Are You Normal?
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I hate people
I hate people. I am not social. I hate dealing with people and I espicially hate it when they give small talk bullshit. Like when they ask me "how are you???" I just tell them I am good but I really feel like crap and that my life is pointless and there is no point in the existance of the human race. But it's not like I'm going to tell them that. I have low self-esteem and I avoid eye contact with people because I don't like to see when they look at me. I left school when I was 15 because I couldn't handle it. My father is abusive(anger problems) and my sister has been in aggrivated robberies and her bf beats her up.
I get so angry when I have to be around people or when I see them in town, children, old people, teens, parents. What the hell are they so happy about??? They're just going to die and rot and decompose into a green mouldy pile of shit...When I see people I always think of the negative things...
I am 17 yr old female....
And also one more thing, is it normal that every time I see a pregnant women, I get this overwhelming urge to want to go up and kick her in the stomach until it bleeds like sharon tate?
I get so angry when I have to be around people or when I see them in town, children, old people, teens, parents. What the hell are they so happy about??? They're just going to die and rot and decompose into a green mouldy pile of shit...When I see people I always think of the negative things...
I am 17 yr old female....
And also one more thing, is it normal that every time I see a pregnant women, I get this overwhelming urge to want to go up and kick her in the stomach until it bleeds like sharon tate?
Do you think it's normal?
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Also i don't think its normal to have an urge to kick someone pregnant.
Get some Midol quick!
I read your post and most of it screamed out to me 'Aspergers Syndrome'. (I'm a middle-aged mom of 2 grown ups, and am on the spectrum myself).
Check out this site - a young AS woman's very helpful and intelligent site:
http://www.as-if.org.uk/index.htm
And a reasonably reliable self-test:
http://glennrowe.net/BaronCohen/AutismSpectrumQuotient/AutismSpectrumQuotient.aspx
If ANY of this resonates, if you identify with any of this, go and see your GP as soon as possible. Insist on referral to a psychiatirst who is qualified to assess autistic spectrum people.
AND don't worry! For one thing, it sounds to me like your feelings are quite normal, sad and painful but quite normal given what you've experienced. Can you speak with your mom about how you're feeling? Do you have a trusted aunt, former teacher, youth group leader etc you can talk with. FIND SOMEONE to help you through this. You are stuggling with a load of awful crap - reach out, keep reaching out: you WILL find someone who'll support you even if it's not the first person you turn to. You ARE worth it.
Blessings - hang on in there.
applepiemom
abt the pregnant ladies, i think its normal to feel angry that they're feeding the cycle. I have two little girls and i love them so much but i feel so guilty for having them bc they're gonna have to go through all this bullshit. Its ok to have the urge, if u act on them thats not cool though.
ppl might suggest antidepressants...but they just make u feel happy even though you still know everythings so pointless. a change in attitude would be the best remedy, if that's possible. Try to smile and find some type of beauty in the world, like a pretty flower, or a wild bird or something. yeah it sounds stupid but thats what keeps me around.