I have gay thoughts just to torture myself

2 Comments

I am not gay at all. I know this; there is no question about it. I have never felt sexually attracted to any person of my own sex, ever, period. The problem is, sometimes I'll be sitting there talking with some random dude I know and the image will pop into my head of me giving this guy fellatio (oral sex). Now let's be very clear here: I would NEVER give ANY guy fellatio. It's not like I'm sitting there thinking, "Oooo...wouldn't it be nice to give this guy fellatiooo..." NO - I only fantasize that way about chicks, and I can get a hard-on just sitting there talking to some nice tight-ass sexy chick, looking at her little lips and breasts, etc. But thinking about performing fellatio on this guy just creates a momentary nasty feeling that totally contradicts whatever the hell this guy and I are actually trying to get done together, like work or play music, and I usually just ignore it and move on. It still irks me something awful, though. I suspect I may be thinking these thoughts just to feel paranoid about being gay even though I'm not. What do people think of this? Is this in any way normal?

Do you think it's normal?

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