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I need help, I miss my autistic son and I don't know what to do.
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It is about time I write about this. I am usually giving good advice here or fighting with some moron over grammar, but it is about time I ask for help where I could really use it, my autistic son.

I miss the little guy but it has been two years since I have gotten to see him. His mother is a complete nut and being around her is unbearable. People have said in the past that we all try to find someone like our mothers and this is true. Unfortunately my mom is a crazed lunatic with no concept of reality and this meant that I was destined to find one like her.

I stayed with her for three years before my son was born and I mostly stayed because I was grossly overweight and unhappy with myself. I though being with someone miserably was better than being alone. Well, the start of the third year, she got pregnant. I am not sure if he is mine as her best guy friend was staying with us and I was working heavy hours. We also only had sex one time that month.

After she was determined to be pregnant, he disapeared to travel across country and I was stuck with her and the child. I love this child and I did my best to be with him. I tried to teach him things but after another year I couldn't stand the mom anymore and left.

She had a problem with this and refused to let me see him without her being around. To her logic, if I was going to see him, I had to see her. I was granted no visitation right without her and it is a whole mess. At this time I started dating my black/asian girlfriend and I was with her for three years. I missed my son but I was being manipulated by the new woman and I put my son off. After that relationship ended when I caught her cheating, I tried to patch things up with my son's mom but she was still a nut and I coulnd't stand to be around her.

Now, my autistic son is almost 7 and I am unsure what to do. I want to be there for him but I doubt he remembers me or is even in school. I miss the little guy but I don't want to mess up his life. Please help.

Paul
Budthewise
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Comments (25)
Wow, this is a tough situation. Sorry to hear it's so rough. I guess it's something you have to decide. And not just for yourself, but what is best for your son. Does he know about you? I mean does his mom ever mention you, or has she completely kept you out of his life? It sounds like you'd really like to see him and help him out. Do you live far away? Good luck :)
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Budthewise
Thanks. I am not sure what to do with him. We live in the same city and I miss him dearly. However, if you know what Autism is, (Watch either Rain Man or Mercury Rising) it is hard to tell what they recognise and what they don't. He does smile when he does see me but she is such a horrible person that it is often hard.

As far as what his mom does, I truly don't know and I honestly think she is a horrible person. She supposibly works in a daycare but who knows. She is constantly afraid of me ripping him from her or "raping" him which I always found odd as I never would. She is out of her fucking mind.

I never pushed the issue as I do not pay child support, her choice and not mine, and if I fought and lost, that would change and I still would not be able to see him. I think that she thinks this is a stupid game of hers and yet another mistake I made when I was fat and lonely. Thanks for your help though and I wish others would comment. Apparently this story isn't as interesting as someone "having sex with their dad" or something.
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Yup, I have a friend with an autistic child, so I know all about it. He's such a sweet little boy, too... just gets really rowdy around other kids, since he doesn't recognize his actions or what he's doing.

Anyway I know what you mean about people on here, posting to the "crazy messed up" stories, rather than the more serious ones.

Sorry to hear about your ex. She does sound insane. Or just plain bitchy.

It sounds like a really tough situation. Sounds like you want to be a good dad and be there for your son, but your crazy ex is really messing everything up.

Again, good luck :)
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Budthewise
Thanks.
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Wow, I really am lost for words reading that story..

I can't give you a definite answer, this is an incredibly complicated matter. I think you might need to see a professional to see what you can do to help. This is all I'm going to recommend, because any other option, I'm afraid, is not worth the effort.

You sound like a really good father. I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties, and I wish you every convenience in life and better for 2010.

Hope everything works out for you.
-Syn
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Look here, even though he doesn't say it here he has try over and over again to get a hold of this person (his X) and can't for the life of him can't see him while beening alone. She is an alful alful person and has rasie the poor child the way his is today. I have NEVER met his son and has try over the years to fine both x and child to fine out if he is really his. There was a story that there was a posible chance that he is not his but pleads to have a test done. No mater what the out come is he wants to be there for him. HE WANT TO BE IN HIS LIFE. Here's a question how the hell can he see his son when the mother is wanting him to hide from the whole world even hide from his father. You cant call the police or child services on her because she moves every god damn time when we make our mood. So please in the future don't bad mouth people if you don't understand or don't know the whole story.
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You seem like a nice girl, and I can't fault you for sticking up for your boyfriend. I have no qualms with you and I'm aware that nothing I can say will alter the way you feel about him, but I hope that one day you realize what a self-righteous, abusive, intolerant, lying, hypocritical man he is and that you will have enough self-respect to do what is best for you. I know I don't know him in real life, but he has made his personality more than evident here. Painfully evident, even.
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Budthewise
Although the post above is geared toward you as well. It is nice to see that you tried. However, Bethany is very happy with me and even her mother who hated me before welcomes me in.

I have treated Bethany with nothing but kindness and for that, we are both happy. Thank you for caring about her though.
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Ok, dunno if this is true cuz ollieo said it and we all know he/she is one for massive over reactions but, I thought you were a huge racist, what you have a black./asian gf for?
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Fathers have rights. Maybe try legal action?

This is a sad situation. I hope it works out. Good luck.
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Blasian
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Budthewise
Dear simba1, Ollieo, and sorta on Jen but not much.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Really? What the fuck is wrong with you? You all seem to go on and on about how I am bad at this or how I am an evil person for that and here you go acting like a bunch of ... (I truly cannot think of anything for a discription on how low you fuckers appear to be now.)

I wrote a VERY SERIOUS story that was both real and desperate for help and you fuckers attack me like it is a joke. Although you few have made a complete mockary of this site, THIS SITE WAS CREATED TO HELP THOSE WHO ARE CONFUSED OR JUST NEED SOME ADVISE and you are fucking everything up. If it was one of my sillier stories, have fun but you fucktards attack this one?

FOR WHAT POSSIBLE REASON IS THIS FUNNY? I have an autistic son that may need my help and don't know what to do and you fuckers mock me for it. LETS MOCK ON OF YOUR STORIES...OH WAIT, I CAN'T AS YOU STUPID ASSHOLES NEVER ADMIT TO HAVING ANY PROBLEMS OF YOUR OWN.

SERIOUSLY, I PROMISED LOVEROFBUNNIES THAT I WOULD QUIT THIS BULLSHIT WITH YOU SO FUCK OFF. Lastly, I reported you for this shit so leave me the fuck alone.
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Calm down Bud, they're assholes and don't deserve your attention.

And concerning your...issue.
You have the right to see your son, if I were you, I would take it to court.
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Figures you'd have an autistic child. God only knows what's brewing in Bethany's womb. I'm sure you're not supporting the autistic kid, either. Great job, Bud. Could you fail at life a little more? Yes, I'm sure you can. Do one selfless thing in your sad, insignificant existence and leave the child be.
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Know what? Fuck you...i happen to find that assholes like you always go after the bad guys or the trolls...than you go a yell at em about how fail they are...look in a mother fucking mirror! your just as bad as bud!
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Budthewise
What the hell does your rant have to do with an autistic child? Shut up....
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Ollieo
Bud you fool. You deleted what I said, as you do so often, then go off the handle about a rant. Source? Source, as you so often plead? But within this post? You are so full of shit and hypocritical.

Stay away from that child. Leave them alone. You have done enough harm. And Bunnywhatever. Get away from this guy and figure out what to do with your unplanned pregnancy while you still have time.
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Ollieo
Well Bud even the girl you impregnated has doubts about you:
http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-to-feel-scare-about-beening-pregnet-39022/#comment-342727

Poor thing. I hope her Mom is strong enough to guide her way.
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I agree with the last post. This child is FAR better off not having any contact with this psycho, and I am in full support of the childs mother keeping him away. It is also about time BUDTHEWISE checked out his misses spelling mistakes!!!
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@: simba1
Fuck you. if the mother is a loony tune than i think paul is better off with the boy.
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I'm not an expert, but think of it this way: Unlike some people, at least you get the luxury of knowing that he is still alive.
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Budthewise
Thanks but sorta. Sometimes, I have wondered if aborting him might have been better. I believe he is suffering and will know nothing of the world as which we see it. His mom is god awful and I feel nothing but sorrow for him as well as myself for this situtation.
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go to court you have the right to see your son... and it seems sad that you left cuz that loonatic (did you say it was your own mother or did i miss read) any ways an autistic child needs both parents other wise they wont fully mature (same thing with my oldest son whos 14 now i had to go to court to even get to meat him and learn his name cuz my first gf and i had sex and i forgot a condom and she said she didnt want an abortion) so yeah go to court with this
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I feel like I stepped in the middle of trashy soap opera. Five wasted minutes of my life I'll never get back. :(
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*gives a clock* here ya go...so you dont have to waist any time.
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