Are You Normal?
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I'm 19, my little brother has more sex than me.
So I'm a virgin, living in a poverty-ridden home with my mother, my father and my two brothers. It's a small house, not nearly enough room for any of us.
I tend to stay home and sit on my computer like the lethargic nerd I am. I have a few friends, but I hardly see them anymore simply because I can't be assed to go out and see them. I fill my time with internet use and video games and it's pretty unfulfilling. As a result of this I'm just getting older without experiencing what teenagers do and I'm always jealous of those around me, who are living life while I sit around doing next to nothing.
I've never had a girlfriend unless you count a girl I knew over the internet(and most people I'm sure do not).
I have poor hygenic habits(because what do I care, no one's going to look at me), and we don't have a way to wash clothes here so I'm constantly wearing the same filthy thing. As you can probably imagine, I have some health problems as a result of this.
My little brother, on the other hand, is 16 and exhibits none of these problems. He's clean, he's outgoing, he has a girlfriend(and has had several) and a job.
I guess what I'm asking here is what the fack is wrong with me and how do I fix it?
I tend to stay home and sit on my computer like the lethargic nerd I am. I have a few friends, but I hardly see them anymore simply because I can't be assed to go out and see them. I fill my time with internet use and video games and it's pretty unfulfilling. As a result of this I'm just getting older without experiencing what teenagers do and I'm always jealous of those around me, who are living life while I sit around doing next to nothing.
I've never had a girlfriend unless you count a girl I knew over the internet(and most people I'm sure do not).
I have poor hygenic habits(because what do I care, no one's going to look at me), and we don't have a way to wash clothes here so I'm constantly wearing the same filthy thing. As you can probably imagine, I have some health problems as a result of this.
My little brother, on the other hand, is 16 and exhibits none of these problems. He's clean, he's outgoing, he has a girlfriend(and has had several) and a job.
I guess what I'm asking here is what the fack is wrong with me and how do I fix it?
Do you think it's normal?
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First of all I believe in online dating. Its normal, really. I have done it, and actually I'm going out with someone right know from the internet. Don't say its fake, you're just putting yourself down more.
Second of all don't be jealous of those around you and especially your brother. Seriously? C'mon, you can do better than that.
Okay, first thing you need to do is build confidence. Learn to respect yourself, and that means get clean. It does alot. Keep your skin clean, hair un-oily, weight under control, etc. Just try not to sit at your computer all the time. It helps. And eating salad every couple of days won't hurt either. I suggest eating one serving of fruit AND vegetables everyday. Watch the carbs in bread, and don't eat fried foods, hon. (McDonalds... Eww! >.
Get inside a woman's head. Know when to kiss her, when to leave her alone, etc. If you know that already, then great! I'd keep it all in mind, of course. Always respect them.
Go out more, PLEASE. Meet new people - especially girls. But even if she is taken, be her friend (and don't have the "creepy-stalker" vibe). She will help you get a girl, guaranteed. Just don't ask her lol. Same with guys. I'm positive they'll have hook-ups.
Go to places that interest you. Barnes & Noble, for example (yay books! x3). If you like books, and you see a girl who likes books, then great! Don't be afraid to go up and talk with them. It also is a good thing to like the same thing (manga, history, mysteries, etc.) but again not an acquirement.
I said all of this because I know where you are coming from. I used to have a lot of the same problems you have now. Just remember: they aren't permanent!
Try it for a few days. Find the courage and strength in yourself. I hope everything works out. Don't let anyone pull you down.
Here is my MySpace:
myspace.com/thisishowixxx
Check me out if you need any more help or you just want to talk. ^_^
Oh, and I'm not 16, a male, and I sure as hell don't live in Japan (I wish I did, though -_-).
My MS is a lie, you'll see.
Have a great day!!
~ Jade
Trying to tear through my wall of idlery and help myself, I went with one of my friends to a small social gathering earlier tonight. Not that I'm socially inept, I just don't do this often. Babysteps, I guess.
Though honestly what I said in my original post is just the tip of the iceberg, there are a lot of things wrong with my life I didn't say. For instance, you suggested that if I needed money I should sell some things of mine. I don't really have many possessions. I have my computer, which is aging and not worth much money, and not really much else.
If I went on though I'd go on forever, so I'll just say again your advice is noted and appreciated. Thank you.
clean up, suit up, and get a job.
my life isn't much better than the poster's
except I'm clean I guess ..
but my life really sucks and I really need to chabge
1. upper your self esteem. you sound like you hate yourself! seriously, you'll get nowhere in life with attitude like that!
2. get motivated to do something. write a book, get a job,go to college, be a musician, whatever interests you and that you can afford. follow your dream!
3. if you follow your dreams or get a job, you'll meet people. and probably have sex.
You have to stop smoking that cush buds and go live life like your little brother. Sex is not going to come knocking on your door neither is a job. here is a formula for you.
Stop Smoking Stop playing video games all the time = More time and energy for a shower.
More time and energy shower can = a job
a job = money, which = a car, which = SEX
'wash, make new friends, get a grip' but i doubt any of us could instantly change our outlook and sort out our lives in a matter of days.
This situation is just like when people are trying to 'discover themselves'.
You need to sit down (With the computer turned off) and think about what you want to get out of your life.
Try thinking positively when you wake up in the morning and just doing small things like walking round the park, visiting the library, seeing a friend, they can all help you see the positive aspects of your life and all the possibilities ahead of you.
When i read about you i thought you were middle-aged. You need to lighten up and acted like the young person you are in a way you feel comfortable.
:D
I think I'm nearing a point where I'll be getting a grip on my situation. I have a friend who really wants to help me get a job and move out of my parents' house, which I desperately need to do. My parents' home is awful and very unhealthy for me.
Looking back, I made too big a deal about being jealous about my brother in my original post. He's really not much more well off than me other than he's out living life and I'm not, and the job I mentioned he had was short lived.
Now he just sells pot.
Second) Get the hell out of that damn house and take a walk somewhere, the Internet and your games are not going anywhere. They'll be there when you get back.
Third)Get a job and develop interests unrelated to computers i.e hiking, swimming, art anything.
You seriously need to motivate yourself, it's not too late. But life has a strange way of passing us by, so enjoy it while it lasts.