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I'm a complete NERD FREAK and I hate it
3 Comments

When I was in high school I was such a stilted nerdy freak I couldn't even talk to other people. Every word I said had to be contemplated first, and it always ended up sounding idiotic. Even nerds rejected me. It was like I had fallen down from another planet and was surrounded by alien beings. I looked at all the other well-adjusted kids agreeing with each other on what was good/bad, etc., and actually lots of them were already having sex, drinking, etc. But I never would have known. I was so out of the circle that I didn't even know what to envy about them. All I could tell was that they all got along and communicated with each other, and I couldn't say 'hi, how are you?' without sounding like an idiot. Sometimes it pisses me off something awful...why did I get dealt such a sh*tty hand? I have a theory: you see, my parents were these hippies, and they all believed that mankind was 'blind' and 'asleep' and they meditated and always told me that society was screwed up and mankind was screwed up. Sometimes I wish I had just been born into a family where my parents were Dick and Jane and we had a dog Fido and I had a kid sister and we all went to Baptist church every Sunday or something, because that's what all these other kids did. I don't know; do any other freaks out there have a similar story? Were your parents non-conformist freaks too? Did they get to have their little 'enlightenment' at the expense of their offsprings' emotional and social well-being? I swear...I'll never be 'normal' till the day I die I started off so screwy. f**k normal people; I hope you all go to hell, you lucky bastards. Lol no not really...I'd actually seem as normal as the next person to you these days...I've largely adapted and outgrown it by now. Any theories? Freaks of the world, speak out...
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Comments (3)
ieatrocksdirt (28949)
2009-11-02 22:18:46
lol i was an outcast too, but not as bad as you tell it.
i was raised by my father after my ma passed when i was 5. i was always way more mature than my age group which in turn caused me to dislike most people in my grade....

highschool is a miserable time for some. thank god it dosent last forever!
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raphatello (30712)
2009-11-03 06:32:15
I've never fit in anywhere... but I've also made alot of good friends. I think the key is confidence. I had pretty much the same deal as you, except I didn't really give a shit what people thought of me, and I guess they grew to respect that. I was a comic book geek that collected toys (and actually played with them) and I was obsessed with cartoons and quoted Star Wars as often as possible, but I wasn't ashamed of it. I openly refused to go to "cool kid" parties nor did I do any drugs or anything. I was lucky enough to find friends that also didn't fit in so we kind of huddled out eccentricities together and eventually took over the high school... culminating in me being crowned prom king which we hold in high regard as a victory for freaks everywhere. I know it sounds like the plot to every John Hughes flick ever, but it's true.... Basically what I'm saying is freak pride gets you everywhere. Have confidence in what you do and people will assume they're missing out on something and they'll be interested.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2009-11-06 21:36:22
I think you're absolutely right - I learned later (in my late 20s) that you could do/be/look just about any way you wanted, as long as you had confidence. If you acted confident about it you could have a perfect 10 model by your side and go around acting like a complete freak at the same time...you're right; it's confidence, confidence, confidence. My thread specifically asks the question: did your parents get to have their 'enlightenment' at the expense of your emotional and social well-being? But thanks for affirming the ultimate secret to social success: confidence.
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