your mother!
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I seem to sometimes have this problem. I loved my mum at first, the i gave her loads of respect,and then realised that i got nothing back. This caused me to stop giving her respect and it broke down from there. I still help her out in business, a small family run cafe, but i dont get any respect or rewards for it. She does not even laugh with me any more, she just ignores me and i feel a bit forgotten, and that my sister is favoured over me.
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I think the way you feel is common enough that to call it abnormal seems inappropriate. I also do not think your feelings are wrong. I don't think you should jump to any assumptions that there's something wrong with you. I also don't think it's right for you to think it's unfair or not right. Everything makes sense, even the things we have yet to understand.

I think there must be some problem with her or the way she's parented for you to feel this way. It sounds like you're pressured to suppress your objections. Better parents create an environment where their children can express grievances like these.

The things about getting irritated about her mannerisms, I can relate to it but I'm doubtful it's the root of our problems because something like that would at most be irritating. You mention she's strict and "says what she means". What she means may be wrong though, or do you agree with all her judgments and opinions? Is strictness oppressive?

I hope you won't continue to be so hard on yourself. I'm all for avoiding hating others, but at the same time we shouldn't shift blame to ourselves. Reduction in anger can come from understanding, but we do not have to remove blame to do that. We can simply blame the past incarnations of people who do us wrong, and give them a chance to prove they've changed into someone we can like.
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PART THREE: Plus I'm so annoyed of people who tell me that I look like her. I can't stand her! Everytime someone is telling me : OMG YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER I just want to hit them in the face. I'm ashamed of my mom and her behaviour. I changed. Before , my behaviour was like hers but since I changed I have much more friends and I'm less shy in my classrooms and people find me funny. i don,t have a defensive and cold attitude anymore. I know it's a bad thing to say that but I wanted to share my feelings cause in my head i'm wondering if i'm normal. But with the stories that i've read, i'm happy to see that there is a lot of people who are in the same situation.
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cristina95
@: asm1596
i agree with you everyone tells me i look like her and for the people who tell me that and also know what i go through with her im always like " are you trying to insult me?" its annoying i hate it soo much i know how you feel
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Oh my gosh! This is the best forum ever! because i HATE my mother SO MUCH all i want to do is get the fuck AWAY from her FOREVER! unfortunately im still a minor so it's not yet possible but she's abusive, mean, never admits she's wrong EVER, and she just gets on my last nerve with EVERYTHING that she does. Everytime she's around me i'm tense and annoyed and just not happy and then the minute she leaves to go to work i feel relieved and happy at the same time. I actually get into physical fights with her because of how big of a BITCH she is! she would literally actually pull my hair and I just hate her so much sometimes i can't control it. For example, she was suppose to pick me up from somewhere today but of course she forgets. When I finally come home I'm pissed off and ask her for an apology at least and she refuses me and tells me I SHOULD BE TELLING HER SORRY BECUASE OF "how hard she's working to earn money for me!" WHAT THE FUCK??? is it really that hard to say sorry? she's a crazy bitch with some serious issues because she's the worst person to be around EVER and I HATE HER SO MUCH! i began disliking her when I WAS FOUR.... so that says something....
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[cont'd]
I have extremely vulnerable. I am so vulnerable that I must guard my territory and attack with resentment everyone who encroaches upon my territory. I will put a sign over my head "Caution: Vicious Dog," and anyone who fails to notice it better beware! I will surround my vulnerability with high walls, and will never make a real connection with others from behind such walls.

I am extremely dependent on others. I am so dependent on others that I will never miss a single look from them, a single word, a single gesture. I will watch others relentlessly and I will judge their every move around me. And if I decide that their actions are not what I prefer, I will show them how much they are in the wrong! Because those around me must exalt my dignity, must worship my ego, and God forbid they will ever act otherwise! I will continue to harbor resentment to cover up how much I am dependent on others and their opinion.

I am someone else's slave. I am a slave of other people's words and actions. It is on them as my masters that my mood, my feelings, and my sense of self depend. It is not I, but they who are responsible for my dependency. It is not I, but they who are to blame for what is happening to me. It is not I, but they who must do something to make me feel better. Yes, it's easy for me to be a puppet in the hands of others because I am someone else's slave.

I make a big deal out of little things. I can take a little, half-dead "fly" of someone's error and attack it with all of my resentment. I will not write in my notebook about how wonderful the world is. Rather, I will write about how awfully I have been mistreated. I will pour into a little fly so much of my energy and others' energy that the fly will become magnified into an elephant. Because a fly is easy to ignore or waive off, but an elephant is not. That is why I magnify flies into elephants.

I am extremely poor. I am so poor that I cannot muster up a drop of generosity in order to cover and forgive, a drop of empathy in order to overlook, a drop of wisdom in order to let go, a drop of self-deprecation in order to laugh, a drop of love in order to accept. I simply don't have any such qualities because I am extremely limited and extremely poor.

I am very unhappy. I am so unhappy that words and actions of others are constantly aggravating my unhappiness. Because I am a very important "turkey." But I don't value my life, cannot view myself objectively and I am compelled to magnify flies into elephants. I am extremely vulnerable, dependent on others, and poor in my inner essence. Don't mistreat me, but pity me instead. Because I am extremely unhappy.
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she kissed my today on my back neck saying how beautiful am I.. I freeze when she tries to come near me.. I am trying to be nice with her but I am scared that my eyes shows her that I cant stand her...
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i can understand how u feel, i hate my brother. he is always mean to me, picks on me and even orders me to go to my room. can u believe it? i'm 31 for christs sake!! it is embaressing for me to even write this.
i agree with the moving out solution, this is what i plan to do, cause i can't take it anymore.
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@: maya617
I'm amazed to find this post as I feel exactly the same and don't know how to deal with it.Right now after a big fight with my mom,I came here to check if its normal to hate my own mother and this post was like words from my heart.
Its just the same case where others do not find her to be so horrbile,but I just hate her from the time that I was born.Like someone asked if it would make you cry if she dies;I often think about it and I'm never sure if I would truly be unhappy about it.I think she didn't give me care like other mothers.All my childhood I had problems for which she was never there and I expected her to be there without my saying it.Even now when I see mothers caring for their children,I feel jealous and upset.I don't know how to help this and I cannot stop crying and fighting with her all the time,and in the end I'm always upset about misbehaving with her.I'm 28 and in our culture,we as girls cannot move out till we r married so I cannot even move out.Can anyone help me??
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@: Romaa
I totally agree. My mother is disrespectful to put it politely. I hate her mostly because she insults me infront of my two year old son daily and has not stopped since I pointed it out five months ago. I know I will not cry if she dies. My life will be better. She is a huge trouble maker
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@: Romaa
Roma I signed up to reply to your comment.
Unfortunately, my situation is very similar to yours. Im 25 years old, and i cant move out until im married. Which really really sucks, you would know.

My mother is a pain; seriously. I really dont get what her problem is, she hardly ever compliments me, and always points out who is prettier than me, and always points out any flaws in anything i ever do. yet she wonders why sometimes i have low self esteem. i often feel like she's jealous for some reason or the other. its like she's really trying to break me. What is the matter with out mothers? they r supposed to be nicer than that.

I logged on because my mother just saw a picture of me, my best friend, and this guy im dating. and she said "if anyone would see this picture, they would ask him... why dont you marry this girl? shes gorgeous! and i'm talking about your best friend."
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@: vsbrian
OMG how stories look alike .. thats my mom you're talking about .. hate her
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Ollieo
@: Romaa
At 28 years of age as a woman you can't move out - what culture is that? What would happen if you did? Move to another country then.

Its OK to have these feelings. Accepting that might help. But seriously - I don't see how you will ever separate from & get over your mother being around her constantly.
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@: Ollieo
I totally agree with seperation. My mother and I have rarely spoken in the last 20 years.When i was a teenager, I had no respect for her and I still dont. As a life coach and meditation instructor, I am well aware of acceptence. Now..I registered on this site bc i read a post and someone had mentioned anger is not normal. Umm...what planet are you from? Where do i begin. religion perhaps? I respect those who beleive in organized relgions however to be brought up catholic like myself- but certainly not anymore bc i have my own beleifs-to be taught that we shouldnt feel anger or hate...is flat out controlling. I am starting a non profit organization for teenagers and anger and acceptence and everything in between. I firmly beleive that just bc you feel it doesnt mean it it exsist.We all go through cycles and subconsciously issues come up. Another note:Hormones (especially in teenagers!) cause anxiety, depression, and anger...when its unexplained its most likely hormones. When a child changes into a young adult its worst than menopause!!! get to know your body and get very intuned by listening to what your body is tellng you. It takes a woman over 20 years to figure out there body and hormones. That said..still have anger? (like I do towards my mother)Thats okay. Its how we express it to her that isnt. It is hard too. One thing that is extremely important is to understand where resentment and anger is coming from. First off...no one, not even our mothers owes us anything. We can hate a persoanlity but we cant change it. Too often we wish more from our mothers. She becomes devious and so do we. We nudge..she may push back a little. Visa versa and before you know it years later this is still going on and more anger arises. When i said we want more from our mothers doesnt neccesarily mean love. We all have expectations of what a mother should be. Maybe if you viewed her as just a...coworker or 'friend' instead of someone you hate this might ease the anger. I try..not always does this work. Writting helps too. yelling (at no one but a wall) is good therapy as well and so is excersice to help ease the tension.
I lost my house this year and thankfully my parents let my family move in. I am grateful..however this is def a test. if she walks in one room I walk out..not to be rude but to excape the bad energy. I pray my anger goes away and ..well sometimes her too. (Not in that way, I am making light of out of this. i would never wish anyone harm.)I even thought about sleeping a shelter while instead of there. And they have a big house too...plenty of space, i personaly go through stages where I just cant be within a 100 mile radius of her. I have to laugh at myself to make it easier. I tried talking to her through emails and offered to go to therapy with her for the past 10 years. Nothing..except for her telling me not to send anymore emails.
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@: Romaa
Roma i totally know how u feel, its not that my mom annoys me or anything, but she never found a place in her heart to love me lyk she does my sibling. she's constantly calling me names, belittling me, she never believes me when i say something and stops talking to me without explanations. i spend most my time crying my eyes out, cancelling my plans with friends cuz it dont suit her and putting up with my little sistas shit becuz they know they can. my two aunts are alwayz telling me to stand up for myself but i just can't and i just stand and let her insult me without saying a word.my dad sees only her side of the story, he rarely there when shes a bitch and if anyone does stick up for me it'll only come back to bite me later i domt know how much longer i can take, i wake up everyday not knowing what 'll make her explode
i cant wait to get married becuz it means im free from my motha
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@: Romaa
can we keep in touch somehow?
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Ollieo
You are 21. Why don't you move out?
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jess870
i am a guy who when ever my mom just say one thing i want to go grab my shotgun and blow my foot off. i think my life would be a lot better if she would stop acting like she is a 20 year old and stop acting like she is oprah. yes i love oprah but thats becuase she is her self my mother on the other hand is a poser. i really wish that she would just get the hint i dont want to talk to her and nothing is wrong. but of course god hates me and that will never happen
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i hate my mother to i hate to admit it but everything she does bother me and she just talks and goes on and on and on and im a teenager so yeah
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Oh my god you guys! I m dam glad that I am not the only one. I hate her so much.. but my sister feels pity for her.. sometime i wish i could be like her.. you know? a bit kind to my mom but I can't!!!
I fucking hate her.. so much.. I can't describe it.. I am even ashamed that she is my mother.. She is rude, coward, winy she is a bitch!
She is a person who is living a reactive's life.. who is concern of the things which she can't do nothing about. she always whine at people when she has nothing to do.. I just hate everything about her.. i wish she die!
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I too have a lot of problem with my mom. She doesn't have any friends and she is very hard to get along with. My dad and her didn't get divorce(but basically same as divorce) as he only comes home twice a year. His excuse was he had to do business in another country. But my brother and I all knew he just use that excuse to stay away from her as my mom is super controlling and often yell at pple for no reason.
She is 68 yrs old now and live with me and my brother's family. She doesn't do any housework. I cook for her but she still complains about other pple. I am self employed so basically I am home all the time. Everywhere I go, she wanted to follow me. She also liked to get involved into my business, critised how I ran the business. It drove me crazy sometimes, yet everytime when I exploded, she'd cry and said I'm your mother, I am doing this for you because you are my daughter. If one day I die, no one will say a word to you! All my friends have been telling me she's your mother, just try to hold your temper because one day when she dies, you will miss her and feel guilty of what you did. I completely understand all this. But problem is staying with her is like a nightmare.She thinks she's all good and everyone is wrong. Even with my dad, she never thought about why my dad would leave her, she always blamed other pple first. Sometimes I wish she'd die so I don't need to suffer anymore.but that evil thought scared me and I fell extremely guilty.

What am I suppose to do? I can't send her to senior house. I can't run away and hide. I just know that one day if she dies, I won't miss her too much
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i wondered if i was alone in hating my mother? now i see i'm not alone:
my mother is an italian american women born in the late 1930's. her family is very cruel both physically and emotionally. i have strong suspicions that she was abused.
i was born in 1963. my mother divorced my father soon after i was born. she is verbally and emotionally cruel. she loves to play head games with people and see them twist in the wind. she would torment me night and day with awful comments designed to destroy my self esteem. she loved to hit me when i was a kid but backed off when i grew older, but the verbal/emotional stuff continued for decades. she would always tell me how lucky i was to have her as a mother. she also told me that respect and loyalty was demanded in our big italian family, so i put up with her abuse. she would tell evryone she couldn't wait for me to marry and have kids so she could be the loving grandma. but when i married things went from bad to worse. she would compete with my wife for my attention and would get upset if she felt she didn't get it. she bad mouthed my wife to everyone in town. then she tried to manipulate my children against me. when that failed she called child protective services and reported us as unfit parents. that was the last straw. i have excommunicated her and have threatened police action if she trespasses on our property. now she is playing the innocent victim of unjust persecution. i have thoughts of homocide toward her. i am depressed and lonely. the reason i don't breakdown is because all i want now is to love and take care of my wife and kids.
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@: pdm1963
oh tell me about it.i have gone through so much stress in my life becoz of that single lady .she poisoned my father and brother against me .she created so many rifts in the family that we ,my brother father and me stopped communicating with each other .My father was close to me during his last years becoz both of us realized the tricks of that bloody women .My father is no more i do miss my father a lot i remember those last months that i lived with my father before i left to join my husband she was insulting him in his old age didn’t really care for him. all she cared was her own family in which only her son and her family members mattered to her .she only cared for her sun becoz he was having a in high position in society compared to my father or me .In fact in her own statements she has often told us that she wants position and power and nothing else
so what happend to this bloody women /
my father died i keep distance from her .my brother has his own family to take care off and she is left alone .the only thing that still effects me is the fact that i am not close to my brother now ,our relationship has died in the process we communicate now but i keep distance we were very close from childhood but my mother poisoned him against me and we started having fights and it finally became so worse that we stopped communicating . the worst part is that my mother is such a a manipulative women that he turned him to this arrogant man just like her ,thankfully his wife is there to ground him. she also blames my mother for infusing this rash behaviour.i know what you feel i dont have a single good memory about her and can understand your pain. Ignore and dont care god knows what you have gone through and will help you out.
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@: pdm1963
i really understand your pain .Dont worry about what others will think about you or your wife .after a certain period of time people will stop bothering about this women
Relocating somewhere else is a very good solution as it will give you a chance to start afresh without the visibility and trouble of this women>i have done that personally and it has worked for me .As long as you keep the distance and dont care it will stop bothering you .If your mental conscience is clear nothing else matters.May God bless you and give you strength.
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@: pdm1963
Oh man, where do I start? My mom's Italian too, and she's everysingledisguisting thing All u guys stated about your maniac moms. Ppl trust me, Please, Get theF far away from those horrible excuses for a mom Asap!! Trust me, pls! Im frigin 40 now, & have given my animalistic rude bat the last chance, again&again, to no avail. This is after not listening to professional advice demanding I stay away from her immediately, or be destroyed by her..Well, she's destroyed me, Ive now lost Everything, cuz I felt guilty&stuck by her. My wife, my step daughter, my homes&cars. Everything. History. These selfish scumbags do Not love u, or themselves-Make the hate for her your motivation, to get the fuck away from the bitch immediately,
or like a drug addicted gangster,
u will be dead, insane, or in jail.
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@: pdm1963
You're not alone. Lots of people have stress with that.
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I am 28 and have been struggling with the complex of hating/loving my mother since 14.
My mother is a devoting one and i owed her a lot as she raised 4 of my siblings in great hardship. my siblings and I are now successful people at work but inside me and my eldest sister, who love my mother best, we are wreck.

My mother is a talent in criticizing others. She never forgets the words that displease her. She repeat what someone said years ago, just to prove that she was not appreciated by others, or that others were so bad.
My mother is so controlling. She loves to see everybody to do exacly what she tells and even if what she wants but has not told. She wants to be mind-read.
Like someone's mother here, she loves cleaning the house. Last night when i was taking a milk cup out of the fridge, she asked me if i had spilled out the milk or not so that she could clean the spilled milk. It was as if she expected me to make a mistake.
She never lets me have a chance to correct 'mistakes' if i ever made them.
several years ago when i told her that i wanted to moved out, she had a stormy reaction to the news by banging her head down the floor and said everything to make me feel that i committed the guilt of abandoning my own mother ( though i did promised to keep supporting her financially as usual)
When she is unhappy, no one has the right to be cheerful.
We are now living in a small house so i have no way to avoid her ups and downs
I've tried 2-3 times talking to her over this problems. she seemed to be a very good listener and did not hate me for telling the truth but things get back to normal within 1 weeks.
Being verbally and emotionally abused used to kill my energy. i had unstable mood for many years. I couldn't stay long in a job even if i had very good jobs that i like.
I used to have the idea of suicide but i never had the courage to carry out.
fortunately, i met the love of my life last year and now i can control my feelings. Though sometimes i am still influenced by her but in general i am walking towards the bright side of this life. By not loving her and trying to please her so much, by not feeling guilty when not doing what she wants, i feel a little bit more independent
I'm from Asia and thinking bad of parents is like a crime here :)
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Warning: Very long! I read all the comments here and got so damn mad remembering my childhood and thinking about what I put up with, that I wrote down everything I could remember and it's not pretty....There's 40 years of rage that I am about to unleash.

Another warning: there are some people (here and elsewhere in life) that don't "get" what some other people have had to endure and they want to say that we are whining, or ungrateful, or whatever. Let me tell you, most of the stories/comments you have read so far are probably heavily edited (by the writer, not the website) and you really still have no clue what many people have lived through from their mother or both parents, because the writers didnt want to dredge it all up, or wanted to keep it short and simple, but I guarantee you you are not getting the whole story. So, before anyone else wants to judge or criticise why we hate our mothers, I am going to spell it out for you so that there is no doubt. Some of it is graphic. You have been warned.


I want to tell my story but I don't even know where to start. I hate both my parents but my father died last year so I just have HER to deal with now. Both of them were VERY abusive when I was a child. Mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, any way you can think of, they both enjoyed tormenting us kids (Just to clarify, my mom didn't abuse me sexually). My dad was a sadistic monster and there was never any doubt that I hated him as long as I could remember, but my mom was always good at playing the victim and the martyr and manipulating things so that I didn't even realize just how horrible she was until I was almost an adult. I was so busy running from my dad's beatings and molesting, that my mom's abuse was nothing compared to him. I thought her behavior was NORMAL.

I used to make excuses for her, because I thought she was just as trapped as us kids were and I even felt sorry for her, but I eventually figured out what a fucking selfish, self-absorbed, cold-hearted, critical, impossible to please, demanding, complaining, passive-aggressive, lying, delusional, vicious, arrogant, nasty, snotty, manipulating, fucking BITCH she is!

I even told her one day what my dad was doing and she claimed she never knew and she said she would make it stop. Well, it DIDN'T. And I learned that adults would NOT protect you. And years later when I mentioned it to her (as an adult) she actually denied that she ever knew anything about it and denied I had ever told her!! Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I sometimes strongly suspect that she is Multiple Personality, or I think they call it Dis-associative something or other these days. I know she's fucking delusional, at the very least.

There's more, look for next post.
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Fantastic posts! Well said&hilarious sadly too. Everyone elses as well, really. These women are bad ppl&will truly destroy Your lives, if u continue to let them. I wasnt sure if I felt better after reading for 2 straight nights(3am style), because I nvr frigin feel better. But u guys helped me, &I thank u for that. *Pls keep posting even though it sucks too, because Im sure it somehow helps us all, & nobody else ever gave a fk how We were tormented/abused/manipulated/Lied to...Fk'n A Man, fk'n A- Thanks again-Be safe.
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I hate my mum. I just spent ages writing my story and went to post and was told it was too long and now its gone! Obviously not meant to be. She pisses me off on a daily basis and has done for years. It is now a week before Christmas and all my family, including my 2 eldest children will be going to her house on Christmas day and I am not going to try and stop them cus they will resent me. But i won't go. I cannot spent the day with her. I hate her too much. I have had counselling, originally went into couples therapy and ended up going for 5 years on and off talking about my mother. I then trained as a counsellor myself but cannot rid myself of the hatred which i know is such a waste of energy. I want closure and I want out of her life in every way. She has prevented this many times with manipulation and lies over the years. When my children were small I had an opportunity to move 300 miles away. She said she would stop me by telling social services that i wouldn't be able to manage without her blah blah. I now know that she would not have been able to do this and I would have got support, if anything in getting away but my kids my 2 older children are 16 and 19 and its too late now, they would not come with me, would prob go and live with the bitch!

I suppose in reading all these stories, more comments than to any other question i have found, it is very normal to hate your mum. Anyone can become a mother but many fail to be a mummy and give unconditional love, indeed fail in many areas and seriously damage their children. Sometimes getting out of their lives emotionally and physically is the best way. We can then grow ourselves away from controlling manipulative mothers who's children are treated as possessions in an otherwise unfulfilling life. Their behaviour leaves us full of hatred. I am 47 and i don't want to hate anymore.
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I am just a 19 year old girl..... And i can honestly say i have hated my mother for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a family with 3 children I am the middle child . and the first girl. For some reason since i was aged about 6 my mother has always found a reason to take out her frustrations on me.
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I also suffer from anorexia and bulimia. And have tried to kill myself many times when I was thirteen.
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Today its finally over, nobody here mentiones where their fathers are in all this. mine is always standing in the cornor {a total coward} nodding and agreeing with her. again she has made little of me, called me a liar, a thief, and lots of other things in front of my kids.ive tried so hard to maintain a relationship and cant do it any more. i think she has gone totaly mad. she also thinks i set her up for somthing or another. im done with them both. can take no more. cant decide wheather to ban my kids from seeing them or not. i never wanted this. sometimes i feel like my heart is broken and i wonder what i ever did to her to hate me so much. im lucky to have a supportive husband.told her i want no more to do with her or him. just dont understand.
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I really feel for you and I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand your feelings and I hope you are able to get through this and keep her out of your life.
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Why is everyone just saying to move out like that thought hadn't crossed these peoples minds in these times it's not as easy as that.

I have been having a hard time with bullying at work (let me guess someone's comment to this hmmmm Leave your job then brilliant!! that's advice worth signing in for)

Anyway so after being bullied to the point where I am suffering hair loss I went to the doctor who signed me off work.

I told my mother who knows the state my job has left me in there was no support from her.

If my mum did die I don't know if it would really make a difference I would be sad because that is what people expect but she never notices anything about me or any of her kids.

She doesn't know our likes or dislikes but we know each others and have to remind her.

She only takes interest in her new thug boyfriend as soon as anyone mentions he called all of a sudden we exist again.

When she comes in from work she just sits and watches the tv like a zombie and never listens and only speaking to us to demand this and that.

I had got a facial piercing and I was home for 2 weeks and my mum didn't even notice it was only till I said 'mum do you like my new piercing' to which she replied 'eeewwww'

She used to beat me when I was younger hitting me in the face and making me have a lot of anger that has never gone away.

A lot of times she picks at me so much that I burst into tears because there is nothing else I can do I cant hit her or the people at work or I would lose my job I think it hurts worse knowing I could hurt someone but having to keep control.
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I really despise my mom. But I so badly try to love and like her, however my feelings get hurt every time and I never learn.

She is bipolar/schizo-affective. I am 29. I walked in on her raping my little sister when I was 11. She had more episodes in the years to follow.

She is a very important big math professor and she would looove to tell you all about it. If you know what I mean.

I just am scared that I am becoming her. I don't want to be boastful and arrogant like her.

Tonight she hurt me by saying I should let my ex (the man who assaulted me and I am going to court over in three weeks) take care of my cats when I move to Korea. Wow. Then she looked at me and saw how hurt I looked and said "oh fine, why am I doing this. Ill take care of the cats". Thing is she doesnt believe me when I say I'm staying in Korea for good. She ALWAYS says she knows everything I am going to do before I do it.

She fell over tonight as well from being so drunk. And she also flipped off her boyfriend, who she is leaving since he won't marry her. Then she tells me how angry she is because he's not giving her all this money. I think it's all just shocking and digusting.

I'm a teacher like her. But I refuse to be like her in any way. I hope I am not. And I hope I can toughen up one day and not let her tear me apart anymore. I just have to tell myself that she is a loser and she does NOT know me and she is WRONG. Awful bitch.
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I also want to add that I told her tonight how I started smoking today. All she said was "Oh I didn't know that". Shouldn't a mother care a little?

It's no wonder I befriend older women and they in time become like a mother to me. I am looking a loving mother that I cannot find. Maybe I should try to accept her the way she is. And expect that she will hurt me and not do a thing for me. That way I can spare the pain.

She also told me to grow up. Since I don't agree with her on men paying for things. I think she is wrong. I always pay my own way and always will.
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Wow I realy sympathise with all the posts on here. I'm 20 years old and am SO glad that I've stopped being naïve about the fact that my mother is very far from perfect. Its almost scary to think that there are over 40 years olds still haunted by their mothers influence. Hate is a very strong word but sometimes that is what I feel towards my mother. She has the most difficult personality by far of any person I have ever known. She used to drink a lot when I was younger which always upset and scare me and I would hate it because she would just transform into this repulsive woman that I was just embarrased of. Only in the last couple of years have I realised how controling she was of me. She has this mentality of being extremely negative about everything and suspecting everyone of everything. She brought me up this way and I find it a miracle that I have nevertheless managed to gain positive social skills. Whenever I had issues that I would try to talk to her about she would always just make it seem that I am stupid and weak as if what I am saying doesn't matter.Lately all she does is repeat herself over and over about how important it is that my univeristy and exams go well even though I tell her that everything is fine she just keeps ranting on and on. Its impossible to have a coversation without her criticising me in one way or another. Arguing my point of view is always impossible she just changes the logical thread of the argument every sentence... Either just to piss me off or because she's an idiot.I have stopped confronting her about her flaws that bother me because she just starts getting super aggressive and denies fucking everything... I mean literally every sentence she says begins with the word "no". This just makes me feel as if everything I have said to her doesn't mean shit.I tell her about how I'm just trying to talk to her but she just denies everything again and gets even more annoyingly aggresive. I could go on and on about all the negativity and bullshit that she has caused in my life. Of course she IS my mother and she has done good things too ... But I hate this as well because she just makes this out as if she has done me a great big FAVOUR . The way I see it is I'm her son and if she feels like she's done me a favour she should never have done anything at all. I could go on and on but this has gotten some things of my chest. The reality is I have realised that parents are people too. I pretty much grew up with a single mother which made her negative influence on my personality even stronger but as long as you keep your head about yourself and know what kind of person you want to be there is no need to feel hatred. I just know that I will probobly keep her distant from my life and especially my emotions in future. This sounds cold and it makes me sad as I write but I guess all we can do in life is play the cards we were dealt the best way we can.
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I'm worse than all of you cos my mother wasnt even abusive-the opposite, mindlessly loving and supportive. But I despise her. Have done ever since puberty when my stepdad left and it was just me and her. I grew to hate everything about her-voice, personality mannerisms everything. Her company basically made me physically sick. At 1st I felt guilty then all I felt was anger and hatred at being stuck with her. My sister and her are best friends and my sis knows I hate her so we're not close. But I have a right to feel this way. My mother was a useless ditzy hippy who wanted to raise me to be like her. I grew up in the middle of nowhere with no childrens my age no tv nothing. She acts like this great parent when she was a useless b who looked out for herself. She couldnt have raised me worse if she tried. Shes a social outcast freak who embarrasses me whenever shes in public. Shes a middle aged/old woman who acts like a weird 8 yr old girl. I hated growing up to her pathetic sickening weak influence. My father left me when I was a few months old so I had nothing else. I dont hate her as much since I moved out at 19, im 24 now, but then for my sis bday I had go out with her. The sight of her dancing in her crappy way with all these woman half her age, alone, getting drunk making a fool herself made all my hatred flood back. This useless weird airy fairy old whore was my mother. I hope I never have to move in with her again or have anything to do with her. I know I sound like scum but if your were a man and you were stuck with this kind of woman as your only influence and no dad or brother any other family youd grow to hate her too. I'll cry when shes dead.
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Its sure that she raised me and i know she loves me and im conscient of this. We had great moments and she is nice but most of time it turns to shit . when you live with someone who is always arguing and you re like walking on eggshells and you have to think every word you re gonna say because you never know when she will be mad , and when she is angry it takes a lot of time to fix , would you find it pleasant ? I guess the answer is no. Its been two days since I didnt leave my bedroom because she is mad at me. I only have my computer to distract myself . I hope that her anger will dissapear soon cause i dont wanna be locked in this room all summer long...
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Part 1
I don't hate my mother, I just would prefer another mother if I could choose. As a family from Asia, my mum would use corporal punishment to do anything. She used to hit my brothers and also me when we do something wrong. Mind you, it was never very bad things we did. After we all became teenagers, she stopped hitting my two older brother and younger one. However, she still would hit me, most probably because I'm the only girl in the family and she thinks I won't fight back. I don't, I just stay there and let her hit and push me. )= She would always talk badly about me behind my back to EVERYONE. I introduced my friend's mum to her so that she could have more friend. After a few days of talking to her mum, they became 'very good friends'. Every time she fights with me she will go to that person's mum and dob on me like a little girl and of course she would never say anything she did. Countless times, she would bring up my friend's name and try to tell me how she is so much better blah blah. I wish she would just get it over with and tell me she wants her as a daughter. My friend doesn't even get very good marks, she can't cook, she rarely helps out with the housework and the only reason she is portrayed as such a good person is because HER mum LOVES her and always say the best things about her to my mum. sighh... Just today, I woke up all happy and was making my breakfast, she came and tried to talk to me and in the process called me ugly, (I have low self esteem, probably from her constant insults). Of course I wouldn't be happy about it but she kept saying that its my problem and I'm always moody in the morning blah blah. I explained to her that if I called her 'scarface' (she has scars from when she had acne) she wouldn't feel too good either. Then she started screaming at me saying I'm a dirty child and that I ruined her morning.
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I am so sad that there are other people in this world that have had the same experiences as me with their mothers. I am just 18 years old, about to go off to college and I absolutely cannot stand my mother. I've felt this way for the past three years. She's always been pompous and arrogant and thinks she's absolutely perfect. She fights with my dad all the time, and tells him me and my two sisters would be better off with him dead then with him there. She always tells us that he is a horrible father, and that makes me almost cry because I know he tries super hard to be as good a father as he can. His job pretty mug sucks but he lives with it and is generally a good man, but my mom just hates him. I am sort of lazy and since we're on holiday in another state, I think I should be allowed to relax. But she constantly calls me fat and useless and it makes me feel like crap inside. One night I even worked up the courage and told her that she's always making fun of me and ridicules me all the time, she just laughed and said that's all I deserve. I just want to leave home as soon as I can. I even feel bad for my sisters as they are little and dont know how to deal with her constant anger and the way she mocks them all the time. I don't know why she can't be like a normal mother who would listen to our problems instead of make fun of us.
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My parents split up when I was 3. In fact the only solid memories I have of my childhood are them fighting. Sadly, my mom gained custody of me, so I've had to deal with her taking all of her anger and stress out on me. My entire childhood was spent being ignored, yelled at for no apparent reason, sometimes beaten, and wondering when I get to visit dad for a few days.

This has gone on all my life, and she thinks she can just fix it all. Lately, she's been trying to act all nice and shit, but growing up like that really hurts one's psyche.

Anyway, I've always hated being in the same room as her, talking to her, or even listening to her voice. And it got even worse when my sister was born. God, ever since the day she was born, she was yelled at for the tiniest things. Like crying at night, which is something babies do, for Christ's sakes. I don't know, I really want to fix things with her, but I just can't. Just being around her hurts me.
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I'm so glad I'm not alone. I absolutely HATE my mother. I'm not even sure if her brothers and sisters even like her. I've dealt with her verbal, mental and physical abuse for too long and now I can't stand to be around her. I feel like I can't do anything with my life anymore without her in the way. I think that my brother, dad and myself would be so much happier if she wasn't around. It's peaceful in the house when she's not there and when she's home I feel like I'm going to hurt someone or myself. She never told me once that she loved me and she wasn't involved in my high school life. I never saw her at any of my band concerts or marching band competitions, even when she said that she'll be there. Things like that gave me some type of hope that my mom actually cared about me, but every time she comes up with an excuse. Every time I come home from anything band related, I see her in her room eating and watching tv saying that she "didn't feel like going." I don't want to have kids when I'm older because I don't want to treat my kids the way I was treated by my mother. I don't want my kids to hate me.
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I was raised under a christian household. When I was eight years of age I placed a hex over my mother, the next day she had an automobile accident. I've hated my mother since the day I crawled out of her wretched womb. My mother is a narcissistic bitch to say the least. She is a phony hypocritical backstabbing whore. She has told me on numerous occasions how much she hates me and wished she had an abortion. Then there are times when she'll "pretend" to be my mother, I care about my mother, but I fucking hate her guts.
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my mother is a cow. wone minute she is nice and then she turns like a rabid dog. She was nice till I got to about 13 and she got a rich boyfriend and used to travel with him all the time andleave me with friends and neigbours or my gran.I was alwys tall slim and beautiful and she wanted me to model but I hated it.She loves male attention, I dont, she used to flirt with my husband and boyfriends, one told me he slept with her when i was only about 15, after what my ex husband and boyfrind told me I bleive it. She is full of complexes and puts them on me and my sister. She loves money and is obsessed with looks and who earns what. She is always trying to pry into me and I find her invasive and ugly. She was always beautiful but has a huge backside which she really should have lipo'd off and then we could have peace. She talks of nothing else but money, looks and weight and is always on a diet but never looses it. she is now putting her coplexes on my daughter. When I reach boiling point and react she gets really nast and vile. I cannot wait to be finally free of her. I am a christian by the way,i am 56 years old and she is the only person in the universe that makes me vomit. I cannot stand to be in the same room. Reading all these blogs makes me feel better. I am praying that God will help me deal with it. Most of these women are posessed if you ask me. she gets really evil and black and becomes like a hissing snake. my sister cannot be near her for a inute. She puts everyone down who is more attractive, cleverer, richer etc etc in front of them, she does it to my stepfather it is unbelievable, i dont know what he sees in her. She said she only married him for money, and by does she spend it. Unfortunately she supports me and because my duaghter came home with a baby and i care for him, there is no work around here.
I pray for all of you that we will all be healed from toxic mothers. I am an artist, she alway put me down and chucked my work away.... now because others say I am really talented, so does she. My life has been really messed up because of her.
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We have same tragedy, my mother always got jealous on me. I am also an actress, and I to trusted on her, and I took her to the shotting location but at the location she's always talking behind my back and telling the bad things or made up stories, she always trying to made my career down, she's never love me but she wanted my money. and she happy when something bad happened to me, but she's will unhappy when I am successful, now I am 30 years old and my mother 51 years old. I decide to stop make her part of my life, I really irritated with her attitude, she's also like to flirting with a guy a love or ruined my relationships with all guys I love.
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I hate my mother too.
She gets upset over little things, She makes me do all of her stuff, she insults me all the time, She takes money from me and my father. She owes him thousands of dollars.
My mother always asks me my opinion on things and let me just tell you we have NOTHING in common. So when I give her my honest opinion on things she acts like i'm a complete idiot. Of course I defend my opinion but she refuses to listen to anyone else's opinion.
She's a narrow minded bitch!
Recently we got in a debate over gay marriage and she told me she didn't believe in it because the bible says it's wrong(She's a Christian btw). She refused to listen to me despite the fact that SHE ASKED ME on my opinion of it. Then she said something that just crossed that line. She told me that I know nothing and told me that my beliefs are wrong. She was telling me that she was right and I was wrong.
We fight everyday really and she hits me a lot.
I really can't believe we're related. We are nothing alike.
Also she hates my best friend for no reason and blames her for my "bad attitude".

A lot of my friends think it's stupid that I would say that I hate my mom but I really do.
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You are allowed to hate your mum or anyone who disrespects you whatever your friends think!
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Hello,

I've been feeling physically sick around my parents ever since I was a child. Even now, if I hear about them or dream of them, I puke. I can't control it. I used to wonder why, feel crazy and want to die; yet, I defended them and used to say that they were not that bad and that others had much worse lives. Well, at least that's what they had brainwashed me into thinking. I had therapy for many years and figured out that they had been psychologically abusing me since I was a child. I think my body was reacting to what my mind was too numbed or in denial to react too. It is hard to admit that your own parents are abusing, rejecting or neglecting you and every time people ask me about my parents, I still start feeling sick even though I know why now. I think emotions have a very powerful effect on the body. My parents lied to me, hurt me and scared me on a daily basis for years and they don't feel any regret about it today, so it is just hard to ''swallow'' I guess. So I think we're all normal and my advice is to find out the deep reasons why you feel this way because even if it doesn't change the way you feel, at least you know you're not a crazy person who hates their parents because she was born mean and crazy. The blame is on them, not you.
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Sometimes I feel bad for hating my mother but that happens rarely. She had never said I love you to me or my brother. All she does is complain about how I am an ungrateful brat and that I am not normal because I'm not like other people. I didn't go out a lot when I was in high school. I liked to read a lot, also I pretty much sucked in math. When I was 16 she would always barge into my room for no reason because she thought I was doing something suspicious, I'm a girl so what could I have been doing that was so specious? Then I started to lock my room and she would yell at me because I locked the door. I told her that I needed some privacy so her response was "When you get your own house then you could lock the door" For some reason she never notices the positive things about me but ALWAYS highlights on the negative ones.
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My mother is the worse mother ever in the worlds. She's just using me for money, and she never raised me up, she's never called me and asking me what are you doing, and when I stop by at her house she's locked the door and won't opened for me and she's asked her ex bf to rapped me and it does but I have been saved from rapped. Now I really won't involved with her anymore, I really wanted to hates her but my Lord Jesus teach me do not hates but love your enemies, but if talking about my flesh I really hates her and wish her for bad but this is because I to tired of her behavior. Now I'll never wanted to know her anymore until i die or she die I will never seeing her at all, to hurt with what she does on me.
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hi im 16 i know most teenagers say they hate their mothers but i hate her, she is emotionally abusing we are always struggling for money because she is buying packs of cigarettes which is like 4 packets a week and buying her 6 dollar per drink energy drinks which she buys like 6 a day not to mention all the fatty expensive food she buys for herself which in turn leaves nothing for me and my little brother. she calls me useless and good for nothing, she says i act to good at school and she says u think ur all that because i get good grades .... aren't parents supposed to be happy when kids get good grades. iv'e got tanned mocha skin from my black islander dad and she is white but she is always racist to me and acting like my brother is perfect because he has blue eyes blond hair and pale white skin from his dad but she looks at me like im scum. and to top it off she is a religious small minded homophobic and i'm gay so well life cannot get any worse
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Nice i found this forum. I hate my mother too. I am 27 and mother is 44. I live with her. She used to be nice and for an year she has changed. she wears very short loose skirt, sometimes 12incheas above from her knee level and that shows her string undies. She is aragont and says she got freedom if i say anything. No idea what made her this chanegs and she feels like everyone likes her but hate me
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I'm not sure if my story is as severe as some of these but I too hate my mother.For as long as I can remember shes always made my life a living hell.She always puts me down about my short comings,blames anything that goes wrong in her life on me,says terrible things about me behind my back and calls me all types of nanes.When she is miserable she targets me over my younger brother and picks with me throughout the day.She always claims she will help me with things that I can't do on my own then when I come to her she refuses.When I'm sad about something completely unrelated to her,sitting in my room crying it out,she bursts in and yells at me.Once when she kicked me out after I blew up from her really mentally abusing me w/o barely any breaks in between she kicked me out.Even during my stay away from home every so often she would call or text me mean things or try to start arguments.My brother has behaviorial disability and blacked my eye one summer.She actually punished him,that was the nicest thing shes ever done for me.I have never heard the words im proud of you or anything along those lines from her.She has never shown me support in anything I've done or wanted to do.She makes up stories about me or completely changes around stories to make herself look better and me worst.She does things like gets her & my brither food before coming home and doesn't get or offer me any least 3-4days a week.Knowing theres nothing in the house and I'm not able to get my own.She bitches and complains all day about irrelevant stuff.No matter what I do or anyone does she is never pleased.I can go in and on.To my friends and other people I'm an amazing sweet funloving person but she brings this whole crime channel lifetime movie side out of me & I hate it!Most of the time I'm hoping in some part of the universe if i keep hoping & wishing magically she'll dissapear out of thin air and I'll get a new "better" mother.
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My mother is the worse mother ever in the worlds. She's just using me for money, and she never raised me up, she's never called me and asking me what are you doing, and when I stop by at her house she's locked the door and won't opened for me and she's asked her ex bf to rapped me and it does but I have been saved from rapped. Now I really won't involved with her anymore, I really wanted to hates her but my Lord Jesus teach me do not hates but love your enemies, but if talking about my flesh I really hates her and wish her for bad but this is because I to tired of her behavior. Now I'll never wanted to know her anymore until i die or she die I will never seeing her at all, to hurt with what she does on me.
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im a 26 year old woman i live with my parents only be cuzz i have no whare to go cuz i i had somewhare to go man i'd get the hell out of here...im glade i found this cuz i dont like my mother i dont want to say hate but i kinda do...i feel bad for saying it....shes not a mother she dont do what moms are meant to do she tells me im worthless and im useless i just got over a virus you think she cared if i was sick or not she only cares for her self i hate how she talks walks eats drinks the way she smokes they she laughs like the woman dont know how to laugh be cuz her face is always mad 99% of the time....my father is pussy whiped if she says jump he ask how high master....i also hate my father to hes greety money hungry selfish he will take and take and take frm you but if you ask him for something there will be a RIOT! my mother has not ONE FRIEND cuz no one likes her...her own brothers and sisters cantstand her she dont know how to talk shes her face is always whineing she never shuts up shes never happy what people do for her i feel bad cuz i hate her so much it makes me sad how much i hate the woman her own grand children hate her i dont only hate my mother i hate my father to...and its bad i dont want to hate them anymore but they do this to me
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Mother

I hate you today
Nothing left to say
You’ve never been there
Always showing you didn’t care

I hate you today
I hated you yesterday
I’ll hate you tomorrow
You never cared for my sorrow

You always said it was for the best
Then why is this hole in my chest?
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And ever since i wAs little, up untill this day she loved public embarressment to make me suffer. If she was annoyed coz i used to argue all the time how i couldmt afford giving her money to splurge on she would wait untill we were infromt of a lot of people, and cause a scene by yellin and calling me the c word so everyone could see what a "waste of space b$&h i was" her words. I used to cry and sh would get more cruel. Shes a role model isnt she. I will never forgove her for all of this.
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glad i can get this off my chest. i fucking hate my mum. I'm 19 and i've been at uni for a year and I'm back home for summer. All my mum does is complain about everything I do and whine about the smallest things. She's constantly trying to undermine my achievements and she thinks I'm a failure in life because I'm not an uptight loser like the rest of her children. I fucking hate the bitch. I guess the only positive is that she'll die soon and I won't have to feel grief because she has severed emotional ties
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Omg I'm so glad I found this. I have been this way for years. I'm 20 now but still living at home and I can't stand to see her stupid fucking face. She bothers me by breathing talking coughing yawning blinking moving walking. She says I'm mean and hurtful but I juay can't help how much I hate her. She is the loudest person on the planet. Always talks over people. Thinks she's queen B AND THAT SHE RUNS SHIT but all she really runs Ia her big damn mouth. I hate when she talks about God, only because she is the biggest hypocrite fake Christian I ever met. She's fucking nuts. She needs medication. She has no friends. My step dads family all Hayes her, so its not just me. My boyfriend also can't stand the sight of her BC he knows what a stupid bitch she is. I just want to know how to make this feeling go away BC I'm tired of living this way. I'm enraged by her sight everyday. I do not want to speak to her. I'm so angry and fed uup with her stupid shit I'm thinking about cutting my phone off and moving and never speaking to her again. I just literally want to tell her how much ihate her and I wish shed shut her big horse hole face and stop acting like a cunt every dau. She does not run shit! She says I have no right to express my opinions BC she's the adult, bitch I'm 20 wtf I'm more of an adult than she is on a daily basis. She's 40 has no education, no job no career, sponges off my step dad, lounges around on her fat lazy ass all day everyday and her idea of a productive busy day is cleaning her house. Refuses any kins of employment even though they are financially strapped. I could go on and on about this stupid bitch. Can someone please just tell me how to deal with her BC I'm out of ideas I just wanna ship her to Africa and never see her again
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I don't hate my mom... although, sometimes I feel like she hates me. I really try to be positive and think about the present, but my mom reminds me about things other people have done to me. When I am sad about anything I try to talk to her about it and she tells me to find the answer in the Bible or by prayer. I don't even believe in God anymore and the many stories in that book. I think my mom suffers from depression and she's overweight, so she has self image issues. The only thing about all of that is that she takes it out on my dad and me. She verbally attacks us about everything. She yells if things are not done perfectly around the house. She corrects everything I do. She even tries to edit what I am saying to people when I am on the phone or talking to someone else in person. When I'm in my room, she'll knock on my wall or scream my name from the living room so that I can get something from her room for her... and then, a few minutes to hours later she'll call me lazy for not doing something she would have around the house. I dust the furniture, vacuum the floors, clean the kitchen, and the bathrooms. My mom is a perfectionist and thinks that I should (when I don't have hw) should be doing chores around the clock. I like to relax, watch movies, talk to friends, enjoy my youth... in other words, have a life. I still do the chores and keep my room clean... she makes me feel so controlled. When I do make a decision she tells me it was wrong and makes me doubt myself. Just because she is miserable it does not mean that I have to be that way too. When I try to talk to her about the things that she does she tells me that I'm to old for arguing with her. She also will tell my dad to talk to me about things that gets on her nerves. As I said before, I don't hate my mom. I just get so frustrated with my mom. With all the complaining,reminding me of my imperfections and what others have done to me, and yelling at me all day/ every day I feel that she hates me. I have one more year and then I'll be going to a University (college). I really hope things change then.
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It's taken me forever to admit this, but I can kind of hate mine too. I hate the way that I literally and figuratively have to pay for her mistakes, I hate that she smoked up my college funds and I'm saddled with these loans, I hate her stupid fucking addiction. I hate that my father constantly babies her and lets her have the little bit of money that he manages to hold on to after all the bills are just barely paid. I hate how she whines and baby talks like she's four and likes to pretend that she's young and that she understands me, only to run off and talk shit. I hate that she doesn't respect boundaries, that she's so controlling and that she whines about her shitty childhood all the time; because of her, mine wasn't too fun, but I don't dwell on it. I hate how she alienates herself and the rest of us from the family because they don't wanna deal with her and she doesn't know how to grow up. I hate it that she pops pills and brings these loser druggies over to our house and lets them use her and lets one call her mom when she's MY mom. I hate that she eavesdropped on almost every conversation I had with my first love and all but drove us apart, even though the relationship was unhealthy anyway, but she should have backed off. I hate how she always wants something from me and feels the need to know everything about my life. I could write a novel on this. GOD, THAT FELT GOOD!!
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My mother is cold, distant, dismissive, unemotional, unloving, and unapproachable. As a result of her emotional neglect, I showed mental problems as early as 4-years-old with resistant behaviour. Resistant to bathing, cleaning teeth, getting dressed, getting to school and other places on time, and even eating food. This was NOT normal! Incapable to see the damage she was causing, the bitch simply assumed that I must have been a ‘lazy girl’. Oh sure, these problems are those of a child who are merely lazy. My emotional development was poor. I’m not able to remember a time when I wasn’t withdrawn and timid. I think this started around 4 as well. Again through childhood she assumed that it was just me being a ‘shy type’ when in fact, I was developing social anxiety disorder. This is more serious than merely being shy. I was disengaged at school. Unfortunately the desire to learn wasn’t even there, and whether I realised or not, it was always my intention to have so few friends at a time. My frontal cortex has suffered impairment of some sort from as young as 4.

My mother is such a cleaning whore! She’s fucking OBSESSED with the kitchen. She has carpets everywhere and strips the place and cleans the kitchen floor three times, every day, without fail. She bought this mini oven so she wouldn’t have to clean the big oven, but still obsessively cleans the mini oven literally every time it’s used, and gets angry when the big oven is ever used. What the fucking hell??? She is also OBSESSED with checking on her car every night, which she barely drives and is always parked in the garage. My mother LOVES to play the victim. She insists to abide by her cleaning regime while also complaining moaning, and even screaming about all the ‘work she’s got to do’. Any amount of mess is too much because she wants the house spotless 24-7. Do you see the TRAP here?

In addition to the OCD, she also has a High Conflict Personality Disorder. My mother is preoccupied with Blame. It dominates her thinking all the time. She will never let things rest. She overacts to everything causing tension and conflict wherever she goes! A problem always has to be the fault of someone or something, but never herself! You have to worry about what she’ll do wrong because you’ll ultimately get the blame for it. What a fucking BITCH. My mother is loud, obnoxious and in your face. She has this terrible chronic cough, which sounds more like gagging and joking. I HATE it. There is no escape from her voice, her repulsive noises - bellows, screams, and coughs - because it booms through the house in every room.

My mother deserves my hatred.
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I despise my mother. I did not have a horrible childhood, I was taken care of quite well, had all the basics and then some however; my mother is a total ASS. I am 40 and it took me about 25 years to be OK with hating my mother. It seems like the wrong emotion but it IS how I feel and I am done trying to make it any different. There are many reasons why I have a disdain for my mother, some small some bigger but, all in all she was just an ASS. I am OK with hating an ASS. I am cordial when we are together and keep things light so I don't want to smack her across the face but, I keep my visits to 1x a year and phone calls to holidays and e-mails to a few lines and very minimal. This works for me. Do not care if it works for her, it keeps me sane and happy. YES it is OK to hate your mother, I think more people have this feeling then let on. I began a much happier existence when I let my feeling of hatred for her be OK. It is how I feel and have felt for a very long time, it may change some day but, if it does not I AM OK with that as well.
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Oh god. I can't take it any more. I'm trapped with my mother. She's rich and I came home to live with her to give myself a break.I have no money. She is so old and so disgusting. She had a stroke and now's she's back in the apartment. My horrible sister, who's also rich, is making me stay with her. My mother can't pull her pants up and is in a wheel chair. I can take how she exposes herself. So awful. So horrible I don't deserve this.
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i think from reading this she did something recently that really set you over the edge..you are at the age where you need to move out..it wasn't until i moved out that i recently began to appreciate my parents for putting up with me and all the crap i did when i was younger...but they also had their flaws i had to deal with as well
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Ollieo
PSA - EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE: BE CAREFUL OF "BUDTHEWISE" - HE IS A FIRST CLASS CREEP, WOMAN ABUSER, RACIST AND IGNORAMUS ... AND PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY OF HIS CRAPPY AND ABUSIVE ADVICE. PLEASE!!!
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Okay, its totally normal! tons of my freinds hate their parents to the point that they are insane. . . creepy, but true. kida wrong . . . but normal. Maybe you and your mom are just going trough a hard time. Thats what happened to me once it lasted a year or two, but its okay now. I'm sure it'll work itself out.
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How about my mother should've never gave birth to me or should I even call her my mother?? This is the perfect thing I done found so far. I am very proudly to say I truly from deep down in my heart hate me mother. With no regrets and I'm proud to freaking say this! My mom is the one that gets me down! i thought that parents are supposed to be there for you well pretty much the mother. When I say I hate her I hate her! She is the one who changes my attitude during the day. I love smiling and being nice because that's just me but we she ticks me off I'm a different person. She says stuff like "your stupid & I can't wait until you leave" be me there is more and I will be happy when I leave too. I think being on my own is the perfect way for me. I mean I tried to get saved once , It didn't last a day well maybe a few hours. I just have a remark to everything! It's hard to sit and listen to the things she say because I'm a sensitive person and I will cry to myself when I say I hate her. I'm little and she always talk about me weight. It's so hard for me to deal with this. I hate meeting new people and going to the mall because I feel like people be pointing and talking about how skinny I am. But I wish to kill her one day I have it in me to do it! I just will make me so very happy! I HATE HER I'M JUST FED UP!!!!!! OMG i hate the B$#@&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I am relieved that I am not the only person who hates their mother. I'm not sure I hate her but I really can't stand her. She was a single mom, well four times married, so I know work came first to support us and that she did well. Mothering and time were not easy for her to give. The day I graduated from high school I moved out but not by choice but because of her lifestyle, boozing and men. Since I was on my own I only made through a semester and half of college before I had to quit because I had no money. She nor my dad tried to help. Our relationships slowly disintegrated until we just didn't have anything to do with one another. When I got into my late 30's, we started talking again and she asked me to come work with her. She was so busy and successful and needed someone to be her partner. It sounded way better then what I was doing and she painted a grand picture of how it would be. I knew other mother/daughter teams that were successful and so I jumped in. I've been drowning ever since while she is still a huge success. She never did partner with me or take me under her wing. I've had to scrape and claw to survive in this business. I am now becoming successful but with no help from her. I think it would be good if I just stayed away from her. Life would be much less dramatic. I hope that my daughter does not grow up to feel this way about me. That would just suck.
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Can we change that?
shall I go to a doc. ?
I dont feel myself normal...
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I hate mine she left me when I was 16yrs old with my grandmother to some us male to get citizenship. I told how my grandma box me in ma face and swell my eye and she called my grandma and ma grandma made up stories about how i cuss bad word at her and then my mother said i deserved it o and ma gma throw ajax's at me . What if was a knife was the closest thing she could find to throw at me would my mother say I still deserve it, I cant believe my mother took my grandmother's word over mine and when was here she used to always ask my gma y she trouble me so much. I HATE MY MOTHER FOR LEAVING ME AND NOT BELIEVING ME.
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hello everyone..........hey I love you all....
We all are kinda the same in here. I hate my mum . I have told her. but not so serious friends. its of course normal and god is never gonna ask why...
ITS JUST LIFE , I know its a little hard but be the man of your life.leave it all. I've not cried for it , it cant make me cry. I had a rough childhood , I suffered , fought, being lonely , avoiding gatherings , ...... and all. but one time when it was more than enough , I FELT LIKE hell its enough , shut it up ,life. a new turn in my life. a big change that I myself brought it , I didnt care of her anymore , if she was/is around. its even okay , from my childhood , I 've learned to not to expect love, I didnt.[ specially from your mother][ thank god every thing is ok now]. IT was agony earlier but not now. I am 19 and I am soon going away for my studies and Its like wow. she asked me if I ever call her when I am gone and I told her that IN HER DREAMS..
I hate her , but this hatred doesnt disturb me.
she is ok , I am ok . its all okay.
all I wanna say that ....
friends , DEARS , dont care of it. do not do things that make you feel like failure when you are middle aged.
LOVE YOURSELF , RESPECT YOURSELF.
even the stupidest, worst mother , there deep inside love their children.
have some sympathy on them and leave them away.
you HATE your mother cause you kinda loved her, thats true.
things I know that:
most mothers are so ignorant
they are older than us [not in age ,their thoughts and ideas]. they belong to the 20th century. but you are new, with new thoughts.

uh..
just forget them

I LOVE YOU ALL...
hope I could know you all personally.

HAVE FUN...
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I most definitely have "mommie issues" it's such a horrible internal conflict because I can't just abandon her the way she emotionally abandoned all of her children...I actually do feel sorry for her because my father had cancer and died and she had to work to keep the medical insurance and she's such a survivor so I do admire her but at the same time I feel she's so borderline for example, she self harms on an emotional level...never seeks therapy, doesn't really medicate and she's a workaholic...she's ALWAYS neglected her children leaving us to fend for ourselves or with a hired house help when we were younger...she didn't even give me my first bath when I was an infant! She got a tummy tuck and liposuction when she had her twin boys and overtly favored them b/c they were boys throughout our childhood...she was jealous of the close relationship my youngest sister had with my father...i've my other younger sister is codependent with my mom and I am the oldest sister and I just stay far away because like many of the posters here I get physically sick when I am around her...like my stomach aches, I get this surge of uncontrollable overwhelming emotions and general malaise...just her voice over the phone hurts my ears...how can I feel this way to toward the woman that bore where I incubated in her womb for 9 months making my existence even possible? I felt negative feelings toward my father too growing up and when he was diagnosed with cancer I didn't shed a tear until 3 years AFTER he was undergoing treatment and only 6 months BEFORE he passed did I make peace with him...i am a scorpio so i dont know if that has anything to do with my strong emotional feelings. But either way I feel at times like an orphan because I don't have parents really
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I hate my mam too. She comes from a family of in-breeds & has always put them b4 me! We have never got on because every argument or dissagreement I have with her family she takes their side & turns on me. Her sister actually stole money from me & my mam just shrugged her shoulders!! It used to upset me that my own mother put others 1st but iv resigned myself to the fact now that in her eyes I am 2nd best so don't bother with her anymore. I have cut her & 'The Addams Family' completely out of my life & wish them all a slow & very painfull end!!!
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This kinda reminds me of me. My mother raised 3 of us brothers without my father around. We lost our father many years ago to some ailment.

She brought us up without no friend or relative of her helping her. Now that I am a parent of 4 month old baby, I can only imagine what she must have gone through without anybody's help.

With all the respect, gratitude and admiration that I have for her, recently I have been turning very irritated with anything that she does.

She seems to have lost her mental balance and most times she does things that completely embarrasses the whole family including my wife.

She lives across a street where I live and she usually visits us daily for all her needs. While I am completely aware that what I am feeling isn't right, I also believe that am not reacting without a reason.

I am so confused, I cannot even begin to describe the nature of the problem
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I hate my mum but live her so much at the same time... It cuts me up and I can't hurt her feelings, so I take it out on myself instead
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Mo3
I just submitted my own story. I sincerely believe I am evil for hating that woman so much. Its awaiting moderation right now, but if you happen to see it...
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Oh wow. I just read Luna's comment above. My story is the same exactly. I have low self esteem anxiety and anger management. My mom wasn't there for me either. I know and can relate to your experience 100%. And the maddening thing is that she tells me I need therapy. And she herself has been in therapy for 20 plus years. So she knew better. It's all so maddening. No on to own up and fix it. Damage is done and no one to trust. Sucks so badly.
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I just want to vent. I can't tell my friends or family how much I hate my mother. She is and always has been an embarrassment. When I was young she stove me to school in a rusty old Pontiac that she loved. She would wear old cut up rock tshirts and not change for days. Now because she let all her teeth rot, she now no only looks like a monster she didn't get dentures and had a stroke so now she is disabled. (a clog from her rotting teeth gas her the stroke). I could never introduce her to any of my friends or family. She pretty much mooches off he ex boyfriend for rent and food cause she has no job and cant seem to get fed assistance. Also, I have never introduced her to any of my boyfriends over the past 10 years. I'm 30 now and want to start settling down but the thought of having her at my wedding or even meeting someone I want to marry makes me cringe. Today I was going to brave it and take her to a parade... I asked if she would be ready when I got there, you know shower, hair, clothes makeup.... She said she did all that yesterday.... Wow, hello, you need to do that stuff everyday!!! She doesn't shower sometimes for weeks, her exboyfriend is really kind to let her stay. I hate her and would never allow her to stay with me. If he kicks her out I don't know what she would do. Even worse I feel like if the stroke and cancer would just take her that I could feel like I wouldnt have to deal with her dumb ass any more. For that I feel horrible and then angry at her again for making mr feel like that about my own mother!! There for I hate her and wish she would either change or check out. :-(
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ya i know what you feel i am going through the same boat in fact experiences with that bitch has left me numb.i want to have children and live a normal life but i am scared about being a bad parent i don’t want my kids to go through what i went through. I am sure that i will be a good mother and will never ever emotionally abuse my kid or show partiality that she has shown to me .
there are no pills for the post traumatic stress that you feel but i can offer you one way of dealing with it .whenever i have those bad memories I try to divert my mind and think about something else this has really helped me i try to avoid her as much as possible by keeping minimal contact.
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@: senses.
Don't shy away from being a parent because your mother is awful. Instead of being afraid that you will be like her, strive to be the mother she was not. I didn't have kids for the very reason you gave, and I regret it. Don't let her win.
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ya you are right when i see a normal relationship I often wonder how that can be /I know it and I want children but that scare is still there/
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v11
I hate my mother. I have told her I hated her from childhood, and it has only gotten worse. My dad tried to interveine maybe once or twice, but since then has given up. I think incredibly different than she does and any attempt i have at even trying to have a conversation with her, ends in screaming. She is ignorant and immature, and it hurts to the point where it's best to accept there is no hope and just move on. It's a normal thing to hate a degrading person or someone whose habits annoy you, try to move away and live the life you want, and grow from your experience.
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(PART TWO) : Then when she feels bad about what happened she comes to you crying and saying you know im always like that its my PMS who puts me like that bla bla bal. It's not true cause I have to think every fucking word I'm gonna say because I m scared to get her mad. I was talking to my dad over the phone and I told him that I dont like the fact of having a toilet in my new bedroom. My mother heard that and now shes angry at me and doesnt talk to me the last thing she told me : You talked with your dad, you've been able to say bad things about the appartment ?. HEY ITS JUST A FUCKING TOILET I PUT A CURTAIN IN FRONT OF IT AND ITS OK NOW DONT BEGIN TO BE MAD AT ME !? I'm only 14 and i look forward to be an adult and to move of this shitty place. Plus my mother dont want to me to a boyfriend cause im too young and school is more important and she said : when you'll get one, im not gonna be an easy mother-in-law and i will piss him off . okay ? and she is always forcing me to have 100% at school like if I wasnt doing my job right. I just want to be alone to stop hearing her talking about how miserable she is and all of her fucking problems. I'm so tired and depressed cause she says I have nothing interesting to say and i live in the past and i always talk about calories and fat. IF YOU WERE WATCHING WHAT YOU EAT, MAYBE YOU WOULDNT BE EATING EVERY FUCKING THING IN THE REFREGIRATOR AND TREATING YOURSELF OF FAT WHALE ? I can't support her she s always saying CHANGE YOUR MOOD IM FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING YOU LIKE THIS. It's fucking boring and unpleasant to be with her. oh my god.
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my mother has been verbally and emotionally abusing me for a long time.. my boyfriend has cancer at the moment and she has no heart.. she tells me i use his cancer as an excuse to get depression! and also says that because im in my mid twenties i should be out of home.. she always tells me she wants me out of the house but i really cant afford it right now! its horrible! she drinks quite a bit and usually if there is a big event like a birthday or christmas mum gets wasted and starts being a real bitch, she goes ferral.. id say its quite normal if your in a similar situation to me to hate your mother!
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Hye folks. I hate my mom too. I hate her so much that I can't stand not even a minute in a room with her.

Oh yeah, to those who tend to judge those who hates their moms are ungrateful and etc, just because you have a perfect mom, doesn't give u a right to judge us like that. Walk in our shoes for a day, then u may judge us with whenever you wanna say.

My mom has always been biased. She's always being mean to me, to my family members, but mostly, she hated me the most.

I always caught her talking shits about me behind my back. It's very hurtful. One time, I stood up and asked her straight to her face, I said, "Why would U say stuff like that behind my back ?" And she stood like an idiot there, being speechless after I caught her with the dirt on her.

I caught her talking behind my back again, today. She said I'm lazy just because I didn't wash several dishes last night. For god sakes, it's not that big of a deal.

I used to be the maid of the house. I cook, clean and do everything that needs to be done to make sure she doesn't come home after work with her loud - radio - mouth.

I'm a woman, but I smoke cigarettes. Yes, I smoke, and it was all because I'm too stress out because of my mother.

I'm good in my academic, I'm doing well in my studies and I achieved good reputations in schools, I went to boarding school and now I'm studying in one of the best university in my country. People see me as a success, bold, full with integrity woman, but they never know what's there inside me actually.

I keep everything to myself. I told my boyfriend, yes, and some of my closest friends about what I have to dealing with. I really thank God that they understand me, cause they know I ain't lying.

What I heard from her today seriously breaks my heart. She talked as if I'm a worthless bitch that did nothing around the house but sleeping. Whereas I'm whipping my ass out working around the house trying to keep in in perfect shape.

Just because I was raised with your money and lived for 9 months in your womb, that doesn't gives her any right at all to act like such a bitch for the rest of my life.

I may owe my life to her once, but just to be clear, I never wanted to be born at the very first place.

My anger and hatred towards my mom has made me become a bitter person. And now, I'm diagnosed that I'm suffering from a psychological disruption called Schizoid.

And if there's one thing to be blame for what I am now, I BLAME MY MOM.
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Part 2
Of course I ignored this and tried to start eating my breakfast but she came over and snatched it away and told me to leave the house. She proceeded to throw away the breakfast I finally made. She kept screaming at me and of course I tried to explain everything that she did, she wouldn't listen and kept throwing hard things at me and hitting me and pushed me off the chair as well. As a child you can't hit back or everyone would feel disgusted and see you as a bad child. She kept hitting and hitting and of course I cried because it hurts and she just kept telling me to shut up but because I was crying out of pain I couldn't control it. My brothers came down and told me to go upstairs to my room to calm down. Yeah, after all that it is MY fault. = = Also I got the term 'scarface' from my brothers, they call mum that all the time, they call her a b and scream at her for coming into their room. For some reason, my mum would never punish them, she would just go into her room to sulk. I would feel sorry for her then, yea... only me. I think my mum just hates me the most and one day when I grow up and find my way into society, I will try to break contact with her but will still talk to dad and my grandparents. I just wish all you other people will have a happy ending one day as well.¬¬¬¬
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cristina95
threatning** and when she threatens my father she threatens to either kill him or deport him she's out of her damn mind, she has bruised and hit me before but shes just i dont even know anymore it kills me to see her when she cries but deep down i know and she knows she has had it coming once im 18 im not going to probably have anything to do with her any longer
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I'll try to keep this short. When I was a kid, my mother called me "You rotten bastard". Actually until I was about 32 when my dad died. She's always been awful, a tyrant. She always treated my sister and older brother better, and my other brother and me like crap. She had a stroke and my older brother and sister wanted to put her in a home. I should have let them, but I didn't. I made sure she got back home, stayed with her 3 weeks even though she treated me like shit, called my sister "sweetie" even after she was going to put her in a home. She is a chameleon. She can be something to some people and they think she's this sweet little old lady. I know otherwise. She got people fired when she worked. If she can't get something out of someone, she has no use for them.
My mother has lived with me for almost 3 years as she was no longer able to take care of herself. So who is the dumbshit?? Don't answer. I am trying to 'do the right thing'. She mostly sits in a recliner and watches TV all day. I took her on trips to places she's never been, took her to see the Pope for her 80th birthday, bought her stuff, done everything I can think of to make her life pleasant. I wanted to make the end of her life happy, since she never has been. I tried to get her to close the door one day when I got home from work because it was really cold in the room. I figured it would be good for her to get up since she'd been sitting all day probably. She waited until I came in the room then sat down again, so I got pissed and slammed the door. She said, "You're a real bastard, you know it!?" So, I had enough. I'm civil to her, make her lunch and dinner and make sure she gets her meds, but I'm done trying to make her life 'nice'. I hate her and I'm almost 49 years old. Thanks for everyone sharing. It's good to know I'm not the only one who hates their mother.
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Hate ,that what they had tough me i hate everything around me i never felt love , i'm 23 years old male since the beginning i'm unlike my parents in everything even in look thank God i'm good looking way more my parents people would be amazed that they are my parent , even though my hideous awful dad keep telling me i'm gross ugly he called me every name in the book and every cuss you can imagine he started to kick me out of the house when i was 12 years old and streets were full of scumbag and homos i remember in the winter i was wearing only t shirt and smoking waiting for the mosque to open up to be like shelter for me , this awful person my father said it straight to my face several times over and over since i was 12 years old i hate you you should not live with us , you are loser and so on , everyone knows my friends and family member that i'm smart and i'm good person , anyways when i was 15 i developed schizophrenia the first episode of the illness started with big fight with him , i could put up with illness all this year i'm now 23 graduated from tourism guidance collage and i have decent job in Expedia i met american woman in that company and she liked me , she lives now in america and i though of marrying her and go to live in america away from all these , but i didn't tell her i'm schizophrenic and i know it will blow up if i tell her that . i really want to live and settle in egypt but it seems impossible with all these obstacles my father and my mother she is monster she never hugged me support me or even appreciate anything i do , she always trying to underestimate me i hate her fuckin' guts i'm really torn should i go to america and start new life although it will be full of lying and troubles or staying in egypt and face my own destiny ??? btw i respect all these people in here it is not easy believe to say i hate my mother or my father unless there is huge mistreatment . regards
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I told my mother my husband and I were going to adopt a baby. A few months later I heard from my sister that my mother is telling people I am pregnant, so that when we adopt everybody thinks it's biological. And THAT's my mother.
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part 2:

She is NEVER EVER EVER EVER wrong. I can't remember a single time in my life when she admitted a mistake or apologized for something. Nothing is safe to say - If I comment that the ketchup is missing, and then realize it's on the fridge shelf instead of the door, well, she will think she's being attacked, and will launch into a long monologue about why she put it on the shelf vs the door and why her reasons are justified and she'll go on to say that I am being unreasonable and petty and childish, etc. My fucking god, all I said was the ketchup was not in the door!! and it's World War fucking 3!! Can you say DEFENSIVE?!?! "Walking on eggshells" does not even begin to describe what it's like to be around her. And no matter what the conversation or argument is about it ALWAYS comes back to her. ALWAYS! My son told her he was thinking of going to the oil fields in North Dakota to get a job. Does she say she'll miss him? Does she tell him he's brave for going so far (we are on the east coast)? Does she praise him for wanting to be self-sufficient (He's 20 and can't find work here for last 2 years – our county is 2nd worst unemployment in the state)? No! She immediately starts wailing about “who's going to cut her grass now, who's going to wash her car, who's going to do any heavy lifting or “manly” type of work around the place? How could he DO this to her?!?!?”

REALLY???? Thanks Grandma, love you too!!!

I am embarrassed to be in public with her because she STINKS. She showers about once a week and even then doesn't use soap or shampoo. Never uses deodorant, she says the aluminum in it will give you cancer. I guess combing your hair must give you cancer too cuz she won't do that either. Forget being in a car with her, I want to gag. And she'll come to my house (which is unfortunately right across the street from her) to use my washing machine, and she'll say, "I'm going home now but I'm going to borrow your bathroom first." And then she'll sit in there for a fucking half-hour til the air is green, taking a massive dump! OMFG, you couldn't have gone home to do that??! You couldn't walk across the STREET to shit in your own bathroom?? And it's not just the shit - it's the crotch-rot, and her stinking body. The bathroom is a bio-hazard when she comes out!! And this didn't just happen once, this happens OFTEN. I truly can't decide if she's that fucking clueless, or if she is doing it on purpose!

She is an absolute PIG. She is a hoarder and when I was growing up the house was just like what you would see on an episode of Hoarders. Some people hoard things like clothes or possessions, and some people hoard TRASH. Guess which one she hoards? Picture 4' piles of trash, rotting food, cat and dog shit, used tampons, you name it, from one end of the house to the other. Picture maggots everywhere. Picture 4 children growing up in this hell.

more, next post.
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part 4:
Us kids were not allowed to play with anyone. We were kept completely isolated. We changed schools almost every single year (we went to la-di-da Christian schools). My parents would get behind on the tuition and the school wouldn't let us return the next year because it wasn't paid off so we would have to go somewhere else. I can count 6 different schools in 8 years, and yet we never moved. How fucking stupid is that? I can see if you're military or something and get moved around a lot, but we just had to change schools because they were too fucking lazy to pay the bills. And my dad made GOOD money back then, so it's just ridiculous that they would let that happen. He was an electrical engineer working for the governement. GOOD money, but he and my mom preferred to spend it on electrical gadgets and toys for them (which back then included ham radios and weirdo glowing green something-scopes, etc)...and we're living in a maggot house, wearing moldy clothes, getting fines from the city because our grass is 3 feet high, our yard toilet-papered on a monthly basis, electricity getting cut off, no food in the house (but her car would be piled to the CEILING with fast food bags), getting bullied by day at school, getting molested by daddy at night, getting screamed at and pinched and slapped and hair pulled the rest of the time by mom...

And daddy's idea of punishment was to take his daughter (until about the age of 12 when I started fighting back) and strip her naked, and tie her or handcuff her to his bed and beat her. With his hand, a belt, a switch from the rose bush (with the thorns still on!!) and then afterwards hold her, still naked, in his lap, rubbing her entire body with baby oil and telling her what a good Christian girl she was and how he just hated, oh he HATED to have to punish her but she really shouldn't have left her bookbag on the living room floor (or the kitchen light on, or the faucet dripping, or the bike not on it's kickstand, or the salt-n-pepper shakers facing the wrong direction, or looking at him while sneezing, or using pink hair-ties instead of yellow, or god knows what other fucking demented reasons he had for "punishing" us.
There's plenty more, but y'all get the idea...

more....
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part 5:

To this day, I have no friends because I don't trust ANYONE. AT ALL. I only know how to relate to men on a sexual level, and have been lied to and used so many times until I finally realized how self-destructive my actions were (always choosing the wrong kind of man) until I just got to the point that I don't even try to date anymore, for 3 years now. I'm only 40 for god's sake, but I have realized I am going to die alone. The only reason I haven't killed myself already is because of my wonderful son. I won't do that to him.

And I don't know how to be friends with women because a)I viewed them as rivals for so long (since I related to all men in a sexual way), and b)i never had any good female role models and wasn't allowed to have friends as a child so I just never learned how to relate to other women. Plus, I obviously couldn't tell this story to someone "normal", they couldn't handle it, and if I try to establish a friendship with someone and NOT tell them, then I feel like the hugest fucking phony in the world!! I can't even describe what a fraud I feel like. I am convinced that it is only a matter of time before they realize what a damaged piece of shit I am, and run the other direction away from me. So I either hide the facts and put on a "face" day after day until I can't pretend anymore, or I try to trust someone and tell them a little bit about my mother, and you know what I almost always hear? "Well, she's the only mother you have so you have to love her." Can you comprehend the rage I feel when I hear that sentence? It angers me for 2 reasons. 1)that person is not even trying to relate or sympathize or ANYTHING! They are fucking chastising me(!?) because I don't love my abusive mother??! And 2) I KNOW SHE'S THE ONLY ONE I GOT, DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO FUCKING RUB IT IN!!!!!!?????? Until the day I die, this evil hag is the only fucking mother I'll EVER have, THANKS, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW!!

I am utterly alone. I do have a job but I work out of my home and rarely leave the house anymore if I don't have to. I'm looking at my cell phone contacts right now and there are 4 numbers to pay bills, my bank's 800 number, the vet, some old guy I bought firewood from last winter, ASUS customer support, the dump-truck company that put a load of gravel on my driveway, the local hospital, Lowes, the local CVS, the salon I get my hair cut at, a storage place I used last summer, some number I called about a guy to cut my grass, my doctor, my boss, my son and my mom. NO personal contacts, except my son and my mom. And I've had this phone over a year. I don't even have my brother or 2 sister's phone numbers.

more...
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part 6:

None of us kids talk to each other anymore. And I don't just mean *I* don't talk to them, no, I mean NONE of us talk to NONE of us anymore. It's partly the bad childhood memories that we all remind the others of, and partly some of the horrible things we did to each other when we were younger and didn't know any better and were emulating our shitty parents, and other reasons, too, I'm sure but those are the main ones. Of 3 girls and one boy, only I and one other sister still talk to my mom, and I was the only one that still would see my dad, and that was only after he'd had a stroke and was bed-ridden and not a threat anymore. I was so relieved when he died. At first anyway....but then I got mad because some tiny part of me still hoped til the bitter end that he would magically become a loving father but when he died, that was it. I couldn't pretend to myself anymore that SOME DAY he would become the dad I'd always wished for. That pathetic sub-conscious shred of hope kept me going for so long until even it was gone and now I have nothing but my horrible memories...He never acknowledged what he did to me or apologized. Plus, I hoped my mom would change when he died, that maybe she would relax and be happy now....but no.

So, some of this was about my dad and not my mom, but it is all wrapped up together in my experiences, so I couldn't talk about her without talking about him. I've probably given some of y'all nightmares, and some of y'all won't believe half of it, and some are crying right now because it sounds exactly like what they grew up with....

I don't like to say that I *wish* my mother would die.....but I damn sure wouldn't cry if she did!!!

So, yeah.... I hate my fucking mother. And I don't even care anymore if it's normal.
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The Bitch thing about Moms..

When your friends call you names, tease you, and make you feel like shit, Your mom can do a thousand times worse. Just one word can shatter you. My mom will not stop until I break up with my girlfriend. She is such a FUCKING CONTROL FREAK! She will NEVER be impressed no matter WHAT I do. No medal or award will EVER please that BITCH! I have tried everything to NOT hate her, but she just erks me to my core. I hate My MOM! My grandmother on the other hand understands me. The fact that Grandparents and Grandchildren get along, is because they are united by a common enemy,Moms and Dads.

One time when got so sick of her shit, i asked her best friend to talk to her. She's quiet, but her Bitchiness increased a Thousand fold.
Now, I hate everything about her..
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Mothers that act this way are actually women who have lived lives devoid of love, women who are extremely starved for love. They have an endless and infinite need for attention.

Below is an affirmation that you can give such women to read. By their reaction to this text you will know how close or far away they are from recovering from their (miserable) condition. This text will also give you an insight into such women's inner world, and may even shed some light on some of your inner demons. Enjoy!
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Affirmation to Overcome Resentment

[If you harbor resentment that you cannot seem to overcome and release, print out this text and read it out loud in front of a mirror with much emotional expression.]

I am such an important "turkey" that I cannot allow anyone to be and act according to their nature, which I happen to dislike. I am such an important "turkey" that if someone says something or does something wrong, I will punish them dearly with all of my resentment. Oh, they will see how important it is, my resentment, and they will be viciously punished for their "transgression!" Because I am a very, very important "turkey."

I do not value my life. I do not value my life to such an extent that I don't care if I waste my valuable time on resentment. I will give up a minute of joy, a minute of happiness, a minute of playfulness, and instead will devote such time to my resentment. And I don't care that these frequent minutes of resentment will add up to hours, hours to days, days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. I do not regret spending years of my life in resentment because I do not value my life.

I have no self-awareness. I lack self-awareness to such an extent that I will never notice my frowned eyebrows, pouted lips, my somber facial expression. I will never see how grotesque I look in this condition and will never laugh at it or laugh at my absurdity. Never. Because I lack any self-awareness and cannot view myself objectively.
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A lot of these stories sound like the relationship I have with my mother. I think she has a narcassistic personality disorder.She uses the fact that I live at home to keep me in a constant state of anxiety by threatening to kick me out of the house if I don't do what she says on a minute to minute basis. I'm 23 and probably too old to be living at home, but I'm still studying and can't afford to move out. When I was 16 I said I thought I was ugly and hated my nose and instead of disagreeing she booked an appointment for me to see a plastic surgeon I think purely to piss off my dad from whom she had recently separated. After I had the surgery done and saw the result I started crying as 1/2 of my nose had caved in and was completely disfigured, I looked over at her and she had this amused look on her face. I had to wait a year to have revision surgery to breathe properly again and when I raised this with her at the time she said - oh no, you're nearly an adult now, I think you should take care of it, which obviously I couldn't afford. My sister is studying medicine,probably going to be loaded, has a good relationship with my dad, huge amount of friends, boyfriend etc. and is moving out in a few weeks; my mother is absolutely servile towards her it makes me sick.Earlier this evening I overheard her making plans to take a cat I adopted to an animal shelter; when I raised this with her she started screaming and crying and threw a cup at the wall. I know this a totally unhealthy relationship and its not constructive to hate someone so much but I don't know how to change this?
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Same with me i hate her as much she hates me
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Gosh this makes me feel so much better about my life.

Just like the rest of you I legitamentally hate my mother...My parents divorced when i was four. I loved my mom when I was younger until I could really understands things, no one could move me from her she was my favorite person.
since about 6th grade i knew shed been sleeping with a married man. I would look through her found read txt and see pictures, I knew she was being "the other women" in an affair.
We used to fight so bad about it she would try to cover it up and some how she was so manipulating that i would believe whatever she said but now 17 years old i hacked into her email found everything i mean EVERYTHING emails between them from years ago mind you i saw there sex tape and she lied about that too she told me it was over but it wasnt she loves him and shes a puppy for him she would do anything for him but he wont he has 4 kids and a wife. SHE DIGUSTS ME. I hate her every day for it...
Shes always running around doing pointless erins for hours and now i know where she goes i cant stand her. She complains shes such a good mom and does everyhting for me and my sister yet how could i ever look up to her shes no role model shes a slut.
She buys my love and she should because im so fucking close to telling my family and i have before but yet again she covers things up so easily everyone loves her too because she does everything for her parents to make sure they have no reason to hate her yet no one sees the double life she lives and how her and that man WHOM are families are and have been close with since i was born. Shes been lying to me for years and i cant handle it i cry and cry and cry. who was a mistress as a mother. i have no respect for her.
she thinks shes so fucking hot and doesnt let you forget it she makes me and my sister feel like shit soemtimes because she boast about her perfect body but i see nothing but the truth on her and it just makes her ugly. but no one ever understand why im mean if i say it shed kill me and im so young no one believes me even with the proof i have!
besides that she yells at me for never being home. My older sister never had friends and was a bit of an outkast i have lots of friends good friends to we dont do bad things but i dont want to me home ever so i leave to hang with them and she hates that i have friends if im home me and my mom are either fighting or i sit and lock myself in a room i cant handle her she makes me want to kill myself i used to cut because of her. SHES THE FAKEST BITCH I HAVE EVER MET. She pretends and pretends to be perfect so no one will see her cover. I FUCKING SEE IT EVERYDAY. Idk if i should hate her..but i cant help it i feel tension everywhere thinking about her it drives me insane to think about. i just want nothing to do with her.
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I was the age 21 my parent dicided to separate.
Apology my english but I have to tell you this.
My Mother left my father afeter 21 years.
She got a new boyfriend and told us everting going to be good. But after Six year of separate she decided to divorce from my father because he got retierd she wont every money she could get.
But after so many years paing the bills for our home. He didn't get that much money to pay my mother of what she got from the law in switzerland for doing nothing. So we had to make a deal to keep our house that he pays her every month 1000 swiss francs. But you must also make the calculation from the year 1994 to 2002 they earnd both nearly 1000000 dollar a year. But at the year 2002 of the separetion he got a bill from the goverment over 12000 swiss frances what is not normal and he has to pay every month 2000 swiss francs for the house. So some body tell me wenn you earn 1000000 swiss francs thogether how you can have that enormous debt they had. Only If the woman steals your money and you don't get it. And my father was a guy like this, he is to doubtful and trusted her all the time. That was his problem but you can't do anything the law his to hard and the women always get right.
So this is how i hate my mother and I hope you got my position and I never speak to my mother since 2003 and also skip the funeral of my grandmother this year to not see my mom.
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My mother blames me for everything. My Dad has cancer and it is my fault. I love my Dad, but he is 74 years old, smoke all his life, and did not eat right, her fault on that one. He has had a good life and I do hope that he has many more years to come, but lets face facts no one lives forever! My mother spends more money on her cats then bitches about not having money to pay the bills. They make good money for being retired over 4k a month. More money then most do working. Anyways she blames me for everything she can. When ever I am around her she always wants to start a fight about anything she can, from the food My wife and I eat to the way we treat our kids ie with love. She tell me that we need to spank our kids and if we don't she will. I told her I would not stand for that. She got all pissed off and said "It never killed you to be hit". No it did not but I hate you for it. When ever go there she yells at the kids for messing up her house. They don't, but she will sit there and watch a cat shit on her floor, and jump on the table if you leave food there, the dogs will piss all over the place. NASTY! She has over 10 inside cats, 3 inside dogs, and will over 35 outside cats that she feeds. Her house smells like piss, but me and the kids are almost forced to eat outside in fear of us dropping food. She is always picking at me about something. I have a bad back and can no longer stand on my feet for 8hrs a day at work. She tell me just walk it off get up and move. She has no idea what kind of pain I am in. I can go on forever, but the bottom line is she never wanted me and I wish she gave me away when I was a baby. The first opportunity I get after my dad dies I going to put her ass in rest home and have the Court put my bother as trust for her because she will blow all her money on cats and not pay the bills.
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My mother blames everything on me since my childhood. She told me that I was Bad in school (though I was straight A student), bad in college ( I finished my masters with 3.9 GPA), bad with job (I make more than $150k/year). The thing that surprises me the most is the fact that she compares me to my incompetent cousins who are drug addicts and failures in their lives.
It started when I caught her once fucking another men while my dad was out and I was in 7th grade. I was told to keep my mouth shut. I did keep my mouth shut but in 2 years I was thrown out of house. She manipulated my father and told my dad that I was spying on her. Life was very difficult after that for 10 years until I finished my college.
I stopped talking to her now and don't see her for years. 15 years I did not tell anyone because people don't believe that a real mother can be such a BITCH. But I am relieved to know that there are other people out there too. I stopped blaming myself for her failures and her miserable life.
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before i found this site, i thought i was the only one in this world who hates her mother. i feel relief when i read your comments. I'm 23 and I'm getting married this year. My mother doesn't work. I pay for the house and the bills. Although I have a great job with good salary, its not enough for her. She always tells me that she doesn't need me and she can have a life of her own but still she lives in our house. Controls my life and makes me feel i'm the worst daughter in this world. when I decide for myself, she ALWAYS make me feel that I'm wrong. When I buy my clothes, it's ugly but when she buy it for me, its the fashionable (even it looks like nothing fashionable in anyway). She always sick. She have slight leukemia, diabetes, arthritis and anything you could imagine but she would rather buy facial cream than to buy her meds. Although her doctor said she doesn't have slight leukemia just anemia. she doesn't have diabetes just a bit higher glucose level than a normal person. she always make exaggeration for people to feel bad about her. She always complain that she doesn't have money but my dad and I give her allowance every month. My dad is suffering from cancer but still gives her money so that she would just shut up. When I was in grade school until college. she beats me up when i have low grades. She goes to any school event and when i did not invite her she feels like i'm mean to her. "I'm the best mom you can find. I'm better than your friend's mom. I know everything under the sun." Does this sound like your mom? you are not alone. my fiancee and I bought a house of our own but she will still live with us. She tells me that she will die soon and want to spend her life with me. That's the best way to make someone feel bad about her. I just want my own life. A supportive mother but not obsess with me. A mother who have her own life to live and who doesn't think her daughter is her only life. ***BOW***
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OMG! I joined this site specifically because I came across these posts and I realize I am soooo not alone! I'm a grown woman in my 40s, with a child of my own, and I keep waiting for my relationship with my mother to improve, but it never does! I know hate is such a strong word, but my frustration with her is so overwhelming that I want to put my own head through a window at times. She is the most miserable, manipulative, deceitful, dishonest, lazy, plain mean, angry person I know; and overall just a really bad mother. I love my mother, and I TRY so hard to give her props and credit where credit is due. She was wonderful at coddling us and hugging us and loving us as children, and we never really wanted for anything. She was never physically abusive, well...maybe a tiny bit as we got older...there have been times where I was fearful of her and concerned for my safety... but nothing ever too aggressive, if you follow me. Anyway, I'm just relieved to know that I am not alone in this! I will be back to vent further and paint a broader picture, but for now...I'm feeling so very normal and can finally let go of that unnecessary guilt I've been carrying around all of this time, feeling bad for not processing my emotions correctly... turns out, I'm not WRONG for not liking my mom. I'm normal :)
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I've hated my mother for as long as I can remember (I'm fourteen). She takes away my things as punishment when I've done literally nothing wrong. She's always commenting on how I eat, what I eat, and how much I eat. She "subtly" tells me I'm fat. She tells me how my best friend isn't pretty, and whenever I mention her being too thin she'll say "she's a small person if she weighed any more she'd look even worse." I don't know what her obsession with weight is but it's insane, and I know it's not cultural because she from Colombia. She always trying to say she's not hispanic like she has some problem with not being white, which pisses me off because that's the only thing I like about myself. She's always telling people that I die my hair black, which I don't. She puts me down all the time and never admits she's wrong, which is all the time pretty much. She expects me to do what she says without questioning it. She never ever retains a word I say even if it's just telling her what kind of soda I want. It got so bad that I ran away from home and she still didn't realize it was her fault. She abbreviates my name and I HATE it. It's always "Santi do this." and "Santi do that." It's SANTIAGO I'm not a fucking girl don't make me sound like one. I hope she dies soon.
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Im Soo Happy I Found This Site. My Mom didnt have the best mom growin up she is Black And Mexican. But i know with all my heart i will never be like her. She Is one UGLY person she is a horrible mother, loud, EVIL, bitter, fake, and Not the smartest. Let me tell u about my life im not aloud to go anywhere, do anything and she treats me like im 12 i cant drive, barely started my first job and to top it off my little sister is starting to hate her too so its sad all her kids are on the path of hatred toward their mother my big sister cant stand her she was happy when she left. Like this one situation i know my mom constantly pisses me off so i try and stay in my room and one day she is gonna say how she is starting to not like me because im startin to be a little bitch and i will rip what i soul. Just because i try and not talk to her when i see her or i juss say a few words. She Calls us dumb asses she hits us in our mouths (i have braces) and just a while ago i didnt hear her call me and the second i went to her she was yellin at me we dont live in a ef'n mansion im gettin ef'n tired of u so i said uh huh. And she hit me in the arm with the end of the vacuum cord. I have so many stories i jus need to cope she makes me wanna like die i dont even see better for my self once i grow up and i dnt understand why it has to be me god cant have it out for me. I just need help and my dad chose his girlfriend over me and cant even call me. My step dad is no father figure ive never had one i dnt know if im going to college if ill ever have a car. Im juss crying out for help i dnt want to turn to bad things. :,(
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I'm glad I found this blog, ok so let me tel u my story. I live with both of my parents and 3 sisters. My father doesn't care for us he can't even do a simple stupid thing without complain about his money but we are used to that. My real problem is always thought I could dependent om my mother not until she showed me she doesn't care for me too like my father do. My mother loves my sisters way better than me. She buys them clothes, phones,give them lot of money.if I ask her to give me money to go to the salon do my hair,oh she wil tel me oh I dnt have enough money I wil give to you some other times. She doesn't how to talk to me all she do will call me names and say people wil hate you were you go and I wonder where you going to end up with your life. So I told her I don't like the things she tells me, she start to yell at me and say I wish I could Hate You infront of my big sister and she doesn't like me to because of my mother. I never ever thought the woman who carried me in her WOMB for 9 months and after all this years she's been hating me that's why she behaves this way. Then I started to ask my self I question maybe she regret to have me that's why. My big sis want me to leave the house so that they can have all the attention they've been longing for. I'm about to turn 21 after 2months. What should I do
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My mother has 6 children total. 5 girls (me being on of them) and one boy. I hate her, I'm not going to lie. I've only been on this earth for 13 years, but seriously have every right to say I hate her. She makes life for my father a literal living hell. I'm the only kid left at home and I hate it. I miss living with my siblings, because they would protect me from her and her.. bitchy-ness (pardon my French.).
I realized though, I've never had it as bad as my siblings. I'm here to tell THEIR story. Long ago, before I was born, my five older siblings had always been left home alone with my mother because my dad (bless his heart) had always been gone to work as a police officer. My mother would lock my brother and sisters outside once Dad left, all the way until the hour before he came home. Even in the winter time, she would do this. My brother had to sit on top of her old car to keep warmth. My next door neighbors would invite them in for food and to sit by the fire.
When my mother decided to keep them in the house, she would padlock the panty door and put unparishable food in her closet and lock her bedroom door. One day my brother was so hungery he ate a frozen hot dog. My mother saw him, smacked the rest of the hot dog out of his hand, and stuck her finger down his throat to force him puke it back up. They wouldn't eat dinner until 8:00 pm. They didn't even get lunch. After my brother pulled that stunt, the fridge would get chained up.
Now, keep in mind, my father NEVER knew this was happening. My mother told my siblings that they better not tell him, because he would beat the shit out of all of them. My father is a tower of a man, frightening, but has a heart of gold.
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I'm only 17 and everytime my mom is anywhere near me I get so angry I can't focus on anything for a couple of hours. My mom is from south america and my dad met her at a bar. how convinient she got pregnant with an american man. At this point every time she's a few minutes late home from work or if she goes on a trip I pray she was in a crash. I found out a tea she drinks all day every day causes like 5 diffrent kinds of cancer and I have no intention of letting her know. When I was little she could not keep her hands off me. To most it seemed like she was just being playful but I hated it. Around the time I was 11 or 12 I remember having 2 very disgusting vivid dreams about me and my mother. Around that age I became depressed, it became difficult to eat, I would sleep up to 18 hrs, and I turned to drugs & alcohol . Later my fasination of pyschology lead me to discover that I have many red flags of a child who has been sexualy abused. Unfortunatly I feel like there is absolutly no one I can tell hopefuly I can recieve some much neded advice this way.
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Glad that i found that there are people like me. I really do hate my mother. She says everything I do is wrong and everything she does is right. If I say what she did was wrong she would start yelling at me and say i have lived life more than you. Even though I try to control myself because of her ego she makes me tell something in an extreme angry way. I break something get out off the house and all. I have a sister and she is my mother baby and she thinks what I do is wrong and support my mom. It makes hell on me.Now because of her i am planning my higher studies to a really distant place in which even telephonic conversations wont be able in a daily basis. I don't know what to do afterwards. If I stay here i am sure i will get some depression or anything.
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I am almost 50, and it has taken me most of my life to reconcile my intense dislike of my mother and come to the realization that it's okay to admit that I hate her. In some odd way, I love her-but it's an obligatory love as opposed to a real affectionate love. Unfortunately, it really screwed me up in life and I married young to a man who did not have the capacity to love me back (he was actually gay and narcissist) and had two kids with him. I have never been able to remarry and do not believe that I will ever have the ability to share an honest and trusting relationship outside of my children. I blame my mother for this.

When I was a child, she left me with a babysitter that she knew was physically abusing me. She was a narcissist whose desires and needs trumped mine and my father's repeatedly. She was such a nag that my father died of a heart attack at 59- she literally nagged him to death.

I'm now a highly educated academic and this has only made things worse because it's now incredibly clear to me that she is stupid. Being the narcissist that she is, she continually attempts to demonstrate how much smarter she is than me by putting me down the way she did when I was a child, but now she only looks foolish.

It is quite cathartic to have the chance to admit how I feel because its not the most comfortable thing to talk about in polite company. But the fact of the matter is, I simply cannot stand my mother. I dread being around her and she puts me in a terrible mood every time I talk to her.

If I can only get her to stop calling me 5 times a day it would be great.
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Thank the lord I found this. I've hated mine for the past 4 or 5 years now. But I just recently realized that's what I have been feeling.I try so hard not to. All I want is to have one of those normal families where we get along. But I just can't. I don't get upset at the things she does or says anymore, I just get upset that we can't have a good relationship. Every conversation gets turned into a fight. Every single one. She holds everything, every little thing she does for me against me. Sure she does things for me. But no more than any other average parent but she acts like shes given me the world. She used to throw things at me and hit me. Now I'm older it's just verbal abuse. I know it's not as bad as some and I have no right to feel this way. But I do. It's not something I can help. No one I tell understands that I really mean it when I say I hate this woman. It just feels good to know I'm not the only one out there.
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I feel alot the same way about this quote below:

[Quote]
She says what she means, without worrying about peoples' feelings[/Quote]

My mom is a fcking racist(my personal opinion) *a Bitch* that always critizes people with name callings on our employees that she really hates, she is always jealous of employers that are hired by my father, that always resigns or gets fired because of her attitude, she ussually jealous if a girl gets hired she call them names like frog face, cow face, shit face on the first day, even tho they dont look like that and actually presentable, and when we hired boys, she ussualy just says their kleptomaniacs and robbers and stealers just because of their race,and she always tell me not to get involved with a girl or married to a girl which has a dif skin color toned than mine or dif race than mine, she likes to mention (every now and then she tries to convince me) or dictate that i need to marry the same bitch racist race as herself (i ussually ignore dis-regard when she does that, wipe it off my ears and forget about what she's saying), i am fkin 26 yr old and im fkin old enough, and this is enough comin from my fkin bitchy mom that think she's the queen. and thing that fkin triggers my hate is when she's infront of them she fkin pretends she aint a racist, but when u turn your back, she fkin flushes out all of her racist comments behind your back after talkin to someone else. she critizes alsmost all of the things that she fkin assumes without even giving tought to them. she fkin distrust even our own family members. what else do you guys think for none relative members? in short i think she's an *EVIL Bitch*

Anyone have a mom like this?
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My mother and I have nothing in common either. When I was in middle school and high school, she was always yelling at me and threatening to make me transfer schools or hold me back a grade because I had a few C's or something. Then I started doing really well in my last few years of high school but we still never got along. She just found other things to yell at me about and took credit for how well I was doing. When I was a senior, I got more lax about my grades because I had already gotten into college. She kept telling me how she wasn't going to let me go to college and how she was going to make me stay home for a year. I finally convinced my parents to let me go where I wanted to go. I just finished my freshman year and I had such a great time. I found a nice group of friends, I made the dean's list, etc.

She's been trying harder to be close to me since then, because we were not close at all in high school. I wanted nothing to do with her. I wouldn't tell her anything about my life because if I was ever having a problem with a friend or something, she would just tell me it was all my fault. So I learned never to do that. But the thing is, even though she says she wants to be friends and have a good relationship and whatnot, it doesn't seem like she gets that friends don't treat each other the way she treats me. She's manipulative, always going on about how she hates the way I cut my hair or the way I dress because she thinks that'll make me change it. And if I say I'm not going to, she gets passive aggressive and just stomps around and mutters to herself about what a bad kid I am. Or she'll hide in her room and refuse to talk to anyone. Friends don't act like that. Not to mention, she thinks I just don't want to be friends because I'm trying to hurt her. No. My childhood was hell and it was her fault. She yelled at me pretty much every day, and if I told her I didn't deserve to be treated how she was treating me, she'd hit. She told me I wasn't the daughter that she wanted, because I guess she thought I was going to be a clone of her or something. She won't take any responsibility for the fact that she made me miserable for 18 years. She just expects me to forget all about it and be best friends. It's not going to happen. And maybe I could forget about it if I thought she was being genuinely nice, but she's not. She's being manipulative as ever. I did great this school year, despite her telling me repeatedly that I would never survive college, that I would flunk out within the first semester. And it's not enough for her. Nothing is ever enough for her. And I don't want to have anything to do with her.
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My mom drank my entire life. It makes me wonder how she was even able to take care of me when I was a baby. When I was young I'd be leaving to go to school she'd be drinking. It was so emabarrassing to be out in public with her completely loaded or having friends come over and seeing her. She was ridiculously strict and never let me do anything. I remember being severely depressed when I was about 7 years old. When I became older she couldn't stand that her control over me was slipping away. She'd say the meanest things to me and call me the worst names. Emotionally she has never been there for me at all. It's been almost 20 years since I've moved out and she still tries to control my life. Criticizes me on the way I raise my kids, takes jabs at me whenever she can about anything. Will take any chance she can to tell me how she doesn't agree with my opinions. It's emotionally exhausting. Constantly she is accusing me of things and blaming me for things and than tries to manipulate the situation to make me look like the bad guy. I can't stand the thought of just removing her from my life but how much shit should one person have to eat even if it is from your own mother. :(
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My mother hates me very much, she beat me and i think she broke my bone. i'd love to kill her
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I truly hate my mother too. She constantly belittles every effort me and my sister took to better our lives. She's an obese, and emotionally abusive Narcisisstic bitch. She never took an interest in either of our lives. All that mattered was whether she got her needs met. Also, Turned both families on us with her BS and lies. Loaded up the house with her hoarding problem, as well. Also, chased me and my sister around the house with a broom. When we called the police to report her, she just sweet-talked them into leaving. Strongly recommend leaving your situation OP, as they never change, they get progressively worse!
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This may be out there... but often, seemingly irrational emotions of extreme discomfort and hatred towards adult figures are a result of childhood trauma... such as physical or sexual abuse. Is it at all possible that she maybe did something to you, as a child?
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I hate my mother too. It began when I was 6 or 7 years old. I was wearing a dress with tights and sliding around pretending to be a ballerina on the hardwood floor. I fell over and accidently broke a lamp. She came running in while I was still on the ground and then she slammed my head against the floor. I ran upstairs crying and my head hurt so bad.
I remember at 10-13, she was mean, bitter, would call me names like "heifer". She would call my hair nappy and said I should have my brother's nice hair because I'm the girl. She would ask why I didn't have a bra on in the house...I had no boobs at that time really, yet she'd get so pissed. She never discussed periods with me, never talked about how boys/men could take advantage of me which they did.
She was always yelling, making my dad leave because she is so annoying.
She always calls me evil and selfish...like if we're all going out to dinner and have to wait 5 minutes to be seated, she'll ask "you want to look at make up at this store across the street?" I say no because they may have a table ready, then I'm so evil! If I buy a can of Pepsi, she thinks it's evil because I didn't buy a 2 litre for her to have. She screams when I'm in the kitchen to clean up my mess even when I haven't made one. I'll do the dishes yet she'll credit my brother for doing it and thinks I'm lying.
I live with her and everyday is uncomfortable. I don't want to be around her. She's very loud, blames me for everything. We sh, she stares at me. She's rude, doesn't listen is passive aggressive especially when my dad isn't home. We share a car yet I can't drive it when I want to, she complains about gas even when I fill it up, parking spaces. I'm the listed driver, pay insurance. She doesn't even have a license because she doesn't know how to pay her bills/taxes.
Everything is all about her crazy ass. I hate how she watches hair/make up videos on youtube all day. I hate how she spends all day doing her hair just to wash it again and again. I hate how she spends all her money on hair products, make up, skin care then let's it all pile up in her room. I can't use any of it even though she doesn't use most of the stuff. She never has money for anything else and blames my dad for it.
I want to move out so bad! I lost my job a couple of months ago and I don't have any friends. BF wants to make more money. I wish I could move out and never see her again. I'll see my dad though, even though he has his issues too.

When I found out she had cancer 12 years ago I did not get sad at all. I hate her so much I wish it would come back and kill her.
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I do NOT think it is normal to feel this way about your mother. It indicates that there are deep-seated problems in the relationship. I personally feel EXACTLY the way the original poster describes and several years ago I finally started to do some personal therapy to find out why: I did free association writing on deliberate memory recall, writing freely and quickly about my memories of childhood, myself, and my family. I also observed other children with their parents and did some research on healthy family relationships. What happened was that I reached the astonishing realization that I had been brutally abused by my mother and that her hatred of me was the basis of our relationship. (I also realized some other things, important things, that had less to do with her and more to do with the family culture, and which did seriously affect my personality).

I had absolutely no concept that she was abusive and full of hatred before this, I only knew that I was so repulsed by her that I felt it in the physical. I actually thought it was my problem. The dysfunction of our relationship was so pervasive and longstanding that I assumed our relationship was normal (and I wasn't).

There is one other situation that may be relevant, one that a friend of mine went through. Her ex-husband "poisoned" her daughter against her in a classic case of "divorce poison." The father was an alcoholic and consumed with hatred toward the mother. He was emotionally abusive to her in the relationship and after the divorce he continued to abuse her through their child. The stress of the situation brought out the worst in my friend, which only "justified" the conclusion that the father and child shared: that my friend was an evil person and a bad mother.

Is there someone who also hates your mother, who wants to hurt her and has planted the seeds of hatred (probably when you were too young to remember) and fueling the fire of your repulsion? You say that others think she is an OK person, but it's an angle worth looking at.

In any case, it sounds like there are some very deep problems that you should try to work out for your own mental health. I tried to discuss with my mother the problems in our family but she is deaf to me (as she has always been), so I don't see her any more.

I hope you get this resolved.
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My story is probably going to be a long one and I will most likely post in multiple comments...
I am 58 years old and I can't believe that I am still dealing with these issues in regard to my mother... but they only seem to get worse as years go by. To be honest with you, I have only come to see the light of the true nature of my mother in the last four years. I think prior to then, that I didn't believe a mother could be capable of such hate... and that therefore perhaps I was partly to blame for our poor relationship. However, in these last four years, I have come to understand and realize so many aspects about my mother and now I understand her so much better and can see her for what she truly is. She is a heartless, selfish, vindictive, trouble-making monster.
My story begins at an age that I was probably too young to remember. I have been told that as a new-born, I was sent to stay with her older sister for six weeks but I have never been told "why." Yes, I've asked but have never received a solid answer. They have said... "well you had asthma when you were a newborn." But they never really said that is why I was sent there. I think it stands to reason that there was probably some bonding issues between the two of us from the get-go. Then my next major memory is of about the time I was five or six... I remember the stand-offs between us. I remember once that she swatted me with a clothes hanger for being sassy to her... (I was five or six). Then I remember an incident that I think may have scarred me for life. I was in the first grade at the time, it was the middle of winter and the middle of a "big" snow storm. A lady who lived down the street from us was our carpool lady. She had only her granddaughter to transport so my parents had an arrangement with her that she drove me and my siblings to and from school. My sister was three years older than me, my brother was 18 months older than me. I was the youngest in the carpool (1st grader). That particular day, at the end of the school day, I could not get my snow boots on... my teacher tried helping but she had no luck either so I guess she shooed me out the door to catch my ride. By the time I got out of the building, it was to see my ride driving through the snow covered parking lot, away from me. I yelled and yelled and yelled but they never looked back. Now back in those days... 1959 or 1960, we didn't have busing at our school, kids walked or had a ride and we lived about 2 to 3 miles from school. I began walking (limping along) with one boot on and the other half on. I was crying. I reached a familiar looking street that I knew one of my classmates lived on and I went to her house. Her mother tried helping put my boot on but was unable to and sent me on my way. Well I made it home but I was freezing and nearly frostbitten. I remember my mother putting me to bed right away with lots of blankets but I don't remember her crying with gladness to see me or any panic of having sent anyone out looking for me, etc. Ok, so I survived that but I've always wondered about her lack of concern. I remember a day that my oldest got off the bus at the wrong stop!!! My sister and I wasted no time driving all over (and finding him quickly) and having notified the police immediately, I felt like I was going to die until I found him (within 30 minutes).
So the years went on... I can remember not having appropriate shoes, shoes with holes in the bottoms and "me," NOT HER, putting cardboard in the soles, I remember bra straps being busted and pinning them with safety pins, clothes being too small, etc. I never thought anything about these things because I thought it all normal I guess. During these years, my grade school years and on into high school years, she never expressed any interest or concern about our schooling. I guess we had our school supplies each year but she never asked questions about homework assignments, tests, etc. I never remember any encouragement or boasting to us of our accomplishments. I just thought all this was normal... why wouldn't I?
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Part 2

Now I am going to switch to my sister's life to help explain this woman a little better... I should "and do" consider myself lucky. One day when my sister was 15 or 16, she told my mom that she had ingested an entire bottle of aspirin and that she wasn't feeling so good. It must have been in the late afternoon because my dad was preparing to leave for work, my mom was making his lunch. With that nasty look of hers, my mom told my sister to go sit out on the back porch until my dad left for work and that she better not say a word until he was gone! So after my left, my mom asked the neighbor to drive them to the ER where she had her stomach pumped. Now, this is not the worse that had happened to my sister. Apparently my dad had caught my sister and her boyfriend in a compromising position and he was quite pissed off about it, it started a big rukkus, etc. Well that is when my sister and her boyfriend told my mother about the sexual abuse that my mom's step-dad had been committing on my sister for most of her life. My sister claims that from her earliest memories, she thinks around three years old that the old man came to her bed at night and had actual intercourse with her... from that young age through the age of 15 or 16. Now I ask you... as mothers, who of us would not have suspected something in over 10 years of this abuse going on? You might wonder if it was made up, but I can only say that I don't believe so. Knowing my mom and how she handles situations, etc... I see it all happening as my sister stated. And my sister said that it was almost nightly. Now what I believe is a true possibility is that my mom threw her under the bus, meaning that the old guy was either going to take my mom or let her offer up her daughter and I believe she offered her daughter. Years later, we were told a story by one of my mom's only friends that she personally had taken my mom for an abortion, a pregnancy by this step-father of her and not my father.
My mother was always the type that would do anything this man said because he controlled the purse strings... I think he bought our groceries, paid the bills... I don't know, I just know that he owned my mother for some reason. We have always been told that she could never tell my dad "no" about blowing money on things and that they were always in need. Today, I still see this flaw in her... that people who can help her financially can do anything at all without her thinking badly of them... it's all about the all-mighty dollar.
Well my dad was "NEVER" told about the sexual abuse... my mother kept it from him and forbade my sister to tell him. She said that if my dad knew that he would kill this man and spend his life in prison. So she continued for a number of years to let this man continue coming around.... however, the abuse did stop at that time, at least on my sister it did.
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Part 3
Now...
Through these younger years... being the "third" child and by this time I had a younger brother by six years. Being the third child, I think that I just blended into the wallpaper, tried my best to stay quiet and go unnoticed to a degree... Or maybe I tried to get some attention from her, I really don't remember. All I can really remember is that my sister was a major league bully to me, beating me up anytime she got me alone, saying nasty things to me, etc. She never got into trouble for it, nothing was ever said to her. She and my younger brother got all the positive attention from my mom, my older brother and I got all the hell and damnation from her. My sister could get away with anything and she did, all the time. Well considering the big secret she and my mom kept, it is understandable and over the years, I have given my sister the benefit of the doubt because of it. I've tried having a good relationship with my sister over the years although it rarely lasts for long. We are up and down like a roller coaster.
Once when I was in my mid-twenties... one day my mom and I were talking and she screamed at me "Why couldn't YOU have been the fat one!" Another time years later, actually only a few years ago... my mom commented to me that "I was always the one who knew how to style my hair, wear my clothes, apply my makeup, etc..." Why would she say that to me if not in comparison to my sister... and yes, she did add "unlike my sister." My sister has always been a large girl to an obese woman... I've always been thin. I have tried telling my mom that I've been thin by choice, because I don't allow myself to get over a certain weight or size. This is a choice we make but I never considered that my mom would hate me for it.
Well... my sister has always been "everything" in my mom's eyes and I've been the awful one. I have not even begun to scratch the surface of the things my mom has done to me over the years. But I have always forgiven her and kept trying to have a civilized, if not loving relationship with her, over and over and over and over again. I have only in the last year or so realized that it will never happen, the woman hates and despises me.
What she has been doing the last two or three years is this... As I've said, I am 58 years old now. I'm on disability and have a very low income... and I live with her. Let me be more honest than that... I was living with her and my sister in my sister's home with my sister's live-in partner. Four years ago, right after I moved in with them, I saw that it wasn't going to work and I left. I went to my mom's place of business and started sleeping there (a family fun business). I'd been here for about two months when my mom decided that she also wanted to stay here rather than live at my sister's... so she and I stay here, it's not even really a home of any type, just two old ladies living in this shop. My mom cannot stand to have go to my sister's to stay when I go to visit my daughter for a month at a time... but she still will not (would never) "admit" that it is better with me here in these conditions.
For the last three years, this is what my mom has been doing... There have been numerous times that she behind my back will tell my sister and younger brother that I am jealous of them and trying to stir up trouble between the two of them. (I failed to mention that they have barely spoken to each other in a number of years). My mother just wants the two of them to make up to make her life happy once again so she uses me to push them together, etc. And guess what, they know exactly what she's doing but they will not confront her with it... they have been up her butt for so many years that they just say "well she's the only mother we have..." My mom has caused us many periods of time and separation because of the lies she tells them.
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Part 4
Three weeks ago, my brother and his wife were fighting (as usual) and my mom told my brother that she's sure that I am the one behind it, that I've been saying things to his wife. I haven't spoken to my brother in three weeks. I did try to discuss this with him but none of them are EVER able to discuss anything like honest adults. He would not talk to me about it. His wife is furious over this as she knows that I did no such thing as repeat anything to her that would have made her angry with him. She told him that as a matter of fact that she usually gets angry at me because I will give her advice from my own personal experience and advise her not to leave him. All I have done is to let his wife vent to me in hopes that it will relieve some of her tension with him and it usually does work. But now my mom and my brother don't want me speaking to her anymore. Sick sick people they are! I guess three weeks is about long enough for him to go with this because he did try speaking to me today about the weather. I did not respond to him because I am not the type to sweep issues under a rug and forget they happened, not big issues like this. I need an acknowledgement at least from him, admitting that he realizes I would not do this.
I have gossip that they've all slung back and forth, gossip that I've never repeated because it is hurtful and I don't believe in purposefully and needlessly hurting your loved ones feelings.
As I've said... there are so many more things that she has done to me over the years and recently... it doesn't end. She's mean, spiteful, she lies, she's manipulative, she is just an awful awful person!
I would leave if I could but financially I am not able to do so. I am just sitting here all alone with none of them speaking to me while they all (the three of them)sit and visit daily.
While I don't want to say I am so glad to have found this site, I am at least relieved to see that I am not alone. It is very sad that women have children when they so obviously don't know what to do with them.
Thanks for listening!
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I hate my mom because she always finds something she doesn't like about me. If I argue with her, she goes to my dad and makes a huge drama out of the argument. She is a sadistic little bitch that has no life. Because she was a teacher at my old school, she could see my grades (I wasn't doing very well there) and she would make fun of me along with the other teachers. After purposefully failing that school, I moved on to another one (homeshcooling) and that was hell because she could piss me off even more. I hate her so much because she only listens to herself and if she does listen to someone else, she picks out the "rude and insulting words" and then acts all hurt and makes the people apologize for absolutely nothing. One time, I refused to apologize to her and she slapped me so hard that I had to cover the mark up with concealer for a couple of days after that. I can't say anything to my dad because he will automatically side with her and start using all of my words against me. My "mother" always tries to find ways to embarrass me in front of my friends but they always tell me, "she should go and get help" but she never does and I don't think she ever will. I can't wait to get out of there.
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I fucking hate my mom. She is the biggest bitch in my life and I can do so much better without her. She is the most bipolar person I know. She ruined my childhood and made me grow up fast. And I can't help but hate her for it .
Ever since I was a kid, she was abusive. But back then, I didn't know how to defend myself. The only thing I could do is let her hit me..and cry. Then I reached my teen years. That's when I realized how much I hated this bitch. There's one memory from when I was 14 that really stood out and has haunted me for the last couple years. I was 14, on summer vacation. She woke me up by kicking me at 6am to tell me to watch my brother. I said yes. When she left to work I couldn't help but go back to sleep. My cell phone was on silent. She had left me 10 missed calls. I woke up at 10 to her pulling me up by the hair and beating me with a wooden spoon. I was crying, it hurt so much. She called me every bad thing she could and told me she was letting me off easy because she was ready to kill me. She left many bruises on my shoulders and from then on I have never loved her.
She is the worst mother ever. She disguises herself as a sweet mom around others and a cruel bitch to me. She was also very strict, I never really got a good childhood while living with her. And my little brother would get beaten everyday for misbehaving. I think of her as a horrible parent. Not once in my life have a woken up to a "good morning" or has she picked me up from school and asked "how was school" she never told me she loved me. If she wasn't ignoring me, she was beating me. My whole life I wanted a mother who I could talk about my feelings to. That was crucial in my teen years because I had many problems. I was struggling with good grades, a good social life but a horrible mom. Everyone at school wanted to be me...I always seemed happy, but that was a total lie because I was living in hell from home. I want to move far far away. I want to live in a different country so I can raise my kids without them having a witch of a grandmother. I could write a whole novel on how she has mistreated me. But I'm honestly so glad I found this site.

Stay StrongEveryone
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My mom only ever tells me that I WILL be beautiful when I lose the weight..:)
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im reading these and theyre leaving me speechless, ive felt really alone because theres no one ive been able to relate to until now. i keep praying to God, but its hard to not have these hateful feelings towards her being only human. one word i could use to describe her is demon. i can no longer look at her and see my mom. it really hurts my heart to know that i cant even get myself to really respect her as thats what God wants. ever since i met God, ive wanted to reveal his word to her, but shes so far from it that the idea is not even approachable. My Dad and I have a great relationship because of God. He wasnt there my whole life but only due to her crazy..i'm sure you guys understand just what i mean by crazy...so you too could understand why he wasn't. My mother does not have God and im not sure she really wants to, i have a peace that she will never have and i feel she hates that. she hates that my dad and i are so close, but the past is the past. she holds onto the past like no tomorrow and cant forgive and doesnt. she doesnt have trust, communication, forgiveness, peace, nothing. she needs God, only he can truly heal and help her. i just dont know how to reveal his word to her...safely. i struggle with letting God takeover this for me.
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I don't know if I hate my mother, or, if I really dislike her. She normally makes my sisters do all of the choirs. As she sits down all day being brainwashed by Dr. Phil and Opera. The only time she's concern about the family is when there's gossip.
Whenever I try to say something to her she completely ignores it and tries her best to change the subject. I sometimes have to drag her into these conversations just to hear a response from her.
My mother runs away at the first sign of trouble. I, too, have the same tendency only because I've seen her do so much that it is now ingrained into my mind.

I understand to a certain degree that my mother has changed over the years. She's trying to do her best but sometimes her best isn't good enough.

I've been angry at my family for years and I've kept it inside till recently. I've been throwing tantrums at my mother because I wanted to know why did certain things happen within the family. But all she does is tell me to speak to a therapist when I'm trying to talk to my own flesh and blood.

I just don't know. I never had a real relationship with my mother nor my father. They often said that they bought this for me and that for me but they never went up and talked to me.

So, I don't know if I hate them, or, dislike them. My story isn't as dark as some of the others. But it isn't grey either.
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Wow guys..And i thought my mom is bad..Now i realize she is the sweetest person in the world..She has got her ..hmm..oddities..but she is just getting old and..well..i cant blame her..
Kids, i really sympathize with you for everything you beared in your lifes..I hope your moms would change (at least a bit) in a positive way..As, whichever you may turn, moms matter a lot in our lives..thats why i understand yours being hurt so much..

I wish you only the best..Let God bless you and your families..
Good luck..
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Guys, you know,..maybe you should try one thing..Which may help..Of course, I dont know the situations, and i am not the psychologist..but..try some day to come to your mom and say: Hey, I understand you so much..and I love you a lot..Forgive me..
Just try..It would show a lot..Good or bad I wont promise..But it would show..

See ya..
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I am 57 years old; my *Mother* is 82 this month. I still despise that bitch because of the constant abuse. My younger siblings (-10 and -15) keep trying to tell me she is a different woman (bipolar) but I can never ever ever forgive her....
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Last conversation we had and I stupidly said "you gave birth to me" her response was: "no you slithered out". When she dies I really don't think I will be sad... but I know I will cry. Makes no sense.
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Whats wrong with u ?! be gratefull that they give you a home and food and that youre healthy !
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My mother just left after a week-long visit, and I have finally come to the conclusion that I hate her. I am nearly 50, mind you, and always have tried to love her and reach her unattainable levels of perfection. This time started out as usual, with me cleaning the house to perfection, ironing her sheets, etc. etc. She is always nice on the first day, but then things always deteriorate and she becomes abusive. As a child & teenager, I always thought that something was wrong with me, especially since she divorced my father at the age of 13 and always said that I was just like him (I like animals & country music too...haha. aside from that we're actually nothing alike...he was a heavy drinker and never could hold down a job.) So, I knew that I was in for it when we were exploring the beachside and inadvertently came across some stairs. She started yelling like a crazed maniac, stating that I should have planned bett r and that I never plan enough. Then we were on vacation and cocktails were expensive, but I ordered one, because heck, I'm on my once-a-year vacation.. That was the tipping point...she never was civil after that--even yelled at me for being friendly to some old-timer because I interrupted her being able to connect with him. My husband and I are still laughing about that...cockblocking my elderly mother at a ukelele night!

When I was a teenager, I was extremely suicidal and never knew why. My therapist wanted to talk to my mother and she refused. Now as adult, I have found out that she was seriously abused as a child.I feel guilty and sometimes believe that I should feel sorry for her and take care of her in her old age. Now, as I read your posts, I'm not so sure...time to break free, eh?
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Hi im new to the group :-) I hav had problems with my mother 2 . When I was a child I admired her so much because I was brained washed ,when I realized that what she wanted was a puppet I cought hate for her. Shes manipulating selfish bitch. I have told her secrets and she tells everyone shes always comparying herself to me. Calling me a ho and telling everyone how many men I fuckd exageratin the story makin me look bad. Always tellin me ima die soon and that she dont care about me.she would act crasy and hit me until one day she realy got me mad and I hit her back I cant stand her at all. She always plays victem infront of ppl. My friends that met her say shes jelous of me . Her favorite child is my brother if anybody says anything bad about him shel atak. But if its me she dont care. Im tierd of this bitch real talck everything about her I hate.
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Im so glad i found this site i thought it was just me being stupid and immature for disliking my mom. i love her but hate her at the same time, when shes eating near me it annoys me so bad i have to punch something or walk out fast also chewing a bubble drives me insane and when shes yelling!

( i am now 18)

it all started when i was 13 i dated a guy i was completely mad over him we started having sex sometimes we used a condom but other times we didn't he would tell me he didn't cum so i believed him i fell pregnant.. my mom was completely disgusted in me which i dont blame her.. but she would tell me to have a really hot bath and go play on the trampoline.. she demanded that i had to have an abortion but 2 days before i had to go to the place i was having a miscarriage which now i realized why i was having one. but either way my baby was going to be killed :/ but after that we got on ok she used to go on my facebook check everything i did. i got talking to one guy she told me i could? date him but i was never again to have a bf so i stayed with him 1year but i didnt like him :/ my mom kept telling me to stay with him cause SHE liked him :/

since that she did allowed me to start dating guys haha. she knows when im due on my period so if i was late? she would either get a preg test or keep asking me which annoyed me! she still does it no and i am 18. she inconstantly keeps putting me down keeps saying im fat, il never find anyone nice looking cause of how i look. have currently gained a bit of weight but im happy atm.

i dont no if im being to harsh but i cant help but feel so much anger!
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Are you my Brother? Better yet, are you me? Whenever her stupid Husband (a.k.a. my alcoholic, perverted, molesting-ass Step-Dad) rags on her CONSTANTLY...she starts kicking things around and berating everyone about their personality traits/lack of contribution (not me, without me the house would be on "Hoarders", no food and no T.V.)


I have been brutally forced, at the age of 32 to have to move BACK in this treacherous HELLHOLE with this shit AND 3 kids, one of them Diabetic, one is a middle child and only boy and an innocent 1 year old.(middle boy gets constantly abused by my "Brother") and slapped in the mouth today by that Bitch b/c Step Daddy was upset with an electric bill... guess what I paid the SAME GOD AWFUL amount in a 1 bedroom apt. with 2 babies...fuck you, at least I didn't jerk off on them when they were sleeping, or beat them with brooms...or throw combs at their knees while they were trying to eat dinner and make them bleed.

I looove her half-assed apologies if I even get that later on. I HATE that her criticisims bother and hurt me sooo much and I'm so old and STILL can't tell that Bitch and her pedophile "Husband" (whom even SHE can't stand) off. The dreams I have are sometimes debilitaing..it varies between me not being able to physically defend myself against her (no matter the age), living in my 1 bedroom, the best time of my ENTIRE life although I was too poor to feed myself and Jesse Pinkman only b/c I'm marathoning "Breaking Bad" atm.


I have to get up in, like, 3 hours to go stand in a line with this stupid, toxic Bitch with my 3 babies and beg for food so, peace out and pray for me to get my own place and keep it even if it seems like there is no GOD right now.
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I just want to say, I love my mom very much. Sucks to be you guys.
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I did not like my mother. My dad is a wonderful person. When I was 7 and my brother was 5, my mother used to lock us out of the house. She did not feed us. She would leave us alone at a very large park in a big town. One time, she left us alone at a small carnival. The carnival personnel kept asking me when my mother was coming back. I did not know. She had married a man she just knew for one day, and move us about 17 hours drive, away from my grandparents, who took very good care of us. My mother divorced my dad for no reason. Then, she moved in with my grandparents who had a very nice house with a two bedroom apartment upstairs. My Grandparents took care of us while my mother did other things, like dated men, worked some, and went to college. At college, she got into prostitution. I have some of the letters that went back and forth between her and one of her johns, a married man. When I was 11, she married for the 3rd time, and this man sexually abused my 8 year old brother. He slapped me around, and would not allow me to have a birthday party. I have very fun birthday parties at my grandmother's house. My birthday is around Halloween, and we dressed up like we would going out for trick or treat. He was extremely verbally abusive to me, and my mother did not try to stop his abuse. They stole thousands of dollars from my brother and me that my Grandparents had saved for us. I was like a slave. When I was 14, I was forced to work 15 hours a day, 7 days a week in their restaurant and I got paid about 5 cents an hour. My step father would not allow me to practice my clarinet or piano. My grandmother was paying for my piano lessons. He effectively stopped my music education. He said I could not practice because he had to work. He was always complaining about having to work. He finally got SSDI and stopped working in his 40s. When I quit band, they took my clarinet and sold it. I did not get any of the money. Furthermore, I did not want my clarinet sold. My dad had paid for it. It was mine. I hated having conversations with my mother because she would lie and cause a lot of trouble. One time, when I was 19, I rode the bus home from college and a nice and polite boy sat by me with a basket ball and we talked about different things. I liked him, but never saw him again. I told my mother, and she told my step father that this boy had been touching me and trying to do something sexual with me. They called the bus company and made a big deal out of something that never happened. My step father even rode the bus with me the next day. Then, the day after, the bus driver asked me about what happened. I was so embarrassed. I did not want to cause this nice man trouble with his job. I hated my mother for doing that to me. One time, when I was 16, she tried to put me in a group home. My dad jerked custody from her. I am so glad. When I was 15, my mother attacked me and started choking me. My mother wrote me a really nasty letter before I got married. She was telling me what an awful person I was and that no man should want me. I think she should look at herself. Finally, she called social services on me and tried to cause me to lose my son. She then called up my house and cussed out whoever answered the phone. I cut off all contact with her and had the police put it to where if she called me, she would go to jail. She got in trouble for phone harassment. Later, my step father killed himself because he was being taken to court for being a child molester to little boys. My mother died 3 years later, at a young age for my family. I must admit that I was relieved that she died. I was not willing to take care of her and my brother wasn't either. I did take care of my grandfather and would have been more than willing to take care of my grandmother, but she passed away. People would not have liked that fact that my brother and I did not want to take care of our mother. I think that people need to know and realize that some mother's are awful to their children. Look what Andrea Yates did. She killed all of her kids. When my mother died, she disinherited my brother and me, and did not leave any money to come out of her estate to care for her body.
When I told the coroner that my brother did not want to do anything about this, he had a fit. How should my brother feel about a women who allowed him to be sexually molested and stole a lot of money from him? A nice man from my mother's church took up a collection and we got her buried. The man my mother left everything to was not willing to give a penny. I will say that no one person did as much evil to me or brought as much evil into my life as my mother. She had a choice in this. Doing this evil wasn't something she had to do.
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i hate my mother to sometimes i feel like since she married my little sister dad and not mine my mother and step father treat her better it might i think it favoritism it makes me want to punch her but i luv her
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Hearing all these stories makes me really sad and tear up but apart from all the mothers who either abandoned their children or killed them in cold blood mine is definitely the worst. Never has my mom has ever given a single word of encouragement or nice word or even felt sympathy for me while i had been beaten to a pulp by my father, sometimes i wondered if my life had been easier if i had just died. I've literally had blood dripping all over my face from being beaten up and she would just stand there telling me that i deserved it and that i was a fucking bastard over and over again. I don't know what the fuck her problem is i'm pretty sure she is a psychopath and i've had so much abuse and torment to deal with in my life of course i think it is normal to hate a freak and monster like her. Because of her i find it difficult to get along with others and not feel so much hate for everything and everyone and sometimes i really hate myself and everytime i look at a happy family or even a group of people enjoying their normal lives it makes me numb and feel isolated like i'm not even human. There is no hope for people like me it will never get better and nothing can change the past or how i feel about my mother but i hope it makes everyone else feel like there are not alone.
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I'm 22 years old and I do hate my mother too, since I was younger. I feel bad about it, but I can't stand her.
We can't live together in peace, we're always discussing and saying horrible things to each other. I lived six months out of my parents house and it was the happiest time of my life.
I live with my parents and my two sisters, but everybody hate each other in my house. I hate my father too, we almost don't talk. My mother says I'm abnormal because I don't believe her religion and I don't wanna go to church. She doesn't have friends or a social life, she doesn't work or go out. She calls me whore because I'm not virgin anymore. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, she said to him that he deserved something better [She didn't know the reasons we broke up, he was a fucking lier].
Well, soon I'll leave this town, I intend so. After graduating from university, find a job in other place far from here. My family wishes this too.

I'm never having children, or getting a marriage, I'm afraid to be a bad mother and don't understand a son. I can't trust men anymore. My Dad is a lier, my ex-boyfriend is a big lier.
Freedom out of here and getting a job are the only thing that matters now.
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I think i hate my mum or not like her. She doesn't like me much that i know. Since i was a little kid she was always putting me down telling me i'm getting fat because i am not as skinny as her. She doesn't talk, she screams and complains and tells us how her life sucks and we are the reason. When i was little she used to hit us if we made noise or fought or did something she didn't agree on like once when i was small i was wiping the dishes and i dropped one and she screamed at me and told me i was so careless and threw a mug at me. I also once tried to help her clean the floor and used to much water(i was six) and even now i'm seventeen she still goes on about it. When i was eleven i really didn't want to go to a christain group meeting as there where theses girls who where really mean, she screamed at me and than chased me outside and i was so scared i ran into some fields and fell and cut open my hand and she blames me for it. She told my dad when he was taking me to the hospital i deserved it. She wasn't even sorry. She's always going on about my dad how she doesn't love him and how she has to do everything we do everything she's working she comes home and sleeps. Sometimes i come home from school and she starts screaming at me that i'm laxy and useless. She's always insulting my friends and i have stopped being friends with people because of her. she doesn't hug me or help me when i have problems she never listenes to me its like i am not there except when she needs someone to shout out. But than there are rare moments when i think maybe she isn't so bad and i try to make her like me but they're so rare. On my graduation day i was the only person who's parents didn't turn up. At least my dad had the excuse that he was working, My mum didn't come because she didn't feel like. And today for example i ditched school because of her i have an agreement with my sister that i can borrow clothes from her and my mum offered to give me a lift to school becasue i missed the bus and it's far away it was cold and i took a coat from my sisters cupboard and she was in a bad mood so she came up to me and screamed to me to take the jacket off so i did i didn't wnat trouble and than she screamed at me that we where late and i smiled and she hit me on the head and left me at home. I'm seventeen she can't threat me like this anymore i'm not a little kid who will just let her hit me. Well i think i hate her. I definitly don't like her
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thanks for this topic
I also hate my mother so much I'm in my30..
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@OutOfMyMind:

I have a mother like this too. She's a crazy bitch, who apparently can do no wrong. She's manipulative, vain, selfish, a hypocrite, a liar, she's ALWAYS right, I'm wrong, I can NEVER say anything. She never knew how to treat and respect me as a person, and as her daughter. It's very frustrating to be told, and to be treated as if you don't matter. I only realized until later on that she is someone who suffers from NPD. Doesn't change the fact that she wronged you. She had emotionally beat me down so much so that I got depressed. Hang in there, when you leave, you will feel so much better.
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I'm 26. I'm my mother's only son. I hate her, I can't stand her. My dad divorced her when I was two years old (she was like 21, he was like 25), after three years of marriage. When I was little, my mother always dropped me off either at my grandparents' house, or forced my dad to take care of me (I'm not too fond of my dad either). Sometimes she made me stay in the car at night while she was partying, at a bar, or in a date. Once, I woke up a New Year's Day inside the car, locked up. When I was like eight years old, my dad started seeing her again, just to fuck her, and he mistakenly took her car keys, and she thought that I lost them, and she beat me, she slammed me against the furniture. She always made me go buy rum and cigarettes for her, she treated me as her butler or servant. She always bought nice things for her, the ones who took care of me were her parents, they're angels. One time, when I was like seven, the pipe under the sink burst, and she made she sit there with a cork, holding it so she could take a shower, and I couldn´t hold it, and she went downstairs, yelling to me that she was going to kill me, I was terribly scared, I ran and hid in a corner outside the house. When she had arguments with her dad because of work, she came crying saying that she wanted to kill herself. She came out as a lesbian when I was 14, and when I was 17 she kept saying that she hated all men, and she hated me. But she was always then taking back her words saying that I was the light in her life. When my grandma died, we were all hit by her death, I couldn't handle the stress she caused me and I started cutting myself, then my grandparents took me to a therapist cuz I had depressive and anxiety disorder. During that time, her lover lived with us, and my mother lost her purse under the covers of her bed, and I left to go to class at the University, and she started telling me that she was gonna call the cops and have me arrested, and she never apologized eventhough she found her purse five minutes later. I overcame that stage (depression/anxiety), I'm a mechanical engineer and I don't wish anyone to have to go through what I have been through. A few days ago, after christmas, I left my keys inside my car, and she bursted in rage again, started throwing stuff, calling me stupid and useless, and I thought she had changed.

I needed to vent...
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If you are bothered by the fact that you think you hate your mother I have good news. Dig deeper and you will discover you are angry beyond imagination with this person. Your anger may have built up over many years. You may be so angry and also carry such great sadness within you that you may never find out whether you love your mother or not.
When you realise this is anger, not hate, you will feel less guilty and be able to start sorting out your issues and feelings.
I hope this helps someone.
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I am amazed at how many people here have experienced what I experienced as a child. It is scary to see how many details are the same from story to story. I am in my 50s and, sadly, still dealing with the repercussions of my mothers parenting. For you young folks out there: take care of yourselves, don't let the evil woman who raised you determine the course of the rest of your lives, and, most of all, don't avoid parenting yourselves because you fear you will repeat history. The "gift" your mother gave you was a precise outline of how NOT to parent. Make good use of that "gift." Parenting can be a peaceful and enormously fun journey. Just takes a little love.
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First, I am so incredibly sorry to all the people here. To answer whether hating your mother is normal or not, it is. However, there is a deep, unmovable hate that a lot of people on here seem to hold, and that as well as your mothers' actions causing it are most definitely NOT NORMAL. It is absolutely NOT OK and and I want to go over to every single one of your houses and give some bitches a slap in the face. I am so sorry. Some parents should not have been given the authority to take care of another creature, especially if they can't even handle themselves.
To share my story (although it's not nearly as bad as most people's here), my mother is a two faced, self-righteous, pity seeking bitch. What kills me though is that she actually loves me. She loves me, and she cares for me. Occasionally she breaks down and apologizes for her being a terrible mother but at this point I've learned not to trust it because she'll switch to an angry bitter old woman in a flash.
She had a hard, terrible life, and that I understand.
But she needs to realize that because of that, she is not being a good mother or a good person. Or at least fucking own up to it. Whenever she speaks to me, she says everything back and repeats it as though what I had said was wrong, tells me and blames me for her not loving my father and their arguments, pushes my buttons during arguments to hurt me in the most effective way possible by saying "That's why he broke up with you" "I understand why she doesn't like you" "I understand why they said those things" that I was only forced into telling her in the first place even though I knew she would later use it against me, I *OWED HER*. She calls me a freak, a loser, someone with no friends, and repeatedly brings up past incidents that happened when I was 5 and brings up how various children didn't like me.
She yells at me consistently for being very lazy even though I'm trying my best in an accelerated program with a mother like her. While all she does is sit on her computer all day, rarely going out to see "friends" (who I've found out to be her counselour, and I suspect some are dates she's finding to cheat on my dad) (and of course she has no friends because they all find out soon enough how big of a judgmental bitch she is). All she ever does is complain about how jealous other women are of her and points out everyone else's flaws.
Fuck.
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Here's another one!

I used to love my mom, more than anything actually. I looked up to her, and I really really loved her. But, as I grew up, I came to realize that her expectations for me were too high. She always compared me to everyone, and when I didn't score high enough on a test, or got the lead in a play or something, she'd always tell me how much of a disappointment I was. She would tell me these things when I was young, but I didn't take it as hard then as I do now because all I wanted to do was please her. At some point I realized that I needed to be me, and not do what she wanted me to do. Verbal abuse isn't the only punishment I received; my mom also punches, pulls my hair, and when I was younger, she used to beat me with a belt. I'm 18 years old now and the reason I'm writing this is because it was never as bad as it's been the last couple of months, or maybe even the last year. I feel like whenever she feels that I'm gaining too much freedom, she reminds me that I'm always going to be under her control. Most of our problems stem from the fact that I don't take shit from her anymore. Whenever she bitches about something, I usually talk back to her. I know it's bad, and it upsets my dad (the only sane one in the house), but holding my tongue infuriates me even more. I hate how she loves blaming everyone else for her mistakes. She's a stay at home mom, and I'm a senior at a performing arts school ( which if you know anything about being at an art school, is very demanding), and have a part time job. Yet, she still manages to say that I'm useless and that I won't amount to anything. Whenever I'm out with my friends, she won't stop calling me, or texting me or yelling at me to come home. Oh, the yelling. Yelling is like normal volume for her when she's trying to tell me something. And what I hate even more is that she's so snobby, thinks she's better than anyone else, she's a know-it-all and she's starting to treat my 9 year old brother just how she treats me. I'm sick and tired of her. A day that I go without talking to her is a blessing. What I hate even more is that I'm choosing to stay at home for another two years. I'm really growing to hate her. I feel horrible for it, because I know my dad sees it too. But I just detest her. Oh, did I mention she gave my cats away without even telling me? She's the devil in disguise! This is only about a fourth of why I hate her so much. I'd be writing a book if I were to explain everything in detail.
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I hated my mother most of my life. She and my father abused me and for years in my teens, I walked around bruised most of the time from her beatings. I was 2 months premature and had to remain in the hospital, so maybe this is why my mother never bonded with me. I would spend hours in the town library just trying to stay away from her beatings. She put me through a wall in our house. She told me when I was a child that she owed me nothing, that if I needed a ride home from school, I should find it on my own. She told me her husband came first and that it said so in the Bible. When her mean sister insulted me one day, I cried and my mother beat me to a pulp for crying and embarassing her.
I got a divorce while I was pregnant and my mother beat me while I was pregnant to the point I had to be hospitalized. She told me I was an embarassment to her because no one else in the family had ever been divorced.
On holidays when I was a child, there were gifts for the children of her friends, but not many for me. As a single mother, I worked a full time job as well as multiple part time ones and even bought my mother's groceries since she had no money to buy them herself. She told me a few weeks before she got sick and died of cancer, that I was a complete and total failure and even when dying, she never apologized to me.
The worst thing she did though was to tell my young daughter that I was mean and crazy and had been no good since I was born. There are just no words for me to explain how much I hated her and I sat with her while she was on her deathbed and was there when she passed. My feeling today is that she was very mentally ill most of her life, if not all of it. I hated everything she stood for. One night when I was a teen, I was out with friends for the evening but I got a sore throat so came home early. My parents were having sex and they beat me for coming home early.
I feel so angry that I got stuck with a mother like her. She made my life hell and full of chaos.
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Part I

Hello to everyone. It saddens me to read all of your stories and how many of you have had to deal with such terrible circumstances. I sincerely hope things will improve and that happier times are ahead sooner rather than later.

I think I am quite different than most posters here in that my mother is not a terrible person at all. I would not say she is a great mother even though she raised me single-handedly in spite of having been through plenty of emotional hardship in her life. Yet despite this, I harbour a burning resentment towards her. So much so that I sought out this forum lol. What I would like to know is if my sentiments are normal or not?

I will commence with the positives. My mother has literally sacrificed her life for me. I had a top-class education and she ensured she had the financial means to provide me with luxuries such as buying the occasional nice thing and trips abroad. She cares about me very much and the feeling is mutual.

She is extremely unflinching in her beliefs, which are very conservative to say the least. Whenever I did something she did not approve of, she makes it well known and either constantly harasses me about it or completely blows up even if I do the slightest thing to upset her. This has gone on since I was a child and as a result, I am extremely secretive around her and cannot be myself at all. I have to be a different person whenever I am with her. She thinks I am constantly attacking her even when I had no intention to do so which makes it very difficult.
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Part II

She is not well. She underwent major cardiac surgery and is very physically weak as a consequence. She could go any time as a result of a heart attack or stroke. I try my best to avoid conflict (admittedly I give in sometimes), yet whenever she wants to "win", she always plays the "you're responsible for my imminent death" card. She blames me for making her sick and that I am the one who is killing her. This type of emotional blackmail infuriates me, especially when she brings this up over very small issues (for example, she thinks I did not bring out the tray after dinner just to spite her but I had just simply forgotten, and as a result, plays the death card, just like that). This happens almost every time we have a disagreement and to hear it so often just makes me seethe with rage instead of feel sorry for her. Whenever I talk to her, I feel like I am treading on glass because I know that something I say will anger her and she'll blame me for "killing" her again. For even the smallest misdemeanour (even when I believe I have not done ANYTHING wrong), she unleashes an arsenal of all the things she could possibly say to hurt me the most. We are polar opposites of each other in terms of personality which makes the attacks occur very frequently.

I have said some horrible things to her and done bad things to her too. Recently she said she wouldn't let me kill her because she still has things to live for, and to that I responded, "like what? All you do is make yourself miserable anyway." But I honestly do not think my behaviour is enough to justify the things she says to me. I may make mistakes and sometimes I may be a bit rude to her, but generally I do what she says, try to be nice to her, spend time with her, try to make her happy. I am far from constantly rebelling but she seems to think I am just because I'm not exactly how she wants me to be. Most of the time I understand why she is like that and where she is coming from but not so much why she makes things out to be 1000x more severe than they actually are.

I don't have any siblings and my parents divorce when i was 2 so it really is just me and her, a situation that I find incredibly suffocating and claustrophobic. I basically don't have anyone on my side because her word is always final. When I was 16, I went through a deep depression. I had no one to talk to about my depression so I brought it up with her. She told me that I was a spoiled brat and that I should be lucky I even had the luxury to be depressed. After that I overdosed and had to be brought to the hospital because she found my lying unconscious on the floor, I had fallen before I could die unnoticed in my own bed. Things are better now but it has left a deep cut that taints my view of her to this day.

Currently the biggest problem between us is my boyfriend. He is of Indian descent, which she hates, because to her Indian people are scum. I have just started working and as such, I cannot afford my own place. I would get one if I could. But since I still live with her, she says I am subject to her rules. Fair enough, but her reasons for disallowing me to see him are more than unreasonable. We agreed that I can see him once a week for five hours (I am 24 btw!!), a condition which I stick to. Yet we STILL fight about it. She keeps going against her word and says I have to come back earlier even though it's less than the 5 allotted hours. If he was not Indian, she'd ask me to marry him; he has a great job, is extremely kind, and very smart. Whenever I bring him up, she just barrages me with hurtful insults. I have fought her back a lot about this since I don't think someone's race should be a factor in whether or not I associate with them. It just infuriates me because she doesn't HAVE to be upset about it but this, like everything else, she insists on making a big issue. She thinks the boyfriend is the cause of the problem but it is really just her and her unnecessary reactions to it. She tries to control me as much as possible in many other aspects.

I resent her greatly and oftentimes have a scorching hatred towards her because of the reasons I've just listed and more, which I would enumerate if my post was not so long already! I also resent her because she never seemed to care about my emotional development; all she cared about was if I went to good schools, got good grades, so that I can get a good job and marry a rich man from a good family. Although I'm a lot better now and keep trying to improve, I'm still pretty emotionally immature and unstable.

I know my experience is not nearly as bad as most of yours. I will be very grateful to anyone who has the patience to read this and who might be able to tell me if I am the problem or if it is okay for me to feel so much hate for her. I've sometimes had violent thoughts about her but I do still love her, I just don't know if her actions justify how I feel and if I'm really the one at fault. Thank you very much in advance.
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I guess it is not abnormal for people to feel this way after all. I am in my late 40's. I left my homeland 23 years ago, trying to put distance between my mother and me. Growing up as an only child meant that my mother smothered me. My parents divorced when I was 9. I realized she loves me and did many sacrifices to raise me. However, she always found ways to make me feel insecure on my own. She was a young mother; in my teens, people thought we were sisters, which should have worked to our advantage, but to the contrary. She was mean,. Did not seem to want to understand the things most girls go through. She remarried, and in my early 20's I had the chance to move away. Having a long distance relationship with my mother was the best thing ever. However, her husband died. Now 70, she sold her house and moved to where I live. I thought after all these years things would be different. But now she is worst. She is still in pretty good shape. But acts as if she was decrepit. I refuse to let her disrupt my life. She claims she wanted to come here to help me with my children-help I don't need or asked for. But instead, she has come to disrupt my life, to add more work and stress and totally mess up with my peace. I left home to run away from her!!! Yes, I feel bad sometimes for feeling this way. But those times are less. She is never satisfied. She asks for "favors" that turn into demands. I took the day off the other day so she could have surgery on her toe, but now she cant do anything on her own. I went and did grocery shopping for her the other day, and always have something to complain about. Doesn't respect my time and space. I have told her every way possible that being my mother does not give her the right to invade my space, time and life. I am about to tell her to pack her boxes and move back home. These days I just stay away from her. It is not like before when she would come and visit and I knew she would go back home. Now I wonder when is this going to end, if ever.
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Yes...it is normal in your situation to feel the way you do. I had the very same problem but my mom really was cruel. I had to leave home young and find my way. Now I've been married for over 25 years and have 3 grown kids of my own. ;o) Trust me.. I didn’t think I would ever have a normal life either. It will happen for you to. Some of us just can't live with our parents for obvious reasons...The reasons don't always matter but the outcome is all yours. You will find yourself and make a life. I am happy to tell you even though I don't really and never will feel close to my mom, I have had to except her for who she is. My brother can’t do this however. She now counts on me for many things.. so the table has turned so to speak. ;o) Find peace within yourself. You will do this by carefully selecting the people you keep close to you. Find someone that makes you happy, take up hobbies and get more in tuned with nature. Your spouse or close friend will help you deal with your personal problems as well. ;o) Don't hesitate to talk to a professional if you have a problem or concerns about controlling your anger. I found Tai Chi and a couple of other forms of martial arts extremely helpful along with Yoga and meditation. It’s ok to be upset it’s how we act while processing the information that is the important thing. Throwing things only causes you more work later and doesn’t solve anything. It isn’t an easy task but YOU can do it! Hope this helps a little. There are so many of us that grew up in dysfunctional homes but have perfectly normal lives because we never gave up and refused to let it steal our lives away. You sound strong willed like me so you will be fine. It’s the timid in nature that suffers more. They need extra help from people like us.
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I dont hate my mother but she seriously is a bitch she thinks that everything is so hard cause she got divorced and we had to move to a apartment I am just a 13 year old just wanting to feel not alone but whenever I talk with friends I get fire inside of me and talk rude to her and my friends say that I should stop which makes me feel lonely the worst of her is that she gets drunk all the time.One time I was thirsty so I went to the kitchen for water at the night I stepped on a huge piece of broken glass and had to jump out of the kitchen and had to sleep with a bleeding foot and dehydrated for hours she always does the most stupidest decisions instults me doesnt even think of what she said and thinks shes correct and blames everything on my father that techniccaly doesnt exist many of my friends are already becoming adults and have no problems whatsoever onlike my horrible mum she finds me useless even though I work hard and everything and cause I now fight her and when she trys to stop me from staying up all night cause she made me angry I have to push her and fight her she doesnt even care of how hard my life is I have wanted to kill my self so much but also want to continue my life she does not care how hard it is for me she just says it but she at the end she is a asshole
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This is normal. Lots of people hate their mothers, sometimes without even any rational reason for it, especially girls in their adolescence.

It gets better when you don't live in the same house and can go visit for just short periods at a time. Too much contact with anyone can make you not like them.
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You really didn't describe her looks or body. Just think, when your friends come over, they all are smiling, but are thinking "God, I'd love to fuck you." When I was a horny kid, I wanted to fuck everyone's mom. I used to fantasize about all the kinky things I would do to Ms. Cook. Maybe guys are going home and jerking off to your moms ass.
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So relieved to see that I am not alone. I hate my mother, and have since I was 10 or so. She has a manipulative, sneaky way of making me hate myself. I think because of her I am so insecure and doubtful of my abilities. When my brother and I were in elementary school, she would make us stay home from school to help her move or clean the garage. She would yell at us for cleaning "half ass" while she was just sitting there. Now I am 22 and never get along with her. Everything she does or says, even her mannerisms, utterly annoy me. She always plays the victim and is always making me look like a horrible person in comparison to her. We always fight and often it is her who began the usually trivial argument, but she always makes me feel like I am an asshole who just can't get along with people.
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I hate my mom too. I think I hated her since I was little. She always says negative things about me and my life. I tell her that's not the way I am but she just can't help herself blaming for everything. I'm not good with my older brother who hit my nose and I had to get my a nose job. She always tells me I deserved it. How can I not hate her? I sometimes feel like it's not normal to hate my own mom and think about my life what went long. I wish I can just escape from all the situations around me and my family. Hardest thing is this resentment that maybe I'm wrong to hate my own mother. I think I can be happier without her. I don't know what to do. I hate to feel that maybe I'm really the wrong one.
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This page is AMAZING!!! My mother is so critical and acts as if she's so perfect. She sits on her ass all day watching TV and playing on her iphone and ipad. Then she goes and asks ME to do chores! Why can't she do them since I have school and work and she has, well... nothing??
She's really overweight and she used to complain loads about how she needed to loose weight. So I would invite her to come exercise with me. 90% of the time she said no. The other 10% she would workout for 10 minutes, then claim she couldn't do anymore. Well lady, you're not going to loose that weight if you don't work for it so stop being lazy and do something about it!
I have some mental health issues. I swear the only time we talk anymore, she's bringing up how I need help. Because going to therapy and group every week aren't good enough. She actually said something about me being depressed the other day. I asked her why she thinks I'm depressed. She said because I'm always hurting. Yes, that's normal, and doesn't mean I'm depressed. Maybe if she could get off her ass and show some interest in me and my life, she would know that I'm fine. For example, I've asked her a million times to come watch me ride my horse. "This is my only day this week to stay home", "I have to clean house", "It's too early". Then recently her excuse was "It's a horse, I've seen you ride a horse". Well obviously you don't pay ANY attention when I'm talking about my horse because that's when I'm happy! But she can't take the time out of her busy day of watching TV to come see that.
One time I tried to kill myself while I was out of town so I got taken to an out of network hospital. Insurance didn't want to pay all of the costs because it was out of network. She started complaining to me about the charges. Ok mother, next time I won't take myself to a hospital because that's too expensive for you and must those costs must be more than my life is worth to you. Load of bull...
When I was in high school and trying to find a job she told me "Your friend went in every week for 3 or 4 months until she got her job". Great, well too dang bad for you because I'm not her! Way to make me feel like I'm not good enough and that you'd rather have her as your kid.
The last time I was seriously upset/pissed/depressed about something, she came in and said "blah blah I'm here if you need me, you need to take care of these dishes". What the eff woman??!?! She does this ALL the time! If I'm upset about something, she makes herself sound so heartless by telling me to do chores! But those chores always come before me or anything I need to do.
One time I told her I couldn't clean up cat barf because I would throw up if I tried to clean it, she got mad at me for saying that I can't do something. Pretty sure that me standing up for myself should command respect.
So currently I'm suffering through it trying to go to school and work and hide in my room as much as possible. I have 2 years left of school which equals to 2 more years at her house. I'm debating running off with this guy I met online because I can't stand it here.
Oh, and her laugh is awful and she has fat, ugly feet.
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You're probably not going to like this, but from how you described everything there's a good chance you're sexually attracted to her and have no clue how to deal with it. Same thing happened to me in my early-mid 20s, as well as thousands of other guys around the planet. If this is the case, I know it's one helluva an uncomfortable thing to accept and deal with. But you need to do it ASAP. Or that rage and resentment will continue to grow and eat you from within.
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Well All of your Comments make sense but mine is worst,my mum always nag at me to do more homework like 50 pages a day! Anyways when my iPhone or mobile phone was jam I wanted to use the computer she scolded me and to make matter more worst my mother wanted me to do a lot of homework and I can't even exchange my phone playing time to the computer playing time.It is not fair if you got any good comments help pls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wow...

Since I've been here I've never found a post that had more long posts than this one. And almost every one of them is from a crybaby whiny bitch. "I hate my mother".

Your mother gave birth to you you ungrateful ingrate. I wish she hadn't based on how you act, but she did.

What is it with women hating their mothers? What is it with women hating other women? You talk about men being bad? You're disgraceful, the whole lot of you.

Lol.
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I've not had time to read every post on here, but, very briefly, my own mother was, and is, a controlling monster, never allowing any opinions air except hers. She almost single-handedly destroyed my sister and harassed her into a mental institution; even then, at a preliminary interview with a psychiatrist my sister was pressured into saying she enjoyed living with my mother and that they did the housework together, which was complete fabrication. My sister only had one friend and every time this friend called for her, the friend was never allowed into the house once and my sister's attire was checked every single time before she went out and if she wore shortish skirts or hot-pants, was made to change. She was never once allowed to touch the television or radio, never allowed to cook once. Even my weak father joined in sometimes, going upstairs and deliberately stamping around in her room, causing my sister (a sensitive teenager at the time) to run upstairs shouting at him. Despite my attempts to tell them to lay off, it just continued. I found myself, after splitting up with my partner recently, having to return home for a while. Now in her eighties, my mother won't allow me to open any windows, have a bath (I managed to talk her into letting me have two a week now) or cook. I cooked last night for instance and she went all around the kitchen looking closely at the surfaces, inside the oven, under the table where I ate and said I had to leave. There is so much more, but no room here. My sister now lives alone, has never had a boyfriend, never made love with another human being and has never held down a job. I have been luckier, wasn't bullied so much. Although my relationship broke down it wasn't because of any kind of mutual abuse. I learned (hopefully) what it is to have emotional intelligence and to value other human beings for their uniqueness and to allow them to flower and be the people they want to be. I actually recoil when my mother walks into the room.
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I think everyone has a parent they are closer too. I am not so close with a member of my family, and no matter how much they annoy me, I just think, they won't be here forever and sometime you just have to just get on with it.

My parents are lovely, but their will always be one that you don't get on with as much. I guess its normal?
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I found this site to reach out for support. I feel everyone s comments, yes, but it is sad to say things like this about a MOTHER. I have a daughter who I love and it is hard raising her by myself, she done nothing wrong. It's just a lot of work to all at same time. It take teaching, loving, discipline, nurture, caring....etc.. I have to agree with most, my own mother is a evil ugly and bitter bitch. I think how can a woman be so mean to the core for no reason at all. she doesn't want to see my child, my child suffers because of her negative attitude. I choose not to be around her because she is negative. Negative is ugly. she won't change. She just always been that way and talks negative about everyone else. I can't imagine being hateful towards someone for no reason. Now my child, kids will be kids and my child works my nerves but I don't hate her. She is a joy. BIG DIFFERENCE TO ME. but my mother,...wow.....makes no sense at all. I hate my mother too.
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Hey guys. I'm new here and so thankful that a place like this exists in a world where the child is always wrong and the parent is always right.
I am 21 years old and so frustrated with my psychotic mother I feel as if I am going to burst. I spent so many years of my life crying myself to sleep and wishing I could just die due to her abuse.

I finally confronted her today and told her she's an unfit mother who would drive a child to suicide and she told me I am the one with issues! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I am unemployed at the moment and she was paying for my studies while I stay with a relative. She used the fact that she paid for my studies to control me and I told her I had enough of her shit. I don't want her money and she should just get out of my life. As you can imagine she phoned the person I live with and complained about me. I don't even know how I'm going to survive but I'd rather starve than depend on her.

My mother is such a psychotic bitch I don't know where to even start that's why I can't even describe her behavior too you. All I can say is that I hate her, she disgusts me and I sympathize with every single one of you who has been hurt by the woman who was supposed to protect and love you.
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I am 42, & mum died near 2yrs ago, at just 58..a result of her addictions & no care factor, im the middle, too serious mother mcReedy stress head of us 3, the other 2, had the looks like mum, so where favoured for their popularity..which suited mum for all her needs, sexual, finance, broke losers that would live with us, she hated being alone... Yes my siblings provided a life time of people they knew or met that could be just who mummy needed...I did the opposite.. If she was fucking some one in her room, I would go crazy to stop her, kicking at the door til she had to stop me, then I would escape..or even climbing in her window to let her know that I knew what she was up to, and she was just a dirty cheap slut!! Then off I went to avoid her attack back..and to be ready to be in my hiddy spot for hrs cause of how long she would look for me would depend on how far I went this time...some days I wouldn't go home till daybreak..just to resupply myself...lol...some events would be so explosive, like her sucking my best friends mums husbands penis, after he knew her only for a day, cause I told him my mum needs a man to fix her car, that she would pay. In one day, she shattered
a family, destroyed my only friendship, and moved him in, without a drop of guilt or conscience...once we had a 'dad' that treated us like gold, mum had money, we had it made..till she decided one day at 7 mths pregnant that she was sick of being at home while he got to work all the time!! And hated the thought of the baby tying her down more, so while he was at work,she visited a Dr she used to have a sexual, fraud, & financial relationship with, and got him to bring on labour,and she delivered in hrs, a baby that she didn't even wait around long enough to see if it survived or the sex!! But moaned about having to cross a highway in full labour to reach the hospital in time, cause an ambulance would be too late, she was ready.when we got off the bus, dad waved as he drove away..we thought he had to work an extra shift, but in the house, was proof of his reaction to my mums evil act, he had smashed & upturned ever bit of furniture...we were confused..(we didn't know what mum did, & she wasn't home) and terrified!!! We saw a shoe sticking out of a pile & thought it was mums body and ran to our neighbors to call the police...that's just one many many things my mother did that destroyed us and our kind dad, was gone,we began to expect change by then...cause our last dad was gone, & it was decided then that we shouldn't become attached and get our hopes up that this is really the last new dad & we will stay a happy stable family like on tele...to be continued....
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I hate my mother because all she buys for food is fucking yogurt, ice cream,and reduced fat milk. I could and would get over it if it weren't for her stupidity, weight, the way she walks, and just about everything. all she does is draw in her room all expecting to be left alone all day, and if anyone interrupts her she yells to them to leave her alone and calls them needy. She also takes offense to EVERYTHING anyone says,she can insult anyone she wants but as soon as anybody else calls her dog fat and or lazy she yells like a midget who just put a toothpick in their nail and kicked the wall. It's been like this my entire life and my friend's mothers are not like this they're nice,open-minded,and buys shit other than ice cream and reduced fat milk. She also complains about all the housework she does not do and i complain about it becuase she's not doing it which would explain why thier are spiders on the bathroom floor flies and ants on the walls everywhere else. The only person i have to thanks for me not starving to death ( maybe a small exaggeration) is my father.
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How did I find this forum ? I Googled "fear of mother" but nothing interesting came up. Then I Googled "mother hate" and found this. Nobody here is talking about fearing mother but I think that behind all hatred lies fear. If you solve your fear you have solved your hatred. This is coming from me, a 45 year old guy who has been haunted and exploring my mother issues for the past 20 years. Psychology, religions, spirituality, healing, you name it.

I haven't called my mother in about 20 years. She calls once 2 weeks and invites for dinner. My dad is almost invisible there in the background. I go to dinner but I hate it. I think the main issue with my mom is money - she is insanely stingy. I need to call my mother and ask her about something but I am afraid. I feel this fear as a form of pain in the pit of my stomach. My mother has tantrums. She can explode
into a fit when issues of money come up and as a child I was terrorized by it, a terror which continues to this day.

I live alone for many years. A good looking guy but emotionally paralyzed and unable to have a relationship. My heart goes out to all you people out there with these mother problems. But let me tell you, I have not given up, I will keep fighting to find a way to live like a normal human being.
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In our youth, little girls are enchanted by the prospect of happily ever after and allured by the prospect of becoming a Wife and Mother. Being raised with Christian values and morals mixed with our god given instincts as a female, this dream and vision is as natural and alluring as breathing for many.

But one of the many things that we are not prepared for is how deep our love is and how powerful that our god given protection instincts are once we give birth to a beautiful Baby. It is hands down the most “pure” time in any Relationship that brings an incredibly powerful sense of bond and eternal bliss.

What we are not prepared for is the results of such a “pure” love. I said, “pure” love not a perfect love. Like the old adage, they don’t come with instructions, but none-the-less, my Husband and I took our responsibility very serious and WHOLE HEARTEDLY (profoundly love him).

Our oldest was very easy and we were a very close family unit and very close external family unit until around the age of 13 when we could clearly see that the “dark side” was trying to steal our Son’s heart and soul. Like any Parents that are trying to do the right thing, we were very involved (in protective mode) and held our Son “accountable” after each call from Retailers and his Employer for stealing, to getting his high school girlfriend Pregnant his Senior year (after hundreds of talks on the subject. i.e. protection) it was one problem after another. Every time the phone rang from the age of 13-18, we would just cringe and look at each other with, what now? It was exhausting. It was perpetual groundings, perpetual talks of coaching, mentoring and guidance all in hopes of trying to make a difference in his life and to our fault, “we always bailed him out”. But our deep love for him has never wavered.

A now 24 year old married and grown young Man that can “function” on his own (with help from his wife) only to grow up to label our Parenting and the accountability for his actions and choices as a complete depletion of his self- worth, self- esteem and self- value and social dysfunction as null thanks to us. Oh he and his Wife come over for their obligatory Holiday and Birthday visits watching their Watches the entire time and we are grateful for the bread crumbs of time that we get to spend with them and our adored Grandchild.

Meanwhile, I have been trapped in this perpetual state of assuming all of the blame and responsibility. It has to be our fault. What did we do wrong? Were we to strict? Not strict enough through spoiling (yes, we did over indulge his desires for material things growing up)? Yes, I was very involved during all of this, but with all of the perpetual red flags, I thought that I was supposed to. All I wanted was to make a difference and save him from the dark side. I would gladly assume all of the fault and responsibility to fix this, but his anger and hate runs too deep and he is trapped in a narcissistic state of it is always someone else’s fault in his life which has rendered him borderline socially in-ept.

This once bubbly, type-a, very social, strong and friendly gal is broken. Raising him and trying to settle and digest the results has broken me and I have become a former shell of myself. Day-in and day-out just trying to get through each day like a Robot, go to work, prepare meals, clean our home and force a smile when someone does visit us is as good as it gets all though I prefer to be alone as much as possible.

Fortunately we have normal and healthy relationship with our other grown Son.
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With me it's not so much that my mum is a bitch. It's more that I just find her extremely cringeworthy and quite ugly. Just a hideous, boney old hag. She's also an obnoxious Christian hippie and is EXTREMELY lame and uncool, and I cringe at pretty much EVERYTHING she fucking says and does, it's just SO FUCKING LAME, PLEASE STOP!!! To make things worse I am her only child. I am absolutely HORRIFIED to think that I came from her vagina.
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I grew up in a culture that greatly respects my parents, so I feel guilty in writing this, but I have to. Otherwise, I'll be saying this to her face.

Until I was in Grade 11, I had the filial obligatory affection for my mother. However, when I became Grade 12, I began to 'hear' her, likely from the interpretive fiction that I was subjected to. Then I began to notice her flaws.

Firstly, she treats me like I was fucking retard. I average 95% in school with science courses as well as other arts courses, thank you. Yet she feels fit to repeat something that someone else said to ME, as if her words are the only things I can comprehend. I have ears too, isn't that cool? She also has zero respect for my opinion and keeps saying that she is older, thus wiser. From my point of view, a hundred years of knowing nothing is far less wise than a year of studious concentration. She insults my intelligence by treating me like a fucking kindergartner by making me to menial tasks for minor problems. When I first began to drive, she literally wanted to have me to practice pressing on the goddamn brakes. I passed my road test on my first try, yet she thinks that I have no eyes. When I put on a right turn signal, she says 'turn right.' Holy shit, I have to turn right? Why the fuck would I put on a right turn signal if I wasn't going to turn fucking right? One time when I snapped at her in sarcasm when she persisted that I wore high quality clothes over normal ones to a goddamn tutor session (I asked her if I was to go to sleep in a tuxedo), the aftermath nearly had me go for a knife. After 'lecturing' me about the evils that I have committed, she said that I should change my clothes to better ones. Then she mockingly said "Now trying saying 'Okay mom, I'll do it' to me." I'm impressed that I didn't spit another sarcastic reply, I just said no thanks and bailed the fuck out before I punched someone.

Secondly, she's repetitive as fuck. Even while I'm studying, she says overused phrases like "Universities are hard," "Study because it's good for you," and "Study what's hard, not what's easy." Fucking damn it, mother! Do you really think I would be studying additions in a class of Integral Calculus? It's as if she says whatever comes to her mind to me any time she goddamn pleases. Filtering out what's useful and what isn't mentally tires my brain everyday. You would think she'd know that I have a memory of longer than a fucking goldfish, but no. "You have to make a right turn signal before turning right." "If you have something important, set an alarm." She's one fucking step away from saying "If you don't breathe, you'll die."

Thirdly, I can't feel the motherly love. Sure, I'm her son, but I never felt her love me. I don't have mommy issues, but the fact that she kept me alive like the two billion mothers of the world certainly doesn't have a bearing on anything. She can't leave me alone to rest. Ever. In Grade 12 when I busting my fucking back to study for AP exams and write papers to Universities she kept screeching at me to reduce my resting time to do more work. I'm not a fucking machine! I need fucking rest! As if that wasn't enough, she made me do housework, phone calls, physical labour that ranged from working for eight hours in a house to nail tiles to the floor to picking up a vase that she wanted in a slightly different position. To her, I was a fucking slave that deserved no sleeping. She even talked about mothers that forced their children in to doing housework in university and slept four hours a day, and how I should be like her. Really, so what have you done for me, mother? Why should I be enslaved by promise of food and shelter? It's not like she gave me a single penny. In fact, she wanted ME to cut back on my savings to pay for her goddamn meals with her friends. She always talked longingly about children who were geniuses and still did everything that their mothers asked them to do without asking. Despite the goddamn oxymoron, she was furious when I compared HER to mothers that were actually goddamn competent. For fuck's sake mother, you dictate my life in a totalitarian method and still expect love from me? What the fuck have you done to express love for me? You invade privacy of my room as if I cannot be trusted! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the mother who left her children outside in the cold of a ski resort to have a hot udon (she apologize two years afterwards, but that's beside the point). In conclusion, my mother doesn't sacrifice jackshit for me and yet expects for me to love her, do her fucking dishes, become a well-paid worker and take over all of the world presumably.

Part 2 coming.
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@: RWLabs
Also, my mother is the most subjective liar I have ever seen. During a hard time, my dad had lost his license and still worked physically with long hours and little pay. I was forced to wait for hours at school for a ride home (buses don't go near where I live. I live in a jerkwater farm.) All she talked about was how bad she had it to DRIVE A FUCKING CAR AROUND. She often lies to get things her way. She even lied that my dad wanted Pho Hoa noodles for HIS birthday just because SHE wanted to eat it. I couldn't believe her after I found out at the dinner. In another case, my mother and I were lifting a plank of wood, but she accidentally let go, busting her end of the plank. Then she blamed me for it to turn me into a goddamn scapegoat. What the fuck? But wait, there's more! Even while my dad is working his muscles away, she goes and buys fucking beauty products! She even sees doctors for minute pains that even the doctors dismissed as too minor to handle! What the fuck! I see her as someone who can only see herself; she must fill up her share before she 'selflessly' allows those who earned the money to do what they want. She constantly bashes my dad for buying pizza, but when she wants it, it's the new rave! She even treats watching movies that she doesn't want to see as a sin. She makes sure to ruin every family movie nights by asking stupid damn questions like "What will happen?" "Will the protagonist die now?" HOW THE GODDAMN HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW? SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE TO FIND OUT!

Lastly, my mother can only see the world in black or white. By that I mean in a meaningless dichotomy of 'Good or bad.' THERE IS NOTHING ABSOLUTELY GOOD OR BAD OTHER THAN GOD AND SATAN. She doesn't get it though, she sees me as a machine that spits out good grades using studying as a fuel. She thinks video games and other recreations are the Antichrists. She doesn't get that people need a balance of leisure and work to be the most proficient. She also feels fit to say "Your friend over there is bad. Don't play with him again" because he didn't say "Hi" to her once. She is quite literally the largest factor in my stress manufacturing as well as the most selfish and ignorant person I have yet to meet. When I argue with her about the way that she treats me like a slave that she can do whatever she wants with, she replies to the invincible argument of "What's wrong with a mother telling her son to study?" even when I wasn't even talking about goddamn studying! I get that I need to study, but I don't want to be enslaved into doing all of her measly chores while doing it, thank you! She's apparently a saint at this point because whatever comes out of her mouth is apparently correct.

In conclusion, my mother sees the aspects in which I'm not the alpha child as my flaws, treats me like a goddamn retard for it and does whatever she wants without a single flicker of a thought for anyone else before doing so. She will also lie about anything to get anything her way. I'm sorry that I had to relieve my anger through here, but I can't help it. Even now she's chatting with her friends on my bed on her phone while I'm scheduling courses for next year. Love? My ass. Usefulness? You bet.
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i freaking HATE my mum......i just feel like punching her sometimes, she is a bitch, a freaking control freak....she makes me feel that because she did so much for me when i was young (i dont remember that)she makes me feel as if im tied down to her, i have to do all she wants, she always wants to do better than me, show her superiority....just today i walk in the house and she goes uhh...go get changed right now your clothes are too tight, except that shes seen me wearing this before and been fine, everything depends on her and her fucking mood....she makes everyone see me in a bad light, she always tells them the worst abt me, if i get an A it always needs to be something more; better, never good enough for her ...she is freaking perfect or so she thinks....i didnt think it was possible to hate someone so much
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at least there is sb out there that can understand me..
I read many of your comments, and first of all I would like to thank you for sharing such a hard-to-say subject.
There are so many women that didnt deserve to become mothers, on the other hand we should be thankful that they brought us to life. However.. what did they do?? The just got married with somebody they never loved and had sex and then they had to bear us in their bellies for nine months, to tell us for a lifetime how hard it was for them that they had a child. Clapping hands, congratulations.
My mum is totally crazy, she is the kind of person who yells and swears all the time, she criticizes everybody, she fights with strangers in the street, bullying people, in a nutshell she is just a horrible person. However, when she finally manages to get sb (including me) out of control, she simply thinks that we are all crazy, and then she transforms herself to the most understanding and loving person in order to calm us down.
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A small introduction to understand the situation I am going through: I left my country and went to the UK to study the hardest subject and I was away for ten years. Ten years with great difficulties being penniless getting postgraduate degrees in the best UK universities, however ten years away from fighting. In my final year my dad passed away from sudden cancer during my exams, and nobody from my family told me that my father was seriously ill at home, because they wanted me to pass the finals in the UK. For them, the finals were more important than my dad's life. They all lied to me because of the exams, while i was all alone in a foreign country. I managed to find out that my father is dying by asking doctor friends in London to search what's going on in the hospitals in my home country. The only reason I suspected that my dad was ill was because he never picked up the phone when I was calling home. My whole family was lying to me that my dad is fine and he was just sleeping, that's why he didn't talk on the phone with me. Finally I was lets say "lucky" enough and found out about his illness 2 days before his death. At least I managed to get the plane and come home to see him alive for the last time.
Anyway, let's go back to "mum" subject now. Dad was always kind and patient with my mum (patient people die from cancer, that's what I ve learnt). After his death, I went back to the UK devastated, my tutors gave me the year off, at least i didnt have to give exams anymore. Finally, two years later I managed to get over the shock of my fathers sudden death and my whole family lying to me, and I returned to the uni to give my finals for that pg degree, which I passed with distinction. All of this time my mum was crying on the phone pretending that she is a depressed widow, begging me to leave the UK and come back home to her. Unfortunately I did it. I left the UK and returned home right after my success. I left everything behind, I didnt look for a job on my subject, to come back to my home country (which also struggles from the financial crisis) just to be with my "sad" mum. I believed she had changed, I felt sorry for her, I believed that my father's death made her realize that she shouldn t be such a bully. How wrong I was.
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I came here and from the very first moment she tried to introduce me to her "boyfriend", an alcoholic guy, with whom she used to cheat on my dad when I was 4 years old. The happy widow!!! That guy also harassed me badly, asking me to kiss him and touching my bottom. When I told my mum about his harassment, she told me that I am jealous of her "relationship" (she is 70 and the guy is 75, I wnder what the fuck they re doing)!!!! She also told me that I am hysterical, because its not the first time sb touches my bottom and I shouldnt bother about that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In the meanwhile I found out that she owes money to every single bank in the country, she hasnt paid one single payment since my dad passed away. She owes mortgages, I am supposed to have inherited 75% of my dad's properties, but she never allowed me to see any of the formal documents that she was entitled to sign for me while I was abroad. I am looking everywhere for the documents, trying to find out what I own and what kind of debt I have inherited, and I cant find anything plus the fact I am jobless and dont have any money for a solicitor to investigate this case. I have always found out that there are loans in my name which I NEVER SIGNED. I dont know who put my signature to get a loan in my name, my brother says she did. I didnt get any loan myself anyway, somebody else took it and its me that owes the money now. When I arrived home I told her that I would rennovate 2 empty properties that we have in order to get income from rents in order to have enough income to pay the ghost-debt, she never cared to help. NEVER. I was renovating the flat myself, I didnt even hire a builder, did all the hard work by myself because she didnt want to pay. She gets my dads money every month (widow's pension) and goes straight to the town where that disgusting alcoholic lives, and spends all my dad'smoney with him, leaving me in our city, taking care of my 93 year old grandmother. I ve spent the past 2 years in my bedroom, never go to the living room or kitchen when she is here to avoid quarrels. When she leaves to see her beloved disgusting alcoholic, I also have to stay in my bedroom to take care of my granny. I am 39 years old and all i do is figting with a wanker mum and taking care of my granny. I have decided to go back to the UK and find a job there according to my qualifications, and when I settle there find a good solicitor here to clear up the situation. However, I am trapped here because I am penniless, my gran gives me money for my cigarettes. I ve put all my effort to study and get the top qualifications as a mature student, to end up trapped in a room, full of debt, fighting with an idiot dangerous woman that my dad didnt have the strength to divorce, and taking care of my gran. What the fuck is going on. Why do they behave like that to their own children. What kind of shitty people are they? I still cannot accept the fact that my mum is such a digusting woman. But I have to.
Thank you for listening guys, it is really sad to have mums like that, but you are not alone.
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ps
I d like to add that every single moment she tells me how much she pays for me, reminding me that she paid for my studies (I m also wondering how much she has paid for my studies, if I have inherited a debt of about 300000 euros. Thats the amount I owe according to my brother, as I have never seen any formal documents) It is also important to say that my dad had no idea of the debt amount before he died, as there were cards and loans in his name, that he never had any idea about their existence. Dad was very careful with financials he would never borrow money that he wouldnt afford to pay back.
I ve been listening that my mother pays me since I was 12 years old. All of my life I remember her shouting that getting maried and having "bastards" (thats how she calls kids) is the worst think a woman can do.
I repeat myself: What kind of shitty person she is???
I am disgusted. Whenever I feel i have to talk to her, my stomach aches like crazy because I know that 90% she will find a reason to start fighting and yelling. I have to put up with her everyday living in the same house. I beg God everyday to help me get out of here, i dont have any more patience, my stomach feels like broken.
Thanks for listening
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It happened again last night. Mom fell and that alert button brought the fire dept. I was woken by 2 firemen knocking on my door.t This is terrible for me because my father sexually abused me when I was 11. My sister know because we shared a room. She and my mom are trying to hurt me. This brings on all sort of PTSD. They don't care. They want me all screwed up and paralyzed with fear and terror so I'll just be my mom's bitch.
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My birthday today. Happy birthday to me. I wish I could go back 57 years and never be born. I want to ask her, is this what you thought when you gave birth to me: ha, this girl's gonna be my servant in my old age.
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Physical abuse is obviously crossing the line.
But verbal and emotional abuse can be equally if not more damaging and is so underrated.

As far as I'm concerned, that woman just gave birth to me.
She is not my mother.
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I hate my mmum too! She never shuts that big fat trap either. She thinks she's a social worker, and she barely graduated high school. Always trying to figure out what is wrong with someone. She is what is wrong with me! I'm going to college next fall and can hardly wait to get out of this house. She sits around all day complaining about her knees hurting to my stepfather, and the rest of the family. Always in everyones business, fukn btch. Always complaining she cant lose weight. I've told her to try the gym, and she does work out once in a while, but eating pie, cookies, etc secretly at night does not help! She's huggggeeee.
She uses my sister and I as her 'personal maids'. Screams and yells all day long. I wish I had a brother, she said 'she only wanted girls. She is on the internet all day, eats, screams and yells, but she has 'OCD' Or so she says. She does not have ocd, she has 'I'm a fkn nosey N everyones business biotch. She claims to be a Christian. Catholic 'what a Joke' the woman knows nothing about the bible, but dont say that to her. Oh she knows all. She knows shit. God I hate her. She thinks she's 20, acts five, and will be 40 soon. Her LOUD SCREAMING ALL THE TIME voice is awful, screeching, sounds a lot like pig squealing. She and my stepfather are having sx right out in the open, and we can see them, and hear her nasty azz. She's so gross. Well they both are. Imagine walking in the house and seeing two 300 pounders going at it. EWWWWWWWWW THEY ARE NASTY!
My father was right. She makes me sick!! It's disgusting. She biotchs all day long about her 'so called disease'.. Shes got a disease all right, it's a brain disease. She's a raving lunatic.

She beatS us all the time, and would slap my baby sister across her face daily when she was just a baby. She beat me on a daily basis too. I want to live with my dad, but hes always away. He works!!! She's been fired or left jobs that she was only at for two weeks. We had to live with my gm, and that witch was horrible. I hate them both, but I just smile, and wait for the day i can move away from this lunatic.
Social worker llololol
Cant help the distain I feel for this hag. Cant believe I came out of her gross body. Dad left because she abused him, and she refused to take care of herself, the house was filthy, and she stunK. Gross, nasty woman. I hate her for the abuse she has put us through. She needs to go back to schooL, and get some parenting classes. I straighten my hair, she straightens her hair. I told her to stay out of my business and get a life. But that is just not what she is going to do. She Cant I guess. I cant wait till the witch dies. I HATE HER. Wish i could live with my father. I 'secretly hate her husband too. He's a fat huge, flunkie of hers Well more like her puppet. He does whatever this woman says! He's got this mole on his chin i wish he would have removed, god they are disgusting. Sorry to be so graphic with these gorey details but they both gross me out. She drinks all the time, goes to bars, but she has OCD, and she works with special needs people. NOT!!! LOLOL she's nasty. Takes advantage of people and getting free things, thats all she thinks of doing all day. How can i get something for nothing. Lies to the Authorities about people. Dreams up imaginary things in her small mind that i have never done. She's the nastiest woman! I cant wait to get away from her forever. I've never really told her how I feel, because i need a place to live. I was away in another country doing Gods Work as she calls it, and would rather sleep with the monkeys and orphans then come home to her nasty , f gross character of a so called human. Still trying to figure out what she is. I HATE HER! Sorry if I seem angry I am. She has done nothing but verbally, emotionally, and physically abuse me and my sister since we were babies. FFFFFFFFATPIG. But I just keep smiling at her, without her knowing the motive of my smile. I wont be coming back when i can support myself. Goodbye you hag piece of trash child abusing witch
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Well hello again. I wanted to apologize to everyone in the group if I OFFENDED anyone But im a very outspoken person. I'm a lot like my mother now. I guess im really going to have to work on that. I dont want to be like the fat POS woman. She was a shitty mother! But her mother was shitty too. I guess I'm just going to have to break the chain. I've heard her grandmother abused her mother as a child and the other children Somehow I will get over this nut. I'm moving as far as possible and that woman will never get near my children. Like I said ' I smile at her and can't wait for the day to get away from her vile personality. She is alway mimicing me too. I'm not her muse. I hope I did not offend anyone. She's psychotic and has driven me nuts for years. My sister is right behind me. We attacked her because she has been attacking us. Well we were fighting her back. The days of her sitting on us, and pulling our hair is over. She spits on us when she gets mad. So we spit back at her now. Were just sick of this woman. She is the sorriest excuse of a mother I have ever seen. Everyone knows how she really is, but she tries to play the caring, good mother. People have witnessed her beating us. She knows it too! Her day will come. She is always insulting someone. I hope she goes to Hell for all she has done to people
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Like what she did to my father. Always badmouthing him to people. He was having an affair with a younger woman, SHE WAS stinky he said. Really bad. She had a so called breakdown. She did not have a breakdown she was looking for attention. Just like she does now. I heard what she did to him from a few of his friends. Always yelling. Would not try and lose weight. She overeats constantly putting something in her mouth. lol She is just gross. Glad she only had the two of us. She probably would have eaten us if she could have. LOL dont mean to joke but it has become a defense mechanism. Hope she does not see this. She will go nuts. I really hope i can work on my outspoken traits ive picked up from her. She is very loose physically and in her mind. Sort of like a time bomb waiting to go off on anyone. She stalks people. She says its for their own good. Is she serious! Told you people she is a lunatic. One day she will bother the wrong person, and she will meet ' her Gods work' Shes so strange I wish she would take her pies and fall off the face of the earth
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Too bad you're still going to cry when she dies.
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kamilion
it is actually normal. but you should realize that you look really stupid and nasty breaking crap in someone's house. and that you are just dragging out your own frustration by staying with her. all you can do is move out.
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she carried your ass for 9 months, gave birth to you, raised you, and you have the audacity to say you hate her? a huge portion of her life was devoted to you, not to mention the money it took raising you. parents can be irritating as fuck, annoying, and often unbearable, but you still love them for all they've done. and they love you no matter what stupid shit you've done. anyone who hates their parents is fucking ungrateful.
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It is not a requirement to love one's parent. Respect them, yes, but love? No. If a person loves someone who is abusive, disrespectful, mean, etc., that is an unhealthy relationship. You become the enabler. Believe me, I've been through enough counseling. No one has to love anybody, no matter how much money they spent on you.
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You are so wrong! Parents can and do hate their children/offspring. You're very mistaken!
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I am a mother myself and I have problems with my own mother. I know what its like to carry a child and take care of a baby. It's not easy but it does not give you the right to treat your kid like crap for the rest of their life. I know how much my daughter loves and looks up to me and I would never talk to her the way these mothers and my mother has talked to me. Don't comment about things you know nothing about. These people are looking for love and support. Something they obliviously don't get at home. They don't need another person turning it around on them and telling them they're the ones with the problem. Not all mothers are good people.
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Are you nuts most of these mother need to locked up. They fucked up. Oh so many of us are ungrateful for the abuse they did. Yes it is abuse. To tell a child how they are hated and unloved, how much of pain we are, how much we ruined there dreams. Most of these mothers need meds. Then taken out and shot for crimes against their own children.
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what you say is true. they have many sacrifices for us. but it doesn't mean you owe your whole life to them. i am grateful to her. everything that she did. she dwells on how hard it is for her to raise me that's why she thinks she OWNS me. everything i do, needs approval from her. i dont hate her to the point i want her to die like most of you do. i still love her but i don't love what she does to me. they still our mothers but there are limitations. they carried us for 9 months doesnt give them right to beat us up. a huge portion of their life was devoted for us but doesnt give them right to control our life. that's just my point.
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So I see you didn't like what I had to say and reported me so that my reply would be hidden. I did not even spell out any profanity as you did in your first post. I can see now that you are also a cheat and a coward.
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p.s. this does not apply to abusive parents or those who give their kids up. but if your parent raised you and never laid a hand on you stfu and get over yourself.
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That's not fair to say at all. There are other kinds of abuse other than physical and nobody has to like their mother because in some cases, their mothers can JUST BE A BIG ASS BITCH
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Wow u guys have alot of mommy issues! Lol I <3 my mom
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