OK. I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend. Let me be clear: I've never been on a date, I've never been asked out, I've never been kissed, I've never been felt up. It's like men are repulsed by me or something. And I'm not religious, so I don't have a church community patting me on the back and making me feel a little better. Right now I'm having all these different emotions, like being incredibly desperate and feeling like a loser, and noticing how disappointing the guys around me are, and being content with being by myself. I should also mention that I'm fat, so that might be why no guy ever looks at me. but there are lots of fat women out there with boyfriends, so that can't be why. Can it? What I hate the most is when i tell my friends about this and they all tell me, "Oh, boys are just trouble. Be glad you don't have a boyfriend, I wish I didn't have one!" And then they turn around and start talking about their relationships. It just makes me want to scream. I don't know if there is something wrong with me, if I just give off the wrong vibe, if I'm intimidating, or if it's just because i'm fat or what, but it is driving me insane. Is it strange to be this old and never have had any sort of contact with boys? Especially considering I went to a co-ed school?
don't worry about it, I am 20 as well and have never had a bf either. There's nothing wrong with you just haven't found the right person yet...but don't worry you will.
Just please don't rush it, don't just get into a relationship so you can know what its like. Find the right person and THEN do all that stuff.
I'm 20 too and I'm overweight though I`ve already lost 40 pounds with pure effort, force of will and medical assistance, and I've never had a guy even be interested in me.
I used to think something was wrong with me, that maybe I was just too ugly or too fat or that my personality was flat, or that guys didn't want a smart girl like me, or whatever...And I tried to change everything about me to suit other's likes, while feeling miserable inside.
I saw a potential boyfriend in anything that had pants, I had a fixation with and it wasn't fun at all, my friends were of no help (they did what yours do) and my mom just told me that everything came when the moment was right and to be myself.
Turns out: Mom's right.
My advice is to focus on you: if you want to loose weight, do it!. If you like the way you are, great! That's already having more than most striking, stop traffic girls have: confidence. Get guy friends and concentrate on bieng their friend and getting to know them without feeling like a failure if they aren't interested in you girlfriend-like, be yourself at all times and you'll see how freeing and addictive it is.
If you're meant to have a boyfriend you will and he'll love you for who you are because that's what you'll demand. Don't rush or you'll crash. Enjoy that you're young and flip off those guys that look down at you for whatever reason, since they probably have a peanut for a brain and we should pity them.
And reading all of those comments that blame your %u201Cproblem%u201D on being fat: that's bull! You won't get a litter of boyfriends just because you loose weight, you'll get them because your confidence and your personality will show through and call out to a guy that will make the wait worth it.
Basically yeah this is normal, don't worry, you're far from being the only one.
P.S. I know I'm intimidating to guys, at least pretty sure of it
Just live your life, a guy will come along sometime, dont sweat it
So, motivate yourself to lose weight! Exercise! This is not something impossible to achieve as long as you have the right attitude and the unwavering determination to do so! Exercise brings even more benefits than just slimming you down to your desired figure. It is also healthy and can definitely boost up your confidence to be the one approaching a guy (:
Don't worry, you are still young! There are still many opportunities for you. Do not give up and believe that you can do it.
Ignore your friends unhelpful "advices", and i wish you all the best in finding the right guy!
dont be so desperate and stop feeling sorry 4 urself.
xxxx
I know what you mean, I dont understand when really shit ugly girls get these guys. Its beyond me to be honest.
I dont know what you should do, maybe do online dating, I met my Hubby through work so I dont know what you do for a living maybe try meeting new people. Your still young honey. Dont be stressing.
Heidi x
don't be afraid to flirt a little with any dude that looks relatively pleasing to you, because even if you find some dude who is mr. right you still have to be able to attract him. so you gotta learn those little skillz (yes, that was corny) that draw men to you. its like a science experiment, how to attact the menfolk. Just play around if you really want a bf, (play around as in see how you can attract the right attention to yourself)
i mean any girl can be thin and decent looking but that doesn't necessarily attract men (well, men you want to attract.) Socializing, does, you gotta be confident enough to talk to guys and to flirt with guys.
In the end, weight is not the issue and if you think it is, you are just getting caught in a cycle. If you want to improve your body and be healthy, cool. but don't let your weight stop you from feeling like you are the most eligible bachelorette out there.
Once I stopped worrying about it and started to see myself as the beautiful woman I'd always been, and it changed for me. Not overnight, mind you, but once I started believing in ME, just the way I am, other people started to notice too. Be patient, work on YOU, and the rest will come.
You could try finding someone from online. Though be careful.
Half of the population today tries online dating.
But to be fair, I also love skinny girls...like the way they can just pop in and surprise you haha. Yeah...physically I like fat girls for the cleavage and hiney, and I like skinny girls for the legs.
Well maybe I love all the ladies, I can't help it. I want to find a stable relationship but it's pretty hard, I feel lonely a lot and it's hard not to get down on myself, and I have a PERFECT physique too...(almost). But a girl like you has got to find someone soon. I'm single right now and my heart crys for you on this one babe.
and if you think your "fatness" is playing such a crucial part on you unable to have a boyfriend then go to a gym, and watch you could maybe meet a guy there too.
in any case, you can't get an STD. which is a plus.
cheers!
I dated a bit in my 20s, but didn't have a serious relationship until my 30s. That may be a bit later than most, but it wasn't a bad thing. Be yourself, do what you love, and love will find you in its own time.