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I Keep Having Unhealthy Online Relationships
Im currently seeing a nice & yet sexually aggressive girl online. First of all, normally this is not the kind of person I am- Ive had another online relationship which was more of the boyfriend/girlfriend type rather than my current relationship which is more about just sex. I dont have one night stands in real life nor have I even had sex in real life- I'm still a virgin who has never had any sexual encounters outside of this current relationship & my previous one (although that was a lot more subdued).
This girl also happens to have a bestfriend which Ive also met & befriended online. Although she is not as sexually "open" as the first girl she is much more my type- shy, mature & considered. Definitely not someone who would have online sex. However, I somehow managed to end up in a casual relationship with the first girl, who is definitely not my type & I kinda feel like Im stringing her along- however we both know the relationship is not going to progress since we live worlds apart.
At first I enjoyed the encounters, but then felt slightly wrong, almost dirty, after them. This may have been due to the fact that I lied about my age (I said I was years older than I am to make myself similar to hers- I also did this in my first relationship, although it wasnt a problem), so I ended the sex with the girl. Things got complicated & I thought "Why can't I have a little fun instead of being the oppressed nice guy all the time?". So we restarted the encounters. It felt right this time. Although I said I didn't want to go "exclusive", we more or less agreed that we wouldn't be with anyone else & if we felt like it, we would cross that bridge when we came to it.
However I managed somehow to profess my adoration for this girl's bestfriend. Although I knew she'd only ever like me as a friend since we could never see each other in real life, I implied a kiss during on of our conversations. She took it well & I told her I screwed up & I felt immediately bad because I never ever wanted to be a cheat in my life (after seeing the results during my early childhood). I do have a history of pining after my online friends, even in real life- often with bad endings. Even now I am holding hope for at least 5 different girls that we'll be able to hook up. I know they'll never amount to anything & yet I do it anyway.
So I have a few questions- Why all of a sudden have I turned from a shy, introvert who had morals to someone who could not only then have online sexual encounters, but then cheat too? Why do I insist on going after online girls even though I know 90% can absolutely never be viable? Does online activity relate in any way to real life- I mean, is an online sexual encounter the same as a one night stand or is a casual relationship or implication of a kiss the same as in real life? Is going for the easier girl morally bad?
Am I normal? Im scared I'll turn into someone who cheats or who goes for sexually promiscuous girls over wholesome ones.
This girl also happens to have a bestfriend which Ive also met & befriended online. Although she is not as sexually "open" as the first girl she is much more my type- shy, mature & considered. Definitely not someone who would have online sex. However, I somehow managed to end up in a casual relationship with the first girl, who is definitely not my type & I kinda feel like Im stringing her along- however we both know the relationship is not going to progress since we live worlds apart.
At first I enjoyed the encounters, but then felt slightly wrong, almost dirty, after them. This may have been due to the fact that I lied about my age (I said I was years older than I am to make myself similar to hers- I also did this in my first relationship, although it wasnt a problem), so I ended the sex with the girl. Things got complicated & I thought "Why can't I have a little fun instead of being the oppressed nice guy all the time?". So we restarted the encounters. It felt right this time. Although I said I didn't want to go "exclusive", we more or less agreed that we wouldn't be with anyone else & if we felt like it, we would cross that bridge when we came to it.
However I managed somehow to profess my adoration for this girl's bestfriend. Although I knew she'd only ever like me as a friend since we could never see each other in real life, I implied a kiss during on of our conversations. She took it well & I told her I screwed up & I felt immediately bad because I never ever wanted to be a cheat in my life (after seeing the results during my early childhood). I do have a history of pining after my online friends, even in real life- often with bad endings. Even now I am holding hope for at least 5 different girls that we'll be able to hook up. I know they'll never amount to anything & yet I do it anyway.
So I have a few questions- Why all of a sudden have I turned from a shy, introvert who had morals to someone who could not only then have online sexual encounters, but then cheat too? Why do I insist on going after online girls even though I know 90% can absolutely never be viable? Does online activity relate in any way to real life- I mean, is an online sexual encounter the same as a one night stand or is a casual relationship or implication of a kiss the same as in real life? Is going for the easier girl morally bad?
Am I normal? Im scared I'll turn into someone who cheats or who goes for sexually promiscuous girls over wholesome ones.
Do you think it's normal?
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I have done it several times with several different people... and by several i mean more or less 3 times a week for a few months... and trust me i hate myself for it... also i have no luck with girls in real life but all girls online seem to like me
i know they could be pervs but its still that small comfort for me :D
for the last two years i have been 'with' a guy that lives five countries away from me. when i met him online, i was out of a stupid and abusing relationship, where i have been cheated almost from day one, for over a year, without knowing. this guy i am with now..he has absolutely no skills towards women, and for being so 'clumsy' and innocent, i came to like him very much. we got to that..webcam stuff, about a month ago. sometimes i am scared that he might be just playing with me. sometimes i wonder if he has been with me for all this time because i look good,and he just wanted to get to see me naked. i never been with anyone else since i met him, even when they hit on me, i'd tell men that i am with someone. i'll be with him in flesh, for the first time, in january. i have been loyal to him always even without touching, but i am ready to leave him immediatly if i find out that he just wants to play with my big bra.the girls you are with, they will find out what you are doing..mostly if they are friends, the most shy and considerate will probably be offended.
watch out for angry women..they will gang up on you and kick your ass! O_O
In the end, my guilt got the better of me and I told the girl. She took it well, but for some reason got even more clingy and started acting like we were a couple. Having been burnt in another online relationship earlier in the year, I decided to call it quits - as the above commenters said, I just don't think online dating is for me. It removes all responsibility and makes cheating easier, especially since neither of us were taking it seriously, and we weren't right for each other anyway - I think in real life I would've asked the shyer girl out and never had to deal with my emotions like that.
I don't think I'm a cheat, but somehow I think a different side of me comes out online. A side I don't like. I don't think I'm ever going to be with someone like than online again. A few months ago I would have supported online relationships, but now, I'm definitely against them in every way.